the next life series needs at least 70% more lesbianism in it btw .

typing speed test

reblogging with a poll for people on mobile as well

how?? just how?

heidiwranglescats

America needs massive police reform. The police go to a peaceful protest and start arresting people that have done nothing wrong

bruce wayne maintains a presence on all conspiracy theory boards with the screen name BruceWayneIsTheBatman and all his posts have titles like “BRUCE WAINE IS BAT-MAN INDISPUTABLE PROOF” and it’s just a picture of Bruce Wayne from the back next to a picture of Batman from behind and they both have the contours of their butt drawn on in a shitty MSPaint red line (note: Bruce is in a suit and Batman has a cape, neither of their butts are clearly discernible) and the quote “THE BUTTS MATCH!!! THE FACTS DON’T LIE!!!!!” and he makes at least three of these posts a day, and “Bruce Wayne is the Batman” becomes a meme a la “Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer” and he gets asked about it on a talk show and he laughs uproariously at the idea and Stephen Colbert just HAPPENS to have a batman mask under the desk and they do a bit together where Bruce Wayne puts on the mask and walks around saying things like “excuse me, bank robbers, can I perhaps offer you some money to stop you robbing this bank?” and “I say, cease and desist your criminal behavior or I’ll have my butler ask you to leave” and the audience is LOSING THEIR MINDS laughing at the idea of this pampered rich guy taking on the Joker on a bi-weekly basis and then anyone who suggests “Bruce Wayne is Batman” in earnest gets met with mocking “oh man do the butts match” comments

"people in real life: hey man how's it going" is a killer phrase. instantly neutralizes whatever insane discourse you find online. gonna start using that from now on

Why the Neighborhood is the best group this season:

Stress gives Iskall a cat

Iskall does not want a cat

In an attempt to not get anymore cats, Iskall tries to convince Stress that RenDOG wants a cat because he’s obviously historically a cat lover. I mean, it’s even in his name

Iskall sells VintageBeef an apartment with one of the cats he did not want from Stress already living inside

VintageBeef is very excited to have a cat come with his new apartment

Because the cat is tamed by Iskall, he needs another cat

In conclusion: Beef wants cats, Stress wants to give people cats, Ren is involved for no good reason, and Iskall somehow now actually needs a cat

there’s a new potent drug called “the bed” out on the streets. just one hit of the damn thing and you’re passed out cold, tucked in, multiple blankies, honking and shooing for hours. scary stuff.

I have a disorder that makes me want to headcanon every nonhuman character with the ability to purr regardless if it makes sense for their kind or not. It's called being right. With enough research i could justify a tree purring if i wanted to

Zedaph's a bit of mystery at first. He seems to be a completely normal alchemist--a little odd, a little offputting, but Skizz takes nicely to him and his brews, especially after a harming potion helps get him out of a sticky situation. But no one else seems anywhere near as confortable with him; Tango's flames blaze up at a mention, Impulse says his name like he's some sort of god, and Grian--powerful enough in his own right--shies away from his touch.

Skizz isn't bothered by this, until he's brought to near-death by the villain and wakes up on the back of a soft pink sheep, Zedeath peering into his eyes.

It turns out Zedaph's the apprentice of Death Himself, and he's quite fascinated with Skizz's appearance in Hermiton. He has the ability to bring people back from the dead--plus some luck magic, granted to him by Tango, who he saved from hypothermia a few years back, and reality distortion, which was his usual magic before he got apprenticed. In exchange for being brought back to life, Zedaph gives him a list of near-impossible tasks for Skizz to complete, and if he fails, Skizz joins his collection of souls.

When Skizz completes them using faery-esque tricks, luck, and the help of the Hermits, Zedaph is honestly impressed, and gives Skizz a magical lamb as a present whose wool can heal any injuries if rubbed on the wound. It's named Wormy.

.

《 Minecraft 》 Steve x Alex yuri

Muscle practice woo

i love minecraft waiting behaviors. Writing on a sign and you can vaguely see your friend hopping around making spontaneous parkour out of the terrain while they wait for you to finish. writing a message in chat and having the person you’re talking to crouch right in front of you or stand as close to you as possible while they wait for you to finish. Finally finishing writing in a book only to see your friend has made several new furniture pieces and/or surrounded you in a cobblestone cube that may or may not have a sign on it. theres something so charming to it

Alex and Steve Minecraft are t4t. Their deadnames? Adam and Eve. In this essay I will