me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home
me when I get home:
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i really love the phrase “with all due respect” because it doesn’t specify how much respect is due. could be none. bitch.
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Original
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I love the phrase "they get along like a house on fire". It's perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it's setting off the carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died
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sore throats might be the stupidest response to illness i've ever experienced. oh you want to eat? drink?? breathe air??? TEN THOUSAND KNIVES ATTACK
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reposting so I can come back to this when I know my ring size
16th century ring that unfolds into an astronomical sphere
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Therapist: Fluffy Mona Lisa isn't real, she can't hurt you
Fluffy Mona Lisa:
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DOWNLOADING MILK …
1% …
2% …
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE .
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my job but I'm the demon in the fridge
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Unknown, Cat, 19th century
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Lädïêś plēàšę çâlm dœwn
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