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artisticdysfunction · 1 hour

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My hot take is similar to the the other anon: Origin doesn't matter. Experience matters. Trying to understand why our brains work the way they work and living life as peacefully and functionally and contentedly as possible matters. When I was very young, before the internet and plurality, and trying to understand myself and quirks, what mattered was how to keep living. What hurt was when I found the communities and started using that language because Finally! Someone! Understands! to eventually get torn down by both sides because I was telling my experiences and it didn't fit in either box.... That hurt the most. One box or the other, whichever I tried in later decades... the boxes made matters worse.

I understand why both sides are so passionate, but by golly are they destructive. Destructive to minors. Destructive to not minors who Don't Know. Destructive to those trying to discover. Destructive to those who thought X when Y was true but only had X vocabulary when venturing to the other side, only to get harrassed. Because so many refuse to acknowledge nuance or a variety of experiences.

I watched a whole Discord group gang jump someone here on Tumblr once. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to tell that person. But I suspect they know. I suspect they get it a lot. Just because they're willing to (rather kindly, calmly, and matter of factly) give a different view.

There are a few people on both sides of the issue now that I'm older, more solid, and have spent some decades digesting the community who I like and trust. Agree with? Not always. I like the people who are able to point to the history the best. The ones who either have either been around long enough to remember or the ones willing to acknowledge how the community has evolved over the years.

My hottest take is that the ones who have only been around a couple of years are often the most destructive. They can't handle the nuance yet. And I don't trust them even with their sources because of their delivery. Not ALL. Not all on either side. But generally. My hottest take is that we shouldn't be bitterly fighting one another. We should be learning how to best live. All of us.

Time tells all. Do I fit? Not in the round peg or the square. I'm a wobbly piece that goes no where. But do I fit? Yes. And so do the others floating by that have been around for some time. And maybe some of the newer guys too.

But gee, take a chill pill and realize what your words and rants can do to others. For once. A lot of you people are bullies hiding behind principles. And that behavior shouldn't be accepted by any side.

this kinda feels like a poem. that's not a bad thing, it just... kinda sounds like a poem.

you have some good points here. i think origin does hold importance and meaning, because at its best it can help us understand ourselves and seek out the appropriate respective groups and resources.

but the way we talk about it is a problem. whether we like it or not, plurality isn't always black and white, and that's okay, but, as with everything in life, gray areas need to be handled with care and nuance, something that a lot of people don't seem willing to do.

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artisticdysfunction · 1 hour

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I actually really want an outside point of view. But also to share my side.

There’s a user posting a lot of bad stuff about me. Like a lot. I try and let this stuff go and not engage on this platform. I’m not posting their username publicly because I am still trying to respect their privacy but if anyone does see the posts, I want my side to be out there.

I run a trauma survivors discord server. In the server, I try and manage everyone’s comfort as best as I can.

I had more than one person approach me about feeling uncomfortable at the frequency this user tried to get other members to DM and how pushy it came across as.

Me and the other mods understood that this likely didn’t come from a bad place but from being lonely so we weren’t mad. Genuinely. But if I have multiple people feeling uncomfortable, I feel I need to act on it. No one approached me publicly in the server so no one knew someone else had approached me. The people approaching me didn’t know anyone else had approached me so this wasn’t a thing where people just started agreeing and piling on.

So, I sent this message:

The things being said because of this message have me second guessing myself. And I’m just tired.

I understand that they are feeling attacked and I so remember how it felt when I was in a really bad place and I would have felt really upset about getting this message too. But I still don’t think the amount of harassing is justified by them or the things they are saying about me are okay.

I really don’t usually post about drama but my other urge was to delete my blogs because I am just so tired. And I realized that urge was coming because I felt like I couldn’t defend myself. Like I had to be the “bigger” person and that’s something I struggled with a lot growing up. Being quiet to protect other people.

So, here’s my side of the story.

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artisticdysfunction · 11 hours

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Its insane how quick people forget that they were a real full human person at 15 and at 12 and at 9. Thats real people with awareness going through moral struggles and stuff

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artisticdysfunction · 11 hours

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artisticdysfunction · 12 hours

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thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

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artisticdysfunction · 15 hours

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