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averagebookwyrm · 3 years

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Ahh, everyone should watch this show even if you don’t usually watch kdramas. Just when I think I’m getting ready to moving, I get to read these lovely fics from the wonderful Law School community.

This is for @averagebookwyrm who was being amazing and putting out prompts for me long ago and me being a complete dumbass that I am, I totally forgot about it. So apologies and let's do this.

Prompt: Han Joon-Hwi defending Sol A from malicious comments from fellow students against the malicious comments for her juvie time or him stopping someone from comparing Sol to her twin.

Aaah I don't think I did justice to the prompt but let me know your feedbacks. Love and hugs from me 💕

I'll Be There (When You Need A Little Love, I Got A Little Love to Share)

The study group was unnaturally quiet, one chaotic afternoon. With all heads either lowered or resting away, a heavy silence was looming over them. It was, as if, the quiet before a storm. The video they made against Assemblyman Ko was up and viral with mixed reactions. Initially, it brought great joy to the squad until they realised that this all seemed too easy and the lack of reaction from their offender was even more alarming because as Kang Sol A said one uneventful evening:

"I would rather have Ko barging in and screaming at us than being all quiet and sly. Who knows what goes on in that head?"

Not everyone agreed because watching an Assemblyman barge into the back room of a photocopy shop screaming at a group of young adults was very... unappealing to say the least but not everyone could disagree either (prominently Han Joon-Hwi, but he does not deserve special mention here because he basically agrees to anything his Sol says but that's not important). The delay in the reaction was only more breath holding until hell broke loose suddenly one day.

Kang Sol A rushed through the gates of her school looking for a certain face that would give her some assurance but all she could spot was people staring and pointing at her, even flinching away as she approached them. Sol pretended not to notice as she always did (okay, sometimes she is actually oblivious but only sometimes). She finally spotted her, walking towards the doors with the same aura of confidence and confidentiality that screamed strength. Without any time to waste, she called out.

"Kang Sol B!"

While Kang Sol B was very aware of what is making everyone stare at her roomie, she was also understandable of her roomie's lack of response at it and she could not help but wonder if she was actually aware of what was going on about her. Watching her being nochalant about it, she finally broke out the news to her. She watched her roomate's face transform from questioning to shocked and finally to angry. She watched as Han Joon-Hwi quietly approached them (Sol A, particularly) and slipped the phone away from Kang Sol A's hand to prevent her from writing angry gibberish disguised in lawful words. As she left the building soon after a brief discussion with the both of them, as subtly as she could, she sent up a prayer that 'Sol A unnie gets through this harmless'.

Han Joon-Hwi knew one thing for certain that Sol was not fine. Not because of her studies and just overall tendency to work herself until she won't be fine but because he knew that as much as she tried not to be or pretended not to be, she was well aware of every judgemental stare and reaction she was getting. Ko pretty much blew up her past and people are always looking for one straw that would lead to heckles and Sol's past has been unacknowledged weakness for her.

He noticed how her head hung lower than usual as she walked through the hallways or settled in classes. He was observant of how she would automatically flinch when someone would loudly call out for her and she would subtly move a slight inch behind him as if that would stop everyone from noticing her and he would obviously let her. Heck, he was more than ready to sue off anyone who dared to cross the unspoken limit of patience but he wasn't a hero to a damsel in distress and Sol was anything but a damsel. Sol has always been a little, cloaked ball of fire to him and he knew very well what she was admirably capable of. But still, watching her loud nature, quieten down was painful for him to watch.

Soon, news was spreading of Kang Dan's arrival. Joon-Hwi had never even met her in person but he was already irked at her. The devastated look that Sol had on her face in court as her twin sister 'Erica Shin' appeared on screen without a warning, broke his heart. He listened quietly later that day as Sol complained how her sister should have contacted her before all of these happenings and he could not agree more with her but he reasoned equally, if not more, softly that she must have had her reasons. The study room was dark and empty so he edged as close to her as he could without making her uncomfortable until she slightly leaned on him and murmured about how tired she was of all this. They spoke in hushed voices even though no one was around to hear them or see them, leaning against each other and barely awake.

To Kang Sol's dismay, her going to Juvie was barely old news when Erica Shin being her twin became a wildfire. The talks combined to form the ultimate gossip of Hankuk. Everywhere she went, she was visibly compared to her twin and as much as she tried to pull herself together, it was in vain. Especially because these happenings were not rare or something that Sol was not used to. Before Dan went abroad, life was similar and Sol initially berated herself for letting herself forget the fact that she should be used to all this. But things weren't easy and it was like so many things going wrong at once. She still had to skilfully defend Ye-Seul from the victim blamers and she convinced herself that it was 'not the time to act precious'. Things weren't going great. Little did she know, that the ultimate scene was yet to unfold.

It was a quiet weekend and Kang Sol A had just settled quietly in the couch facing the Justice Statue. Her mind was running a hundred miles per hour as the recent events went through her head again and again. Lost in thoughts, she barely noticed the two people approaching her with distasteful frowns until they were right in front of her. Sol looked up to find a particularly familiar face and could not help but mirror the disgruntled frown on her face. It was the girl from earlier that week who was so very not politely badmouthing Ye-Seul and later, her when she went to defend Ye-Seul.

The girl must have noticed the expression on her face because she smirked a very mean smirk before speaking to the boy who stood with her.

"Look at her. Doesn't she look like the kind of person who has obviously been to Juvie?"

The boy looked overjoyed at his turn to speak as he replied,

"Definitely. Actually, by now this should be a ready-to-go-to-prison face."

They shared the loudest fit of laughter then that one can laugh after uselessly humiliating someone.

By then, a small crowd had gathered around. Sol looked at the eager people before scoffing and standing up from her comfort. But before she could even say anything, the girl mercilessly continued.

"Ah, that face. The look of a psychopath hunting its victim, is definitely this."

Her friend continued with a laugh,

"Such a shame. Tell me Kang Sol, are you packing up already? Your sister is coming back, right? She would be more useful to this school than you multiplied with ten. How did you even get the scholarship?"

A buzz of laughter echoed the lounge.

Sol wanted to scream an epic comeback but at times like this, the only thing that comes back to her is her memories; memories of what happened the last time she fought back and how fingers were pointed at her and her family for years after that. The world was swaying slightly at her feet as her vision blurred. She wanted all of them to go away and all of this mess to be just a nightmare. Just as she was about to scream her throat out, a cool voice made the very hyped crowd shush.

"I think the only one to pack up should be you and maybe, your friend."

Sol's head snapped to her right where she could see Han Joon-Hwi standing quiet as a statue. Anyone could read his expression as stoic and pretty much neutral as he spoke, hands stuffed in his pockets. But Sol could very well see from afar that he was far from neutral; he was immensely provoked. His pupils had turned a dangerous coal unlike their usual warm brown and the usual small smile he had when she is nearby was gone.

The boy who was very glad to make Sol a laughing stock was very taken aback and so was his friend. Han Joon-Hwi slowly moved past the crowd until he was beside Sol. He continued,

"And judging by how easily you are standing here and interfering with people's personal lives, must be because you are very capable in your field and have nothing to stress about, the both of you? Well, in that case you should have no problem if Sol asks Professor Kim to hand over some cases of the Legal Clinic to you two? Seeing how Sol can easily take on more than one case and successfully beat it down and still be stressed about her being under qualified, you two should be able to do much more than that, right? And to everyone here, you all should be most aware of Sol's capabilities. Especially because she is a scholarship student. Hundreds of people apply for it and being selected and doing as good as she is, is definitely not everyone's forte. Learn something while you are at it and as future law individuals you should know what leads to what."

Sol stared with awe at her best friend, who defended her in front of so many people. She has not much experience of people defending her and now that Han Joon-Hwi is, in full blown motion, defending her, she could not help but breath a little heavily and feel a certain amount of heat in her stomach and heart. She felt important and acknowledged as she watched the two bullies take a step away, then another as the crowd disperses away. Finally, the girl huffs loudly and walks away followed by her friend, who definitely glared at her for a while.

Once the regular pattern of movement ensues, Han Joon-Hwi turns back to her and she watches with surprise how drastically his demeanor changed. His eyes were back in its warmth and a very soft dimpled smile stared back at her.

"Are you okay?"

Sol could only nod before sniffling loudly and finally saying,

"Thank you. But I could have defended myself."

Han Joon-Hwi chuckled at that and moved to fix the bangs over her eyes as she lightly flinched at the gentle caress it caused on her forehead.

"I know. Having the capability to solve every problem by yourself is definitely something to be proud of. But, always solving every problem on your own is a stubbornness one should not have. I know you can overcome all of this but you can lean on me when you get tired and let me take care of it from there until you can take the reigns again."

Sol was left gaping like a fish as Han Joon-Hwi settled on the couch beside her, hands crossed behind his head. He genuinely smiled at her once again before closing his eyes leaving Sol to contemplate and dream about all the aspects that his words could have held.

Ah, she was so in love.

#jtbc law school #solhwi

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averagebookwyrm · 3 years

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Solo Travelling as a Shy, Awkward Introvert

I’m an introvert, but I love people. I love watching people, I love getting lost in crowds, and I love talking to strangers (on a one-on-one basis of course. Anything more than that and I dry up like a fish out of water. As long as I don’t have to commit to interacting with someone for a long period of time, I can make my energy levels last). I become a different person when I meet someone new. Someone I don’t entirely recognize. My voice changes, my laugh changes, and the way I smile changes. I feel myself channeling someone from before my time. I warm into a nice-to-meet-you kind of person. I fake a charisma. Not that far off from my customer service persona to be honest.

My housemates lovingly call me The Ghost because they never hear me come into the kitchen. I like the idea of being able to slip in and out of places without people noticing. I can start and stop existing whenever I want. I can become whoever I want. It feels powerful being elusive and hard to pin down.

With that being said, I love drifting through public spaces. Every trip into the city feels like I’m collecting wisps of energies on the street that people leave behind while going about their day. It’s especially thrilling to wander alone. I peer into dark windows and watch the shadows of the houseplants sway on the carpet of an empty office. I watch the glow of a refrigerator inside a Dairy Queen after hours. I watch people dance to a live band as I pass by a bar patio on a Saturday night. I like riding the subway and watch people hop in and out and wonder about those who stay and how much longer they’ll be staying on board.

As someone who’s always keeping track of who’s around me, I like to be pleasantly caught off guard. I like to be surprised by a stranger who managed to stay outside of my field of interest and is opened to conversation. Of course, ghost hunters come in two flavours: those who want to capture and those who are friendly and curious. Hanging around long enough to out who’s friend or foe is a harmless game as long as I manage to improvise a plan of escape. As a ghost, you still need a lifeline and a clean exit.

Having strict parents also means that I can’t play ghost all night. I’m more like a rip-off Cinderella, only instead of going to the ball, I get to attend witching hour. And like all people with questionable judgement, I lie. I lie to my parents in order to slip out and get a glimpse of the city’s nightlife and I lie to my friends in order to be alone. It’s easier to pretend that I’m somewhere else in order to avoid questions and explanations. It’s like performing a magic trick where I disappear and reappear where you least expect it. Although, they probably say the same thing about murdered people.

(I also don’t advise that you keep your whereabouts in complete secrecy if you can help it. Find someone who supports your need to take trips alone and let them know where you’ll be)

But in case you’re still wondering how to get started on going on solo trips, despite all the unnecessary risks, this is how I got started.

-Cafes are singles-friendly. There are always people working or studying alone on their laptops. No one pays attention to you because they’re all immersed in their own world.

-Riding the subway. Just ride the train from one end of the route to the other and watch as people get on and off. Watch the ebb and flow of people change as they day goes on. Sometimes it can be interesting to see who you can make and maintain eye contact with, but this can become creepy pretty quickly. It’s not about staring. It’s about communicating and connecting. Of course, when someone shows signs of discomfort, stop. Respect is utmost key.

-Go hiking or go to a family-friendly park. Unlike a restaurant where you’re stuck in one spot and are more of an easy target for people to judge you (even though they’re not), parks are where you’re constantly moving and so are the people around you. The people you’re around is constantly changing, so no one will notice you. Harbourfronts and the public gathering spaces outside of city halls can be nice places to explore. The key is to be a tourist in your own city. Discover the lesser known sites. Find your favourite street. How do these places change with each season?

-Similarly, go to a museum alone. Look at some art. Museums are the best place to be alone because you can take in information much more efficiently that way. Same thing with art galleries and bookstores. Art is great to be consumed on an individual basis. You explore at your own pace and you can get a better understanding of what you like and what you don’t like without other people distracting and influencing you. Everyone’s focused on the art so no one will notice you’re alone. It’s extremely therapeutic and meditative. Libraries are great for the same reason too. They’re great places to disappear in.

-While cafes, public transit, parks, and museums are great places to be among people without being noticed, sometimes you want to graduate to places that are higher impact and more expositional. You can dine in restaurants. While it may seem daunting to dine in restaurants because you feel out of place and it feels embarrassing to ask for a table for 1, it’s all about how you carry yourself and owning it. Walk in there with the confidence that you’re dining alone and proud. Yes, there will be groups of people around you who are laughing and animated by each other’s company while you’re trying to disappear by pretending to check your phone while waiting for your food to arrive, but that’s okay. Who cares what they think, and odds are, they aren’t even thinking about you. They’re too busy talking. Who cares what the waiter thinks. They don’t know you’re story or who you are. Does it matter if people are judging you or pitying you? You aren’t losing anything and they aren’t taking anything away. So put down your phone and look around you. Look at the people around you. Look at the décor. You’re not going to burn if you’re seen.

-I always like walking by restaurants to see what the seating arrangement is like and what the patrons are like. Are there other people dining alone? If there are then I’ll make note of it as a potential place to come back to. Are there smaller tables for 2? This means that I can get a seat for 1 without being afraid of taking up space at a larger table. It’s also nice if there’s a bar because bars are usually meant for single people so that the tables are freed up for groups. Sitting at the bar means that you can strike up a conversation with the bartender and bartenders are also friendly and sympathetic. If you need someone to look out for your and help watch your back, especially if you’re out alone, you can count on them. However, if you’re not an initiator of conversations, like I’m not, you can also sit there in your own thoughts and observe the room. That’s perfectly fine too.

-The food courts in malls straddle the line between cafes and restaurants. It’s a social place for dining, but no one cares if you’re alone.

-I’m not a club kind of person. Although I want to be, I think I’m too self-conscious for that. I don’t think I can fake enough confidence for it. I also don’t think I can make it out of the parental house all dressed up. So I’m waiting for my friends to take me on my first clubbing experience, although being the homebodies that they are, I don’t think that’s happening any time soon.

-So I make up for it by going to jazz bars. Or, any kind of bar or restaurant with live music. This means that there will be a point of focus where everyone will direct their attention to. So while you’re eating or drinking, you don’t have to shift your eyes around the room and stress out over not knowing where to look and feeling awkward, but you can just watch the band. These bars also tend to be chill and easy going, which is also comforting.

-If you’re into dancing, salsa clubs are also a fun place. Places that offer beginner lessons for the crowd before the visiting band plays are accommodating to singles. There’s usually at least one other person around who’s looking for a partner. I tend to stay in a corner by the bar until I make eye contact with someone or someone approaches me. I’m still working on the whole take initiative and be proactive thing. But the point is you can have no dance experience at all and still have fun. It’s all about being open and loosening up. I showed up once having had no dance experience except for that one time in my friend’s basement during her 10th birthday party and we were dancing to Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie on her sister’s ipod. Someone at the bar struck up a conversation with me and offered to help me through my very first dance.

-Carnivals and festivals are also fun to do alone. You can ride the carousel as many times as you want and you can choose which lines you spend your time in. Like parks and museums, carnivals and festivals are dynamic places so you’re constantly moving about so again, there’s less of the feeling of being exposed and vulnerable.

It’s rewarding to take yourself on weekly dates. It’s therapeutic and liberating, and you get to build a relationship with yourself. You build confidence and you learn what you’re capable of. You’re demystifying the world all the while conquering it. It’s empowering.

Solo travel showed me what I should embrace and what I shouldn’t be afraid of. I’ll admit, I flirted with danger a couple of times, but there’s a masochistic thrill about risking it all and surviving (also not recommended).

Of course, there are definitely restraints to who gets the privilege of travelling and exploring. There are accessibility restraints, money restraints, time restraints, family restraints, cultural restraints, discriminatory restraints, and an endless list of other restraints and disadvantages. Not everyone gets the same opportunities to experience the world and you being able to do doesn’t mean you’re better than anyone else. You’re just lucky. Similarly, travelling doesn’t make you more cultured or more of an old soul. There are a lot of people who want to travel but can’t. You might be more open to experiences than some people with the same socio-economic status as you, but even that is a biased comparison and generalization to make. It’s important to be contentious of the opportunities you have and why you have them. It’s also important to be aware of the history of the places you choose to explore. The land doesn’t belong to anyone of us here, and the people who were here originally most certainly had a troubled past because of what they endured as a result of “exploration”, if I were to use a euphemism. In more recent history, the neighborhood you’re exploring is most likely a product of gentrification. Countless of lives have been uprooted that led to us being where we are today. And as a child of a refugee and immigrant, it’s a complicated awareness that I have to acknowledge because the place that we call home and that took my parents in also ruined so many lives decades ago, and continues to disrupt lives now. This is just a long way of saying that it’s fine to travel and explore and live your life to the fullest, but it’s important to be cognisant of the storied history that every place and every person has, and to respect that.

So if you can manage it, go and find your own fun and adventures. Create your own opportunities if you can. Know that being alone is nothing to be afraid of. There’s nothing scary about yourself, or about the other people you think are watching you. You’re not going to see them again, but the experience you create is something that you’re going to carry with you for a long time, so don’t let fear take that away from you. The memories you collect while on your own will be your best kept secret and your greatest weapon.

Also remember not to compare experiences. You’re not going to see everything there is see in the world and your experience of a city or restaurant isn’t going to be the same as someone else’s experience. They’re going to see and do things that you didn’t, and you’re going to see and do things that they didn’t. So stop lamenting over not having seen what everyone else saw, but appreciate what you saw. Sometimes you get jealous of how someone spent their weekend or summer, but during that time, you were doing your own thing. You were still living your life while they were living theirs. Just differently. You still grew as a person during that time but just in a way that they didn’t. And that’s what makes you unique.

Be spontaneous, test your limits, but please stay safe. Do research, be over prepared, and take precautions. Don’t assume anything. If you don’t like a place you’ve walked into, turn around and walk right out. It doesn’t matter what kind of looks people might be giving you behind your back. No one probably noticed you’ve walked in anyway. If they did, they won’t even remember. Their attention will be taken up by the next thing that comes up. Nothing is worth your discomfort or uneasiness.

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