beingveekay
SHExpresses
My thoughts can actually breathe here. Simplicity and Complexity. Love and Hates. Introvertedness and Extrovertedness. A little bit of a lot. Black girl magic🪄 ...u kno, all that good sh**...
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Be Comfortable With Being the Villain
In my country we have a saying: "I am not a golden coin to be liked by everyone". It doesn't matter how "nice", correct, and appeasing we may behave with others, there will always be those who will dislike us for no apparent reason. Learning to not only be ok with them disliking you, but going as far as to embracing it can propel you forward.
Many people will dislike you because you trigger something in them that makes them feel threatened, less-than, or jealous. That is a them problem. If those same people proceed to lie about you and attack you to try to take you down, you need to be prepared to be ok with being perceived in a negative light by them and the people who choose to believe them. At the end of the day their talking is just that, and it cannot affect you if you choose to rise above it.
Learning to embrace being hated means that you can stop trying to seem agreeable and nice to everyone and instead pursue respect. Someone doesn't have to like you to still respect you. Respect and status will allow you to rub shoulders with people who can improve your life in meaningful ways, and place you in spaces where you can flourish.
Being liked is overrated and at times useless. Instead, be a woman of influence, power, and good character. When your brand speaks for yourself, the naysayers become powerless and desperate, and others will be able to see right through their lies.
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A reminder for my ladies: EVERYTHING TAKES TIME. YEARS. So start right now with the little that you have and stay consistent. Drink a glass of water instead of soda this time. Do one workout. Take a walk. Take up a class. Read a book. Start the treatment. Learn that language. And try that EVERY SINGLE DAY. A little bit every day, but I tell you something, you will see the results in YEARS. Yes, you will get that degree AFTER A FEW YEARS. Yes, your hair will grow long, AFTER A FEW YEARS. Yes, you will be in shape, you will become who you want, you will heal, you will speak that language fluently AFTER A FEW YEARS.
Just keep doing what you're doing and don't give up. Ok? Ok. Love you, bye bye 💌
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Love yourself, take pride in your appearance, self reflect, sculpt your body, prioritise beauty, stretch regularly, meditate, journal, eat nutritionally abundant food. You have one body — optimise, nourish and take pride in it.
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I need
‘African Mother and Child’ 1956 by Helene Urszenyi de Breznay
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If you need…
Rest and recuperation:
- take a nap
- sit in the warm sunshine
- cuddle a pet
- take a bath
- go to bed early
- meditate
- forget all the yoga and just lie in corpse pose for however long you need
Self love:
- put on body lotion
- change your clothes into something more comfortable
- wash your hair
- light some candles
- write a love letter to yourself
- list 10 good things about yourself
Reminiscence and nostalgia:
- watch a childhood classic on TV
- clean your room: make it cozy and safe
- care for yourself the way your guardians would when you were a sick child
- do a small task or hobby that you used to love - listen to old music
- play a game from your past
Energy:
- eat a healthy meal
- put on some upbeat music
- drink ice cold water
- change into clothes that make you feel good but aren’t pyjamas
- go for a walk
- challenge yourself to do the things you want to do and reward yourself after
Companionship:
- get in touch with a friend
- go to a public place, like a coffee shop
- say hello to a stranger
- call your mum
- message a long lost friend
- arrange to meet someone you love
- join online groups of people with similar interests
Health:
- do some light exercise
- drink a glass of water
- do some yoga or stretches
- go to bed early
- take a short walk or jog
- eat something healthy and tasty
- clean your home
To express yourself:
- write about how your feelings
- dance to your favourite music
- sing
- put on makeup
- paint or draw
- bullet journal
- write a story, some poetry or a diary entry
- change your hairstyle
Comfort:
- drink something warm
- go somewhere you feel safe
- spend time with safe, loving people
- watch a lovely tv show or movie
- get under some blankets
- if it’s cold, sit by a fire
- cuddle someone or something
- give yourself a little hug
self checks are a very important part of self-care and good mental health! make sure you check up on yourself and do things that help you when you don’t feel so good.
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If my 50s are gonna look like this I can’t wait to get to them 😭
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I made a baby blanket for a pregnant woman at work and I went back and forth about it like “is this weird? To like hand make something for someone when we’re like friendly acquaintances not like bffs. God why are you so fucking awkward.” Anyway I gave it to her and she said she loved it and in the back of my head I’m like yea she’s nice and probably just humoring the weirdo. Well she texted me a picture this weekend of a scrunchy faced newborn at the hospital wrapped in the blanket I made her. And I’m like. Wow. She loved it so much she took it with her! To the hospital! To give birth! She wrapped her newborn it! I am just so filled with love and joy right now.
People will love the things you make them. Because you thought of them and you cared.
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