anxietyarmidillo
a little creature
Eoin—19—he/it—autistic—lover of all things pretty and problematic<3—finally reactivated this blog!—pls have age in bio!🔞
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The Evangelion Complex
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Harrow The Ninth AUs brought to you by the mind of directly a traumatized, repressed demisexual lesbian teenager:
"What if Griddle was a prince(ess) and I was the underdog heir to the ninth house and had to present myself at a PARTY as a possible suitor? And there was FOOD. And Coronabeth was near by being hot and charming."*
*I don't believe it was ever confirmed it was Gideon,but she was a suitor for someone and considering the other AUs revolved around Gideon, I think it's a reasonable conclusion.
"What if Griddle was the ninth necromancer and I was the disinherited second cavalier and it was my fault we fell out as children because I stole a sacred heirloom but she saved me? Also, I had to fight Ortus for the honor of representing her?"
"What if I was in the army and I made friends and Griddle worked in a coffee shop and I got to see her biceps? And she knew my coffee order based off vibes?"
Harrow, buddy. Are you okay? Do you need a glass of water? Maybe one of those biscuits?
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*taps mic* hey uh is this thing on? You guys ever think about how good it would feel to fuck someone raw in a mating press, your cock pumping in and out of them, feeling every inch of their tight little hole rub up against you, trying desperately to keep you inside, gripping at you as you keep sliding in and out, in and out, rutting as deep as it can go, your cock and their hole getting messier, creamier, beating up their cum and mixing it with your precum. Moaning into their open mouth as they try to catch their breath, telling them that fuck, fuck, you're so tight, I'm gonna cum, I can't pull out and they get that wide-eyed panicked stare but they still wrap their legs around your waist and you can basically see the little hearts forming in their pupils as you get faster, your hips rolling, then jackhammering away, your balls slapping against them, getting just as messy as your thick, veiny shaft, slamming into them with all you've got, now incapable of pulling out, you can't, they're holding you in with their legs, they have a vice grip around you and all you can do is cum, cum deep inside them, fill them up like they were meant to be, like you have to, they're so tight, so wet, so warm and they need this, you need this, you need to cum inside
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oh to have a weird monster under your bed and develop just as weird of a connection with it
you've come to learn that he can be very easily excited. all it takes is a couple of right words and he's already all over you, pressing you against your bed, sniffing you and nuzzling his face into your bare skin. he absolutely loves your scent, how your soft, delicate human skin feels against his. whispers "mine" while sticking his nose into places you'd be too embarrassed to let a human go.
and when he's excited, he drools. it's sticky and warm, black liquid that seems to dry off pretty quickly, leaving a weird scent of smoke. his tongue licks its way down your neck and to your stomach, leaving you breathless even before he reaches the place between your legs. all of this drool is going to be coating your tight insides once he's done eating you out. he doesn't know what he's doing most of the time, blindly following his desires and instincts, but he sure is eager to please you, you gotta give him that.
he's not the most talkative, and sometimes his cryptic answers leave even more questions. that makes him a very good listener, even when you think he's not listening. you don't bother to keep your moans from slipping out when you play with yourself, not aware of just how much attention he's paying to you right now, completely blind to how desperate you're making him down there. oh how he wants nothing more than come out from beneath your bed and get on top of you, to rut his hips feverishly against your lower stomach; to feel something other than his pathetically trembling hands.
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Butch4Butch Porn Catalogue
Written erotica
The Holy Grail, required reading: George's Boi by greyhyms on AO3 - butch/butch, Daddy kink, stone butch
Set in Stone: butch on butch erotica (2001) at openlibrary.org
The entire Jess/Lupe A League of Their Own tag on AO3
Sinclair Sexsmith - butch4butch and butch4femme: website
Orlando Silver - butch4butch and T4T: Substack
Dev Ill/thedevilisadyke: AO3
kind to be cruel - butch/butch - dignification kink, Daddy kink
bad guy - butch/butch - sadism and masochism, blood play, bondage
in the alley - butch/butch/butch - orgasm control, pain kink, public sex/in an alley, Daddy kink, Sir kink, threesome
fangs4fur - butch/butch - vampire and werewolf, breeding kink, pain kink, blood play, sadism and masochism
Bite, Burn, & Sting - butch/butch, needle play, pain kink, piercings, genital piercing, Daddy kink, impact play, masturbation
Solder & Flux - butch/butch, power bottom/service top, hatefucking, enemies to lovers, pain play, Daddy kink, knife play, blood play, gagging
Smoke and Flame- butch/butch, smoke play, marijuana, Daddy kink, choking
Forgive Me, Father - butch/butch, blasphemy kink, masturbating in a confession booth, wax play, spanking
dykediaries: Literotica
Bois' Night - butch/butch, a friend helps a friend get over a breakup
Meet Me After Work? - butch/butch, a butch gets picked up by a customer at their job
One Night Stand - butch/butch, two butches get set up on a blind date
Reconnecting - butch/butch, two old transmasc friends meet up post-transition
Welcome Surprise - butch/butch/femme, threesome, a butch/femme couple incorporate another butch
basicbutch: Literotica
Arm Wrestle - butch/butch - The reigning arm wrestling champ at the dive bar meets her match.
One Bad Night - butch/butch - A terrible night out results in unexpected romance.
(my stuff) Leo Wilder/ butchpillowprince: AO3, website, instagram, linktr.ee
Yes, Sir anthology (paperback, ebook)
Coming Home novella (paperback, ebook)
Charlie & her friends series
Poker Game - butch/butch/butch/butch/butch/butch group sex - Charlie and her friends play poker and find a new way to place their bets.
Halloween Party - butch/butch/butch/butch/butch/butch group sex - Charlie and the gang throw a Halloween party and play truth or dare.
Camping Trip - butch/butch/butch/butch/butch/butch group sex and three butch/butch pairs - Charlie and her friends go on a camping trip together after the Halloween party.
New Year's - butch/butch/butch/butch/butch/butch group sex - Charlie and her friends go to a kink party for New Year's Eve.
One-shot originals
Against the Ropes - butch/butch - Tensions run high in the boxing ring between rivals.
Amateurs - butch/butch/butch/butch - Some butch friends film amateur porn in a parking lot, and get caught.
Bittersweet Rivals - butch/butch - Two basketball rivals meet at the bar and work out their rivalry on the dancefloor.
BOY TOY - butch/butch - A couple explores a "BOY TOY" collar fantasy together, and acts it out in the bedroom.
Butch Bros - butch/butch - Two butch buds hang out and have a good time on the couch.
Butch Cocksuckers - butch/butch/butch - A set of roommates work on their communication together.
Chastity - butch/butch - A closeted, repressed baby butch gets corrupted by a filthy, greedy butch top.
Gym Rat - butch/butch - A gym bro follows a silver fox to the showers.
Library Stacks - butch/butch/butch - Two students find a creative way to study in the library, and they get caught.
Oil Change - butch/butch - Jack's friend needs some help in the garage.
Road Trip - butch/butch - A country boy and a city boy take a road trip together, and the city boy misbehaves.
Suit and Tie - butch/butch - Two butches get dressed up for the opera and don't make it out the door.
Tough Guy - butch/butch - A heartbroken butch goes to the bar, flagging black on the right.
Use Me - butch/butch - A drink on the couch becomes more when the boy learns how to ask for what he wants.
Audio erotica
Dev Ill/thedevilisadyke: butch4butch audio library
Closer Than Ever and Game Time on Dipsea (paid or 7 day free trial) - masc lesbian friends have a Dyke Night that starts with a friendly massage / They go to a bar and realize their prospects aren't as hot as each other
Masc for Masc on TryQuinn (paid or 7 day free trial) https://www.tryquinn.com/audio/masc-for-masc
The entire butch4butch tag on Gone Wild Audio Sapphic (/r/gwasapphic)
Video porn
Fagdyke Cruising
Shutter
Blue Room
Butch4Butch Daddy boy scene
Butch vs butch lesbians
Butch & Butch
Sid Blankovich and Jiz Lee
Adina and Saffron
Daddi Dice and Red Jackhammer
Dallas and Syd Blakovich
Two lesbian butches having anal sex
Butch on fire
Real girlfriends
The rest of the butch4butch tag on PINKLABEL.tv
Am I missing something? Reblog and link to it!
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Obsessively reading everything in game by and about Gortash and the dude is
On a philosophical trajectory that ends in immortality thru technology / the machine
Doesn't have an original bone in his body, but he can backwards engineer anything
Halfway to being a decent scientist but doesn't have the education and is deeply impatient
Overconfident in the veracity of his own results and conclusions
Accurately predicted that the brain would metamorphose and become more difficult to control and then did nothing about it
Outsources his propaganda / arts and humanities
Charming, but he got there in a Pavlovian way (learned from trial and error and probably doesn't consciously know how he does it)
Vindictive af (learned / reinforced)
Darwinian (in the worst way)
Sociopathic, obviously, but extremely Rationalist about it
Never asks questions he doesn't know the answer to and probably thinks this makes him sound more authoritative
Completely incompetent as a strategist (but doesn't know it)
Not nearly as narcissistic / full of himself as he pretends to be
Thinks what he wants is praise but it's never enough because it's not actually what he wants (he wants to be wanted)
Bane makes him feel wanted (conditionally)
Durge made him feel wanted (unconditionally)
Understands intellectually that Durge got ambushed, but he feels abandoned
See also: thematic parallels between Gortash and
Silouv Yali (the Adamantine Forge & the construct Grym)
Oliver (in the shadow-cursed lands)
Astarion and Gale, obviously
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Deciding to be Very Brave and post a link to the Ghost/reader fic I wrote!
I’m currently writing a follow up for this, and since I’m getting closer to finishing it, I’m deciding to go out on a limb and share it on here!
Feat. omegaverse, feral Ghost, and reader getting in over her head!
I’m a bit nervous lolol, but I feel like it’s better to get over that nervousness :)
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very silly post but i wanted to unwind a bit so i thought i would rate chinese endearments!
宝贝：classic, casual endearment. i call my cats this, has a similar feel to "babe" for me. 4/5, one point deducted because it's pretty basic.
宝宝：like a cutesier version of 宝贝, i would never call a romantic partner this, but it's great for pets and children. 3.5/5, points deducted because it can sound kind of trite or cringey.
亲爱的：much more formal, has a similar feel to "beloved" or "darling" to me. arguably my favourite endearment because it literally means "[one] who is an intimate love". 5/5 if an s/o called me this i would melt.
老[姓名]：this can come off as overtly lovey-dovey at times but it's also really common among married or long-term couples. it doesn't really have an english comparison but personally i think it's very sweet. it can also be used teasingly which i enjoy. 4.5/5 with 0.5 points taken off because it can sound kind of old-fashioned.
老婆/老公：an even more married version of the above; this feels much more teasing to me, though. 4/5 with one point deducted because unfortunately 老公 can also mean eunuch (oops).
(老)狐狸(精)：i've only ever heard this in dramas as a reference to a man, but it's meant to call someone sly or cunning. can be admonishing, but can also be an affectionate reproval. can also be used for women, but then to me it comes off as a bit more judgemental, so 4/5.
小哥：technically a descriptor of a young man, but i'm personally attached to this as a term of endearment, and if someone called me this i would be smitten. i think it has been gaining some popularity among chinese sapphics, especially butch lesbians/T's? but unfortunately i don't.............really use social media so i can't confirm this.
姐姐/哥哥：these are technically originally terms for older brothers/sisters, but they're also used for people of the same generation who are older than you, and can be used in a flirty way. 4/5 only because non-chinese english speakers can get kind of weird about them.
啊-/小-：personally i prefer the 啊- suffix over 小- because 小- sounds like you're talking to a child to me, but i'm aware this is very regional. not overly romantic, but can be very sweet, so i'm giving it a 3.5/5.
those are all the ones i can think of off the top of my head, but if you have any others you can think of, let me know!
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for all of us who can't bear to read anything but CoD fanfiction (due to the 141's fat tits) do you have any all-time favs?
Such an awful, sick affliction. I made one of these lists a while back but couldn't find it so you’re in luck because I have plenty of favorites and I’m happy to share them (in no particular order. I KNOW I'm forgetting at least ten fics I've read and loved but I have a goldfish brain today, forgive me):
And please, read the tags/warnings. Your consumption is your own responsibility.
Neon Medusa
Too sweet not to share
Ghost and Red Fox
Alford plea
The Willow Maid
Exfiltration
The Arrangement
Civilian Asset
See no evil
Squeeze me I squeak
MildLimerence
Mine & Yours
Saltwater
Metanoia
to you I can admit (that I'm too soft for all of it)
white flag
blood on my shirt, rose in my hand
totally platonic
Surviving you
imprimatura
Dog
all that's said in the lowlight
birdsongs or advice and symphonies for your children
Happiness
songs that sound like sea foam
down to the marrow
roommate gaz
Chink in the Armour
Man-sized
Hummingbird
don't leave me locked in your heart
Listening In
Situationship-verse
The Scottish Cabin in the Woods
Please leave your own recs here too! It's nice to share the love, and I don't have a lot of time to find new fics, but am always wanting to read them haha. Please recommend things to me! Bonus points if you're recommending your own fics
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made a couple of posts about Astarion being hilarious gremlin but never made a collection of Gale's silly talks?? I should've fixed it
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Call Of Duty Audio Smut!
I realised I have not kept up with G W A reddit for a while and what has been going on? More Ghost, some König and Soap too! So here’s for your enjoyment :3 I have included both link to the post on G W A and straight to audio, since not everyone has Reddit, but please go give the artists some praise and comments if you like the audio! All audios are M4F, so male voices for female listeners. Have fun (as long as you’re an adult, MDNI!)
Simon “Ghost” Riley
Caught by Ghost by Badjhur (audio) (Mdom, dubcon)
Zero Hour by Badjhur (audio) (Mdom, squadmates to lovers)
Ghosting the Party by Badjhur (audio) (Mdom, interrogation)
Testing the Perimeter by Badjhur (audio) (Mdom, squadmates to lovers)
Only a Specialist’s Touch by Badjhur (audio) (Mdom, keep quiet, squadmates to lovers)
Training a Military Brat by Badjhur (audio) (Mdom, brat taming duh)
Clouded Conscience by Badjhur (audio) (Mdom, friends to lovers)
Lesson in Biochemistry by Badjhur (audio) (Mdom, sex pollen, dubcon)
Ghostly Comfort by AmbroseKincaidVA (audio) (Mdom, comfort sex)
Riling up Riley by Badjhur (audio)
Your Little Fantasies Are Out Of Control by hfoaudio (audio) (Ghost AND König, mdom, love triangle)
König
Doktor’s Orders by Badjhur (audio) (Msub König, established relationship)
Trapped in a cave? by Helloworld1337 (audio)
Taking Care of König by wagnerfirst (audio)
Taking care of König by Helloworld1337 (audio)
A Night with König by cover_immortality (audio) (impro, msub)
What are you DOING under there? by Badjhur (audio) (blowjob, plus sized listener)
‘Interrogated’ by 141’s Teutonic Titan by Badjhur (audio) (CNC, Mdom, bound)
John “Soap” MacTavish
Coming Clean by touchshriek (audio) (Mdom, enemies to lovers, manhandling outdoor sex)
Late Hours by ScotsLibrarian (audio) (Mdom, interrogation)
Late Hours by Touchshriek (audio)
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i like yanderes but u never know what you're gonna get with them. i think if a character is going to be described as yandere they should be placed on this scale i just made so people can understand what they're getting into
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Simon “Ghost” Riley in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 03/??
#obsessed with his dumb little slow blink#that man is checked out in every possible way and I love that for him
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『02』 原神: genshin impact recs
魈: xiao
preta by @phen0l
"People think that ghosts are born exclusively of resentment, but they can also be born of love. Between those driven by resentment and those driven by love, which do you think cling most strongly to their suffering?"
Xiao replies without pause, his gaze unfocused yet fixed upon something you cannot see.
"Love."
After a yaksha saves your life on the Plains of Guili, you insist on joining him in his war against the evils of Liyue. As the two of you encounter hungry ghosts and resentful spirits, you learn about the ones haunting him.
notes: incomplete but intricately woven together; heavy emphasis on chinese culture, wuxia/xianxia genres; if you have watched any historical cdrama, you will like this fic; xingqiu and chongyun are wrapped up into the dynamic; xiao wishes to protect you for centuries; him and his paradoxes; not being strong enough to be considered invincible but still strong enough to try
公子: childe
thin ice by @falconcoast
childe is that senior frat boy on teyvat university’s campus. the one who majors in economics because he’s on scholarship to play sports. the one who is way too loud and you can hear him all the way across campus. the one who’s daddy’s money rich because he’s already sponsored, even while just in the ncaa. the one who manages to get everyone to swoon over him.
oh, right. and your favorite title for him: the one hockey captain who hogs all of your free time to skate after lessons because he always steals it.
all you want to do is do your job and teach skating lessons to the kids to keep your mind off the year-old mess with your figure skating, maybe even get an hour of skating in afterwards as a reward. that is, until the hockey coach sits you down and tells you that surprise! you’re the new team manager for liyue’s hockey team!
...it can’t be that hard to manage twenty or so boys and their captain, childe, right?
spoilers: it absolutely is.
notes: wonderfully curated modern skating/hockey AU; childe is so american white boy in this; teucer being adorable; diluc and kaeya sibling dynamic is well-established; university and post-grad plans; figuring out your life and then working other people into it
国崩: scaramouche
tea screen by @after-witch
The trembling voice of the tea apprentice carries through the room, and though you can’t see him, you imagine he must be shaking. Who wouldn’t be, tasked with gaining the approval from the Sixth of the Eleven Fatui Harbringers?
notes: forced marriage and abuse; tea ceremony; sort of reminds me of the edo period; examination of womanhood within a patriarchal society; sexy, sad, and scary all at once; i pity the reader at the end; cycle of love and violence
a simple cup of tea by @after-witch
You have to be prepared and poised and perfect. But it’s hard to be all those things, even with the looming threat of your husband sitting next to you, when you’ve got a secret hidden underneath your clothes...
notes: reader grapples with lust and objectification; unhealthy dynamic but portrayed realistically in an almost historical setting; reader is unable to separate her identity as wife apart from her husband; women being defined in the context of men; could be a social satire on traditional gender roles if you squint
love is a dog from hell by @phen0l
"A will is something you don't have. That's why you'll follow mine."
notes: this fic is the reason why i do not think the concept of ownership in love would translate well into real life because it would be so self-destructive; reader struggles with aftermath of abuse and mistakes possession for protection; realistic depiction of unhealthy relationships; the fatui is exactly the dark criminal organization it is supposed to be; human trafficking and child sexual abuse; scaramouche is so goddamn funny i can't
钟离: zhongli
spoil of war by @bye-bye-sunbird
In the dead of night, you hear the sea calling your name.
Sometimes the sound is as soft as a love song, gracing your skin in a gentle breeze that lures you to the seashore where the waves can finally lay claim on you. Other times, the sea strikes the land in a deafening, challenging roar.
"Really now... How long do you think those mountains of his will stand in my way?"
notes: accurate depiction of characters because archon war morax was genuinely terrifying; zhongli trying to deny his obsessive tendencies; rivalry with osial; reader is essentially sanctified as a symbol of innocent purity; imagine having two spiritual gods pine after you while you are helplessly stuck in the middle of their tug-of-war and simultaneously trying to mourn; that is basically the entire premise of this fic
迪卢克: diluc ragnvindr
the parent trap by @falconcoast
twelve years ago, you got married to a man who had swept you off your feet in a little under two years. diluc was like a prince out a of storybook; effortlessly charming, strikingly handsome, and a kind man. you were supposed to live happily ever after at that winery, running a wedding planning empire, having a family, and growing old together.
until it all goes off script with a divorce.
flash forward, and the only remnant of diluc that is with you is your daughter, dawn. the only piece of you that remains with diluc is your other daughter and dawn’s twin sister, phoenix.
it isn’t until both of your children get you and your ex-husband in a bit of mess that you realize that maybe, just maybe, you still harbor feelings for diluc.
or maybe it’s the wine talking.
notes: one of my favorite comfort fics; i am a sucker for second-chance romance; diluc and reader now older but still being the same bumbling idiots they were when young; at this point the children have more situational awareness than them; based on the original movie; treat yourself to a cup of tea and a friday night with this work and trust me life will be good
博士: il dottore
deus in absentia by @bound-in-parchment
The first time was a coincidence.
The second time was a fluke.
But the third time? You were starting to think it was fate.
Or, more likely, a calculated trap.
notes: at this point we can just scrap whatever mihoyo puts out and use this work as canon instead; the world building is so originally creative; this author must possess such a giant sexy brain; reader is basically adopted by dottore and forced to be his apprentice/assistant; idea of losing yourself to your own ambitions; slow-burn to the max; reader is oblivious to full extent of feelings until it is too late; tragic to the point i need a time machine to resurrect them
dream a little of me by @bound-in-parchment
Celestia had a cruel sense of humor. He knew this, even before his days as a student.
But to be given a soulmate? Now, when he openly blasphemed against the cursed island in the sky?
He would outlive you and the dreadful fated bond that haunted your shared dreams. There was little point in this. He could at least put a Vision to good use.
People were nothing but disappointments.
He had no use for you.
Until you pulled the bow across your instrument and awoke a part of him long buried by self-hatred and arrogance.
notes: soulmate trope but with the two most aromantic fools to ever exist; zandik drowns himself in the river of denial; comic dynamic between segments; music and failed dreams; reader actually has a backstory dark enough to match dottore's character; does not shy away from the uncomfortable and gritty aspects of trauma, abuse, and literal mental insanity
chemistry / magnum opus by @jessamine-rose
In the realm of science, love and insanity are closely intertwined mysteries. Disillusioned with the world, you had long forgotten its beauty until the wise doctor gives you a change of perspective.
notes: by far the most accurate characterization of akademiya zandik; he hates you then hates himself then hates the world for allowing your paths to cross; treats you as an objective experiment but then wonders why he's suddenly humanizing you; slow-burn; zandik is selfish and machiavellian and somehow you fit into that equation
the only hope i had was the freedom of death by your hands that held me together by @tiens-letters
It was a burden. The weight of the power you hold in all the land. Any human who has enough ambition would dare to covet it and any god even given divine powers would lust after it. You were powerful, able to end civilizations and make a new world altogether. Many would think that you are a sovereign being but you too are limited to mortality than what most would believe. You were human with a blessing of a god and you felt cursed and dirty.
notes: honestly the ending made me so mad but take it as a good sign; basically entails the circumstances that would drive dottore to become somewhat capable of love; what is done cannot be undone; zandik finally meeting someone who is wiser and more depressed than him; deluding himself into thinking he could ever be domestically normal; somewhat idolizes/idealizes reader; themes of betrayal and misunderstanding
富者: pantalone
house cat / alea iacta est by @jessamine-rose
Your entire life has been a gilded cage. The gods refuse to grant your greatest wish, and so you have resigned yourself to the will of destiny. But what happens when the red string of fate is severed and replaced with the silver chains of the Regrator?
notes: liyue nobility; dishonest business and financial deals; reader is a cat hybrid but i didn't notice until part two because the plot was so good; pantalone is the mastermind behind all his interactions with reader; heavy manipulation and orchestrations; wolf in sheep's clothing; alternate ending found here
隊長: il capitano
herbarium / fairytale / forget-me-not / astilbe by @jessamine-rose
You had long given up on wishes and happy endings. After what you believed to be the end of your tragic story, you resigned yourself to a shadow of a life with only your books and flowers to keep you company…until the vestiges of Windblume brought forth a mysterious stranger and a new ending for your dark fairytale.
notes: capitano being the strong stoic protector of a delicately fragile reader; manipulation is so subtle and that is what makes it alarming; somewhat stirred my daddy issues because he is so parental; reader struggles between accepting his love versus hating him for taking away her personal agency; flower motifs
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