"If I had only met awful asexual people I would still be grateful, because I am endlessly thankful for every member of this community. The paths they have forged, whether perfect or human, mean everything to me. I would not exclude a single one." is really so beautifully written.

I love your Tumblr, but I've always been curious about your thoughts on this new trend of asexuals that are neither trans or attracted to the same sex romantically demanding inclusion in LGBT spaces.

Asexual people are not a “new trend”. And it is sort of ironic that you use that language to describe them since it has been used to describe every letter in the acronym constantly, and that stigma is one this project was created to fight. 

The idea that somehow asexual people don’t belong or deserve to be respected because the identity is seen as a “trend” alone gives them enough in common with the rest of the community for me to believe that they deserve to be a part of the queer movement. 

But to pretend that asexual people have not been a part of our community ever before is ahistorical (see article above) and honestly, a tired and boring argument that has been debunked so many times I am almost bored of it. 

So if after all that you still are unsure of our stance on inclusion within the queer community try reading our articles and it may help clear that up for you.

Koisenu Futari episode 1 of 8 (2022) 5

I love you relationship anarchy I love you polyamory I love you queerplatonic relationships I love you unlabeled relationships I love you deep platonic relationships that define themselves I love you deep romantic relationships that define themselves I love you any relationship that defines itself I love you people who love completely and comfortably I love you people learning how to love however comfortable for them I love people I love love

There really does come a point when you've been aromantic long enough that you no longer wish you weren't. You will learn to navigate amatanormative society, and you'll carve a little piece out of it where you can be happy. The happiness you find might look different than the average alloro person's, but that's okay. It won't be theirs, it'll be yours. And it's worth the struggle and uncertainty getting there. I promise 🌱🌻

having a quiet life is so.. underrated. i don’t mean it in the sense that people who’re open and loud and busy aren’t important, but when our culture has significantly put so much emphasis on the definition of success as fame, extraordinary accomplishments, greatness and importance and excessive wealth, i think there is so much power to be found in our own anonymity. in the silence of life. in not being constantly perceived, analyzed and performing for the world. in being able to take a walk, smile at strangers and just notice the world without all that noise. taking the biggest pleasure out of the smallest joys, like a cup of coffee or blowing out birthday candles. knowing that our lives don’t have to be a grand spectacle for others in order to have worth and cause a good impact.

Anne Sexton, from “The Love Plant”, The Complete Poems

Sleeping Beauty (2011) dir. Julia Leigh

Sleeping Beauty, Serge Marshennikov, oil on canvas

this weeks ¡hola papi! ... a real zinger

To name the world as gift is to feel one’s membership in the web of reciprocity. It makes you happy—and it makes you accountable. Conceiving of something as a gift changes your relationship to it in a profound way, even though the physical makeup of the “thing” has not changed. A woolly knit hat that you purchase at the store will keep you warm regardless of its origin, but if it was hand knit by your favorite auntie, then you are in relationship to that “thing” in a very different way: you are responsible for it, and your gratitude has motive force in the world. You’re likely to take much better care of the gift hat than the commodity hat, because it is knit of relationships. This is the power of gift thinking. I imagine if we acknowledged that everything we consume is the gift of Mother Earth, we would take better care of what we are given. Mistreating a gift has emotional and ethical gravity as well as ecological resonance.

robin wall kimmerer, the serviceberry, for emergence magazine xxx

Identifying as aromantic is freeing. It was such a relief to realize that I wasn’t the only one who found romance weird and off putting, that I didn’t have to date, that I wouldn’t one day be forced to “grow out” of my disinterest in relationships. Aromanticism is permission to enjoy my life as I want. The aromantic community gave me words to describe my feelings and desires, and people to connect with.

Similarly, identifying as loveless has also been freeing. It reassures alloromantic people to hear “oh, I’m aromantic, but that’s ok, I can still love platonically!” as if aromanticism is something that needs to be compensated for. Saying that I’m loveless lets me be unapologetically aro. It allows me to find happiness and fulfillment without making my life revolve around a single feeling.

Aromantic and loveless both lift weights off my shoulders, they are both words that tell me that my existence has a value in and of itself, and this value doesn’t depend on anyone else but me.

"i was born to love" well good for you i was born to eat lots of fucking cheese

Are there any other aspecs out there that are kind of afraid of “losing” this identity? Every time I read anything about ppl who used to identify as ace/aro, I get these stupid thoughts of how this might be a “phase” and how I’ll be a “normal” allosexual one day. As stupid as it sounds, it scares me

Yeah, I definitely understand the feeling, and I've heard this from a lot other aces and aros. The way I tend to think about it is this though: first of all, most people I've seen stop using ace/aro as a label have had a positive experience doing so. While it may be scary, usually ace/aro wasn't working for them or feeling right for them, and now they are moving to the labels that suit them better.

Second, I think we tend to look at his happening the way we are now, as people who these labels fit well and they're useful/helpful to us, so the idea of losing them is scary. But I know if I'm ever in a position where I do want to change my labels, it will be because I'm not feeling this way.

Which means feeling this way can also be a sign we've picked the right labels and we're in a good place in that sense right now.

I'll throw this out to followers too, does anyone else feel this way sometimes? Anyone else have any thoughts/opinions they want to share?

shoutout to aros and aces and aro aces this june btw

If you feel a certain type of attraction to any extent but you feel/decide it's not an important aspect of yourself that's completely okay and pretty cool of you actually!