beneath-thestyx
neither fish nor woman want me
21, she/her, animal horror enjoyer but I reblog lots of fandom and random
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I ❤️ Eddie Munson
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a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut
kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes
text your landlord
remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response
briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada
remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states
look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”
remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you
enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday
order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.
exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.
return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open
back up
ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead
release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it
you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways
the door swings open
run up the stairs
open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat
cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home
write tumblr post
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saying the dumbest shit in my life and watching the sadness in her eyes as she realizes she still wants to date me
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no one teaches you how to become more affectionate and open to affection after living your whole life in a house where affection was never a thing
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Wearing character shirts when you have breasts
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whenever I think I'm not a good person I remember that 14 year old me could have turned evil but she chose peace instead
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we are so ableist about memory. people with good memory take for granted the fact that they can recall as much as they can, and use that to taunt, guilt and threaten people with memory issues. many neurotypes and mental illnesses cause memory lapses. traumatic brain injuries can cause memory lapses. brain cancer can cause memory lapses.
even if your memory is good, it's not right to guilt someone because they can't remember something. trust me, people with memory problems are desperately trying to remember: it's just that we literally can't. it is a very literal "i can't remember".
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do you ever hear people talking about something and you’re like. fuck. let me be real for a second. i’m too much of a commie to have this conversation
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