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aragornstarkova · 2 years

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ambivalence part one: friends - rafe cameron

a/n: hi everyone! i've been trying to write this for a bit now, i hope you guys love it. let me know what you think so i know if you want this series to continue xoxo

Summary: In the midst of a breakup, you find a friend in the one person you never expected.

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 4.1k

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my writing

The doorbell sharply ringing through the living room breaks you out of your trance. Zoned out, thinking about him again, missing him. You two have only been apart for two weeks, but John B is still fresh on your mind. He'd broken up with you suddenly, and wasted no time getting together with Sarah Cameron.

The same Sarah Cameron who happened to be standing on your doorstep with the rest of her family, waiting on a member of yours to invite them inside. You take a deep breath and sit up on the couch, watching your dad step up to the door while adjusting his tie.

"Stand up, Y/N," he snaps his fingers at you.

Your mom and brother hurry down the stairs, both looking fresh and presentable. You'd barely been able to pull on a sweater, but nobody fought you on it because you've been in such a mood lately.

Your dad opens the door and welcomes the Camerons, graciously accepting a bottle of wine from Rose and giving her a hug. Ward shakes his hand and then the kids follow, all greeting your dad with smiles, handshakes and hugs.

You tug on the sleeves of your sweater, leaning up against the wall of the foyer and watching them enter. Sarah looks at you, narrowing her eyes when your eyes meet. She's not a fan of you, especially not after you and John B. She'd always seen it as a competition, and she's finally won.

Rafe walks up behind Sarah, sending a glance your way. His eyes flicker down to the floor after a second. You've never been a fan of his, not since you two were kids. Your fathers have worked together since all of you were in diapers, so these dinners are a pretty usual occurrence.

"Y/N, hey!" Wheezie cheers, rushing over to you.

"Hey, Wheezie," you give her your best smile.

"What's up?"

Sarah's eyes meet yours again, this time giving you a devilish smirk. You inhale sharply, then do your best to swallow your emotions.

"Y/N?"

"Sorry, Wheezie," you mumble.

"Wheezie, Y/N," your mother steps in, earning both of your attention, "Time to sit, please."

You sigh and pat Wheezie on the shoulder, then peel yourself off the wall and walk over to the dining room. You take your normal seat, trying to ignore the fact that it's between Rafe and your brother. You all have had the same seats for years, and you've hated it since then. Rafe used to steal your napkin off your lap when you two were ten, and then started flicking your thigh to annoy you when you were fourteen. Now, he barely speaks to you at all.

You fold your hands in your lap, running one thumb nail over the other and playing with the frays of your sleeve. You zone out once more, thinking about what John B might be doing right now and wondering if he's waiting on Sarah to get out of these dinners the way he used to wait on you.

Now, the most exciting thing you'll be doing after dinner is going upstairs. Alone.

"Y/N," Rafe says suddenly, making you snap your head up.

You wonder what he could possibly need, what he could possibly want, when your eyes settle on the casserole dish he's attempting to pass to you.

"Sorry," you mutter, reaching up for the glass dish.

Your fingers brush his, causing him to yank his hands off of it immediately. It takes you by surprise, but you adjust your hold and recover before the dish can fall out of your hands completely. You scoop only a bit onto your plate, then pass the dish onto your brother.

Your fork twirls in your hand, picking at the food aimlessly and shifting it around on your plate. The adults around you surround themselves in business talk, and Wheezie starts chatting with Sarah about her school.

Rafe leans over, only a bit, but keeping his voice low enough that nobody else can hear, "You okay?"

"Fine," you reply, eyes trained on the food on your plate.

He notices how you haven't taken a single bite, how you're wearing a sweater and leggings when you usually wear a dress to these dinners, and how you didn't bother putting a speck of makeup on. His eyes trail down to your plate, watching you move the food around.

"Could've fooled me," he mutters under his breath, sitting up straight again.

"She's probably just a little down," Sarah cuts in, "Single life can be lonely."

You look up at her, clenching your jaw and rolling your eyes before you look down again. Your brother is too busy talking with your father and Ward about business, so he didn't hear. Thank God.

You choose not to speak, letting your best judgment take over. You glance over to Wheezie, who is keeping her head down in her plate to keep from taking sides.

"Wheezie," Sarah says, loud enough that she still wants you listening, "Eat up. We've got to go, I need to go meet John B. We're going-"

"Shut up, Sarah," Rafe glares at his sister.

You look over at him, watching the way he clenches his jaw and shakes his head slightly at her. Sarah just huffs and rolls her eyes, not bothering to fight her brother. Rafe doesn't look over at you, although he can feel your gaze practically burning a hole in the side of his head.

You take a bite of your food, unable to taste anything but cardboard. Usually, you enjoy your mother's cooking. Lately, nothing's tasted good.

"Sarah," your mother speaks up as she pushes her empty plate away, "I've been telling Y/N about this college night going on at the high school next week. Have you heard about it?"

"Yes, ma'am," Sarah nods, smiling sweetly at your mother.

It makes you want to throw up.

"You two should go together! She needs someone to go with her now that J-"

"Mom," you stop her, ignoring the snicker that comes out of Sarah's mouth before she can help herself.

"I'm sorry, I just thought, maybe-"

"I'm not going to college night."

"Y/N," your mom sighs.

"I'm going. It's gonna be a great night. Y/N, maybe you could tag along with my boyfriend and I."

You know Sarah's invitation is almost as fake as her, but you can't even bother trying to come up with a response before your mom explodes with excitement.

"I didn't know you have a boyfriend! Oh, how exciting!" your mom exclaims.

Sarah smiles widely, causing you to close your eyes to prevent any emotion from showing through. You hadn't bothered to tell your parents that John B moved on so quick, only because you hadn't been physically able to discuss is with anyone.

"Yes, he's great. I think Y/N would like him a lot," Sarah continues.

"Oh, I'm sure she would. What's he like?"

You laugh sarcastically, now well aware that you're not even close to ready for this dinner. You stand abruptly, scaring both Rafe and your brother as your chair scapes against the wood floor.

"I'm gonna clear the table," you declare, looking over to Rafe, "You finished? Good."

You pick up his plate before getting a response, then grab your brother's and your own and make your way into the kitchen. You hear Sarah erupt into a story about her oh-so perfect boyfriend, which makes you feel like there's a weight sitting on your chest.

You slam the plates down in the sink, gripping the edge of the sink so hard that your knuckles turn white.

Sarah Cameron with your ex-boyfriend. The guy you trusted, dated for six months, the guy that took your virginity without a second thought. And now, he's picking her up from dinners at your house like the last six months meant nothing to him.

"You know, you actually have to turn the water on to wash the dishes."

You release the counter and spin around, finding Rafe standing in the doorway with a stack of plates in his hand. He smiles smugly at you, stepping over beside you and flipping on the water before you can even think about it. You don't speak, just shift over so he has more room.

"My sister's a bitch," he continues, "Always has been. I'm sure you've figured that out by now, though."

You just nod your head, watching as he scrapes a plate into the garbage and then picks up the sponge from the sink to start scrubbing.

"My mother would quite literally kill me right now. Guests aren't supposed to do dishes," you tell him.

He laughs to himself, "I've been coming to this house since I was born. I don't think I'm considered a guest anymore."

"Still," you mumble out, shifting toward him so he moves over.

You reach down and take the plate from his hand, and he silently hands over the sponge, too. You start scrubbing, using the act to get your aggression out. Rafe dries his hands off and you assume he'll leave, but he doesn't.

"I get the parents thing, though. Your mom pressuring you to go to that college thing, I mean. Sometimes, it feels like they only see us as our accomplishments."

You glance up at him, watching the way he's staring down at his palms, trying to do anything but look at you.

"Yeah, it does."

Silence falls over the kitchen, so you hand him the plate you had finished cleaning to dry. He gladly accepts, picking up the dish towel he had dried his hands with.

"Why are you being nice to me today?" you ask, eyes down in the sink.

You hear him snicker, "Figured you really don't need anyone else piling it on. Don't worry, though. Next week, it's on."

You laugh, which makes Rafe laugh. He finishes drying off his plate and carries it directly to the cabinet it belongs in. Of course he knows exactly where it goes.

"What did you mean?" you blurt, "When you said that you understand the parents thing?"

He sighs, holding his hand out for the next plate. You hand it to him, watching how he pulls his fingers back when yours get close. It reminds you of how he'd pulled away from you so fast at the dinner table.

"Just shit with my dad," he mumbles.

"Is he still running you ragged at work?"

Rafe laughs again, making you feel like the funniest person in the world. He takes his time drying off this plate.

"He fired me."

You can't help but drop the plate you're washing back down into the sink, wincing at the crashing noise. Rafe snickers when you bring wide eyes up to meet his, trying to determine if he's serious.

"Rafe, what-"

"It's not a big deal."

He strides over to the cabinet once again to tuck another plate away. You open your mouth to speak, but your mother rushes into the kitchen, stopping you.

"What was that noise?" she asks, staring at you.

"Sorry," you shrug, "I just dropped a plate."

"Rafe, sweetheart, sit down. Y/N can handle the dishes on her own. She shouldn't have asked you to help, that was rude."

She glares at you, attempting to guide Rafe back into the dining room.

"She didn't-"

"Y/N, bring in the dessert when you're finished. And some new plates. Rafe, come in. I want to hear about your job!"

Rafe grimaces, taking his sweet time closing the cabinet door. When your mom hurries back in to the dining room, he steps back over to you.

"Look's like your mom's having a two-for-one night, huh?" he laughs.

You give him a tight smile. He sets the dish towel back down on the counter and takes one step closer to you, eyes trailing from your tired ones down to your hands emerged in dirty dish water.

"John B's an asshole, you know," he says, voice low, "And Sarah's only with him to rebel against my dad. It won't last."

"It doesn't matter," you reply, keeping your gaze down.

"Maybe not," he agrees with a shrug, "But at least you know you won't have to attend a Routledge-Cameron wedding."

He snickers at his own joke, then pushes himself off the counter once he sees the corners of your mouth push up into a smile. You listen to his footsteps retreat back into the dining room, and then your mother explode with excitement. You laugh dryly when you hear her ask about his job, and listen to his response when he tells her, 'it's certainly something'.

The next day, you get up and get ready for work without thinking twice. You know if you sit down, or think about not going, that you'll wind up laying back in bed and call out. You worry if you call out again, you'll no longer have a job.

You show up to the club, finding Topper standing at the computer, inputting orders. He smiles when he sees you, rushing over to catch up with you while you go to clock in.

"Morning," he greets, "How'd dinner go last night?"

"Sarah's a bitch," you reply.

You and Topper had formed an unlikely friendship when he started working here. You'd been surprised, given you'd always pegged him to be a rich, preppy douche bag. He's friends with Rafe, after all. But you'd changed your mind quickly when Topper snuck you a mai tai from the bar and poured it into a disposable coffee cup, just to help make your shift more enjoyable. Now, he's your main confidant.

"Yeah, you're telling me," he scoffs, remembering how miserable he had been when she cheated on him.

"She really sat there, in front of my mother, and flaunted it in my face," you continue.

You type in your clock in number, then shove your bag into your locker. Topper leans up against the one beside you, watching your expression change from angry to sad.

"What is it?" he questions the look on your face.

You peel off an old picture of you and John B that you'd stuck to the door of your locker months ago. You stare at it for a moment, then flip it over for Topper to see.

"Guess I won't be needing this anymore," you say quietly.

Topper takes it out of your hand, only glancing at it for a second before he slides it in his pocket.

"Give it until the end of the day. We can burn it, toss it, or you can put it in a box with the rest of his shit."

You just nod, slamming your locker closed. You take a deep breath and attempt to change the subject, but your manager peaks his head around the corner.

"My two best servers, hiding out in the locker room? Really? Get out there."

Topper smiles to you, then pulls himself off the lockers and leads you out of the back room. You walk out onto the deck, observing your section for the first time. Not too busy, but busy enough that you know you won't be able to leave early.

The day goes by quickly, and before you know it, you and Topper are floating into the dinner rush. You're busier now, running around, filling drinks, taking orders, running food. You barely notice the two sit down until you approach the table.

Your heart catches in your throat when you see him. She's got him dressed up. He's wearing a dress shirt and khaki shorts - you'd never seen him in anything other than basketball shorts and would only put on a shirt when he absolutely had to. You know this isn't him; that he can't possibly be comfortable like this.

"Oh, hey, Y/N," Sarah smiles at you, fixing her hair and then adjusting the top of her dress.

You fumble with your pen, mouth parted as you try and figure out what to say. He looks back at you, his eyes sympathetic but his expression not.

"What can I get for you?" you finally ask, your voice low and unsteady. Sarah's enjoying the hell out of this, and if you weren't so anxious, you swear you could hit her.

"I'll have a mai tai, what about you, John B?"

"I can't serve you alcohol, Sarah," you say, sighing.

"Why? Because you're underage?"

"No, because you are."

"Not according to this," she smiles, pulling out an ID and handing it to you.

It's clearly fake, but you don't care. You only glance at the date before handing it back to her, giving in to her and accepting defeat. She smiles smugly at you, then looks to John B again.

He looks from Sarah to you, anxious expression evident.

"Water," he finally says.

You barely nod and then walk away, dead set on finding Topper. He's already watching you from the bar, eyebrow raised and ready to jump into action if you need him. You nod inside, watching him return your nod and step in.

"What did she say?" he asks when you're close enough, resting his hand on your elbow.

"She has a fake ID, Top," you huff, stepping to the inside bar to place your order.

"So does Rafe, that's not surprising," he shrugs.

You roll your eyes, "I can't believe they got seated in my fucking section."

"I know, she might want to tread lightly or else you might spit in her food."

You laugh, telling him you might have to do that. He waits with you until Sarah's mai tai is ready, then promises to keep an eye on you and you guys will catch up after your shifts.

You bring Sarah's mai tai and John B's water back outside, setting them both down on the table without a word. Sarah can't wipe the smug look off her face, but you keep your eyes away from hers.

"Saw you talking to Topper in there," she smirks, "Apparently we're into the same guys."

You bite down on your tongue, trying to hold back any of the remarks currently floating through your head. Of course she would think you're going after her ex now that she has yours.

"What to eat?"

"Hm, John B, do you feel like we're getting good service? I'm used to more... attentive servers when I have dinner at the Club."

Your glance moves to John B, just waiting on him to pile it on. He looks downright uncomfortable now, like he has genuinely no idea what to say.

"Sarah," he looks to her, begging her silently to knock it off.

Sarah just shrugs innocently, pretending like she has no idea what he's referring to. You sigh audibly, telling both of them you just want to take their orders and walk away.

"I'll just take a burger," John B tells you, keeping his eyes on the table.

You nod, scribbling it down, "Medium well, with fries and ketchup."

You recite his usual order before you can even realize it, then glance up at him quickly to see if he noticed. He's frozen, staring at Sarah as if he's waiting for a bomb to go off.

"Hm, still pining after him, Y/N?" Sarah asks, although you can tell by the way her jaw is set that you've pissed her off.

You're growing more frustrated by the second, not believing you only get paid ten dollars an hour for this bullshit. You can't stand the bitchy look on her face or the way she keeps brushing the pads of her fingers over John B's knuckles as a way of signaling he's hers and only hers.

"What to eat, Sarah?" you repeat your question, finally having the courage to meet her gaze.

"Well, I'll have a burger also, and when I'm done, I'll leave what's left here for you. Maybe you can eat them with Topper, since you're such a big fan of my leftovers."

You scoff and slam your pad and pen down on the table before you can even help it, shaking your head and setting your hands on your hips.

"Sarah-"

"Ah, don't forget, Y/N. Service with a smile," she grins, knowing she's pushing all the right buttons.

You do your best to contain your rage, but when you look to your ex-boyfriend, who is remaining dead silent, you snap. You glance behind you, meeting eyes with Topper and shaking your head. You shake your head at him, watching as he starts over to you. He knows exactly what you're saying without saying it. You need him to take over your tables.

"Fuck you, John B," you mutter to him, watching his eyes fall to his lap before you walk away from them completely.

"Aw, did I hurt her feelings?" you hear Sarah say.

"Sit down, Sarah," Topper says the second he reaches their table.

You find your manager and tell him you're taking your break instead of asking him. He can tell you're frazzled, so he just nods his head. You grab your bag from your locker and make your way toward the front of the club, ready to sit in your car and cry for half an hour.

You shove the door of the Club open, too focused on your own suffering to notice that you almost run into Rafe. He sidesteps at the last second, wide eyed as he takes you in.

"Whoa, got a hot date?"

You sniffle before you look up at him, earning his complete and utter attention. Your eyes are full of water, but you don't dare let a tear fall. Not in front of him.

"Hey," he says, stepping toward you and speaking more gently, "What's wrong?"

You shake your head, stepping back from him when he takes another step toward you. He reaches his arm up, and you take another step back.

"Stop," you snap, "Stop being nice to me. It's not right."

"It's not right that I'm not being an asshole?" he scoffs.

"Kinda!" you raise your voice.

A tear finally falls from your eye, but you brush it away quickly. Not before Rafe sees. He stares at you as if he's trying to figure out what the best thing to do is.

"Fine," he finally says, "Why don't you just... go, then."

You suck in a sharp breath of air and nod, adjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder.

"Don't sit in my section if you're going to eat," you say to him, "Your sister's already made my life tough enough."

"Sarah's in there?" Rafe questions you, putting two and two together as to why you're so upset.

"Yeah, but don't worry. She's with John B."

"Y/N, I'm-"

"Don't," you stop him, "Just go inside, Rafe. I'll see you at dinner next week."

You step away from him before he can protest or try to speak again, rushing away and letting tears flow now. Once you get in your car, you sob. You sob over Sarah's words, over the way John B had looked at you, over the way he hadn't stood up for you when you needed him to. Because he isn't yours, anymore. He's Sarah's.

You can't believe you've lost him, that you finally had him, held him, kissed him, and now he's with her. Being had and held and kissed by her. And, somehow, you're just supposed to suck that up and move on.

When Topper knocks on your window, you're not surprised. He climbs into the passenger seat and embraces you before either of you can even think twice. You calm down quickly once he's with you, telling you to calm down.

When he leads you back inside, he protectively leads you back out to the deck. You see Rafe sitting with Kelce in Topper's section, and much to your dismay, he's already watching you two.

"Sarah's gone," Topper informs you.

You sniffle and nod, not bothering to ask how she left so quickly when she seemed so intent on playing games with you. Topper reaches up and wipes a little smeared mascara from underneath your left eye.

"I'm fine," you tell him.

He nods, "You look it, too."

"Ha ha."

You inhale, busying yourself with the frays on your sweater as you glance around the deck one more time. She really is gone and so is John B, thankfully. Topper notes you looking around, smirking when you look back to him.

"Rafe kicked them out."

He pats you on the arm, watching your jaw fall open slightly. He walks away before you can speak again, leaving you to your thoughts. When you spin around and look at Rafe again, he's already watching you.

He beads his blue eyes into yours for one second, then licks his lips and looks away. He stirs the ice in his drink around and then looks up to focus on Kelce.

You don't look at him again for your entire shift, but as you walk around, you can feel his eyes on you.

And you wonder what could've possibly changed between you and Rafe Cameron in just one night, enough that he's standing up for you in ways John B never did.

Tags: @hollandsour @flowerkidlxrry @kookkyra @pogueslandia @sarahwasfound @fuzzyhumanpersontrash @rafecameronn @rafeswh0ree @outerbankies @morganwilliams

*if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist at any time, please send me an ask!

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aragornstarkova · 2 years

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.ೃ࿐ 𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 ´ˎ˗

“you were just so pretty, and his mom always said pretty things were made to be admired.”

—Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

—summary: it's a shitshow of a summer, and Conrad Fisher has the prettiest eyes you've ever seen.

—word count: 10k

— tw: alcohol, abuse, smoking, brief panic attack, attempted sexual assault (nothing happens), homophobia, makeout session, lots of fights and crying, cancer (oop, sorry!!), conrad is conrad and connor is toxic bf, apologies for any confusion but the names contribute to the storyline!! pls lmk if I left anything out, its a long ass fic and there's a chance I'm missing something.

—a/n: this is the longest fic i've ever written, and if you see the word count and decide against it, i urge you to rethink your decision!! i promise, if you're a conrad lover, this fic is WORTH IT!!

═════════════════

You were never one to back down from a party, and this was something everyone in Cousins knew.

You came to Cousins every summer with your family, your summer house being just across the street from the Fisher’s. You grew up alongside Belly, Steven, Conrad, Jeremiah, and your own brother, Tate. Every summer you were constantly at each other’s houses, surfing, swimming, barbecuing, the six of you did everything together. And now that you were all older, you partied together.

Ever since the summer Belly and Jere turned 16, you all looked forward to the first bonfire of the year. You and Belly would get ready together while she gushed about whatever boy she was crushing on and she’d ask you when you and Conrad were going to finally get together. You would always shake your head and blush, insisting that Conrad could never see you that way. Then you’d meet up with the boys, take a couple shots, snap a couple of photos then finally be on your way down to the beach. It was a night you always held dear to your heart.

Until this summer, when you brought your boyfriend to Cousins, and you did everything in your power to turn down the bonfire this year.

“What’s this about the bonfire?” Conrad entered the room and you froze. God, how could you ever forget how fucking pretty he is?

“Y/n’s not coming.” Steven huffed.

Conrad furrowed his eyebrows as he made his way over to you, pulling you in for a side hug and planting a kiss on the top of your head. You hadn’t seen each other since last summer, and he was absent when you and your brother first made your way over to the Fisher’s.

“Probably because she wants to suck face with her new boyfriend.” Tate rolled his eyes before throwing an almond in the air and catching it between his teeth.

Conrad immediately took a step back and the other 2 boys looked at you with wide eyes, “BOYFRIEND?!”

You rolled your eyes and turned on your heels to grab a glass from the cabinet before filling it up with water from the fridge. “Chill out, we’ve only been together for a couple of months.”

“Tell Connor that. Boy’s obsessed with her.” Your brother said.

“Tate-” you warned. If the boys knew how your boyfriend was, this summer wouldn’t end well.

“Literally never lets her go anywhere without him, it’s so-”

You cut him off by throwing an almond at his face, “Quit it.”

“Whatever.”

“Wait, and he’s here?” Jeremiah asked, eyes brightening.

You nodded, sipping on your water. “Bring him!”

“Bring who?” Belly’s voice rang through the kitchen, having missed the conversation because she had to use the restroom.

“Y/n has a boyfriendddd.” Steven sang in a mock tease, making kissy faces while Jeremiah joined in.

Conrad stayed silent.

“Wait what about-”

“Shut, Belly.” You cut off the younger girl, shooting her a glare.

She closed her mouth immediately.

“Yeah, (Y/n/n), bring him.” Conrad finally broke his silence, cocking his head at you with a lopsided smirk.

“I don’t think–”

“Come onnnn, we do this every year! Boy toy can tag along for one night!” Jeremiah pleaded, putting on his puppy dog face again, and how the fuck werw you supposed to say no to that?

“Fine.”

The kitchen erupted into cheers and whoops of victory, both Steven and Jeremiah standing from their seats to throw their arms around you and jostle you back and forth. You smiled, but you couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach, or the way Conrad’s eyes hadn’t left yours.

–

“Connor, they’re practically my family, can you please just be a normal boyfriend for like 2 seconds?!”

The two of you had been at it like this for almost an hour now, ever since you told him you were both going to the bonfire. Of course Connor was insecure about the 3 incredibly handsome boys you considered your best friends, but Connor would be insecure about anyone with two legs touching you with a 10 foot pole.

“Well, I’m sorry if I’m not particularly keen on 3 guys making googly eyes at my girlfriend all night!”

You let out an exasperated grunt, covering your eyes with your hands. “Steven has a girlfriend, Jeremiah’s been seeing someone, Tate is literally my brother and Conrad may as well be my brother too! He’s barely even talked to me all year anyway, probably has some girlfriend that he’s been hiding.”

“None of that means anything, I know how guys are! I am one!”

You laughed, but there was absolutely nothing funny. “Okay, so you’re saying, since you’re a guy, even though you have a girlfriend, if a prettier girl walked onto the beach for the bonfire you wouldn’t care about me?”

Connor shut his mouth, refusing to respond. You nodded, and crossed your arms, chuckling to yourself. “I’m late getting ready with Belly. I’ll see you there, asshole.” You made sure to bump his shoulder with yours as you passed, which you regretted.

He grabbed your wrist in his large hand, “Hey.”

His voice was low, almost a warning, as he squeezed your wrist harder, yanking you towards him, his face dangerously close to yours.

“You’re hurting me.”

“Don’t speak to me like that.”

“Let go.”

“Say you’re sorry.”

“Connor-”

“Say,” He tightened his grip and you whimpered, “You’re sorry.”

“I’m sorry.” You tried to keep your tone even, but the words came out like a broken whisper.

He let go suddenly, causing you to stumble backwards. “Good girl. I’ll see you there.”

–

The walk to the Fisher’s was a quick one, and luckily your tears had dissipated by the time you arrived at the front door. There was never a need to knock, not with you.

“Y/n!”

You turned your head to see two of the most radiant women you’ve ever known, gossipping over their glasses of pinot grigio no doubt, both smiling at you with open arms.

You smiled and made your way over, gladly accepting the embraces of the two women, and thanking the Universe that you wore a long sleeve to hide the marks on your wrist.

“Oh it is so good to see you, baby!” Susannah gushed, planting her hands on the side of your face and planting a big kiss on each cheek.

“You’ve gotten so tall, my goodness!” Laurel said, practically looking up at you since you towered over the much smaller woman.

“I know, we’re all growin’ up!”

Susannah covered her ears, “No, no, no! You’re all still my babies!”

You giggled and pulled the blonde woman in for a side hug, resting your head on her shoulder.

“I just can’t believe it. You, Connie, Steve and Tate are all old enough to buy your own wine now!” Susannah said.

“Yup, we don’t have to fill up your vodka bottles with water anymore!”

Laurel and Susannah gasped and you rolled your eyes, “Like you guys didn’t know.”

“Yeah, well we had a feeling, but Jeremiah and Belly better be staying away from you four while you buy your own now!” Laurel said, waving her finger at you, but you could hear the humor in her voice.

You nodded and saluted her, “Scout’s honor, Laur.”

Of course the two moms knew what you kids got up to when they weren’t around during the summer, but they trusted you, and they knew the babies of the group were in good hands as long as you were around.

“Well, get upstairs! Bell’s been eagerly waiting for you to curl her hair.”

You made your way upstairs, pausing when you heard multiple voices coming from Belly’s room, and you took a deep breath, putting on your best smile before you opened the door.

“Finally!” Belly exasperated as soon as the door creaked open. “I need you to curl my hair, Jere keeps fucking it up.”

Your heart swelled at the sight of poor Jeremiah just trying his best to help out his best friend, curling iron in hand.

Steven laid on the bed, cradling a six pack of Coronas as he handed one to you, but not before popping the top off with his teeth.

“You’re gonna lose all your teeth before you’re 40.” You teased.

“Worth it!”

You rolled your eyes and took a swig from your beer, stepping over the discarded clothes on the floor so you could gently take the curling iron from Jeremiah.

“I’ll take it from here, babe.”

“If you would’ve given me like, 5 more minutes I could’ve gotten it down.”

“Uh-huh.”

Belly giggled as you got to work on her hair, taking a break every couple of minutes to sip your beer or take a hit from Steven’s vape while he wasn’t looking.

“So, where's the boy toy?” Jeremiah asked.

You flopped on the bed as you were done with Belly’s hair. “He’s gonna meet us at the party, I think he wanted to take a nap or something before, he was pretty tired from all the driving.”

“You two drove separately?” Steven asked with a raised eyebrow.

You nodded. “Tate went with my parents.”

“Awee I miss your parents! Why haven’t they been over yet?” Jeremiah asked.

“They went straight into town for groceries and errands, they’ll come by tomorrow I’m sure.”

The curly haired boy nodded and went to reach for another beer.

“We’re out!”

You and Steven locked eyes, “Nose goes!”

Both your fingers whipped to your noses at the speed of light, but you were too slow.

“I don’t wanna go alone!” You complained and Steven situated his hands under his head, getting comfortable. “Well you’re gonna have-”

“I’ll go with you.”

You all looked up at Conrad, who was suddenly in the doorway, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

You nodded and stood, telling everyone you’d meet them there with more drinks.

You smiled at Conrad as you passed by him, but of course he didn’t return it, simply just pushing himself off the wall to follow you down the stairs.

You prepared to pull your keys from your purse but Conrad had already grabbed his keys from the hook by the front door.

“I’ll drive.”

You decided against arguing with Conrad, knowing it wouldn’t do any good, so instead you nodded and gave him a weak smile.

“How’s your mom, Con?” “Better. One year cancer free.” You smiled. You remembered the summer that everyone found out, it wasn’t an easy summer. Conrad had told you early on about what he knew, and made you swear not to tell, and of course you didn’t, which caused a nasty fight between you and Jeremiah. He didn’t speak to you until the next summer.

“That’s really good to hear.”

Conrad nodded.

“So, boyfriend?” You rolled your eyes. “That’s all anyone cares about.”

Conrad looked at you for a moment before fixating his eyes back on the road. “Maybe. Is it so bad we all care about who you’re dating.”

You shrugged.

“What’s his name?”

“Connor.”

Conrad snorted.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He shrugged and continued to drive.

You both sat in silence the rest of the very short drive to the liquor store, and both exited his car in sync once you’d arrived.

The bell on the door chimed when you walked in and you smiled, for some reason that chime made you think about how this is only the beginning of the summer. There was so much time left, and you just couldn’t help the small smile that played at your lips.

If Conrad noticed your smile, he didn’t say anything about it, staying quiet, as usual, as he browsed all the beer and seltzer options.

But, of course he noticed the smile. How could he not? That same damn smile that’s made his heart race for his entire goddamn life, the smile that always made him blush and go speechless. Of course he fucking noticed.

Conrad was snapped from his trance when you bumped his shoulder, that captivating smile adorning your face while you held up a bottle of titos and a bag of red solo cups.

Conrad shook his head, “Jesus Christ.”

“Grab the lemonade?” “You tryna get me hammered?” You smirked, “I don’t know. Maybe.”

You readjusted the items in your arms, making your sleeves roll up, and you had completely forgotten about Connor until you saw Conrad’s eyes glued to your wrist.

“What is that?”

“It’s nothing, I- I tripped.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“I tripped.”

You tried to walk away, but Conrad stepped in the way.

“Who did that to you?”

“I told you-”

“Who did that to you.” This time the words tumbled past his lips as a statement, not a question. He knew who did this to you, and he wanted you to say it.

Silence.

“Was it Connor?” “I’m not doing this with you right now, Con.” You said, and spun on your heels the opposite direction to pay for the things in your hands, leaving Conrad alone, holding 2 liters of lemonade.

–

As you parked on the beach, alcohol and red cups in hand, you saw Connor reach out to shake Jeremiah’s hand and it almost felt like everything happened in slow motion, and you’ve never gotten out of a car faster in your life.

“Y/n!”

You ignored Conrad calling your name and rushed to where your boyfriend was introducing himself to your friends, panic rising in your chest at what he could’ve said in your absence.

“There she is!” Jeremiah grinned when he saw you, pulling you in for a hug by the waist, lifting you up and spinning you in the air.

You could practically feel the heat from the steam blowing out of Connor’s ears.

“Hey, guys.” You smiled. “I brought the goods!”

“Lemonade and Titos?! Oh man, Y/n/n, you’re gonna kill us.” Tate laughed as he pulled the contents out of the bag.

“That's our girl!” Steven smiled, wrapping a hand around Shayla’s waist.

“Shayla!” You smiled once you noticed her presence.

“Y/n!”

You both laughed as she pulled you in for a hug, rocking you back and forth.

“So good to see you!” She said. Her cute accent had faded more and more over the years, but it was still there.

“You too! This is my boyfriend,” You decided you should acknowledge him, not wanting to deal with the consequences if you didn’t. “Connor.”

Shayla stuck out her hand with a smile, but all she got from Connor was a head nod, before he focused his attention elsewhere. Shayla smiled awkwardly and stepped back into Steven’s embrace, and your cheeks burned red.

“Connor.” You scolded under your breath, but he didn’t acknowledge you, continuing to sip on his beer.

You let your gaze wander when you felt a pair of eyes on you. Conrad was only a few feet away, his blue eyes staring straight through you over his red solo cup tucked between his lips.

The kind of stare that could make any girl's knees buckle and pupils turn to hearts. It felt like you were the only girl on earth, the only girl to ever exist.

And he was looking at you like that.

You looked down after what felt like an eternity of locking eyes with Conrad Fisher, and busied yourself with making a drink, pouring a larger amount of vodka into the red cup than you normally would, only topping it off with lemonade, and immediately downing the cup before quickly pouring yourself another one.

Connor kept a firm grip on you all night, so firm you were sure there were bruises forming on your hips and shoulders, and the drunker you got, the more tired of it you became.

Conrad kept a close eye on you. Physically, he kept his distance, but his eyes never tore away from you. He saw your grimacing, your uncomfortable cringing and the frown that etched itself onto your face anytime you thought no one was looking.

You tried your best to loosen up, especially when Jeremiah brought his new boo over to meet everyone. You fixed your hair and put on your biggest smile as you shook hands with the boy.

“I’m Hayden!” He smiled, “It’s so nice to meet you all! I’ve heard so much about each of you!”

“Trust me, we’ve heard a LOT about you.” Belly teased, earning a sharp look from Jeremiah.

“All good things, Hayden, we promise!” You reassured him, lightly pinching Belly on the arm, but the girl just giggled.

“Wait a second, Y/n, you have the same tattoo as Jere?” Hayden asked, pointing to the small stingray on your side. You forgot since your long sleeve shirt was so cropped, it was visible.

“Oh, yeah! We all do! Got it the summer baby Bells turned 18!” You smiled, gesturing to the rest of the group, who all slowly revealed their own tattoos on their sides.

“Y/n got stung by a stingray and forced us all to spend a whole week with her on the couch instead of, like, actually doing fun stuff.” Tate explained.

“Hey!” You scolded, “It turned out to be a lot of fun! We made margaritas everyday, and we went outside! I sat on the chair while you guys swam in the pool.”

“Oh, yeah!” Steven laughed, “Conrad was basically her nurse for the week, wouldn’t leave her side.”

“Oh, Y/n, does it hurt? Do you need ice? Oh Y/n, don’t walk, let me carry you!” Jeremiah said in a high pitched voice, hands clutched over his heart, pretending to be a lovesick Conrad.

You looked down at the sand as the rest of the group laughed, not daring to look in the direction of Conrad or Connor.

You were starting to understand the humor in their names.

“Anyway, it turned out to be a memorable week for all six of us, we all got a hell of a lot closer, which we all thought was impossible. So we got stingray tattoos a couple summers later, all thanks to our Y/n!” Jere said, trying his best to break the tension that only he seemed to notice.

“We need to talk.” Connor growled, immediately walking away from the circle, kicking sand in the direction of everyone else as he walked and your heart sank.

Belly shot you a concerned look but you shook your head, urging her to stay out of it, before you pushed your drink into Tate’s hands and followed after Connor a ways down the beach, closer to the water.

You missed the way Conrad’s eyes followed you.

“What’s up?” You asked, seemingly nonchalant as you stuck your hands in your pockets.

“What’s up?” Connor scoffed, shaking his head. “What’s up is that I want you to stay away from Conrad, and Jeremiah for that matter.”

“You’re kidding me, Connor.”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” His face was hard as stone, his teeth clenched and you thought the red solo cup he was clenching was seconds away from turning into dust.

“No, but-”

“But nothing, Y/n. Conrad is basically eye fucking you and I don’t like the way Jeremiah is touchy with you. You show up, alone with Conrad who is obviously into you, and matching stingray tattoos?! You have to be fucking kidding me, this is all so ridiculous.”

“That’s just Jere! He’s like that with everyone, besides, he’s with someone!”

“Who’s a guy! You really think that’s gonna last? What’s he supposed to be, bisexual? He’s just doing it out of boredom and a need for attention. If you think otherwise you’re an idiot.”

You thanked the Universe that Jeremiah was all the way up the beach, just imagining the look on his face if he heard that broke your heart, but barely a second passed before you were fuming, and all you saw was red.

“How fucking dare you?” You seethed.

“You only defended Jeremiah, why not Conrad?” He asked, completely dodging the blatant homophobia he spewed from his mouth just a second before.

“You need to leave.” You said, your voice low. “You need to go back to my house, pack your things and go home.”

“Like hell I am. You need me. You’re not gonna leave me ‘cause you’re scared, aren’t you, princess?” He spat, and your face fell.

“I hate you.” Your tone faltered as tears began to fall down your face.

“You love Conrad, don’t you?” You didn’t respond, only choosing to wrap your arms around yourself and continue to cry, wishing this was just a nightmare.

“Ungrateful slut!”

Connor pushed you and you stumbled back, losing your footing and falling into the water, lightly gasping at the cold.

Conrad was up in a second, being the only one watching you from the group’s spot on the beach, storming towards the two of you, but not making too much of a scene so the other friends wouldn't follow him, but he knew they were too drunk anyway.

He downed the rest of his drink, crushing it in his fist and throwing it in the opposite direction. He’d pick it up tomorrow.

Before he knew it, he had Connor by the neck of his tee shirt, nearly lifting him off of the ground.

“Touch her again, and you’re fucking dead.”

“Con…” Your small voice shook him, and he let go of Connor, but not without a forceful push, who immediately tried to take steps toward you. “WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY?!” Conrad’s voice boomed and your boyfriend raised his hands in surrender, taking his steps backwards.

“It was an accident-”

“Shut up.” Conrad’s breathing was becoming uneven, and you could tell he was getting angry.

“Connor, just go home, okay? That’s enough.”

Connor grumbled and rolled his eyes but eventually turned away, walking down the beach in the complete opposite direction of your house.

“Come on.” Conrad gestured for you to take his hands, and you did, allowing him to help you up.

“Will you take me home?”

“Mine or yours?” “Yours. Please yours.”

“Always.” –

Everyone decided to just come home with you guys, all of their eyelids heavy with sleep and brains fogged over from the alcohol.

Tate decided to stay over as well, claiming he was too tired to walk all the way back to your house across the street, but you didn’t blame him, it sounded like a pretty far walk to you too.

Belly let you borrow clothes and use her shower and face wash, and when you were done the poor girl was already fast asleep in a starfish position in bed. You smiled and shut the door as lightly as you could before making your way down the stairs, the couch would suffice for one night.

But there he was, Conrad Fisher, in all his glory, sitting on the couch and staring out the window, wide awake.

“Hey, Con-” “I have to tell your family, you know that don’t you?”

Your heart sank.

“Conrad, please-”

The boy turned to look at you, sadness heavy in his ocean eyes.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to?” “That was only the first time something like that’s happened-”

“Y/n-”

“I swear I’m not just some pathetic girl that lets a guy throw her around like a ragdoll-”

“Y/n/n…”

“I just- I can’t breathe, Conrad.”

Conrad was up off the couch in the blink of an eye, immediately in front of you with his hands firmly holding the sides of your face.

“I know.” He whispered, taking deep breaths in hopes that you’d subconsciously copy them.

“You got it.” He praised, his thumb lightly stroking your cheekbone.

You shook your head, eyes wide with fear, but Conrad only nodded.

“Keep following my breaths, you’re halfway there.”

You did as he said, because you’d do just about anything Conrad Fisher said.

“Y/n/n, what is going on?” He asked once you’d calmed down, his hands still not leaving your face.

You sighed and brought your own hands up to hold his wrists closing your eyes.

“Hey.” He said, shaking his hands just slightly so you’d look at him. “I won’t say anything, if you just tell me.”

So, you took a deep breath, and you told him everything.

–

It had only been a couple weeks since the incident, and Conrad kept to his word. You told him everything, trying your best to keep your tears at bay while Conrad wiped the few stray ones that escaped from your eyes. You told him you just needed some time, if you broke up with Connor now, the summer wouldn’t end well, and you were terrified of what he’d do if you left. Conrad tried to convince you that so many people had your back, and there was nothing to be scared of, but you just shook your head. You had to do this on your own time, and eventually, after hours of talking, Conrad agreed to keep your secret.

And Connor had kept it civil since then as well, staying calm for the sake of not getting the shit beat out of him by your brother, and things were almost perfect. It was just like old times, volleyball at the beach, taco night every Tuesday, and of course, Belly’s birthday.

You and Tate helped Laurel, Susannah and Steven set up the kitchen for breakfast and presents, trying your best to be silent as to not wake everyone else in the house, but of course you all ended up giggling a bit too loudly anyway, because Conrad and Jeremiah came trudging down the stairs, rubbing sleep out of their eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry boys! Did we wake you?” Susannah cooed, pinching both of their cheeks, getting the boys to smile.

“Nah, it’s Belly’s birthday! ‘Course we’re awake.” Jeremiah said with a sleepy smile.

You always adored the love the two boys had for Belly. Jeremiah would throw her over his shoulder and exclaim “This is my best friend!” Making other girls go green with envy, but he never cared, she was his best friend, and he wanted the world to know it.

Conrad was more subtle, you always noticed how his eyes searched for her at parties, and once he had eyes on her and saw that she was safe and smiling, he’d visibly relax and get back to whatever conversation he was having.

It was precious.

“There she is!” You beamed when Belly came down the stairs, hair and makeup already done, with a smile on her face.

“Happy birthday Bells!” You bounded over to her and everyone else followed, pulling the birthday girl in for a big hug, swaying her back and forth.

“I just want my pancakes!” She groaned, but you could see the smile and blush that overtook her face.

Laurel rolled her eyes and brought her daughter in for a solo hug, kissing the side of her face, “Alright, alright, missy. Let’s get to it then!”

Belly happily ate her minnie mouse pancakes and opened each present, giggling like a little girl over how much she loved all of them and giving everyone separate hugs, thanking them a thousand times over.

“Where’s Connor?” Susannah asked as the two of you were putting discarded gift wrap and tissue paper into trash bags. Belly and Jeremiah left, going for a morning birthday swim with Hayden, Laurel went to take a nap, and Tate, Steven and Conrad were playing video games in the other room.

“He, uh, wanted to sleep in.” You said, faking a smile.

Susannah paused for a moment, before continuing to pick up trash. “Well, you tell that boy if he wants to be a part of this family then he has to join all the traditions next year.” You laughed and nodded, “I will.”

Susannah set the trash bag on the floor and patted the couch next to her, you obliged.

“You can tell me anything, you know that honey?” You nodded, “Of course.”

The blonde woman kissed your head and smiled. “Alright. Well, this mama needs a nap. Too much excitement for one morning.”

You nodded and bid her a “goodnight”, then went to check and see how the boys were doing with their video game.

“Little sisterrrrr!” Tate exclaimed as you walked into the room, plopping yourself down next to Conrad, who didn’t seem to want to look at you.

“What are you guys up to in here?” “Killin’ zombies.” Steven answered, not moving his focus from the TV screen.

“What’s the plan for today?”

Steven shrugged and you gasped. “It’s your sister’s birthday!”

“Then we’ll do whatever she wants to do when she gets back, jeez!” Steven said, still not moving his gaze from the TV.

The boys got back into the flow of the game, and you took your opportunity to look at Conrad, who, unbeknownst to you, was extremely aware of your eyes on him.

How could he not when he felt like his skin was on fire every time your eyes graced his frame?

He took a chance and looked at you out of the corner of his eye and you could feel your cheeks heat up as you tried to hide a smile, suddenly very interested in whatever was going on in their video game and Conrad could feel his heart swell. He did that.

But his heart only deflated once more when your phone lit up with a text from Connor.

It was gonna be a long fucking summer.

“Uh, Connor just texted me, he wants to know the plans for the day, should I just tell him to meet us here?”

“Hell yeah, tell Con to come on over.” Tate said.

Conrad felt an angry bubble in his stomach, that was his nickname.

Ever since you were little, everyone’s nickname for him was Connie, but you decided to call him Con, you claimed it was different, it set you apart from everyone else. He didn’t have the heart to tell you it really wasn’t that much different, because there weren’t many nicknames for his name, but he liked that it made you happy that you had a special one.

And now Connor was coming in to take that from him.

“Hey guys.” Connor greeted as he entered the room, a small smile on his face that quickly faltered when he made eye contact with Conrad. You told Connor that he was going to keep your secret, but he still felt uneasy in his presence.

Which is exactly what Conrad wanted.

“What’s the plan for today?” Connor asked, taking a seat next to you, throwing an arm over your shoulders.

“There’s a party tonight somewhere, I don’t really remember where, Shayla texted me about it.”

“Sweet.”

After a couple more minutes of awkward silence, the only noise being the sound of zombies dying and guns firing from the TV, the morning swim trio appeared in the living room, all already showered and dressed for the day.

“Hey, happy birthday Belly!” Connor said, digging through his pockets and handing the younger girl a small envelope. You were completely taken back, you hadn’t expected Connor to get her anything, let alone even acknowledge her birthday.

It was a silly card, a giraffe wearing a party hat, and inside was a messily scribbled, “Happy birthday Belly! -Connor” and a $50 bill.

“Connor.” You said, your voice light, impressed by the boy’s actions.

“Wow, thank you, Connor!” Belly said before running up to her room to stash her cash.

“You didn’t have to do that, babe.”

Babe.

“She’s like your little sister, of course I did! I know how special her birthday is around here.” He said before kissing your head and you smiled.

“You’re alright, Con.” Steven said, pointing to him.

Con.

Lord help Conrad Fisher.

The day had gone by agonizingly slow, you had a new found likeness for Connor and were attached to him all day, holding his hand and giggling at his dumb jokes, and Conrad felt like he was going to vomit. By the time the sun went down, and the group decided to head to the party, Conrad was ready for a drink, or 10.

And of course, Connor offered to be the DD.

How nice.

Conrad disappeared upon arrival, looking for the alcohol and a random girl he could at least makeout with to get his mind off of you and Connor. Just drink, makeout and get the fuck out, that was the plan.

But of course, this was summer in Cousins, and it was the Fisher’s, Conklin’s and Y/L/N’s, nothing ever went to fucking plan.

Usually, you never let yourself get too drunk, especially around Belly and Jeremiah, because you swore to their moms you’d always look out for them, but you were feeling especially carefree tonight, and Connor was actually being sweet, so you started chugging.

“So, you all smitten for Con now?” Conrad asked as he approached you from behind at the drink table, and you turned to look at him cocking your head.

“Wha-”

“Come on. You cry to me about how much you hate him and now you’re all up on him.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Yeah, maybe I wanna give the relationship that I have a chance, would that be so bad?”

Conrad clenched his teeth. “He pushed you, Y/n.”

“Like a month ago.”

“It’s been 2 weeks.”

“God, same thing! He was drunk and frustrated, it hasn’t happened since!” “And your wrist.”

“Fuck you, Conrad.”

Conrad laughed, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What did I do? Huh? Fuck that guy-” He pointed to Connor, who was taking a shot with Belly while exclaiming Happy Birthday, “Who put his hands on my girl.”

You raised an eyebrow and Conrad cursed under his breath.

“Your girl? Seriously?”

Own up to it, Con.

“Yeah. Seriously.”

“Forget it.” You spat before walking away, and “accidentally” stepping on his toe, causing Conrad to grimace, but he kept his mouth shut.

You maneuvered your way through the party, double fisting two drinks since one was for Jeremiah but you decided to walk in the opposite direction, desperately needing to cool off before you rejoined your friends.

You felt a hand around your waist and you groaned, quickly whipping around to who you thought would be Conrad.

“Conrad, I swear-”

“Conrad?” The stranger inquired, a playful smirk on his lips. “I’m way more handsome than that punk.”

You swallowed as you stared at the guy, perfectly gelled blond hair, blue eyes, and fucking boat shoes. You were screwed.

“Excuse me.” You said, trying to move past him but he held his grip tight on you.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“I just-”

“Yeah you’re not just anything, sweetheart. Come on.” He said, beginning to pull you up the stairs.

Conrad. You wanted Conrad. No, fuck that, you needed Conrad.

“CON!” You screamed without thinking, and the stranger that had you in his hold groaned and let go of you, he figured you were yelling for Conrad Fisher, and he knew better than to get in that guy’s face.

You were left alone on the stairs, breathing heavily with your hand clutched to your chest, tears threatening to spill when Connor appeared in front of you. “Hey, babe. I’m right here, what happened?”

“That guy-” You pointed in his direction, but you were cut off upon seeing Conrad right behind your boyfriend, out of breath.

Connor thought you’d called for him.

And they both came.

“Let’s get you home, okay?” Connor said and you nodded, not breaking your eye contact with Conrad, who’s pretty blue eyes were piercing right through you.

You let Connor lead you to his car, assuring everyone that you were fine, just didn’t feel good, and after Shayla told Connor she could take everyone home, that she hadn’t been drinking either, you were on your way home.

–

You woke up to what looked like about a million text messages. The first one you saw being from Conrad.

Con: text me when u get home safe.

Con: i’m sorry.

You furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head, you’d deal with him later.

Then you scrolled more.

Tate: Come to the Fisher’s when you wake up.

Mom: Hi honey, call me when you wake up.

Bells: Please come over as soon as you’re awake.

Bells: Don’t bring Connor.

And a million more missed calls from Belly, Steven, Tate, your mom, and Laurel. You were concerned about the lack of notifications from Conrad, Jeremiah and Susannah.

What the actual fuck? You were in a full blown panic now. Ripping the blankets off of your body, not bothering to put on any actual clothes, or shoes, and running straight across the street to your friend’s house, yanking open the door.

You hurried further into the house, rounding the corner into the kitchen, and you were greeted by a very distressed Jeremiah, sitting on a stool at the kitchen island.

“Jere? What the fuck is going on?”

The boy turned to look at you and your heart broke, the pain was written all over his face.

“It’s back.” He said, his voice cracking.

Fuck.

“Oh my god…”

“The cancer’s fucking back.” He broke, his body slumped over the counter and he gripped his hair in his hands so forcefully you were afraid he’d rip it out as his body racked with sobs.

“Fuck, Jere.” You exhaled, moving quickly to pull your best friend off of the kitchen counter and into your arms, which he did willingly, and he held onto you tighter than he ever had.

You stood like that for along time, Jeremiah still sitting with his face buried in your shoulder, heart wrenching cries falling past his lips as your tee shirt started to get so wet it stuck to your skin, but you really didn’t give a fuck.

You weren’t sure how long Susannah had been standing there, you weren’t even sure how long you had been standing there, but when you looked up to see the blonde woman in the doorway, she was smiling sadly, wiping a stray tear.

“Suze…” You said and held an arm out, still holding Jeremiah close, not wanting to be the one to let go of him first.

She joined the embrace, and only then did you allow yourself to cry. You wanted so badly to be strong for Jere, but it was hard when the woman you considered a mother, sometimes even more than your own, was so sick, once again.

“I love you.” You said, trying your best to keep your voice even, even though it was uncontrollably shaking.

“I love you so much more, baby.” She said, kissing the top of your head.

“Let’s go outside with the others, Jere.” She said once she pulled away, helping up her son and smiling when he wrapped an arm around her, assisting her to the backyard.

“Connie’s in his bedroom.” Susannah said, squeezing your hand. “I think he really needs you.”

You nodded and wiped your tears. The last thing you wanted was to let Conrad see your tears, he’d immediately close his emotions off so he could be there for you. That was just who he was.

If you thought Jeremiah had broken your heart, Conrad had completely shattered it.

He was laying sideways in a fetal position on his bed, his head where his feet would normally be, his hand clutching the comforter beneath him as he sobbed and you wasted no time laying down with him and wrapping your arms around him from behind. You replaced the comforter with your hand, letting him squeeze the shit out of it while you held him close, leaving chaste kisses on his shoulder and the back of his neck.

“This is bullshit.” He sobbed, “That’s my fucking mom!”

You tried so hard to resist crying with him, but it was too hard to keep in, and before you knew it the tears were flowing down your cheeks and onto your neck.

“I’m so sorry, Conrad.” You whispered and he didn’t respond. What was he supposed to say? That it’s okay? It wasn’t. It was far from okay. The world was cruel and it was never okay.

“I’m right here, I’m here.” You said, your words were barely even breaths, so gentle against his skin as you tried your best to hide your tears.

When he felt the gentle shake of your body he turned in your arms and wrapped his own around you. Of course, he knew how much his mom meant to you, she’d been there for you since the beginning. The 3 summers that your mom didn’t join because she decided to pack up and leave you, your brother and your dad, Susannah made sure she stepped up for all the mom duties. The first summer your mom rejoined the family and you refused to stay in a house with her, you stayed at the Fisher’s. The summer when your migraines got so bad you could barely leave the house for a week straight, Susannah let you sleep in her bed, because you claimed it was the comfiest one you’d ever been in the summer before.

“I’m so sorry about-” Conrad started, but you immediately shook your head. “Doesn’t matter.”

Conrad nodded, and the two of you held each other for a really long time, so long that you must’ve fallen asleep, because next thing you knew, your eyes shot open, and it was dark outside.

Did you sleep all day?

You were still wrapped up in Conrad’s arms, and your heart melted at the soft breaths that escaped from his lips.

How could you ever even consider working things out with Connor?

After the way he talked about your friends, the things he said about Jeremiah, the way he put his hands on you, how could you ever even have thought about choosing him over the boy whose arms you were currently wrapped up in?

You reached up and ran a finger across his cheekbone, smiling when he nuzzled closer to you under your touch, and placed a soft kiss on his jaw.

The answer was clear, but you could only wish it was that simple.

–

“Yo, Connor! Wanna be my pong partner?!” Jeremiah enthused, running up to you and your boyfriend like a puppy dog.

You nudged Connor, encouraging him to go and he said yes, clapping Jeremiah on the back and calling him “buddy”. It was going to be the two of them, vs Conrad and Tate, the two people that Connor should never fuck with.

It was the 4th of July, and usually, all of the adults were present for the barbecue and fireworks, but apparently Susannah had a new boyfriend, who owned a yacht, and he invited all of them onto his boat for the day.

Go Susannah.

After the news of her cancer coming back, everyone was really shaken, but she assured everyone she was going to fight even harder this time, and no one deserved a tipsy day on a boat with a handsome man more than Susannah did.

You sat on a lawn chair, sipping on a vodka lemonade with Hayden and Belly, giggling at their friendly banter of who they thought was going to win. You glanced at Steven and Shayla across the pool, smiling to yourself as you caught a sweet kiss between the two of them.

Connor would never kiss you like that.

“Earth to Y/n!”

You snapped out of your trance and fixed your eyes on Jere, who was looking at you like he was waiting for an answer.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Jeremiah just giggled, “Who do you think made it in first?? Connor or Conrad?”

You looked between the two boys, contemplating your decision.

“Um, Connor.”

Connor and Jeremiah both yelled in victory, hands up in the air before they hugged, jumping up and down.

You sneaked a glance at Conrad, who was already looking at you. Eyes squinted.

It was gonna be a long fucking summer.

You ended up having to put Connor to bed up in Steven’s room, who told you he wasn’t even going to be staying there tonight anyway while he winked at Shayla.

Your boyfriend had probably had a little bit more than one too many shots, considering the fact that he was mostly taking them by himself, so everyone else still had energy for at least another 5 hours, Connor was down for the count.

You tucked him in and left a glass of water and a bottle of tylenol on the nightstand, and a bucket on the floor just in case, then you turned out the light and shut the door, bounding down the stairs with a grin.

You were more than happy to get rid of Connor for a few hours.

You approached the group, all standing in a circle outside, playfully arguing about something and stood on your tippy toes to wrap an arm around Conrad’s shoulders and rest your chin on his shoulder.

Conrad smiled and gripped your wrist in his hand before leaning forward, bringing you up off of the ground and readjusting you so you were fully wrapped around him, before standing straight again and locking his arms around the back of your knees.

“Hi Y/n/n.” He said, turning his head to try and get even a small glimpse of you.

“Hi, Con.” You whispered, and his legs felt like jello.

For a second, Conrad forgot anybody else was even there, it felt like just the two of you. It was cheesy, of course it was, but sometimes cheesy is just reality. You were the only other person there.

“Looks like Y/n chose the wrong Con!” Tate teased and just like that, the moment was ruined. You frowned and slid off of Conrad’s back, the boy already missing the feeling of you around him, your soft cheek squished on his shoulder.

“Way to make it weird, Tate.” You muttered under your breath and Tate rolled his eyes.

“It was a joke! Come on, the sun hasn’t even set yet. Another round of shots?” Your brother asked, slowly walking backwards towards the kitchen, waiting for everyone to follow him.

Belly was the first, then Shayla, then Steven, then Jeremiah and Hayden, and eventually it was just you and Conrad outside.

“You wanna join them?” Conrad asked and you shrugged.

“Come on.” He encouraged, gesturing his head inside and you rolled your eyes, but still had the ghost of a smile on your list.

“Shots?” He asked.

“Yeah, yeah.” You playfully shoved him and he snatched your wrist, pulling you into his side and throwing his arm over your shoulder.

You did a round of shots, then you did two, then eventually three, and before you knew it everyone was laughing their asses off about some story Jeremiah was telling about how the two of you got hammered last summer and woke up on a random guy’s boat in the middle of the bay.

“I’m pretty sure Jere was still drunk.” You giggled, wiping a tear from your eye that had formed from your laughter.

And surprise, surprise, Conrad couldn't take his eyes off of you the entire time.

You were just so pretty, and his mom always said that pretty things were made to be admired.

“You guys.” Jeremiah said, slamming his hands on the counter, eyes wide, causing everyone to slightly jump.

“Sun’s down.”

You turned your head to look out the french doors, the sun did indeed go down, and you could already see a couple stray fireworks in the distance.

Everyone shared a look then ran out the door to get to the beach and start the fireworks, but before you could make it out the door, someone grabbed your hand, and you turned to see Conrad, his eyes shining.

“Night swim?”

And how could you say no to that face?

You nodded and laced your fingers through his, allowing him to lead the way out to the docks and giggling when he picked up the pace, running like a little kid to jump in the water with his childhood crush.

It was perfect.

As soon as you arrived on the edge you threw off your shorts and tossed your phone on top of them, already in a bikini, and jumped in, Conrad not far behind you.

You emerged from the water and smiled, covering your eyes with your hands to rub out any water that had made its way in, and when you opened your eyes to find Conrad, he was already in front of you, looking at you with those fucking ocean eyes. Fireworks exploding in an extraordinary glow right behind him.

“What?”

“You’re so pretty.” He breathed out, as if the words had been caught in his mouth for so long, and relief washed over his body when he finally released them.

You looked away, shaking your head as you curled your toes into the rough sand below you. You were barely touching the bottom, still having to halfway keep yourself afloat.

“You’re drunk, Con.” You said, looking down at the black water.

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what, Conrad?”

“Use the fact that I’m drunk to deflect. I may be drunk but I have eyes.”

You looked up from the water and sighed. “Really pretty ones.” You said, your voice faltering towards the end of your sentence, trying not to cry.

He really knew how to do it, hi and those pretty blue eyes and pillowy lips.

You were in love with Conrad Fisher.

“Why’re you crying?” He asked, wading closer to you, causing the water around your shoulders to slosh.

“I can’t.”

“You can’t what, pretty girl?” His voice was soft as a feather, and God, his lips were getting dangerously close to yours.

“I can’t love you.”

“You love me?”

“I can’t.” You cried. “I can’t just kiss you and pretend like it means nothing.”

“It’s not nothing.”

You shook your head, biting your lip.

“Y/n, I love you.”

“Conrad-”

He secured his hands on either side of your neck, just below your ears and you wanted to pull away, but you couldn’t. How could you when he’s looking at you like that?

“Please, Y/n.”

“I still have a boyfriend, Con.”

“I don’t care.”

He inched forward just barely, but it was enough to make the butterflies in your stomach erupt, you felt like they were trying to crawl up your throat.

“I just need your lips on mine. Even if I never get them again. Please, just this once. Y/n.” He was begging. He breathed out your name at the end of the sentence like a prayer and before you could even think about it, you nodded. And as fucking cheesy as it was, the firework show finale began,

And his lips were on yours.

You could’ve cried from the feeling of Conrad’s lips on your own.

His hands traveled down to your waist, then your hips and to your thighs before he lifted you up, urging you to wrap your legs around his waist and you did, immediately tangling your fingers in his hair, not once did the two of you disconnect your lips from one another.

It was desperate and messy, but it was perfect. His hands splayed across your back and squeezed your sides, and your hips before he pulled away, not even sparing a glance up at you as he planted kisses down your throat and shoulder, and that little spot right under your ear that made you whimper.

His lips came right back to yours in one last sweet kiss before he lowered you back into the water, his eyes glued to yours.

“I love you, Y/n. Please.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but was immediately interrupted by voices coming from the house.

Fuck.

“Under the dock.” He said, pulling you with him as you both swam underneath the wooden surface.

“Conrad-”

He immediately brought his hand up to cover your mouth, bringing up his other hand to put a finger to his lips, signaling you to be quiet.

“Where the fuck did they go?” Jeremiah’s muffled voice sounded from above you, footsteps pacing back and forth.

“Maybe they’re finally confessing their undying love for each other.” Belly said.

“Don’t think Connor would like that too much.” Steven responded.

“Who cares, that guy’s a dick. I say, ‘dump his ass’!” Hayden joked and everyone laughed, footsteps fading down the dock, giving up on finding the two of you out here.

Once you were sure they were gone, you pulled away from him. “You dummy!”

“What? I just saved our asses.”

“We could’ve just said we decided to go for a night swim, the fact that we’re gonna show up completely soaked with no explanation is going to be way more suspicious!!”

Conrad just smiled and cocked his head as you rambled.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re in love with me.”

“Would that be so bad?” “Yes.”

–

Things had been terrible since the kiss. You could barely look at Conrad or Connor. And your constant bickering with Connor started back up again, he was back to his old self. You should’ve known that sweet facade was going to fade soon. He was just jealous of Conrad, but he couldn’t keep up the act anymore.

It was nearing the end of July, and the whole group was lazing around the Fisher’s house. You all spent the whole day at the beach yesterday, and you were tuckered out, all agreeing to just chill around the house. Laurel and Susannah had been gone all day, doing God knows what (edibles on the beach), so you were able to roam the house freely.

Until Jeremiah suggested a game, which turned into a drinking game, which turned into a mini party outside with just you and your friends. It was honestly nice, some summer beach playlist was playing through the speakers, the boys set up a game of pong (you even got to beat Steven and Jeremiah’s asses in the game with Tate), and half eaten snacks littered the outdoor table.

And of course, everyone was hammered by the time the sun began to set, but all you could focus on was Conrad’s eyes lingering on you.

“Babyyyy…” Connor stumbled over to where you were standing, leaning your weight against the side of the house.

“Hi.” You said, amusement in your tone.

“Let’s go inside.” He slurred, trying to push you towards the french doors.

You looked around, everyone was still partying and having fun. It hadn’t gotten to the point where everyone was breaking off into their respective couples with locked lips yet. Jere, Belly and Tate were having a handstand contest, which Conrad, Hayden and Steven were judging, Shayla was facetiming one of her friends, no doubt gushing to them about Steven.

“Not right now, everyone’s still having fun.”

“But we could be off having more fun.”

You shook your head. “Maybe later, okay?”

“Come onnnn.” He tried to persuade you by leaving kisses down your throat and exposed chest, only barely covered by a black bikini top.

You couldn’t help but close your eyes and sigh a bit, your hand coming up to tangle your fingers in his hair, your mind playing flashes of your kiss with Conrad under the fireworks at the dock. The way his hands explored your body, the way he confessed his love for you with so much passion and emotion–

“Seriously, Conrad…”

Shit.

Connor immediately disconnected from you, pulling back to stare at you with wide eyes.

“The fuck did you just call me?”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Conrad? Are you fucking serious?”

“I- I’m drunk, and your names are so similar.” You panicked, trying to clean up the mess you just made but it was too late, you were pushed up against the wall with Connor’s hand around your throat. Your instinct was to try and pry his hands off of you, but he was so much stronger than you, and fighting wasn’t doing you any good.

He was squeezing hard, and you tried to use your voice to call for your brother, Conrad, Jeremiah, fucking anybody, but you couldn’t. The only sounds coming from you were strangled cries and choking.

“Hey!” You heard a voice call from the pool, and the sounds of water sloshing and panicked screams rang through the air, and suddenly Connor was ripped off of you by Tate and you gasped for air, your hands immediately flying to your throat as wet coughs erupted from your chest.

“That’s my fucking sister!” Tate roared, his fist flying through the air and hitting Connor across the face, sending him flying backwards onto the concrete. He was picked up off of the ground by Steven and Hayden only for them to push him into Jeremiah’s awaiting fist.

“Guys please-” You tried but no one was listening except for Belly and Shayla, who were trying to usher you inside.

Finally Conrad stepped in, grabbing Connor by the collar of his shirt once again as he leaned in, his voice so low and menacing it sent a chill down your spine.

“What did I say would happen if you touched her again?”

His eyes were dark, so dark that if you were looking at them for the first time, you probably wouldn’t even know they were blue, and his chest was heaving so rapidly you were worried he was gonna get dizzy.

You wanted to intervene, but you were so overwhelmed and overcome with panic you couldn’t speak as Conrad slammed your boyfriend into the ground, only to pick him back up and Slam him into the wall, his large hand around his throat, in the exact same position he had you in.

“Doesn’t feel so good, does it?” Conrad all but growled.

“I didn’t mean-”

“Shut up.” His tone was flat as he stared at him, and Belly reached for your hand. You took it and squeezed, pulling her behind you. Steven had already done the same with Shayla.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen.” He said, “You’re gonna go across the street with Tate or Steven or whoever the fuck else, you’re gonna pack up your shit, and you’re gonna leave. Do I make myself clear?”

“She just-”

“DO I make myself clear?!” He barked and you flinched. Conrad was broody and intimidating, sure, but he was gentle. This was a side of him you were sure no one else had ever seen before.

Connor nodded and Conrad let him go, turning to you. His demeanor immediately softened when his eyes met yours, and a wave of relief washed over you so forcefully you began to cry, Belly was quick to pull you into her arms, ushering you inside.

Steven assured Tate and Jermiah that he and Hayden would take Connor across the street to pack his things, and that you probably needed them more than ever now, and they’d be back soon.

“Tate I have to tell you–” “Did you know, Con?” Tate asked slowly, almost as if he didn’t want to ask, because he didn’t want to know the answer.

“‘What did I say would happen if you ever touched her again?’” Tate quoted Conrad’s words to him, and he wanted to throw up.

“You knew that piece of shit was hurting my sister, and you didn’t fucking say anything?!”

“Listen-”

“No, fuck you!” Tate spat. “That’s my sister, man. That’s Y/n.”

“Let him talk, T.” Jeremiah said, placing a hand on Tate’s shoulder but he jerked himself away.

“Fuck that.” He turned to storm away, opposite the direction of the house but Conrad stopped him.

“That’s your sister, Tate. Are you gonna storm off in a fit of rage or are you gonna go inside and hug your sister, who’s scared shitless?”

Tate just looked at him, eyes empty.

“I wanted to tell you. I almost did. She insisted she was going to do it herself, she didn’t want to turn it into something it didn’t need to be, alright? She just took a little longer than expected.”

Tate didn’t respond, only gave Conrad a curt nod before continuing to walk away from the house. “I just need a minute.”

Tate walked out the back and onto the beach, digging his hands in his pockets.

“Is it too soon to ask what you guys were doing during the fireworks?”

Conrad huffed out a laugh and clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“Under the deck, dickhead.”

“Seriously?!”

Conrad nodded and Jeremiah threw his head back, pretending to be disgusted. “Rascals.” The pair stopped right outside the french doors, taking in a deep breath before they entered the house. “Y/n’s a badass.” Jeremiah said, glancing at his older brother, who nodded, before putting his hand on the doorknob and pushing, allowing the two to walk into the house.

You sat at the kitchen island, Belly and Shayla both on the other side of the granite, staring at you with concerned eyes.

Jeremiah moved first, pulling out the stool next to yours and positioning his head so he was eye level with you, a small smile on his face.

“Hey, buddy.”

“Hi.” You rasped and his smile sank.

The curly headed boy brought his hand up to wipe a fleck of dust off of your eyebrow before placing a kiss on the top of your head, and you sank into him.

“That was kinda scary, huh?” Jere asked and you nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“First of all, I never want you to apologize to me again.”

You giggled.

“And second of all, why?”

You sighed and shrugged. “I feel like an idiot. I ruined everything. I scared you.”

Jeremiah shook his head, wrapping his arms fully around you, resting his cheek on top of your head. “You didn’t ruin anything, alright?”

You nodded and sniffled, a tear rolling down your cheek, which Jeremiah was quick to wipe.

“No tears, alright?” Even though he was blinking back his own. He kissed your head one last time before disconnecting himself to you, and gesturing his head to the stairs, signaling for the girls to follow him upstairs. He couldn’t wait to tell them about the dock.

You and Conrad were left alone, and his presence was not easy to ignore.

He slowly made his way over to the stool Jeremiah had just been in and sat down, his eyes taking over your frame and wincing.

“Can I?” He asked and you nodded. He brought his hand up to brush your hair out of the way and he whined when it revealed the angry bruise covering your neck.

“It hurts.”

“I know, baby. I know.” He said, pulling you off of the stool and picking you up bridal style so he could take you up to his room.

Neither of you missed the hushed whispers from behind Jeremiah’s closed door.

Conrad pulled back the covers and laid you down, quick to follow and pull you close to him.

“I’m really scared, Con.” You said, your voice small as you cuddled impossibly closer.

“You’re safe. I promise you are. I’m right here, okay?” He assured you, his hand cradling the back of your head and the other lightly trailing the skin of your back.

“I love you.” You said, and Conrad visibly relaxed at your confession.

“I love you more, my girl.”

–

Those damn ocean eyes.

Conrad smiled at you from across the bonfire and you blew a kiss back. Which he pretended to catch and put in his pocket.

Conrad Fisher. Catching a kiss and putting it in his pocket. Who would've thought?

It was mid August. The summer was coming to an end, but you still had a couple of weeks left, and you were all soaking up every last second of it.

Conrad had, of course, asked you to be his girlfriend as soon as the water settled, and of course you said yes. Tate and Conrad made up, giving each other a big bro hug, and your brother finally talked to you once he calmed down, giving you that big, comforting, big brother hug as you cried. And of course he swore to kill Connor next time he saw him. Susannah found an amazing program that had a huge success rate, and everyone was hopeful.

Your boyfriend made his way over to you, wrapping a hand around your waist and pulling you into him before he planted a kiss on your lips.

“Pretty girl.” He mumbled, a tipsy smile pulling at his lips.

“My blue eyed boy.” You responded, throwing your arms around his shoulders, an open invitation for him to pick you up and spin you, that melodic laugh of yours that he just adored sang from your lips.

“We’re you callin for me that night at the party?” He asked, a teasing smile on his face.

“Not funny, Con.”

“‘Course it isn’t. Just wonderin’.” His words were slurring and he was just so beautiful.

“Yes.” You admitted, rolling your eyes.

“Knew it.” He said, peppering your face with kisses while you giggled and tangled your fingers through his hair.

He swore he’d never be happier than he was at that moment.

But they had a whole life ahead of them,

And the story of Conrad Fisher and Y/n Y/l/n had just begun.

I love a cheesy ending.

taglist: @colbysbrocks @prettysummerbaby @sortagaysortahigh @hpboysslut2707

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