Why is the sky blue?

"*pointless question*"

Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry. Never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

"memes were awesome 10 years ago"

What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?

"the broken hearted are a monolith"

Okay, I have another question. Why do stars fall down from the sky? Every time you walk by?

"astrology is the practice of relating celestial motion to arbitrary personal experience"

If I can ask you anything, then "how many roads most a man walk down before you call him a man?"

"wit!witwitwitwitwit!"

Secret jewish kabbalistic cabal of secret jews . . . OMG! RENEE, THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO SLEEP!

"Words. These are certainly words."

Aww, we were having such a lovely discussion and now all your stories are locked. Was it something I said? Boo you whore.🥺

"Spooking sex workers is a reasonable hobby to have"

Why do you hate the nazis? Israel follows their policies.

"Remember that time the Nazis occupied Jewish land and then genocided them so hard their population doubled within 60 years? That's what they're famous for, you know."

I can ask you anything? Okay . . . why do birds suddenly appear?

"Are birds literally not real some of the time? Are they in some weird state of quantum flux?"

IDF sure does shoot a lot of kids though...

"Armies have historically never killed children. Every military in the past hundred years has been dropping magical child-excluding bombs as part of their military campaigns. The IDF doesn't buy those bombs because the IDF is cheap."

"newsflash: people still suck"

so jewish people get to complain all day and night about racism but you won’t even look at or acknowledge the palestinians who are killed by jews every day. we turnin israel into wasrael!

“why jews make have opinion”

so jewish people get to complain all day and night about racism but you won’t even look at or acknowledge the palestinians who are killed by jews every day. we turnin israel into wasrael!

"why jews make have opinion"

"How dare you point out Christianity as a cultural background?! American secularism evolved in a complete vacuum and that's why we should stand up for Christmas."

Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are not the same as Christmas. They aren’t holidays in the vacation sense; we’re at synagogue and we’re praying. We’re focusing on our deeds of the past year and how we can make teshuvah and return to ourselves. We’re fasting for twenty-five hours (not eating or drinking anything). We’re not sitting around the living room, singing carols, and drinking hot cocoa while staring at a dead tree. Forcing Jews (and other non-Christians) to believe that our observances, practices, and holidays are the same or comparable to Christian holidays is forced assimilation. 

Don’t tell me that you’d take off, work through, or skip celebrating Christmas so, therefore, I should have no problem taking off, working through, or skipping my “two-week holiday" celebration. And if I refuse to take off, work through, or skip Rosh Hashana and/or Yom Kippur, don’t accuse me of being a selfish Jew. Stop forcing Jews to fit in a box that was never built for us in the first place.

Oh, and by the way? If you aren’t a synagogue attending Jew, you have the right to your secular observance too without being interrogated by a “well-meaning” Christian. 

.לְשָׁנָה טוֹבָה תִכָּתֵבוּ וְתֵּחָתֵמוּ

"American Christian-based cultural behaviors by secular people are REASONABLE and just the way the world works. The cultural norms of other cultures are PRIMITIVE and STUPID and there is no research or dialogue required to reach that conclusion."

Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are not the same as Christmas. They aren’t holidays in the vacation sense; we’re at synagogue and we’re praying. We’re focusing on our deeds of the past year and how we can make teshuvah and return to ourselves. We’re fasting for twenty-five hours (not eating or drinking anything). We’re not sitting around the living room, singing carols, and drinking hot cocoa while staring at a dead tree. Forcing Jews (and other non-Christians) to believe that our observances, practices, and holidays are the same or comparable to Christian holidays is forced assimilation. 

Don’t tell me that you’d take off, work through, or skip celebrating Christmas so, therefore, I should have no problem taking off, working through, or skipping my “two-week holiday" celebration. And if I refuse to take off, work through, or skip Rosh Hashana and/or Yom Kippur, don’t accuse me of being a selfish Jew. Stop forcing Jews to fit in a box that was never built for us in the first place.

Oh, and by the way? If you aren’t a synagogue attending Jew, you have the right to your secular observance too without being interrogated by a “well-meaning” Christian. 

.לְשָׁנָה טוֹבָה תִכָּתֵבוּ וְתֵּחָתֵמוּ

"Hey, mind if we borrow the same customs we killed you over for the past 2000 years? What, why are you upset?"

Please translate “why do Jews get so upset when Christians want to use Judaism to connect with Jesus?”

Translation: “I can’t possibly imagine why you’d be pissed about stealing, corrupting, and ignoring basic tenants of Judaism. I really do think that Jews as a whole are an ancient and dead culture, and thus I can pick and choose what aspects of your religion I’ll corrupt like the vulture I am. Instead of actually reading my own holy books, I’d rather steal yours to feel in tune and connected to my religion. My kindergarten teacher never taught me the concepts of “yours and mine”.

“Is Anti-Semitism too strong for you? Try New DIET Anti-Semitism! All the great taste of alienating Jews, now only including HALF of the Jews!”

"it's not bigotry if you only hate half of 'em"

I know it's an old post but the Palestine support jar got me thinking: For white Americans/Canadians, Put a dollar in every time you go to sleep in a bed on violently stolen land. Put a dollar in every time you take a vacation to different stolen land. Put a dollar in everytime the government of a country YOU'RE vaguely tied to (came over on the Mayflower? The UK) commits a war crime. Put a dollar in every time Islamophobia occurs within YOUR borders and you do nothing.

"I extrapolate well"