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ask-kos · 2 years

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12-D2-7046

well. we got in a fight. sort of.. i got mad and i... i yelled. then i sort of..

bon was telling me how naive i am. and he’s right.. i mean.. just look at my earlier entries. well he said that and then he said it was a good thing and that he’d.. ensure my safety? i think that’s what he said. it was a couple nights ago. i haven’t been able to think about much else since but i was so frazzled i can’t remember exactly what happened. i certainly cant remember what i said. i just got so.. embarrassed. it is my fault for sort of.. making up the whole romance narrative.. but now it’s like! when someone makes a VOW to protect you?? that’s like! textbook romance novel!!! i dont know what to do with myself!

i doubt i’m making much sense, but it really was.. it was a lot. i wish i could talk to bon about.. why he was sort of.. making fun of me in the first place? because he seemed to backtrack like.. immediately after i got angry. well, more like after i.. started... i guess it was a bit of a panic attack. i haven’t had one in a long time, but.

ALCHEMY i dont know how to feel! i feel like.. i feel like i should be mad at him but i cant be! for one, he wasn’t wrong.. and two, he seemed to feel really bad afterwards.. i wasn’t making any noises but he was crying when i- uh- we hugged afterwards. he was saying he doesn’t get to make choices but that he wants to make this one, to protect me, and what am i supposed to think! what am i supposed to do.. and what does that even mean!! who controls a mercenary!!!

i’m so confused. i’m- i’m happy. happy with him. and i’m not mad.. i’m.. strangely happy. to hear a guy like him saying he wants to devote his time to protecting you is... it’s... it makes you feel like you’re in a romance novel i guess haha..

i wish you were here. you’d know what to say about all this. i wish you could meet him. i think you’d like him. i think he needs people to like him.

#kings of sorts #kos ep 3 #hana blogs

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ask-kos · 2 years

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21-D1-7046

WE FOUND A WATER FILTRATION FACILITY!! it took a while (much to bon’s annoyance.. sorry bon) but we got it working! i even got bon to turn it on!! i think he really got a kick out of it >:)

after that we spent a real nice night just.. sitting there on top of one of the cisterns. it’s nice just sitting around with him. i hope he enjoyed it too.

#kings of sorts #kos ep 3 #hana blogs

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ask-kos · 2 years

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13-D1-7046

I’M BACK it’s been an exhausting couple of days, bon has really been driving a hard pace -_- weird thing is i’ve been tracking with the GPS and we’re kind of zigzagging all over the place? maybe the GPS is off. bon has been becoming more stressed though.. or at least it seems like it.

speaking of bon, i haven’t really told you about him! he’s real... mysterious.. what with the no name, won’t really talk about who he works for or what he does.. i thought he was an adventurer but he laughed at me and told me that adventurer isn’t a real job. he did tell me he was closest to a mercenary, which is kind of scary. does that mean he’s murdered? i hope not.

there’s also the lava magic he doesn’t like to talk about. it’s really cool! i haven’t read about anything quite like that. i’d LIKE to know more but... asking about it is one quick way to get him to stop talking to you :/ he’s really insightful when you can get him to open up, and he can be really! though his sense of humor is pretty dry.

he’s real broody a lot of the time, but when he smiles, it’s like... WOW.. i dont know!! it’s like in the romance novels you recommended, he smiles at you and it feels like... like you’re something special. maybe i’ve been alone too long.. or maybe.. he’s lonely like me too

either way i hope.. i hope we can keep traveling together for a while. a long while.

#kings of sorts #kos ep 3 #hana blogs

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ask-kos · 2 years

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11-D1-7046

finally! something for my non-depressing diary folder

so, i met this guy named bon. well, he’s named bon now, i guess he didn’t have a name before? or he did and then he didn’t.... either way he’s letting me call him bon. (or bonic, it means cute but don’t tell him hehehe)

i guess more importantly than that, i’m kind of on the run? i guess there’s some castle that wants me cause apparently no one can get in the mountain except me. or no one has tried? it’s not very hard. but i guess tech is illegal. maybe that’s why.

ANYWAYS there was a notice put out from the Cadian king to bring me to the capital. i didn’t think the townspeople would go for it, i mean, i do a lot of work for them, even if they don’t like me but......... i guess they don’t like me more than they do like the work i’ve done :( maybe i’ll have to learn more skills so this doesn’t happen next time. wherever i move next...

i’ve been living in the mountain so long it was weird seeing it from a distance. just like the astro demo room, it makes all your problems seem.. really small. all those days agonizing over what these people thought of me, how i came off to them, worrying that they’d accept me.. they were my whole world for a long time. and now... i cant even see them. cant even make out their houses. it’s strange. hope they won’t catch flack for me... disappearing.

speaking of, i showed bon the astro demo room, and he

well he’s yelling at me now to go to sleep so i guess i’ll pick back up on this later. bye!!

#hana blogs #kos ep 3 #kings of sorts

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ask-kos · 2 years

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