“You need to believe in things that aren’t true. How else can they become” - Hogfather, Terry Pratchett

me, catching students plagiarizing: haha wow just like hbomberguy

Han: why do I always get stuck babysitting sand babies

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Urial: I can tell my Bs from my Ds, but if you showed me a picture of the devil and cupid, I could not tell you which one was which.

Good people of Earth, lend us your ears! The Archangel Gabriel has gone missing. You are urged to come forth, call, or text, with any insights on his whereabouts.

Apparently it’s not?

These morons had a whole testament to figure out the best way to announce to a woman that she’s pregnant with the leader of a new religion and couldn’t do it.

But sure, they figured out how to spell? Bullshit, get me the marketing team on the phone, I need to talk to them now.

Leegions uv HELL all-ert! Have yu seen this missing archngel?! If so, call r text now.

give it two weeks and they’ll all be best of queen

Alexa, play Crowley's Devilish Playlist. 😈

His dad: I... um... My son was getting rid of these, he told me to take them to good will, but I figured you could put them too good use as well.

Miles:... Thanks

Miles “Who’s Morales?” Morales

I can’t tell if this is meant to be a joke or not, but it really is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

Star Trek: The Original Series // S02E19: A Private Little War

"Did you think your dad was thr only mandolorian"

Grogu is excited about all the new helmet aunts and uncles he has.

The Mandalorian | Season 3 Teaser Trailer 

they could have been great

That’s his fucking guy!!!

Directors: We’re changing the familiars name because we’re taking the character in a different direction. Anyone know any Latino names that have some sort of connections with vampires? Monster fucker is a plus too?

the guy who plays the Baron: guys you are not going to fucking believe this

just some observations

I just had the BEST and DUMBEST idea for a short story

i’m watching an art theft documentary and they’re interviewing this art history professor from new york who was asked to go with the fbi to authenticate a rubens that had been stolen but it was a sting operation so they had to pretend like they weren’t the fbi, that they were some private buyer about to pay $3.5 million for it, and the fbi was like “this is a VERY delicate operation because you never know how they will react to what you have to say so let the agent do all of the talking, don’t say a word to anyone just nod if it’s the rubens, the last operation we did the guy in your position got shot because things went wrong in a second” and then it cuts to the professor’s interview and he says “i wasn’t going to fly down to miami to be a part of an undercover fbi sting operation to handle what could be rubens’s aurora and just NOT say anything. i was gonna have to ad lib a little” and then he tells the interviewer that when he & the fbi agent got to the hotel while he was examining the painting he started lecturing the other people, first on how badly they had wrapped it, and then about like how it had been painted, the history of it, what the subject was and what she was doing, etc etc, and he was like “i hadn’t taught a class on rubens in 15 years, so for me it was like being back in the classroom except my students couldn’t leave” 

they are Ross and Racheal, they are the two most annoying dysfunctional people in all of New York City, and for everyone else's safety and for every marriage counselors mental health, they need to end up together because only they can stand each other long enough to make it work

I,,,,,, babe literally the whole point is that they’re a dysfunctional relationship between awful people but they’re funny and quirky-

I'd ask how they found a kid that looks like Baby Mark Hamil, but every kid with blind hair sort of looks like baby mark Hamil

Our baby Luke and Leia, I’m shook. 😱

This is the man I choose to love

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) dir. Tom Gormican