i would like to be active here once more... so

starter call ?? i'll either assume friendship, or start something new <3 if you have a preference, lmk !!

i would like to be active here once more... so

starter call ?? i'll either assume friendship, or start something new <3 if you have a preference, lmk !!

i know the answer but im giving u my url for the meme, poses.

Do I Follow Them?:  yes, ofc i do

Why Did I Follow Them?:  ironically you found me here first, but since we know each other irl u have privileges to follow me on literally any blog that i make, we support all the decisions in this house

Do We Role Play?:  i still have a starter from you in my drafts, which i pROMISE i'm going to get to here, i have just been slow with replying to everyone lately

Do I Want To Role Play With Them:  ofc, i absolutely always want to roleplay with you, i love seeing how much love & effort that you put into all of your muses

An AU Idea For Our Muses: 

A Song For Our Muses: 

Do I Ship Our Muses?: 

What I Think About The Mun:  going off of real life stuff, you're one of the chillest people that i have ever met. i love meeting up with you at conventions and just chilling at a table and having conversation. also i love that we have that kind of relationship where even if we don't talk for a month or two, we can pick back up right where we left off. we have that real adult relationship where we understand that life is completely crazy, and sometimes it really does get in the way of replying to people

Overall Opinion:  i love your blog so much, and i always love to see you post. but i cherish you as one of my actual real life friends who i can meet up when i go to conventions, and we support eachothers cosplay ideas. we also can just chill each time that we meet eachother. 10/10 friend, one of my absolute favorites

Blog Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Send 🥇 if you like my portrayal

i've decided... i've lost muse for the last starter call. it's old and it's ot me a bit overwhelmed and i have so many new followers so it's time for a fresh one !!

please like this for a starter from nagisa !! if you are a multi-muse and we haven't written yet, please specify who you want a starter for or i won't get to it !! you may like this even if we already have threads !!

mun v. muse !! stolen from dash teehee

a law firm got back to me ab my hate crime inquiry ???? so i!?? i might be suing a 1.32b company…. deep breath.

overwhelmed

... pet pet.

pettable

i'm gonna be entering a period of low-activity more than normal. i love you all, but it's a bad time of year for me with a lot of trauma anniversaries.

while i wasn't here in 2020, a lot of really, really shitty shit happened.

i'll be trying my hardest to get to replies from here, till march 7th.

in about a week, it'll be 4th anniversary of my friend's murder, and them finally finding her body after she was missing since october. and it sucks. it sucks that i cant open my snapchat, and see her with her friends, and text her to have fun. that we're not in school doing bloody zombie makeup together.

the same day, my friend went into a coma, and a month later, when i was trying to have a good day on my one friend's one month anniversary of her being found, i went to visit him in the hospital, and he died the second i walked in the door.

later someone that was basically my mom growing up died the same day as him, and they didn't find her till three days later in her house. she brushed my hair, baby sat me, fed me, i came out to her, she understood a lot and never judged me.

this time of the year never gets easier since all of their stuff kind of happened at the same time-ish, it all just blends together. and not to help, but it's usually around the time of year that i end up inpatient, and im off my insurance, and have none of the meds i need to keep me stable.

im struggling pretty hard right now. but i'm trying. im trying to keep my head above water.

Nagisa’s and Karma’s Little Space Adventure 🚀🚀

the words that the other spoke to him caught him off guard a little bit... he wasn't mad at him, that was a relief. a sigh he was holding in with anxiety keeping it in, he didn't even know he was holding it in. a small chuckle that rumbled his ribs a bit too much at the other telling him he gave the other a good run for his money. yeah, nagisa was known for being that kind of person in the classroom as of lately, it was the only reason he was able to keep up in fights.

the hand being held out to him, nagisa tried to read the blonde's facial features for anything that may suggest that this was just a facade. nagisa couldn't find any... so he took the other's hand, carefully using the support to get himself up. he was unsteady for sure, gripping just to the side of his stomach with a cringe to his features, sighing a bit.

❝ i... no, i'm not apart of a gang, i guess it's technically government work ?? but uh, going to the hospital... they'd have to contact my mom, right ?? i think i'd... get pretty in trouble with work if i got outed for being out at this hour. ❞ looking a bit worried for sure... he could always lie to the hospital and say karasuma was his dad... but he was only fourteen years older than him, and that. might not fly too well.

A peaceful ride, something that was supposed to just be through the city and back again. Cut short by fleeing youth dodging through traffic. A curious sight when it wasn't one of them involved. The underground was a dangerous place, but they were all usually privy to the comings and goings through it. The boy wore no gang affiliation but seemed well suited for it in his attire.

Mikey signaled to his second to continue the ride without him. Wanting instead to follow and figure out what was happening with the strange boy that nearly knocked him over. So off he rode, searching through the nighttime lights of the city.

Following the blood wasn't too difficult, it's deep red standing out against the pavement. The resting place a bit off the beaten path but still familiar to him. Mikey dismounted babu and looked over the fallen youth. Clearly worse for wear.

"You're good." He smiled, casually trotting over and squatting beside the new face. "You really gave those pursuers a run for their money." Bright cheeky grin showing he meant no harm. Mikey held out a hand to try and help the boy up.

"Here, hospital's right around the corner. I'll help you get there. You in a gang?"

❝ i swear, i swear !! we go to this place here in tokyo !! ❞ nagisa stammers, it wasn't common, but sometimes in airsoft they would tag each other with knives for close range combat instead of knives for stealth. not that anyone that didn't really participate in things like that would know... it just sounded confusing. ugh, he really needed better coverups for situations like this... situations he wasn't even supposed to be in !! if he told karasuma or koro-sensei that he was using his new found skills outside of class... he was really going to get into serious trouble. extra training, extra home work... ugh. he didn't wanna think about it.

the list of things these kids have had to go through lately had been growing longer and longer, and the means to blow off steam have been lessening. the takaoka situations... not just one, two of them had made nagisa teeter off of the edge a little bit and almost go off the deep end. well... almost killing someone after you just freshly turned fourteen would do that to you. the feeling of wanting someone at the end of a real knife you were holding for the second time in your life, wanting to watch the life drain out of their eyes in rage. it was an intense summer trip.

❝ i... i'm sorry for worrying you, i deeply mean it. ❞ nagisa muttered, giving the other a little bow of his head as a sign of respect, he didn't mean to work him up. a civilian seeing fake weapons that looked pretty realistic would of course be the means for getting worked up. carefully, he gathers his things and stuffs them back into his bag, placing them safely sound back into their usual spots.

❝ n-no, i'm fine i promise !! i'm— haha, i must have been running way too fast. i was— well, am going to be late for class. no use in trying to rush now though. were you on the way to yours too ?? ❞

' airsoft ?! ' w-what even was airsoft ?! he knew students that played sports like lacrosse and football , but didn't airsoft involve guns ? not knives ?! where in the world was this person going , and just where the heck did they come from ?! all of these frantic excuses , it sounded like the sorts that the niwa himself would have made up to try to cover up any and every involvement to dark ...

but then --- no way , don't tell him this person was some kind of assassin ?! another criminal ?! ... n-nah , that had to be impossible ! totally impossible ! for anyone to be something like that when they looked around as young as him , wouldn't that have been absurd ?! nevermind his own age and hidden occupation as a phantom thief . a little suspicious as things were , he'd give the other the benefit of the doubt !

besides , they seemed friendly enough ! ' o-oh ... i see --- ! ' somewhat hesitantly , he does give the blade a testing bend . it's not so much as to prove the other's words as it is to sate niwa's own curiosity : after dealing with so many legitimate , sharp and whet ones assailing him , the harmlessness of a rubber knife was somewhat fascinating . ' you , um ... should be more careful . ' without toying with it anymore , he carefully puts the piece back into its owner's case .

' i mean , i don't really know anything about airsoft , but the police will really give you the stink-eye if they see you with fake weapons and stuff . especially since --- ' the great phantom thief's appearances had agitated them . ' er , well , nevermind . just be more careful , okay ? th-that aside , you're not hurt anywhere either 'cause i bumped into you , right ? sorry again , about that ... ' though , come to think of it , he really had no idea where they had been coming from .

he tried to at least act a little ashamed in the fact that he got caught going around with things that looked dangerous. he didn't... really feel bad at all, only annoyed that he got himself caught on his way to his mission. a nervous look down to the floor as he idly kicked the ground below him as he knew the kind of look he was getting from the other. nagisa... didn't understand what he was saying at all, food ?? it had to mean something else for sure and he was trying to read the tone it was said in instead.

the finger wagging in his face made him huff, trying to act again like a scolded kid that was just misunderstood. taking the airsoft gun, nagisa tucked it back into his holster for it under his belt, it perfectly fitting where it was.

❝ we go to the airsoft place in tokyo sabage park— but sometimes if it's late in the day we just get into it on the way there... sorry. ❞ a small bow he offers, hoping not to make... too much of a bad impression.

𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐈   𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄   𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒   𝐓𝐎   𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐘   𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐅   𝐀𝐍𝐃   𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓   ⸻   therefore   intimidating   to   most   on   first   impressions,   but   looks   are   deceiving.   At   the   sight   of   a   supposed   armed   weapon,   the   teen   sorcerer   wastes   no   time   to   confiscate   the   handgun.   Violets   riddle   in   bemusement   upon   emptying   out   bright   hued   bb's   from   the   magazine.

         ❛   Sujiko.   ❜   𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐝   𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐧   𝐫𝐨𝐞   (   𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒚   ):   ⸻   what   even   ?      

His   gaze   falls   back   to   the   blue-haired   stranger   offering   back   to   the   emptied   airsoft   gun.   Pale   index   wagging   in   reprimand.

         ❛   Okaka.   ❜   𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐨   𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬   (   𝒏𝒆𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆   𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒆   ):   ⸻   you   should   be   mindful   carrying   something   like   this   around.   Firearms   are   illegal   in   Japan.

Not   that   the   other   would   likely   translate   his   scolding   from   the   start,   but   the   content   of   his   tone   ought   to   convey   his   overarching   concerns.

excuse me coming to ramble about the song that plays when nagisa is killing koro sensei...

https://akaruhitranslations.blogspot.com/2017/09/tabidachi-no-uta.html - the lyrics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abyfxKvkBJQ - if you wanna listen to it too NAGISA SINGS THE WHOLE BEGINNING PART ALONE...

the wind is wiping me out and beating me down, but i'll get up ah, the way to go is now your name… i was giving up on myself you shined a light on my lonely world the way that you talked to me… i will never forget flowers, flowers, flowers, flying away our time together, is it really ending now? fulfilling our promise, i haven't forgotten it now… it's farewell time now before i start on a new path in life i'm a little confused please give me more time my song of departure

lays here... nagisa is singing about how hard the world has been to him, starting this damn class at the age of 13, and randomly getting told you have to kill this thing, this thing that they were told destroyed the moon.

your a bunch of almost drop out kids, everyone hates you, no one wants to be your friend, and your teacher was the only one nice to you... and now she's dead, and replaced with this thing ??

you try to kill yourself during an attempt, and he scolds you, telling you that you can't kill another if you don't know how to value life, especially living your own. that loving yourself is the most important thing. self worth. he gave nagisa self worth.

and now he was sitting there on his chest, a knife ready to plunge through his heart because the government started this whole thing. they forced a bunch of kids into it and tried to take it out from under their noses.

they promised to be the ones to kill their teacher, and they'd be damned after all the trauma, that they'd get it taken right from out under them. he's conflicted, hurt, sad. he didn't want any of this to happen, but it has to. he just wants more time. he wants to be with this class.

this class that made him not want to kill himself anymore, to have some self worth. to stick up to his mom forcing him to be something he wasn't, to stand up against her horrific, terrible abuse.

and now he had to kill the person that did all of that for him. anything, anything to make it last a little longer, a few more days, a few more seconds.

a small smile towards the other, he tried to play the part of a nervous kid that just squirmed and made his way through security. anxious, a bit worn out of breath, and for sure maybe the kind of kid he used to be. not a kid that has undergone months of training, snuck in and out of life or death situations. through a gang infested hotel, fidgeted a bomb off of his neck, nearly drowning about what, three times ?? sneaking into a backstage area was nothing for this kid... and out of all kids, it didn't bother nagisa.

but here he was, playing it up with his hands shaking a little bit as he looked up at the other, swallowing a bit thickly. a sheepish aura from the pigtailed boy, he never really went around with his mom nowadays since he learned how to be stealthy... assassination helped with a few things. feet dancing off roof tops, the lightest steps and movements were what set him apart from the rest of his classmates. why he never got caught.

❝ it's— for my classmate, her name is toka yada... thank you !! ❞ a small bow; things... have been hard in the classroom with their end date growing nearer and nearer. and he wanted to do something nice for one of his classmates... and he heard her, nakamura, and kanzaki talking about the band being in town. they... needed small wins like this closer and closer to the unknown end of this classroom, no clue what they were gonna have happen.

" OH - UH? HEY! " It's not that the expression whenever he meets a fan is fake, Ezreal would prefer to say that perhaps it's curated. There's a mental script that goes into an interaction, & although he loves every single interaction he gets to have - the image he puts out is so desperately important to him. Yet, when the younger kid stops him on his way into the backstage area, seeming to have snuck past any security, his eyebrows quirk. The script momentarily? Trashed.

A few thoughts seem to keep make him stumble: 1) how did this kid get past security? 2) where are his parents? 3) people this young listen to HEARTSTEEL? Not that it isn't family friendly music or anything - do they swear? Suddenly he can't remember the lyrics? Ezreal's mouth is agape for a second longer, fingers coming up to adjust his glasses, no words processed to speak. In spite of the confusion, one thought remains rather clear: the boys would find this entire situation hilarious, probably.

Back to reality he comes, once Ezreal's eyes trail down to the other's hands & the album that trembles, excitedly, within the grip. He beams, then, leaning down a bit more to speak openly. Who was he to deny an autograph, anyway?

" Alright, who am I making this out to? " It's customary to carry a little marker with him - they all do, their entire aesthetic motif is to scribble on things. It also makes signing things for their adoring fans that much easier, go figure. He slips it from where it's tucked above his ear, putting the cap in his mouth & pulling the marker tip out.

He bends slightly, waiting for the boy to hold the album out.

@assassincraft / ♥'d.

❝ it wasn't... over mistakes. ❞ he butt in to the other speaking to him, not wanting him to get the wrong idea of this whole thing. ❝ if... i make a mistake, i expect to get reprimanded, drilled, and taught how to do it better. but, he faulted us just for being overworked. and it was only our first few months of training. ❞ noting that, a military general... expecting a bunch of thirteen to fourteen year old kids, in the middle of the summer, with no air conditioning to be able to keep up with training like this out of the blue.

they weren't machines like these people... yet, no, no, some of them would get there for sure, and it was all sitting under their skin. nagisa had already shown what he was capable of, what bloodlust sat under, seeping out and suffocating his targets. even karasuma was confident in nagisa, hence why he chose him to go against takaoka at all... he used the sweet innocent assumption of himself to take others for granted.

❝ some of my classmates were so tired they couldn't stand anymore, expected us to be there from nine am, to nine pm, as if our parents wouldn't get suspicious, like it wasn't supposed to be a secret. ❞ a grumble let out, before he gripped on his knife, spinning it between the fingers of his one hand idly... he was aware of his weapon. he was in control of his weapon. he was confident.

❝ we just... want someone that sees that were still kids, but we're trying, just... jeez, doesn't expect us to suddenly be machines. we have a few months to do what you guys have learned in lifetimes. ❞ he stopped idly playing with the knife, now bending the rubber blade a little bit, looking at the writing on the side.

he always wondered if he still had it in him, that spark ⸻ the patience to have something aligned with that of a protégé. it's what guides him to the other, becoming a mere observer. he studies what he is presented with, looking down, a slight tilt to his head as forest hues peer from the shadows his mask casts,　❝ do i look like someone who would treat you unfairly? ❞　a question that he does not expect an answer to, but he wouldn't be opposed to honesty ⸻ or perhaps a white lie. out of fear, perhaps? his stare is cold, those dull eyes of his simply peer as if looking for a deeper meaning that is etched in the skin of nagisa, whatever glimmer he had left in his eyes. gaze flickers from his face to the knife. how strange, he thinks, but it is nothing unusual knowing the many histories of those who worked within his shadows.

❝ what a silly thing it is, to hurt someone over a mistake. ❞　he huffs, arms folded over chest, the narrowing of his gaze clear when his brows knit 'neath the façade. his voice doesn't waver, a soft rumble as he finally sighs, a shrug,　❝ my methods are different, pain doesn't have to be your teacher. ❞

to be an assassin... those words that karasuma spoke to them sat so heavily on his chest, what did it mean to take someone's life. did they really have the guts to take a life from someone... he almost himself, nearly gave in to his rage and killed takaoka in a bloodlust fit. nagisa had it in him if anyone did, and almost fell victim to his own clouded mindset of pure fury. the anger bubbling beneath the skin of such and unsuspecting young kid... a kid that knows what it means to be expendable, to be a pawn in a game that others are using to cover up their mistakes.

❝ do you like... ever wonder why i actually had that knife when we first met ?? ❞ he sputtered out finally, nagisa's home life... seemed tidy, neat, like he had everything a kid could have wanted. game systems, computer, a full fridge, his own personal space... a normal, japanese household. why would a middle school kid, have any need for weapons on his body... real or fake ?? nagisa was one of the only few, (other than chiba and haiyami) to hold real weapons, they held real guns, and he held a real knife.

❝ you have to promise, that you're not gonna like... tell anyone. i'm kinda gonna be breaking a government nda i signed by telling you. i know... that sounds crazy, but if anyone finds out i'm telling you this, i'm kind of kicked out of my class i'm in, and both of us get our memories wiped. ❞ a deep breath.

❝ this is between us— okay, byan ?? ❞ he didn't... want to go missing one day and the other to just think that he up and ghosted them. especially after the reaper kidnapping them (pretty much) and putting bombs on their necks ?? one click and they all could have been done for. you can tell he was nervous... fingers squishing the packaged snack he had yet to unwrap... the pancake and bean paste flattening.

ㅤgaze fixed on the tv, a half-eaten dorayaki in their hands, byan was at ease. it still felt weird, being at nagisa's house — with how rare it was to be here, being unwelcome any time his mother wasn't away on a business trip, there was always this feeling of not belonging hanging over them. it was something they felt whenever they were in such a normal, tidy home, but being invited to this one so infrequently certainly intensified it. it was nothing a few good snacks and a bit of joking around with their friend couldn't distract them from though, allowing for them to feel quite content in this moment.

ㅤ—until nagisa changed up the entire vibe of the living room with one question, anyway.

ㅤㅤ" ...huh? "ㅤmouth still full, byan paused mid-chew to pull their attention away from the television and glance over. that was an awfully cryptic question. it was the sort of thing they wouldn't think much of normally, always interested in crazy stories and not terribly easy to shock with such things, but the way he asked it... he sounded so serious. like this was something heavy that had been weighing on him for a while.

ㅤㅤ" i dunno. "ㅤanswer muffled by the food in their mouth, they paused again in order to swallow, then proceeded to shrug in a manner far too casual for the intense atmosphere the other had created.ㅤ" depends what it is, but prob'ly. i've seen some crazy shit, been through stuff a lotta people wouldn't believe, so. if anyone's gonna believe you, it's prob'ly me. "