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arrowpen · 6 years

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The man in the wall

When I was about twelve years old, I liked to spend my time in the basement of our house. Barely anyone besides me ever went there because it was a rather small and dingy and stocked with old furniture and sports equipment. My mother, being the orderly person she was, hated the basement with a passion. It seemed to be the only place in the whole house which she couldn’t clean up no matter how hard she tried. This of course, made the basement the perfect place to hide my horror comics I had bought from a library sale. Usually I sat in an old armchair close to a shelf full of preserves and read these comics until I heard somebody coming home. Then I would sneak silently to the kitchen and pretend I had been there the whole time.

One particularly grey afternoon I was reading an especially gruesome comic where a werewolf was ripping some helpless victim while the victim’s girlfriend was watching in horror. I was just about to put the comic book down when I heard a voice. At first I thought it was the air conditioning system or some other machine making a low humming sound, but then I realised that the sound had a tangible tune. I actually knew the tune! It was a sad, yet familiar song called “Lemminkäisen äiti” (“The Mother of Lemminkäinen”). I had to listen to the tune for a while to realise that it was coming from behind the shelf from something that looked like an airing vent. Without thinking I got up and started to move the jars so I could see it better. The airing vent was attached to something that looked like an outline of a bricked up door. The sound kept going on. Now that I was listening properly, I realised it was a low, male voice. Without thinking I spoke:

“Is there somebody there?” the sound stopped.

“If I count as a person, then I would say there is somebody here.” the voice said thoughtfully. I suddenly felt how my world slipped askew. There was someone behind the basement wall! Who was he? Was there a tunnel? A secret room?

“Who the hell are you and what are you doing behind our basement wall?” I said trying to sound intimidating. The voice hesitated for a moment, then it said: “I can’t say much, but I belong in here. I was put here because I should not be anywhere else. I am sorry for I cannot give you a better answer.”

I started softening my tone, for somehow I knew that I wouldn’t get much out of the Voice when I tried to sound intimidating. “You could at least tell your name.” I said as pleasantly as I could.

“My name is Ask, dear miss!” the voice said, I could hear a smile in its tone. “I have had myriads of names, but I was originally christened as Ask. May I ask your name?”

Now I was even more confused, not only because the man behind the wall was conversing with me without hesitation, but also because he was so non-ironically polite.

For some reason I blurted out my name without hesitation.

There was a long, unpleasant silence between us. For a while I thought I had imagined the whole thing and sat back to the armchair and started reading my comic again. Then Ask spoke. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but you are real aren’t you?” I looked at the airing vent incredulously. “Yes I am, but are you?” Ask laughed for the first time. His laughter sounded pleasant and husky. “I am as real as the bad odour of this lousy cellar! Wouldn’t it be nicer upstairs?” I sighed. Ask had hit a nerve. “No it wouldn’t, the windows up there are way too big and it’s usually really noisy. To be honest, this is the only part of this stupid house I like!”

“Oh Dear!” Ask said sounding truly sorry. “An oppressive environment I see! Please feel free to tell me to pipe down if you need some peace and quiet!”

“Oh no! I really don’t mind talking to you!” I hurried to say. I really wanted to know more about Ask and I was afraid he might decide to stop talking altogether.

“That is good to hear!” Ask said sounding a bit relieved “Say, how did your day go?” Now I felt even more confused. There was a disembodied voice behind the wall and it was asking me about my day like a family member or a neighbour! My guards were still up so I wanted to say something vague or sarcastic. However I found myself unable to do so. My words came pouring out:

“My day was good! Great even! I have really nice friends but…”

“But?”

“A girl called Emmi is kind of mean!”

“How come?”

“Well, she keeps talking over me all the time and always has something mean to say about the stuff I tell. She’s so, what’s the word…Demeaning!”

I paused because I was feeling bad.

“I think she hates me”

“Hate is a strong word.” Ask said. “I don’t really think she hates you unless you have actually done something bad to her. Have you?”

“Of course not!” I snapped. “I would never do anything bad to her! Or any of the girls for that matter! I am not a bully!”

“Of course you aren’t!” Ask said in a soothing tone. “I just had to make sure. You know, sometimes people hold grudges for things that can’t be even considered wrongdoings. It might be that she just thinks you have done something wrong when you really haven’t.”

I sighed. “Yeah, she probably doesn’t hate me, but she sure doesn’t like me either!”

“Just give it time and talk as much as you want!” Ask said warmly. “I’m sure she’ll see that interrupting you all the time doesn’t keep you quiet!”

I don’t really remember what we talked about after that. I just remember that Ask’s His presence felt really good. I had to say hasty goodbyes when I heard Mum coming home. Ask sounded a bit sad. “Thank you for talking with me,” he muttered. “I truly appreciated that!” I wanted to say something kind, but I had to hurry upstairs so mum wouldn’t catch me coming from the basement. I really didn’t feel like explaining why I had been there.

Mum had dragged over one of her work friends, a well-groomed woman with bleached hair. They were sitting in the living room, talking. Mum greeted me, the woman didn’t.

Only when I got to bed, did I realise that I had actually talked to a basement wall about something I had kept inside me the whole week. It was strange, the whole conversation felt so distant, like it had been a dream! I wasn’t even sure if it actually had been a dream. I managed to fall asleep after staring at the ceiling for over half an hour.

The next day school felt much easier for me. If my senses hadn’t been wrong, I had a fun and scary secret at home just waiting for me to get back to it. For the longest time I had something of my own that nobody else could get their hands on! The secret belonged to me, not to mum, not to Helena (my sister), not to Emmi, just to me!

At the time I was hanging out with a bunch of girls who were the same age as I. The girl Ask and I talked about was called Emmi. She was a loud-mouthed, bossy type of kid who usually got what she wanted. To be honest, I didn’t like her much. The only reason I tolerated her was Lilli, who happened to be one of my best friends.

“Have you ever fallen for somebody in like, a friend way?” I asked Ask one day.

“Hmm, I think I have, but you have to be more specific.” he answered.

“You know, when you have a wonderful friend and you just can’t stop thinking about the way they smile and laugh and talk to you, but you know, you still don’t want to kiss them? I just love this friend of mine so much! She makes me so happy!”

I hugged an old pillow and made a little squealing sound. Lilli truly made me happy. Everything about her made me feel good about myself. Unlike everyone else, she liked to hear my stories and didn’t roll her eyes or talk over me. She laughed with me.

Ask thought for a moment. “I had a friend like that once. He was so very kind and understood me better than anyone, but…” I sensed sadness in his voice. “But what?” I asked trying to sound as kind as possible.

“No I think this story is too sad!”

“What do you mean? I wanna hear it!”

“You see, he had been my friend since we went to university together. He was rather poor and had gotten into the university with great difficulty. I of course got there much easier, since I came from a much wealthier family. After the university ended, I got new friends who were wealthy like I was.”

He stuttered for a moment.

“And I just.. I started meeting my dear friend less and less. After a while we fell out of touch. I just always assumed that he would always be there no matter what. Then one day when I tried to invite him to a party, I learned that he had died years before.”

Ask was quiet for a moment. “Pardon me miss!” he said. I was sure that he was blushing behind the wall. “It all just came pouring out. You are so easy to talk to!”

I smiled. “It’s all right. Now we are even.” Ask laughed a bit, but it sounded hollow. I moved the shelf and felt up the outlines of the bricked up door.

"Ask, are you next to the wall?

-Uh, yes I am miss. Why do you ask?

I pressed myself against the wall. It was the best I could do.

-I’m hugging you right now!

I “hugged” Ask for a moment. Almost immediately after I had parted with the wall I heard him speak:

-Thank you miss! Thank you so very much!

There was a crack in his voice.

I paused for a moment. “Um, would you tell another story?”

I hadn’t spoken to anyone else besides Lilli that day and wanted to hear Ask’s soft voice again. Also, I really wanted him to cheer up.

-What kind of story would you like to hear? he asked sounding a bit happier. “Stories about my life aren’t that interesting, but I do know many fairy stories.”

-Then tell me one of those! I said and leaned my head against the arm chair back. "I like it when you tell stories.

And he told me a story. I don’t remember much about it except that it was about a man who discovered a talking skull from the forest. I just remember his soft, forgiving voice. Then I remember falling asleep.

I woke up when Mum came home. I snuck upstairs afraid that I would have to explain why I was in the basement. I had feared for nothing, for Mum had fallen asleep on the sofa.

It went on like this for over a month, I would come home before everyone else and head to the basement to talk to my secret friend. The fact that I didn’t get to meet Lilli that often didn’t bother me that much anymore, since I had another person to chat with. Ask told me little stories about all the silly things that had happened to him at some point. I didn’t care how simple these stories were. I loved to hear about his crotchety snob of a grandfather and his trips to Ladoga.

Then came the day which I remember to be one of the worst days of my life. After running most of my way home, I headed straight to the basement without even checking if anyone was home. I sat on the old armchair breathing heavily. My head was swimming and everything felt even more unreal than usual. “Dear God! Is something wrong?” said Ask worriedly. “Everything is wrong!” I screeched. “Every single thing!”

“It will be alright! Now breathe dear miss! Breathe… That’s good! Now tell me what’s wrong.”

“I said no to them! I huffed. "They wanted me to steal stuff from the shops with them and I said no!”

-But isn’t that good?

-No! No it isn’t! Now they won’t talk to me anymore! They said that we aren’t friends anymore.

-Even Lilli?

Answering this question brought tears to my eyes. "Even Lilli!”

I began to cry. I cried so much that my chest ached. Not even Ask’s kind voice couldn’t calm me down. I felt so ugly and unclean that I wanted to die… No, in fact I didn’t want myself to die. I managed to stop crying. The following words just slipped out of my mouth.

-I want to kill them!

Ask didn’t say anything for solid two minutes. Finally I heard a puzzled question: -Why?

-They are no good! Emmi is a monster and the other girls are spineless cowards! They are mean and horrible to everybody! It would be better if they weren’t there at all!

My voice started sounding wrong even to my own ears. Anger was burning my insides making the words pour out of my mouth.

-I’ve been to their houses, I know what time each of them are going home. It’s going to be so easy! Minna lives near the churchyard, I can hide in the bushes there. She is kinda easy to catch, since she’s not a good runner. Heidi is much quicker, but she listens to music on her way home so it’s easy to sneak up behind her without her noticing.

My breathing was starting to get more stable. Everything felt clearer. It was going to be much easier than I had thought before.

-I don’t know yet when Emmi’s mum has her night shifts, but during those Emmi is home alone.

I paused. It felt so good to say it.

“It makes sense doesn’t it?” I asked the man in the wall. I wasn’t conscious what I was thinking on that moment, but later I noticed that I was wishing for Ask’s approval. He sighed. “Would you at least listen to one more story before you execute your plan?” he asked. Did he sound guilty? I wasn’t happy to let all my adrenaline go to waste, but I suddenly felt like I needed to hear this story. “Sure,” I said. “Tell me a story!”

It might be that I remember some minor details wrong, but here’s the story Ask told me:

Once upon a time there was a prince. He was the kindest, gentlest soul and very much loved by the whole kingdom. Every time people talked about him, somebody was bound to say: “Oh I can’t wait until he becomes the king!”. Little did anyone know, that there was something that was eating the prince inside. His father, the king, was known to be a fair ruler, but only the prince knew about all the tax money he had embezzled and all the people he had bribed. For years the poor prince had been forced to watch his father mistreating the queen, and take strange women to his bedchamber.

One day the prince had had enough and decided to face the queen.

“Mother!” he said. “Father has been horrible to us for all these years! I cannot take this anymore! We must tell the people what a monster he is!”

The queen shook her head.

“It is true that he has done bad things, but look at this castle! Look at this kingdom! It wouldn’t be as great if your father was taken from the throne!”

The prince felt his anger rise, but left the queen’s room. “Perhaps the lord of treasury will listen to me!” the prince thought, so he put on a disguise, and travelled to the lord’s residence.

To the prince’s chagrin, the lord did not only disagree with him, he laughed at him.

“It is true that he has done things a king shouldn’t do, but look at this beautiful house! Look at all these delicacies in front of us! None of this would be mine if your father was not the king!”

The prince travelled and travelled around the country and talked to countless monarchs, but again and again the same happened. They all laughed at him. None of them wanted to risk their riches or power to rise against the corrupt king. The prince felt desperate and inconsolable while riding back home. There was no way to dethrone his father, he would have to do something much worse to stop him.

Eventually the prince and his steed grew tired, so they stopped at a tavern. While eating his dinner, the prince heard two men whispering frantically about something. They were talking about a man. “Excuse me sirs, who is this man and why are you so perturbed by him?”

“Haven’t you heard about him?” said the first man. “The gentleman at the city gate! Nobody knows who he is! Nobody has ever seen him in the daylight! He appears there at the strike of midnight. It is said that if you ask him a favour, he will help you, but you will have to pay a horrible price!” The prince asked what the price was. “We don’t know,” the men said. “Nobody has ever come back to tell.”

At this point, the prince was desperate, he was ready to do anything to stop his horrible father, so when the midnight was approaching, he was there waiting for the strange man. Finally the town clock chimed twelve times. On the twelfth chime, the prince looked across his shoulder and saw a strange-looking man. He was dressed in black and his eyes had a strange glint.

The man asked what the prince wanted. “I want to be rid of my father, the king.” he said. The man asked why the prince hadn’t killed him himself. “I cannot kill my own father even if I hate him. I do not have the gall for that!” The man laughed and said that he could indeed help him, but the prince would never be able to go back to how things were before. The prince pondered.

Then he said yes.

The man kissed him.

The next morning the prince noticed that he was full of courage and bravery. He would be able to face anything and anyone in the world. He travelled home and put his plan into action. The night after the prince had returned home, the king slit his own throat.

One by one all of the corrupt monarchs in the kingdom died in various ways. One of the counts hurled himself off the cliff, another died in his sleep. The lord of treasury who had laughed at the prince, choked on his food during his Sunday dinner. Soon enough the kingdom had gotten rid of all of the corrupt monarchs and new ones took their places.

The queen ruled alone until she died of old age, then the prince took the throne with great rejoicing. The beloved prince could finally rule as the rightful king and nobody was there to stop him from helping the people in need. Greed would never again rule his country.

Very soon, the new king proposed to the eldest princess of the neighbouring kingdom and they had a lovely wedding. The kingdom was ecstatic, not only was the new king a great ruler, he now had the most wonderful queen to rule alongside with him.

Years went by and the new queen grew older, but the king didn’t seem to age a day. His eyes were still childlike blue and his hair golden.

Then one day the queen took ill. The greatest doctors of the kingdom were summoned, but nothing could be done. Time had gotten hold of the queen and nothing could beat the time itself. Soon enough, the queen died.

The king was mad with sorrow and begged for God to take him away, but it was no use. God could no longer take the king, because years ago he had been kissed by the Devil himself.

After Ask had finished this story, I kept silent for a time that felt like a small eternity. I was still angry, but now the anger felt much weaker than before. Then all the feelings I had kept inside suddenly gushed forth. I began to cry again, but this time they were different kind of tears.

I cried and cried while Ask consoled me. His words felt like warm hands stroking my hair. Then I fell asleep.

That night mother and I watched television together. One of my favourite films, “Ronja the robber’s daughter” was on. I scooted close to mum and put my head against her shoulder. She put her arm around me. “Your clothes smell kind of musty. Have you been to the basement?” she asked worriedly. I laughed it off. “Just had to get some jam!”

On following weeks mum started coming home earlier. She never explained why, but I didn’t question her. I was just happy to spend more time with her.

The girls no longer talked to me because they considered me to be a snitch after I had told about their nasty deeds to the teachers. However, they didn’t bully me anymore. My mood had improved significantly after I had stopped hanging out with them. I could do whatever I wanted and say whatever I wanted.

During that time, Ask got quieter. He didn’t tell as much stories as he used to. Then came the night I still wish I would have appreciated more.

I was feeling rather sleepy again. Ask had just told me a little story about a juniper tree, when he said it:

-Thank you!

-Why are you thanking me? I laughed sleepily. "You are the one who just told a story!

-I mean, thank you for doing this all for me! I am just so happy that you bothered to talk to me in the first place!

I reached my hand against the wall.

-I should be thanking you! I said. You have been awfully kind to me!

-Yes I guess I have. Ask said sounding a little unsure.

-I love you!

-I love you too miss.

When I left the basement I swore that from the stairs I could hear Ask saying something. I am still not quite sure what it was but it sounded something like:

-I have done all that I have to do!

The following day I got off from school early thanks to the autumn holiday. My ride wasn’t there yet so I walked home and looked at the beautiful foliage. Everything was so colourful and sweet. I had gotten the best news ever, mum would have her autumn holidays at the same time as me and my sis and we were going on a trip.

I rushed down to the basement to tell Ask the good news, but came across something horrible.

The shelf against Ask’s wall had been removed.

The bricked up door had been torn open and there were bricks lying everywhere.

Behind the door was a vaguely man-shaped alcove.

I approached the alcove in horror. It looked way too tight for anyone to be in, a bit like a too small coffin. I tried to fit into it.

It was way too narrow to even breathe in.

#short story #my stories #Mana & Mana

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