#1 This is the first day I have done this. The first day I have allowed my hands to hold something that is not you. I am holding this pen, but it quivers. I am asked to write because we are told that the universe has meaning, more meaning than we realize and for some reason it’s supposed to mean something without you here in it. So I struggle to think of a topic that is not you. A topic that does not involve your portion of the universe, and I suck in trying to breathe air that you have not. But I am suffocating. I realize no matter how hard I try to coerce the ink in my pen to write of a world without you in it, I realize there is none. You were my world, and you destroyed me. You were my universe, and I was a small cluster of stars for your collection, and when you plucked them from me, I became a void. A void where any light of my individuality is lost and consumed by your determination to destroy me.I am no longer anything. I have become your nothing, as my existence, I realize, is nothing to you. So tear me open, extract my stars and my beauty, and make me a black hole, so that someday I might hurt another the same way you have hurt me. Because God knows I have suffered, and I refuse to suffer alone.

And You Cannot Silence Me// @ardent-goodbyes