bay2elay
Stuck in yourself
21 yrs. Transman living in Los Angeles
352 posts
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Good days turn sad
Loved youth gone at a heart blink
Sweet life movement turns sour
and I sit in it
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Conversation
Me: I'm going to get better, I'm going to start eating and sleeping well, doing more excercise, focusing on school, going out more, and loving myself 24/7
Me, 5 minutes later: death??? dying??? sign me the fuck up
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Quote
You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness.
(via buffybarnes)
Needing to remind myself
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Been having a really hard time, no one can ever prepare you for yourself when you are the biggest mystery. Hormones were never the final answer, but the culture around hormones tricks you into thinking it is.
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Photo
I’m seeing the 2015 selfie posts going around and I guess this is mine.
IG: @FEEEEYA
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Self care is whatever keeps you alive. This can mean different things to different people at different stages in their lives, because of different needs and priorities either short or long term.
Paying your bills and budgeting keeps you alive. Buying groceries keeps you alive. Eating healthy food keeps you alive. Exercising keeps you alive. Proper sleep hygiene keeps you alive. All of these are true.
Being kind to yourself keeps you alive. Listening to your favorite music keeps you alive. Staying in bed when you’re exhausted keeps you alive. Watching netflix all day when you’re exhausted instead of doing chores or hygiene keeps you alive. All of these are true, too.
They’re not mutually exclusive. All of these are important, but when you are disabled you often do not have the energy or brainpower to do all of them. Some days you need to triage one task for the sake of another. And that’s your business and your business alone - no one else can see the inside of your head, only you know what is best for yourself and what you most need, in any given moment, to stay alive.
You have a right to make those decisions for yourself without being shamed. You have a right to live your life at your own pace, on your own terms, to the extent of your energy and abilities. All you can do is your best, and some days that will look different from others, and that’s okay, it’s not a static thing. Do what you need to do, one day at a time, to take care of yourself how you best see fit.
You don’t deserve to feel shame for struggling. You are valid. You are doing your best. You deserve to have your right to autonomy and your choices respected.
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