his range ✨

I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

I think one of the greatest realizations I ever made was that I didn’t have to choose between masculinity and femininity

here, have some:

never forget

So for April fools day I hid Donald Trump around the apartment. My roommate hates me. It was worth it.

i feel like this is what would happen if pokemon gym leaders were real

Hey, y’all. I’m sorry to interrupt my typical shit reblogging, but this is really important to my family and me. My cousin Spencer has the sweetest doggo in the world, Aspen (the non-blurry one with the angel face) and she needs surgery to continue living her best pupperino life, as right now she is in too much pain to enjoy running around and playing. My cousin is a bit of a tough guy, and its really hard for him to ask for help, but this sweet girl brings him so much happiness and keeps his life centered through all the crap he has had to go through lately, and right now he doesn’t have the money to give her the life she deserves. Even if its like only $5 or if you reblog to share, it would really mean the world to me, to him, and to Aspen.

Thanks, and now back to your irregularly scheduled bullhonky

I too have used Assassins in trivia and people are always so mad that I know the two ladies who attempted to assassinate Gerald Ford within 17 days of each other???

have i ever told y’all about the greatest moment of my academic career

i was a freshman in college and i had this history teacher who was ~edgy~ and his hotness level on ratemyprofessor was off the charts and he was the first teacher i ever heard use the word “fuck.” anyway he would do this thing every so often where we’d have a “quiz” and the first two questions were always really easy and the last one was hard - they were all similar questions, and the point was to show what you learn about history and what you don’t. 

so one day he’s like okay kids time for a quiz and the first question was who killed abraham lincoln. the second question was who killed JFK. third question was who killed william mckinley. 

we all take a few minutes and write down our answers, and then the teacher asks the questions again so we can shout out the answers. everybody answered the first two with really no problem.

now, keep in mind that this class was at 9 a.m. and i was exhausted All The Time during my freshman year of college so i sat in the back in my sweats and never said a word and the teacher definitely had no clue who i was. 

so you can imagine his surprise when he asked the class who shot william mckinley and without missing a beat i said, “czolgosz,” pronounced correctly and everything. 

my teacher froze and in a very stern voice asked, “what was that? what did someone just say?”

i repeated: czolgosz.

my teacher: “who said that?”

i raised my hand, and my super cool history teacher glared at me. he then asked me how the hell i knew the answer. he said that in the TWENTY YEARS he’d been teaching this stupid class, nobody, not A SINGLE PERSON, had ever known the answer to that question.

i then had to quietly explain to a room full of people that there’s a musical called assassins and there’s a song about czolgosz shooting william mckinley at the great pan american exposition in buffaloooooooo (in buffaloooooooo)

Civ V: where you play for an hour and then whoops it suddenly went from Friday to Monday and Gandhi is nuking you

Civilization V

In which WW1 tanks fight side by side with lancers against samurai.

Where Oedipus is written in 1957 in Mecca.

Where the Inca are the most zealous spreaders of Judaism.

This game-

Working with kids Kid 1: "You like games, miss [bee]?" Kid 2: "why?" Kid 1: "I'll fight you" Me and kid 2: "...???" Kid 1: "Let her live" Bless children

“Of course you wear glasses. Are they those the really big ones?”

Yes they are fuck u I’ve had them for like 3 days and I’m already getting shit #adventuresinfemalegaming #imback

Dance little bird, dance.

IM FUCKING CHOKING

When you play Pokemon Go and listen to Hamilton at the same time

Update: My roommate finally found the last one.

Its been months.

So for April fools day I hid Donald Trump around the apartment. My roommate hates me. It was worth it.