Always a delight to find out that a silly guy is also a horny slut

the emissary of spring

(for the purposes of this poll, there is no monkey's paw situation: the chore you pick stays the same level of difficulty/grossness/etc. as it normally is for you, and you only have to do it as often as you want to. the chores you don't pick are magically done for you exactly the way you'd want them to be, just with zero effort on your part.)

has anyone else thought about the sword beloved gave fitz as lord golden and how after the quarrel was such and object of fixation for fitz? all the times he didn't take it because he felt undeserving after being such an asshole to the fool. the fool being hesitant to bring it up, maybe thinking fitz was rejecting the gift itself and not its emotional weight after everything that happened.

and then it just being lost forever in aslevjal when fitz had finally accepted it

ok i’m curious

Realder had grown quickly and clearly adored the Fool as much as the Fool adored him. Rarely did I see one without the other in those early days, the little cat always trailing behind my friend, curling around his ankles and playfully weaving between his legs as he went about his daily tasks. It was a comical yet strangely eerie sight, for almost, they could have matched one another in coloration; the Fool now dark as newly polished wood and his tabby gleaming brown beside him.

- Of Cats And Closed Doors, Chapter One

I commissioned the most lovely portrait of OCACD era Beloved and Realder (and the embroidered purple vest!!!!!!) from the stupendously talented @risoria and I could not be more in love with it 💛 Every little detail is so stunning and Beloved and his kitty couldn't be sweeter... Little wonder Fitz is so down bad! Even I can't stop staring 😍

Top-Tier Villain Motivations

They will be safe. It doesn't matter who else or what else burns as long as They will be safe.

I will be safe. The hunger and the cold will never touch me again.

Fuck any bitch who's prettier(/cooler/better-liked/better at making dumplings) than me.

Yes, Master

Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. LOVE ME!

I know the terrible things these so-called "heroes" will do if I don't stop them (<- is absolutely wrong)

I don't want a better future, I want a better past!

No other way to get performance art funded these days

The Palace Servants in the first year of Zuko's reign:

"Your Majesty, a motion has respectfully been put forth for you to employ the services of a royal food taster. We humbly ask that you consider it."

... the fifth year of his reign:

"Lord Zuko, the Imperial Firebenders can handle the assassins. Please stay out of this."

... and the 30th year of his reign:

"GET OFF THE ROOF, YOU FUCKING GREMLIN! YOU'RE ALMOST FIFTY!"

"we need less sanitized queer stories" yall keep saying fucking she-ra romanticizes abuse. you couldnt possibly handle less sanitized queer stories

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

LISTEN TO ME RN, when the character is supposed to be rlly strong and muscular and buff PUT FAT ON THAT GUY fat is so fucking necessary to have a physical build that is so strong MAKE THEM FATTTTTTTTTTTTT

a while ago i saw an anti-cnc meme that went something like "if your boyfriend learns not to stop at "no", do you really think he's gonna stop at Pineapple?" and ive been thinking about it a lot. like, it assumes that words have some kind of mystical meta-meaning that persists in all contexts, that if we discard the word "no" we also discard the concept of saying no in a symbolic sense. It's a lingually prescriptivist argument in disguise.

superheroes continue to fascinate me as a genre, something about being given power beyond what the average person is capable of and choosing to use that power in service to others

but i'm running into what i'll call the "guy with laser eyes" problem in this disorganized rant

imagine you're a guy with the ability to shoot lasers out of your eyes. how do you use that power?

genre conventions say fight street-level crime, which is fucked up! vigilante crimefighting is just being a cop without the oversized paycheck or the extremely limited accountability, and your laser eyes aren't good for nonviolent intervention anyway

or you fight supervillains, that way you're at least punching in your weight class. sure, sounds good on paper but that's some real "the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun" thinking and also you're still not a cop

so you'd say "okay, what if i use my power to address structural problems and deal with societal ills at their source?" well what the hell is a guy with laser eyes going to do to fight income inequality?

disaster relief is maybe your best bet but i don't know that you want to be saving orphans and kittens from burning buildings by blasting a big hole in them with your laser eyes

so what's a guy to do with his laser eyes?

unfortunately i Do feel better when i clean my living space and eat enough fruits and veggies and go outside and generally remember i am a mammal :| real pity that knowing this does not make it easier to do those things