ashtoninvestigates
Private Investigator Philip Ashton
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!!Philip Ashton followers please read carefully!!
Thursday, March 30th, Philip Ashton was found dead at his sister's house. The cause of his death is not yet known.
Please be respectful, and don't harass his family, wait for the police and for them to make a public statement.
We don't know if this blog is going to stay online, but for now, please don't change anything to the state it was in.
A mourning fan.
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The day I fought an alien
Hey guys, Philip here. A lot happened today. Since the alien seemed to know where I live, I must say I got a little scared. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who followed someone.
I was determined to go and confront him face to face.
At first, it seemed to be friendlier than I expected. We (tried to) exchange(d) a few words, and I started questioning it about what it was doing here. After all, if I really was the only one who noticed its strange behaviour, I also wanted to be the one to bring the news to the world. I've always believed that I was destined for something bigger...
But after I captured the video that you see below, it became aggressive. I don't wan't to worry you, dear follower and fan, but I had to fight, and to run away.
You can see a picture below of the teeth it lost during our fight. Of course, I don't encourage violence. But sometimes, in the profession that I do, it is inevitable.
I won't show you a picture of what I look like after the fight, but I can tell you that my theory of the multiple hands is true.
To be perfectly honest with you, I am safe now (except for my bodily integrity), but I'm scared of going home, to a place the alien knows it can find me at. I will hide at my sister's place for now. Will keep you updated.
Best,
Philip
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Scared as heck
Hey guys, Philip here. I woke up today feeling very good about myself. Why wouldn't I ? I'm so close to turning my career around !
But then, this happened...
I went to my mailbox as per usual, eager to get some Tesco coupons in the mail. But something else was waiting for me. I won't post the letter I got here, because it was frightened myself, but feel free to DM me to get a picture.
best,
Philip
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Blackmailing the alien
Hey guys, Philip here. It seems like the alien is a pretty passive being. I figured, it is probably so afraid of getting its true identity revealed, it won't do anything even if I become hostile.
I've decide to not confront it right away. After all, these aren't my ways. Not that I'm afraid or anything. BUT I have written a letter for it. See for yourself. I am now going home and getting some rest. Will continue my investigation tomorrow!
Best,
*ecstatic Philip*
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Where does the alien live ?
Hey guys, Philip here. My goal for today was to find out where the alien lives. Ambitious, I know. Scary ? Perhaps.
I was surprised it didn't hide from me or disappeared. I think maybe the alien finally learned to adjust its behaviour to human culture. Turns out, it lives in a pretty normal house.
Best,
Philip
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Research sketch
Hey guys, Philip here. Here is a quick sketch I made of what a normal human looks like, and what I think our specimen looks like under its pretend clothes... From what I gathered, it must have several mouths, hands, feet, and so on... and all of that must be very heavy.
It probably also has a bigger brain than us, although it doesn't show hehe.
I feel like so far, I have done an amazing job at following it quietly. I have been hiding to take my pictures, and left at least 500 meters between us when I was walking behind it.
Best,
Philip
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Understanding the alien
Hey guys, Philip here! Here are some conclusions and interrogations I have about our new case study, the alien.
I couldn't figure out how to take a video on my phone, so I sadly don't have one, but from my observations, I concluded that the alien is giving itself away in the way that it walks.
It walks as if its body was very hard to carry, its head looking at the ground, its arms nonchalantly and aimlessly swinging from its body, and dragging its feet. From the perspective of a normal bystander, it just looks like a flaccid and exhausted neighbor.
In that moment, watching it, I almost felt bad.
Best,
Philip
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Following "it" around
Hey guys. Okay. Day 2. I had to give up on following it around yesterday, because it quite literally disappeared ? I was walking in an empty street, being very discreet of course, and suddenly.. poof! It was gone!
But today, I'm focused, I'm centered, etc.. And I won't leave until I have a decent picture.
This is what I could capture today.
Best,
Philip
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Tesco run
By the way, the Tesco meal deal now costs 3,40 pounds with a club card ?? This country is going to shit.
Here is what I got, minus my crisps and my juice. I was hungry.
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Weird eating habits.
Hey guys!! Today was my first day of doing some active following around. I spent some time researching extraterrestrial beings for elements to look out for, but I felt like I don't even need this. Most likely, the alien would stand out like a sore thumb........ And I was right!
Look at this idiot in Tesco. Hello ?? No human needs that much oil ???
Best,
Philip
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Update
Hey guys! I know you've been dying for an update and I didn't want to make you wait... here it is!!!!
I've decided to get fully involved in this investigation. Long story short, we have an alien on the loose !!!!!
And I intend to get to the bottom of this.. Here is the mask I'm going to be wearing to follow them around. I've been making costumes for my cases for a few years, so you could say I'm pretty much an expert at it now.
Please be discreet in the comments and with your reposts, we don't know how evolved this being might be.
Best,
Philip
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Important news
Hey guys ! Remember when I was complaining about not having anything to investigate (I'm sure you do, it's only my second post here)?
Well, a follower sent me a hunch about some fishy stuff happening in my neighborhood... And it has to do with aliens, my favorite topic ! Only an investigator as talented as me could confront A NEW SPECIE !
I will keep you posted on how I intend to lead this investigation... see you soon
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Very serious business.
Hey guys! Philip here. As you know, the private investigation market hasn't been doing so great, and although I have done my best to reach as many people as possible, I seems that no one really requires my services anymore :((
Anyway, I figured I might as well go all out and order some business cards and keychains!! This way people will remember me when they need someone to follow their cheating husband around, we all know someone who's in that situation!
I was advised by my niece to start some kind of online blog, apparently "internet is where it's at" haha
I must say, I yearn for some real action. Will keep you updated !!
Best,
Philip
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