She/Her, 21. Yeah, I don't fucking know either. Nothing makes sense here. Also, if you need help with a writing project or idea, my asks are open. Or if you just wanna fuck around. Give me random bullshit. It nourishes me. Like a burger. Mmmmmmm, burger.......... what was I talking about?
straight guy geologist describing a vertically oriented igneous intrusion to his buddy: it’s a . well. i’m not sure i can reclaim this one just get over here
my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military
A man wakes up in a hospital bed right next to his friend.
His friend says to him “We’re currently drowning in debt because the doctors just cured your amnesia!”
The friend then asks the other friend “Oh no! How are we going to ever pay the bills now?”
The first friend then has an idea.
“I know! Give me 100 dollars and I’ll buy a bat, then I’ll hit you on the head with it and we can claim your insurance.”
So the second friend gives the first friend 100 dollars and he leaves the room. After a while the first friend comes back with a bat and he hits his friend on the head.
A man wakes up in a hospital bed right next to his friend.
Me Giving a Pressed Conference: our advocacy for the disabled must include the addict, the imperfect victim, those we despise; the right to autonomy and life cannot devolve into a popularity contest
Reporter I Hate (Not Sexual Tension): Does that include all the attendees of the Bored Ape NFT event who went blind
Me: *Blood streaming from my nostrils and eyes* david, it includes everyone
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