don’t come on here often anymore bc tbh uni has been kicking eating and beating my ass. will be back in the winter (i’m in australia so june?) but i just have to say i reallyyyy love the friendship yuta and ryoki have built up since they filmed twx 🥹 my cat and dog pair… i must squish them until they explode into confetti… i hope they get to meet irl again soon…

mannnnnn i fell back into the dan and phil rabbit hole BAD i’ve spent all my time watching gamingmas and shit i cried once thinking about dan eating soup it’s bad for me

valentines/white day szam where the first year they start dating, ryo handmakes chocolate for kohei while kohei buys the most expensive chocolates he can find for ryo. the second year, kohei is determined to make his chocolate this time because ryo impressed him so much the previous year and he knows ryo will appreciate his effort more than any store bought candy. unfortunately, kohei overestimates his skill in the kitchen and gives ryo food poisoning but ryo still loves him anyway. (their third year together, ryo suggests they make their chocolates together. to supervise him.)

i have wanted to rant about this for the longest time but i didn’t know who to because everyone in this fandom is a raver but i’m annoyed by the general assumption that everyone who enjoys hnl also enjoys those men. i came for ryoki and started liking yuta too because i liked their relationship but now i’m expected to know everything about both that group of 600 people and yuta’s own group of 600 people when all i want to do is enjoy some amazaki yaoi. sorry for using your ask box like this.

ok first i don’t mind, you can talk about stuff like this. second i had to look up what a raver is. ohhhh

okay so where do i start… firstly h&l is ldh’s project that features many of their artists and in the spin off centres two characters played by members of the rampage so it definitely makes sense that a large portion of the fandom are fans of the rampage. which actually does piss me the fuck off remembering that since i came for yuta and got attached to szam in the first place, people on youtube were slamming me for only liking the series for my idol. like bitch nobody ever said that about kazuma ntm on me. anyways yeah i kinda get the gist of what you’re saying? like you i also only really enjoy yuta and ryoki (and on the side i kinda vibe with iwata akihisa and yusei, anyways…) so when conversations inevitably become very rmpg centric in group messages or in challenge tags i tend to stay away. still i don’t see h&l’s fandom demographics as a bad thing, although i do think certain people need to shut the Fuck up about szam and yuta specifically. anyways no hate to the others it’s rly just indifference and a bit of frustration.

also yippeeeee more szam yaoi enjoyers. and you don’t have to force yourself to like other groups or even yuta’s own group lol i don’t like either and i’m still proudly here.

reading suzaama evil dark abuse torture fic and shaking my head periodically so everyone knows i don’t condone amagai’s actions. might even throw in a facepalm

i like my men borderline suicidal and codependent to a fault

IWATA AND YUTA COBRA AND RYO LETS DIE LETS DIE (from iwata’s instagram)

the artist of a manhwa i started reading recently saw the worst x and drew suzaki ryo art are we kidding are we fucking joking 😭😭😭😭

*scratches head* how can i do the top 3 characters thing with only two characters? somehow the math doesn’t seem right

why i got amagai and szam’s #1 hater in my inbox rn 😂 like okay… fuck y’all and all the other characters in the franchise i’m taking suzaki ryo and amagai kohei to the top and they’re gonna fuck each other up there lol

i actually hate amagai i don’t understand why you like him so much

every time someone tells me they hate amagai he gets eviller sexier and toxicer in my head. hope this helps!

oh definitely. suzaki is like completely a doberman i’ve seen soooo much art of him represented by one on japanese twitter. i mentioned the chihuahua thing but if we’re seeing amagai as a cat, he’s totally a high maintanence white persian that leaves fur everywhere and always needs to be pet lol.

szam cat or dog people?

suzaki’s a cat person and amagai’s a dog person! if you mean it the other way then suzaki’s dog-coded and amagai’s cat-coded. but amagai could also be seen as a dog in a yipyip chihuahua way.

szam cat or dog people?

suzaki’s a cat person and amagai’s a dog person! if you mean it the other way then suzaki’s dog-coded and amagai’s cat-coded. but amagai could also be seen as a dog in a yipyip chihuahua way.

fighting the daily urge to call suzaki mother and losing right now…

It's always Ryo breaking down Kohei’s walls and reestablishing their relationship - but what about the walls Ryo’s put up over the years????? It'd be impossible for Ryo to just let go of the emotionless mask he's had to protect himself and actually be vulnerable with anyone including Kohei :/

*acting normal* yes i’ve thought about this a normal amount of times.

i hate how the movie resolved szam’s conflict btw. like it legit provides almost no real acknowledgement of how damaged and hurt ryo has become over the years. i don’t like how kohei and ryo’s shit ass dad were instantly redeemed and thought it was lazy writing so i usually pretend it didn’t happen. i mean how old even was he when he essentially isolated himself from everyone around him and put on his emotionless façade? how old was he when his father (fuck that hoe btw) sold his services to his best friend (fuck him too but we love you kohei) who wouldn’t even look at him anymore? ryo was so alone for so long, he couldn’t rely on his only friend or his own parents because everyone in his life was unreliable and treated him so so poorly and he was just a teenager having the closest thing he had to friends talking behind his back and being diminished for his poverty. his walls are high and rightfully so.

it’s so, so hard for him to let anyone in and really be himself. the soda incident and the knife incident are the only real times he’s actually let this mask slip and it’s only because he was scared and heartbroken and confused. the only emotions he allowed himself to display in the movie pre shittily written reconciliation are negative. other than that, has ryo ever allowed himself to really just open up? he must be so sick and tired of hiding but when it’s the only thing he’s ever known how to do, when his front of stoicism is the only way he’s ever been received in years, how can he break it down without getting hurt and scarred all over again? he was just a child when everything went wrong and now, as a new adult, everything is still wrong even if he’s closer than ever to fixing it.

after the fight i see more people approaching ryo trying to acquaint themselves with him because his stunt in the gym impressed a lot of people and they Know he’s not a bad person but ryo has been conditioned for so long to shut people out and keep everything bottled inside that those acquaintances go nowhere and he still feels so alone. he believes nobody would be interested in him or keep him around if he doesn’t possess the skill set that makes him valuable and because of that he internally fights against people who try to get too close to his heart. his heart is, after all, the only thing he protects more than kohei.

and of course kohei with his people skills and his abilities to read others would notice and it would initially frustrate and annoy him because why? why are you shutting me out too? don’t you want to be my lover friends with me? completely missing the fact that he’s the biggest reason ryo is this way and that ryo is terrified he’ll be alone again and that nothing in his life will ever get better because good doesn’t happen to people like him. it would probably take someone else cough fujitsuka cough to smack that understanding completely into kohei’s head because as strong as his people skills are, ryo is different and has always been. ryo is important and special and kohei loves him even after doing everything to convince himself he doesn’t. kohei wants ryo to look at him eye to eye but ryo is so used to looking at him from below and honestly hasn’t gotten over kohei calling him a pawn lol.

tl;dr ryo is literally broken like his heart is behind so many walls and layers and even the person he loves most, the only person he loves, can’t get through them because ryo knows vulnerability to be nothing but a hindrance, especially when the only way people have ever cared about him was when he was useful and unfeeling

if no ones made a cherry magic (youre the most jealoius man i know, yes that one) meme for szam then somethings wrong

nyway - how was your holiday trip????

worst trip ever i fought everyone on the boat like i can’t even explain how bad it was. but the sky was very beautiful. i understand why amagai was so obsessed with it.

also omg that meme i’ve actually had it in my notes app for a while lmao!! i haven’t made it yet because lazy but maybe i will soon then. i love cherry magic and i’m a bit of a fan of machida keita lolol. i like the thought that szam could interchangeably be adachi and kurosawa but like suzaki would be like *sad* you know other men? 🥺 and amagai would be like *visibly shaking with rage* you know other men? 👺

spare suzaki/amagai headcanon of the day please? 🤲🏼

of courseeee sorry this is so late ig it’s not the day anymore so this is a headcanon of another day teehee. anyways. i’m gonna discuss them being bi…lingual 😁

i like to imagine ryo and kohei are both bilingual. i definitely draw too much inspiration from yuta and ryoki in formulating their characters in my head. my fault. but yeah i think kohei can probably speak english with it being the language of international business, and he’s been learning it since he was born basically. it’s pretty much a necessity for someone of his birth and it’s one of the only aspects of studying he ever took seriously. on the other end, not a single soul knows how and why ryo speaks korean. in fact nobody outside his family actually knows he does because he doesn’t use it and the only reason his dad knows is bc ryo needed his permission to take the TOPIK but ryo speaks it so well he could basically live in korea like he was born there and it baffles the crap out of kohei when he finds out.

i imagine it happening like this: ryo’s father is driving kohei’s parents around and kohei’s father mentions an important business deal with a large korean investment company and how he needs to find an interpreter at incredibly short notice because his usual one backed out at the very last minute. suzaki’s father is like “ah my son is actually certified level 6 in the TOPIK” higher than me because he’s an ass that volunteers his son for bullshit without actually asking ryo first and kohei’s father, literally desperate, hires ryo on the spot and ryo gets a call from his dad like “hey son i rented you to the amagais again so we can eat properly this month thank me later”

so kohei walks into his house and is extremely shocked to see ryo sitting at the table with his parents going over some documents kohei can’t read. that’s when kohei first discovers ryo for some reason is natively proficient in korean for reasons still unknown to us because i can’t come up with a proper reason i just think yuta’s hot when he speaks korean sorry. ryo joins kohei’s father at the meeting, charms the crap out of the investors, helps secure the deal with ease, and thoroughly impresses everyone at the meeting. after that kohei’s dad keeps calling him whenever he needs a charming little guy who can speak korean like a pro and ryo’s like yay i have a real job now boooo i still owe a life debt to the amagai family 😑

and all that aside ryo definitely thinks kohei is sexy when he speaks english.

anyways like i said earlier this mostly draws inspiration from irl ryoki and yuta who speak the languages i attributed to szam. i think it’s fitting for their characters too and plus it honestly just makes sense to me lmaoooo