i think one of the funniest bits in veggietales is this silly song

because mike nawrocki (voice of larry the cucumber and writer of most of the silly songs) his wife is latina and he said the inspiration for this song was one time he was in the car with her and she was translating a spanish song for him that was on the radio and it was basically this except the “look at the tomato” parts were actually “look at the white man.” mike thought it was extremely funny so he wrote this song with her

Imagine getting thrown in the dungeon and rotting in jail then getting dragged to the ocean and eaten by a whale and thrown in the Tigris and floating for a while then being watched meet a hungry crocodile then being put on a camel's back and sent off to Ur with a cowboy hat without a brim a boot without a spur and given jelly doughnuts but get them taken all away and your ears filled with cheese balls and your nostrils with sorbet then get used as a footstool and a table to play Scrabble on then get tied up and beat up and thrown out of Babylon.

if those crazy christian conservatives are still banning drag and calling it satanic and evil then they should include their beloved veggietales in the mix

throwback to the old shakespeare episode where mr lunt dressed in drag and none of the ppl in sunday schools gave a fuck about it

ok but like i think the reason that veggietales is the only good christian media is because it’s not preachy. like i never watched the last couple movies as a kid but from what i remember about all the rest of it, even though 99% of it was explicitly christian, it wasn’t like the rest of christian media that was like “remember always that athiests are bad and if you dont convert your friends they will go to hell :)” they never mentioned hell at all they were just like “we’re marketing to christians and so we are going to tell bible stories and biblical lessons because we believe this is true and needs to be taught” but at the same time they were never trying to force kids to convert, or trying to SCARE them into belief like a lot of americanized christianity does. it wasn’t “believe in jesus or go to hell” it was “believe in jesus because he was a cool fuckin guy and bible lessons are great and we should all be fucking nice to each other”

also because they weren’t afraid to be funny as FUCK. fully convinced that “weedeater” is the reason tumblr humor developed in our generation

absolutely disgusting. unfollowing him now. I thought he was a pirate but it turns out that he’s never been to Boston in the fall.

[ X ]

I started listening to Welcome to Nightvale and had an epiphany about it after a dozen or so episodes

So I finally got my water heater replaced after more than half a year of it leaking and nearly destroying my floor, but that's not the story. The story is of the handyman that installed it.

Dude's name is Chris, and he's your typically midwestern schlub - friendly, apologizes too much, really likes the Cardinals, maybe a little younger than my parents. Hella nice tho, gets the heater installed quickly, and even offers to fix the floorboards it warped (after nearly tripping over the hump it made in the floor twice). Overall, a stress-free experience.

Then, as he's gathering up his tools - "So, I noticed your, uh, banner. Over your bed."*

*(The closet where my water heater is is located in my bedroom because I live in a mobile home, dude wasn't just wandering creepily into my bedroom)

He's referring to a giant pride flag that's hanging over my bed, with the words "Sounds gay, I'm in"

My anxiety spikes instantaneously, thinking oh christ I'm about to get hatecrimed or at least microaggressioned.

But then he says "Yeah, my daughter is gay, and I was wondering, like...where do you guys, ya know, meet up?"

What.

"Because she met her most recent girlfriend when she was in jail, and I keep asking why she doesn't just find a nice lesbian librarian or something and she said 'dad I know they're out there, I just don't know where'. So...like...where do you?"

So I ended up confessing to this nice man who installed my water heater that I don't know of any real gay culture in our mostly Baptist Missouri town of about 18,000 that routinely freaks out over pride displays in the library (I'm sure it exists but I'm lazy and haven't gone looking for it). My girlfriend lives in an area with a rather bustling gay community (we just did a face painting booth for their pride festival a few weeks ago), so maybe have her go out there with some friends, and also a lot of queers I know play dnd so maybe find a nice group of them and network. I then apologized that I wasn't more helpful in getting his daughter settled with a nice, wholesome dyke.

On the plus side, he was not deterred at all, and seemed to be very interested in the fact dnd was so popular amongst the el gee bee tees. I told him the names of some dms I know and told him to go to town. I do not know if the names will be given to his daughter or hoarded for himself so he can join a group and play like he did when he was a teenager and not be called satanic for it.

He's coming to fix my floor next week.

The second time I quilted Joan of Ark.

This one just got first place at the Utah State Fair

Magnets: I want to commit diamagnetic

having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps

my advice to you; put a little dijon mustard in any cheesy beige food. whisk it into your cheese sauce just before u add the cooked macaroni. spread a thin layer in your cheese toasties. add a spoonful to your mashed potatoes with the butter. anything thats gonna be heavy on rich dairy and starches will benefit enormously from the hint of warmth and acidity that dijon mustard will give it, even if you don't add enough to make it Taste Like Mustard (which, ideally, you shouldnt). itll cut through the richness and stop your tastebuds getting fatigue from too much fat&starch, which is important for the overall enjoyment of a dish. ur welcome. take this knowledge and change the world

I wanted to share my video here as well, thank you for all the love and kind comments I’ve received so far ~ by katharinawallen

Original audio

This warms my heart ...

i’ve decided to carry some undying hope with me every day. as a treat

Your daily dose of cat memes

when I was in high school my AP english teacher told us we weren’t allowed to eat in class so I took that as a personal challenge to see what the most ridiculous thing I could eat in class without getting caught was so I started bringing soup to class and as soon as I’d crack the lid of my thermos the tiniest bit this football player that sat like 3 rows in front of me would going “I SMELL MEAT SOMEONE HAS SOUP” and no one ever believed him