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ask-the-young-sorceress · 10 years

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Sorceress did her best to pretend the adults' conversation wasn't embarrassing at all, but she was soon rolling her eyes and groaning. Did they really need to yell like that? Honestly, it was ridiculous. And in front of Ralphie, too. As she picked at the food on her plate she watched the young wrecker. Judging from his body language he didn't feel much better. At this rate she'd never get to give him her present. They had to get out of here, and fast.

While Satine and Vanellope were still conversing in shouts, Sorceress lowered her plate to the floor. Charlotte scuttled over the instant the plate touched the ground and consumed everything on it except the bones. Then Sorceress sent the giant spider to Ralphie and signaled for him to give her his plate. Once Charlotte had finished off his leftovers, Sorceress raised her hand to get Satine's attention.

"Ralphie and I are done," she said innocently. "May we please be excused?"

Satine paused in his loud conversation and glanced at both Sorceress' and Ralphie's plates. Seeing that they were both completely empty save for a few buzzard bones, he nodded his horned head in approval.

That was exactly what Sorceress was hoping for. But just as she was getting up from her chair Satine spoke.

"Where are you going?"

Oops. She hadn't thought of an excuse yet. "Um... To the bathroom."

"And you're taking the boy with you?"

"I'm showing him the way. It's a big castle. He'll get lost if he goes by himself." She finished with the most innocent smile she could manage.

Satine eyed her skeptically. After a moment suspenseful silence he nodded again. "Very well. Carry on."

With that, Sorceress motioned for Ralphie to join her as she exited the dining room. Once they were in the corridor and she was sure the grown-ups couldn't see, she snatched Ralphie by one big hand and pulled him behind the wall with her.

"Shhh," she whispered, raising a small finger to her lips. "I'm gonna take you to the Christmas tree so I can give you your present. The last thing we need is for the adults to bother us about it. So keep quiet and come with me."

Not waiting for an answer, Sorceress pulled him along with her through the corridors until they came to the room where the Christmas tree was. It was an impressively tall pine decorated with colored lights and decidedly macabre ornaments such as bird skulls and shrunken heads. Releasing her friend at last, Sorceress swept up to the tree and scooped up the large, lumpy package in her arms. It was still shedding glitter on the floor as she handed it to him, grinning from ear to ear.

"Here you go, Ralphie! I hope you like it! Hurry, hurry, open it!"

A Fashion Nightmare Before Christmas

#sorry i missed this

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 10 years

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Sorceress' expression of shock quickly gave way to confusion. Ralphie was acting pretty weird about this whole present-giving thing. In all honesty she hadn't really been expecting him to bring her a present, not even when Satine brought it up. She'd been so busy with her present for Ralphie that the idea of him giving her something never crossed her mind. Not that she'd mind a present from him, of course.

In any case, she was the hostess here and this was an awkward situation, so it was up to her to take charge and steer things back on track. Clearing her throat, she straightened up and folded her hands neatly, looking as dignified and grownup as possible.

"Thank you, Ralphie," she said, smiling sweetly at the young wrecker in a way that she hoped would calm him down. "Whatever your surprise is, I'm sure it's wonderful."

Standing beside her, Satine narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the large, scruffy boy. Of course he didn't buy a word of Ralphie's story. He was a senior Bad Guy and the video game equivalent of evil incarnate. He could smell a lie from a mile away, and this one was a whopper. Then he smirked in an appropriately smug, devilish way. "Oh, yes, Mr. Ralphie. I'm sure we'll all be thoroughly impressed to see what your big surprise could be."

Sorceress shot a warning glare at the demon. Even though Satine was her unofficial mentor and many years older than her, she was the official main Bad Guy of this game. She was he boss here, not him, and she wouldn't tolerate him taunting her friends in her presence.

"We can discuss that later," she said firmly. "Dinner's getting cold."

A Fashion Nightmare Before Christmas

Ralphie could feel the sweat flying from his brow. He was dead. Dead dead dead. He had no means of getting Sorceress a present while stuck inside this den of doom with the Dooming Uncle from the Third Doomed Dimension. He had to think of something fast, or else Sorceress would think he was the biggest loser on the face of the World Wide Web if he didn’t come up with some kind of plan right then and there.

So, true to Ralphie’s bad guy nature, he resorted to the only means of saving face he could.

He lied.

"Uhhhhhh— o-of course! Of course I’ve got a present for Sorceress!"

V turned to Ralphie, eyes wide in alarm. Ralphie had been worrying over the thought of getting Essie a present since the end of November. Nothing but 'it has to be special's and 'i don't know what to get her's and 'it can't be just a normal present's all month. Since when did he actually have her present?

"I’ve had the perfect present in mind for her since earlier this month!" Ralphie laughed nervously, almost forcefully. He was praying his nervous blushing wasn’t giving him away. "I-I’m sure it’ll be the best Christmas present she’s ever gotten from anyone. Ever!"

There was a pause. All three of the others were staring at Ralphie with expressions that ranged from shocked [Essie], to disbelieving [Satine], to just plain disappointed [V].

"So, where is it then?" said V. Ralphie shot her a pleading stare, but she only folded her arms and gave him a reproachful glare. She was not going to help him lie to his not-quite-girlfriend. "Well?"

Ralphie paused. Maybe for a little too long.

“…It’s a surprise," he managed lamely.

#oh ralphie you adorable lying dork

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 10 years

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"Please come in, fine guests. We’ve been expecting you." Satine nodded his horned head at the odd pair, opting to make his fangs less visible with a less toothy grin. While he was certainly skeptical of Ralphie, he didn’t want to terrify the boy too badly. Not yet, at least.

As Satine led Ralphie and V inside the castle, Sorceress came bobbing out of the living room in her twinkly sweater. At the sight of her friends Sorceress’ eyes lit up as bright as the lights on the knitted Christmas tree she was wearing.

"Hi, Ralphie! Hi, Miss V!" She descended to the floor and offered a polite, friendly curtsy to them both. Then she turned back to call into the living room. "Charlotte, don’t be shy! Come out and show everyone how pretty you look!"

After a moment, the giant spider came lumbering out into the hall wearing a huge red bow around her neck. Looking as humiliated as a giant spider possibly could, she stared at the two humans with her eight glassy eyes as if silently begging them to put her out of her misery.

"I’m so glad you guys could make it," Sorceress went on, seemingly oblivious to her hideous pet’s embarrassment. "Uncle Satine made dinner, and there’s hot chocolate and presents afterward."

"Speaking of presents," Satine chimed in. "Where is yours, young man?” He used the end of his pitchfork to point at Ralphie’s conspicuously empty giant hands. “Have you hidden it with some spell of concealment, or did you simply forget?”

"With a long-suffering sigh, Sorceress tugged on the demon lord’s cape. "Satiiiine, you promised me you’d be nice to him."

"I am being nice," he said virtuously. "I haven’t skewered or roasted him yet, have I?"

She folded her arms and pouted up at him disapprovingly. “You said you wouldn’t scare him, either.”

A Fashion Nightmare Before Christmas

At the sound of the familiar booming voice, Ralphie nearly jumped out of his skin and hid behind V. A rather pointless endeavor really, considering his wide girth made it look like a bear trying to hide behind a telephone pole. V patted his head and laughed all the same.

"Heya Satine! Sorry we’re so late, had a little bit of clean-up trouble with some motor Molasses."

Holding her helmet under her arm, she made a polite bow, giving a pass on the curtsying. Whether she was wearing a dress or not, by-the-book formal pleasantries weren’t her thing.

"May we enter, or exalted twinkly-horned one?"

After a bit of silence, V nudged Ralphie. He balked.

"U-uhh, right—!"

Ralphie, remembering that Satine was only Enchantress’s caregiver and not much of a threat— really, he was only scarey to look at— followed V’s example and bowed too, though not before quickly peaking inside for any sign of Sorceress. He hoped she’d show up soon. As much as he would have liked to trust him, Ralhpie felt like Mr. Satine didn’t think too highly of him.

Essie had said he was nice, and Ralphie was sure that he was a cool guy for someone who ruled over legions of the undead, but he couldn’t help but feel like Satine was always looking him over, as if to study him. What he was studying Ralphie for, the little wrecker had no clue, but he had a sinking feeling it had something to do with him being friends with Essie.

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 10 years

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The next thing Sorceress needed to do was pick a Christmas sweater to wear. She had a wide assortment of them spread out on her four poster bed in various colors and patterns, and most of them had some magical effect to them. After much careful deliberation, she finally settled on one bearing the image of a Christmas tree with lights that really twinkled. She was especially proud of that one. Getting all that magic knitted into the wool wasn’t easy.

Then it was time to dress Charlotte. Sorceress had actually knitted an eight-sleeved sweater for her once, but the giant spider failed to appreciate her little mistress’ handiwork and was more interested in tearing them to shreds than wearing them. So in order to save them both a lot of trouble, Sorceress had to be satisfied with simply tying a big bow around Charlotte’s neck. The tricky part was getting her to hold still long enough.

"Stop moving, Charlotte!" Sorceress scolded, struggling to tie the bow while the giant spider screeched and wriggled in protest. "This is a special occasion! You have to look your best!"

That was when the familiar resounding BONG BONG of the castle doorbell echoed from downstairs.

Sorceress gasped. “It’s Ralphie! He’s here!” Charlotte tried again to squirm away, but her mistress was more determined than ever to get the bow tied. As she pulled herself up on the spider’s back, Sorceress yelled over her shoulder. “Can you get the door, Uncle Satine? My hands are full!”

"Right away, dear." Satine stepped out of the kitchen, looking very imposing with his dramatic cape and jagged pitchfork. The most festive thing he had to wear was two strings of lights twisted around his big horns. Striding purposefully toward the castle entrance, he tapped the end of his pitchfork twice against the stone floor. The heavy double doors swung open in response, and the big red demon bared his fangs in a grin. "Welcome, foolish mortals!"

Sorceress rolled her eyes. Satine could be such a ham sometimes.

A Fashion Nightmare Before Christmas

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 10 years

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By the time Sorceress was done showering her gift for Ralphie with glitter, she and everyone else in the room were all covered in a thin layer of rainbow colored dust. Charlotte was rubbing her hairy body on the rug to get the glitter off. Satine was just grateful he was wearing an apron to keep too much of the stuff from getting all over his clothes. Sorceress, meanwhile, was momentarily oblivious to the sparkly substance in her hair and on her dress, tapping her chin and pouting thoughtfully as she studied the present.

"That should be enough," she said at last. She lifted the big package over her head and twirled giddily above the floor, sending a new flurry of glitter spinning around the room. "Eeee! I can't wait to give this to Ralphie! He'll be so happy!"

Satine shielded his face with one hand to prevent any glitter from flying into his eyes. "Yes, dear, I'm sure he will." He paused to spit out a few sparkles that had somehow gotten in his teeth. "Now why don't we tidy up in here? There's not much time left before your friend arrives."

Sorceress gasped and stopped twirling a few inches away from the ceiling. "Oh my gosh! Is it that late already??" She swooped down to the floor and put the package on Charlotte's back. "Take this to the living room, girl! And do not eat it!"

The giant spider chirped obediently and scuttled out, shedding a colorful trail of glitter behind her. Then Sorceress waved her hand at the mess of gift wrapping supplies scattered on the floor. Paper, ribbons, tape and glue sticks rose up and gathered themselves neatly in the center of the room. Then she pointed at a trunk in the corner. The lid snapped open by itself, and all the floating items filed into it one after the other.

As he shook a small cloud of glitter off his apron, Satine watched his young protege work all this magic with no small amount of pride. "Someone's been practicing her spells lately," he said, patting her head fondly.

Sorceress pouted and rubbed at her hair. "I always practice my spells! And can you not do that when Ralphie's here? I'm not a little kid!"

Satine chuckled and raised both clawed hands in surrender. "Yes, yes, of course, dear."

A Fashion Nightmare Before Christmas

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 10 years

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Meanwhile in Blood & Thunder, Jr, Sorceress was in the castle, sitting on the stone floor surrounded by colorful ribbons and paper. She was trying to wrap a fairly large package and didn't have quite enough paper to cover it with, so she was taping pieces of mismatched wrapping to hide the bits that were still showing.

"I think it's done," she said to the giant spider huddled on the floor beside her. "Can you bring me the green ribbon, Charlotte?"

Charlotte made an obedient chirping in reply and did as she was told. As Sorceress tried to stretch the ribbon around the package, there was a knock at the door and a tall, red demon wearing an apron poked his horned head into the room.

"The hot chocolate is almost ready, Sorceress," the demon said with a subtle British accent. "Do you need any help in here?"

"No, thanks, Uncle Satine," Sorceress replied, even though she was obviously having trouble tying the ribbon around the big package. Her arms weren't quite long enough to get all the way around it. "Mmf... Uh, actually, can you take this end here?"

Satine smiled down at her and crouched on the floor to take one end of the ribbon in his clawed fingers. "Is this the gift you made for your friend Ralphie?"

Sorceress nodded and twisted her end of the ribbon around his. "Yep. I hope he likes it. It took a long time for me to make."

"I'm sure he will," Satine said. He grinned, showing two rows of long, sharp teeth. "And if he doesn't, he'll have to deal with me."

Sorceress pouted up at him. "Don't you dare! You're not allowed to scare my friends away!"

Satine chuckled and tied both ends of the ribbon around the package. "Not to worry, dear. I'll be on my best behavior."

"Good." She looked at the finished package thoughtfully. "It still needs something... I know! Glitter! Lots of glitter!"

Before Satine could stop her, Sorceress had gathered multiple jars of the sparkly stuff.

"Come ON V! You said we’d leave half an hour ago!"

"Give me a minute Short Cake! Do you have any idea how long it takes to wash Motor Molasses outta your hair?!" Vanellope poked her head out of the small, ramshackle one-person bathroom, hair dripping with water, suds, and traces of the oily…

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 10 years

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"Oh, Ralphie. What are we gonna do with you?"

"Erm… Ralph? Next time you go fishing, try using a lure instead of jumping in, huh?"

"Bljkfhlkdsfh."

Hooray I finally found time to finish this! There’s lots of stuff wrong with this but I’ll go back and fix it another day.

#upperstories #not my art

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 10 years

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"Trick or treat!" A young wrecker popped out from behind a tombstone, wrapped up in toilet paper and bandages as quite possibly the silliest mummy the little sorceress had ever seen. He smiled and waved Essie over, ready for his first fun Halloween out with her and the other bad guys. Zangief was dressed as a werewolf, Clyde a clown (just a wig and ball nose), and Zombie as a bed sheet ghost (with the five eye holes). "You ready to go Essie?" said Ralphie, offering a heavily bandaged hand.

Sorceress giggled at the sight of her friends and their funny costumes. Floating across the graveyard, she straightened her pointy black witch hat. She even had a broomstick to complete the ensemble, not that she really needed it to fly with. "Nice outfits, guys!" she said, touching down lightly and smoothing her black dress. Then she took Ralphie's hand and waved her broomstick in the air. “I am so ready!" she cheered. "Free candy, here we come!"

#upperstories

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 11 years

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KERA Magazine - September 2013 issue

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 11 years

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"Making up a song about Coraline. She’s a peach, she’s a doll, she’s a pall of mine. She’s as cute as a button in the eyes of everyone who ever laid their eyes on Coraline. When she comes around exploring, Mom and I will never ever make it boring. Our eyes will be on Coraline.”

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 11 years

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 11 years

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 11 years

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 11 years

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"Making up a song about Coraline. She’s a peach, she’s a doll, she’s a pal of mine. She’s as cute as a button in the eyes of everyone who ever laid their eyes on Coraline. When she comes around exploring, Mom and I will never ever make it boring. Our eyes will be on Coraline.”

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ask-the-young-sorceress · 11 years

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