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apostate00 · 10 days

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ALRIGHT, ANTIRAD LORE!!!

This will be more of a collection of thoughts and texts, with occasional proper writing, because I haven't compiled it into one text yet, so if some wording is a bit awkward, and thoughts seem to jump back and forth, that is why, please bear with me! :D

This is gonna be a long read, over 2k words.

I have also started writing an actual fic about it, if you're interested:

But without further ado, let's dive into it!

Anti-Radical becoming more and more Radical, catching odd glances from his Centrist allies, but he denies being radical wholeheartedly.

Idk how long you can deny your radicalisation into a different ideology, my friend.

He secretly survived Ancap shooting him, retreating out of Centricity to a secluded place, patching himself up, however becoming increasingly angry with more and more undeniably radical thoughts that stopped fully coming from the place of his supposed original ideological reasoning, and a genuine, deep rage.

Imaging his skin tone shifting to more fit the one of a radical ideology and he gets so scared by that, ripping him out of his spiralling thoughts and pushes him to return to the Centrists, scared of what he would become if he kept himself isolated.

It's interesting, he obviously is against any and all radicals but also I feel after almost being killed & his plans being foiled he hates Ancap just a bit more than all the other radicals.

He tries to hide the places of his body that have started to shift in color. Imagine the eye behind his eye patch despite still being blind, has changed color as well.

He's denying it himself so hard and also tries to keep it from the other Centrists.

He totally still fits into the Overton Window, totally doesn't believe all radicals, especially Ancaps, should be exterminated or subjugated, and a totalitarian-esque system (of course he'd never call it that, totalitarian is a radical word after all) should be put in place that ensures everyone be non-radical too.

Pshhh, he would never, who would support a weird twisted Centrist version of Fascism, not him.

He would be... well, off-compass. Not in any of the quadrants since he wants all of them to die.

Him turning on the Centrists because they're too radical in being complacent.

Tempted to make his eyes red simply based on his stronger hatred for Ancap specifically.

Man, imagine while he's still in strong denial, he meets another extremist who just kinda pauses, eyes him up and down, and goes, "...you're not a centrist.. i don't know WHAT you are" (they can feel the shift in his energy, clearly different from the mellow one most Centrists have, but also distinct from the vibe the other extremists give off).

THIS NEXT LITTLE TEXT MIGHT BE DUE TO CHANGE!!!

AntiRad losing it during one of their Centrist meetings and pointing his knife at Moderate Lee for "radical complacency" (not being unradical™ enough to be anti-radical)

He then gets toppled by the other Centrists, narrowly escaping being killed (again) as he was already being scrutinized and now has been classified as a threat since he has "gone off the deep end" and is clearly not a regular Centrist anymore

The other Centrists are very distressed at AntiRad being lose, clearly now being a threat, they can't quite calculate/place.

Moderate Lee is especially shook, wondering what happened to him to become like this :(

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AntiRad escaping from Centricity, getting out of the Overton Window, but not really finding a safe space to stay and patch himself up for a while cuz yk, there's a war going on, so in his desperation he slips through the cracks, completely out of the compass.

The void found beyond seems to seep into the cracks of his mind, his identity, using his emotions of his ostracization to further corrupt who he used to be.

Beyond the compass, its a no man's land, just before passing into the realm of the off compass.

I'd imagine there are gateways that connect the two properly, but obviously, AntiRad wouldn't know about them

He'd make it through though, (part) of his self warped and yet not destroyed, his ideological sense already being unreal enough beforehand to make it.

I'd imagine some ideologies that are deeply rooted in reality and sense in some way or form would completely lose themselves in that no man's land, not being built to survive in this "antimatter."

Essentially, going to the realm of the off compasses just sealed his fate of losing his former ideology and becoming something else.

Imagine despite being extremely scared Moderate Lee tries to find him and talk to him.

When Moderate Lee follows him he's gonna get himself some help though, probably overcoming his fear and asking one of the fringe ideologies that switches back and forth between the realms, who could guide him to one of the safe gateways.

Technically, Post-Left is kind of a fringe ideology like that, which is interesting.

AntiRad, you should've just asked around instead of going on your own

I know you were very wounded and having a breakdown, losing touch with yourself and reality and all that, but come on...

AntiRad being torn between trusting Moderate Lee and not doing it because he knows that the guy is literally just doing what he's told with no sense of loyalty (or so he thinks...)

I'm in favour of giving Moderate Lee some character development, too.

Imagine AntiRad's now black parts lowkey melting when he gets really worked up or spirals into the insanity that is his new off compass ideology, cuz his body wasn't originally meant to fit into this category of ideology.

I also had the thought of the gunshot scars AntiRad has turning black first since that whole deal was kind of the catalyst for his descend

Imagine ModLee seeing his limb kinda melt or crack and is like !!! D: & tries to help him, telling him to calm down (please)

AntiRad getting kind of shocked/scared by that happening to his body, stumbling into ModLee's touch and letting him guide him to sit down & try to care for him.

ModLee tries soo hard to calm AntiRad, make him come home, saying that they could explain things and that it isn't too late, while AntiRad spirals further into madness

Being off compass slowly messing with ModLee too cuz he's very clearly not supposed to be there at all, especially not for extended periods of time

ModLee staying by AntiRad's side even though being in this place is slowly destroying him

You've stopped being a complete coward, but at what cost, in this moment, it would be the right idea to run back home

ModLee tries to hide whatever it is that's happening to him (not decided on that yet) and it only becomes obvious to AntiRad once it's already pretty bad.

RADCEN MENTION TEEHEE

I had the most insane idea when listening to a song... imagine AntiRad yk goes completely insane and off the deep end, becomes a serious and active threat to everyone... and then in the end its ModLee who actually literally backstabs AntiRad to stop him, finally realising that he can't fix him

The sadness and regret on ModLee's eyes that only worsens when AntiRad turns back with so much shock and hurt and betrayal on his face

ModLee catching him in his arms, sitting down as AntiRad slowly bleeds to death and disintegrates

He hugs him and cries until there's nothing left in his arms but empty space.

AntiRad spluttering "why would you" and "what did I do" and "I trusted you", before he slowly regains some clarity right before his proper, final death, apologising to ModLee for all that had happened and then AntiRad had abandoned the man ModLee begged him to be, ModLee thought he was, and thought he could become again

Oughhh these two... even worse if they did actually start loving each other, but ModLee knew that AntiRad would destroy everyone and everything if he didn't stop him.....

"I thought we... I thought you–"

AntiRad realising before dying that ModLee was right to kill him, and that part of him did it because he loved him, and couldn't stand to see him become even worse.

AntiRad getting extremely panicked and anxious as he's close to dying because he already experienced it once and is horrified that he won't be back this time, so ModLee hugs him even tighter and tries his best to soothe him

So sad too because ModLee tried so hard, he tried everything to try and save AntiRad, to bring him back, to help him get better... but nothing worked so it was his last resort.

AntiRad & ModLee having some genuine good, loving and soft moments which shows ModLee that there is some good in him. AntiRad still has pieces in him that are the man ModLee saw, but it was never enough. And now he has to live with the fact that he also killed that good forever

We were talking about ideologies and death, saying that they most likely would be borderline immortal, so I came up with an idea that deviates from that a little:

Maybe if ideologies are extremely fringe and barely have followers then they have a chance of dying permanently. The more fringe the higher the chance

Because Anti-Rad has become something else, something that's more of a fictional ideology than a real one, ModLee and everyone else was 100% sure that that would be it for him & he was truly dead. But imagine that through his violent transition into this different ideology and his travel through the void beyond the compass, he was kind of forged into an anomaly that prevails in spite of it all

So he eventually comes back, reforming where he died, the site now abandoned, with only a small, but relatively fresh bouquet of flowers and a little arrangement of rocks to symbolise his grave...

ModLee brought him new flowers all the time still and sometimes he sat there and cried for him.

Imagine just moments after AntiRad wakes up and takes everything in there's a scream, and he turns around to see ModLee, dropping the new flowers he brought with his hands clasped over his mouth, looking as if he might faint.

On the other hand I also like the thought of Anti-Rad isolating himself, but there being some trace of his return around the grave that ModLee notices and goes kind of insane over it.

Man Anti-Rad's physical form becoming so unstable because of his ideological standpoint seemingly shifting again after his death, now being sad and beaten down, lacking that anger that once burned holes into his belly (metaphorically)

He feels as if coming back to life after what had happened to him was the cruelest punishment, because what is he supposed to do now? He lost his knife, hunting after his supposed cause now seems pointless, he barely remembers what it was anyway? It's as if his mind is scrambled and he doesn't know what or who he is and what he'd stand or fall for.

Meanwhile ModLee is convinced that AntiRad is alive again and everyone else thinks that he's finally lost it.

Thinking about AntiRad not having his knife anymore genuinely stressing him out and worsening his identity crisis because that was such an integral part of him, his cause and expression of ideology

With it gone it feels as if he's lost an integral part of himself...

The Centrists abandoning AntiRad & leaving him for dead after Ancap shot him...

Most did so because they thought he was done for and didn't actually think they could save him

But my brain wants to make RadCen bad... and make him leave AntiRad out of malice....

Ever since that Libunity fic where RadCen stabbed Post Left.......... he is...... so evil...

And also lowkey just in general???

I have no issue seeing RadCen committing atrocities and smiling about it

He left AntiRad to die because he feared his powers, he worried that he might turn against them, against HIM eventually. He didn't know what that knife would do to him if it ever drew his blood

And that risk greatly outweighed the loss of AntiRad's powers

I really love the notion in Centricide that RadCen never cared about any of the Centrists... yeah...

RadCen didn't show it but when AntiRad returned to Centricity, still very much alive, he both got worried and even more grim.

I like to imagine that when AntiRad snapped, it was actually RadCen egging him on, literally pushing him over the edge, so that he would blow up, and he'd get another excuse to get rid of him once and for all... with the one issue that AntiRad escaped once again

RadCen realised how AntiRad had become even more unstable and played into that.......

Man, AntiRad having genuine trust issues because he knew that the other Centrists just left him for dead, and then finally begins to trust ModLee again just for him to be the one to kill him...

The lyrics to the song I listened to that gave me the idea for this whole thing are:

"Farewell Wanderlust, you've been ever so kind

You brought me through this darkness, but you left me here behind

And so long to the person you begged me to be

He's down, he's dead

Now take a good long look at what you've done to me

He's down, he's dead

He's gone, oh he's lost

He's flown, he's fled

So take a good long look at what you've all done to me."

And I can't help but imagine the "Farewell Wanderlust you've been ever so kind" to be about AntiRad being with the Centrists, being friends w/ them & feeling at home

And then "you brought me through this darkness but you left me here behind" being still him reminiscing about what they'd been through together, including the start of the centricide, until the betrayal of them leaving him for dead......

Them beginning to bring him through the darkness, but leaving him behind before they're fully out of it....

"Now take a good long look at what you've done to me" AntiRad stepping into the barrier into the anti-matter that connects the compass to the off-compass... the instrumental showing a bunch of scenes from AntiRad attacking the Centrists, to him attacking Post Left and then his rise to power in the off compass, the ideologies he's vanquished or altered....

"He's down, he's dead | he's gone, oh he's lost | he's flown, he's fled" ModLee trying to talk to him as AntiRad approaches a sort of "stage" (not an actual stage but yk like a high point to look down on the field below), with the extremists, some centrists and some other ideologies looking up at him....

"So take a good long look at what you've all done to me" is something AntiRad yells at them, ready to finally engage in his ultimate carnage

And then the last few musical notes is ModLee stabbing him in the back.... AntiRad looking back at him with shock... the ideologies below being just as shocked as he was....

The last shot being AntiRad falling backwards onto ModLee....

THAT'S IT FOR NOW!!!!

(kind of I have more bits and pieces but pshhh)

#centricide #jreg #centricide anti radical #antirad #centricide ancap #centricide radcen #centricide post left

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