Yea, for I was copying the Bible. And it came to pass that I wrote "gaudius", or joy, when the intended word was "gladius" or sword. And all of the other monks did mock me with cruel words and jests. And when I did recite the Scripture at dinner, I coughed, and Brother Abelard did ask if I had meant to say "gaudius". And on the way to the dormitories I did tell of my encounter with the fearsome black hen of Cheshire, and Brother William asketh of me why I had not slain it with my gladius. And so it came to pass that I took a vow of silence and ceased to speak with all worldly men. Amen.

new favorite meme

hunk of parmesan: i'm getting so small! 😁 keep going! i wonder if i can get even smaller 😯

microplane, getting more and more delirious with lust as my knuckles get closer to it: he's ruight

de una forma una mini pimer es como una cinturonga …

I love Matilda because it's a story about a child who sees injustice around her and gets mad about it and questions why things aren't fair, and instead of the ending being that she learns how the world works and that life isn't fair, she catapults one of the adults who abused her out of a building with her mind

Weaponized incompetence my ass just weaponize it back. Once my dad tries to pull the “but I don’t know how to clean the counters as well as you” on my mom and she said “ok honey I’ll show you” and she made him stand in the kitchen and watch her clean the counters. Then she pulled out a bottle of chocolate syrup and proceeded to spray the entire kitchen in chocolate, hand him the sponge and said “okay now it’s your turn”

you TRICK Jean Jacket?? you give it a fake horse like the landfill?? oh! blood vomit! blood vomit for Haywoods for a thousand years!!

Mikalojus Konstantinas Čiurlionis - The Zodiac: Cycle of Twelve Pictures (1907)

I’m going to reblog this to add a bit of niche gay Tumblr history, which I tend to bring up in conversations whenever this subject comes up with friends, but I don’t know that I’ve ever seen it written down before. There used to be a pretty active subculture of essentially gay male ‘mentors’ on Tumblr, and the porn ban wiped that out completely.

What do I mean by gay mentors? Well, it worked like this. There were a lot of gay dudes on Tumblr with blogs sharing porn and GIF sets and so on. You know, the usual. Some of the blogs were pure porn, but a lot mixed it up with whatever they found interesting. Photographs, jokes, movie recommendations. Et cetera. It would give you a sense of the personality behind the blog, too. And some of these bloggers, they’d even share tidbits from their life. Casual humorous diary entries. Photos of meals they’d cooked with their partners. Endearing stuff.

And if one of these blogs got popular enough, if the personality behind the blog was warm and endearing enough, they’d start getting asks. 

A lot of anonymous asks. Mostly the asks were other gay dudes asking for advice. Advice on sex, advice on coming out, advice on dealing with depression or with abusive relationships or on getting over crushes on a straight dude or or or...

It was stuff where these dudes in the asks didn’t know anyone else they could ask. They asked the only other gay person they knew in their life who seemed so accessible, reachable — aka, the friendly dude sharing photos of his home-cooked meals, who was also running a porn blog. 

A lot of times, the asks were coming from gay guys in high school or college, who were closeted, or in a community or family that would turn aggressively on them if they were outed. And they’d send their questions to this stranger on Tumblr because... who else? There was no one else. 

And, look. Some of the gay bloggers who would get asks like this? Obviously many of these blogs weren’t run by people qualified to answer these questions. So yeah, some of them would ignore the asks, or reply to them in a kinda dismissive sarcastic way, and so people would just... stop sending them asks, for the most part.

But then there were guys who turned out to be really, really good at giving advice.

A subset of the most popular gay porn blogs, before the porn purge, had evolved into these online “safe” spaces where a gay teen or young adult could ask questions from another gay guy in his twenties or thirties — someone who was friendly, and kind, and very thoughtful in his answers. Someone who could crowdsource answers, too, if they didn’t know themselves. “Hey followers, does anyone have any good tips on this?” Generous, friendly vibes.

And people found that they could ask open honest questions which they couldn’t easily ask anyone else in their life. What to do about an STI scare. How to communicate with their boyfriend that they weren’t ready for sex. How to escape a homophobic family situation to safety. How to find gay friends in a new town where they didn’t know anyone. Just... any question.

Sometimes it was really just questions about, like... What is your life like, what with being gay and alive and (sometimes) being in a long-term relationship and having hobbies and interests, and not being closeted or ashamed or dead? How is that possible? How do you exist? 

Some of the asks were just from people who’d been told their whole life that gay men either died from AIDS or lived sinful hedonistic lives full of drugs and misery, and there was nothing else to gay life, no other options. Being gay meant one or the other. The idea of being able to talk to these other gay men who clearly were living their own lives, to ask for advice on life, on how to grapple with gayness and family and on how to date, or what a healthy relationship should look like, or how to deal with body shame, or probe at self-internalized homophobia, or or or...

I’m not saying there’s no other space on the internet that could provide this possible rapport. 

What I am saying is that it did develop entirely organically, entirely accidentally, and was omnipresent among a lot of gay porn blogs, on Tumblr, before the porn ban.

You’d come looking for porn and you’d find glimmers of community. It was impossible to escape it.

I remember when Trump was elected, and... this was stuff where people were freaking out and really scared, and sometimes not able to even express it publicly in their own lives due to being closeted or living in a really homophobic space. And they were able to talk about it and take comfort in conversations happening all over gay porn blogs on Tumblr. I remember when gay marriage was legalized and there were people in the asks, on gay porn blogs, talking to these unofficial gay ‘mentors’ about how much they wanted to celebrate but they couldn’t, because it wasn’t safe to be out. But at least they were able to be ecstatic and celebratory with these other gay men on these blogs, these men who had been in their shoes and gone through similar experiences when younger and who knew what they were going through now, these gay men whose sheer existence felt like being told over and over “you’re not alone,” these gay men who were sharing photos of themselves celebrating with their loved ones because they knew that it felt radical to share that, it still felt radical to share evidence of being gay while existing and thriving, it still felt necessary. Some of these gay porn bloggers had been inadvertently thrust into the role of advice column and mentor, and they responded by giving care and kindness to the people popping up in their anonymous asks in between GIFs of sucking and fucking, they tended to the nervous and the scared in between videos of sloppy blowjobs and improvised threesomes, because how could they not give care and kindness to these other gay men who were too scared and nervous to ask for it sometimes, who visibly needed it the most? How could they not?

“It’s just pornography.” The community was inextricable from the porn. This is an oral history based on an inexact memory because there’s no real record of it left. None of the community spaces exist anymore. They’re all gone. Erased from the history of the internet, for the most part. 

It was just porn.

“Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content.”

This? In particular? Pisses me off. I hate it.

I hate the implication that all porn is interchangeable and devoid of cultural value, so it’s no big deal when a decade’s worth of creative endeavor produced by a vibrant subculture is destroyed, because, whatever, it’s just dirty pictures.

I hate the disingenuous inability to see a distinction between a website that is about porn only, and a website that allows people to blog about all of their interests and aspects of their lives including sex and porn because those are normal parts of the human experience.

It’s the most tone-deaf bullshit.

Sleeping satellite, Lilian Day Thorpe

Школа вождения

relatable moods captured in oingo boingo songs:

going to a party where no one’s still alive

ok maybe you did make a monster in the lab but you are ultimately good-hearted and terribly misunderstood

in an arcade, the world is ending

outrunning the grim reaper

leaving your body at the door

synthesizer-induced euphoria

the world is on fire

80s teen movie opening sequence

montage

what would you wear to a bdsm orgy?

hmmmm scout’s ham costume from to kill a mockingbird 

Getting rich and famous writing lesbian bdsm erotica for Tumblr users but then it's discovered that I've plagiarized all the bdsm scenes from Tom & Jerry cartoons

from letterarii

it must be said that i simply love to watch a character destroy all their relationships in an attempt to get what they think they want only to achieve their goals and be lonelier and more depressed than ever. and to realize they can never go back and are trapped at the top of the hill playing their part. its the dream you never wake up from!!