I’ve been cooking in the kitchen but I don’t know when I’ll post anything, or if I’ll wait until it’s completely finished to post…

ONCE YOU'RE STRIPPED CLEAN, WHAT'S AT YOUR CORE?

acerbic wit

You're a mentor — an old scarred wolf, an injured soldier, a disgraced paladin. Your teachings read as shamelessly pretentious, speaking in rhymes and biting down hard on anyone stupid enough to make the wrong move. This isn't your first life, second, or sixth — you'll make the most of your time shackled to this world, no matter how many loops it takes to get it right. With every defeat, you reincarnate: a little smarter, quicker, crueler, and nastier. Will you choose to be brutal, equalizing that final strike in the face of your enemies? Will you go soft, become tender and domesticated? The choice is yours. It's not like I can stop you.

tagged by: @dollypardonne

@theaftrparties

Cash's first NYC DJ gig that wasn't a 2015 frat party was deemed a success, with no technical difficulties and not too much complaining on social media, not that he was checking – often, that is. He’s human and tapped around, and he’s never pigeonholed himself into one box, so no one was surprised that he was springing up around venues. He wasn’t even the headliner, which saved Cash from some vitriol, he assumes. Not that he cares about the opinions of strangers on the internet – club kids don’t scare Cash. Especially when they need him more than he needs them. When he was offered the headlining gig – a boiler room no less – Cash was a little on the fence, but after getting stoned, the creative juices were activated. He came up with what he thought was a decent mix to ring the new year in. Feeling reasonably confident about his music choices, Cash kissed his wife before heading out to brave the airport traffic to pick Theo up; knowing the guy liked to keep up with a particular appearance, Cash opted to take his NSX to JFK airport, only swearing a few times as he maneuvers through the arrivals. Chuckling to himself when he sees the younger man standing like an emoji, he puts his hazard lights on and pulls up in front of him, rolling the passenger door window down to speak. “Hey!” He greets as he puts his car in park, getting out to take Theo’s stuff for him. “Glad you could make it despite how last minute the offer was.”

[ contact : @theaftrparties ]

i don't stay in hotels with plumbing issues your role? good hospitality to renew her faith in the male species learn some gossip (for me) if she's flattered by your initiative and tries to make conversation

tokkiash​

The more that Cash and Miranda talk, the more annoyed that Ashley becomes. She isn’t stupid, she has read Cash’s book and seen the script for his TV show, she knows who this woman is. Ashley does her absolute best to not let her annoyance show on her face, however. Not wanting to give the other woman any kind of satisfaction of seeing her upset or anything other than polite and friendly. 

It’s difficult though, to not let it be evident how she feels. Both of them probably think the tension isn’t obvious but it is, and Ashley is feeling more out of place the longer that they all stand together like this. Awkwardness is not something that she’s used to feeling, and she hates it, wants nothing more than for this to be over already and for the two of them to be alone once more.

When the pair of them sip champagne at the same time Ashley has to hold back a sigh and an eye roll, more than over it already. When Miranda comments on her dress she lets her eyes flick over the older woman’s attire, taking in the sight of her. It’s not like she isn’t pretty, because she is, but Ashley…. well, she knows that she’s prettier. And dresses better, but that really isn’t here nor there.

“Thank you, he did. I’m always thankful for Cash when he lets me pick out whatever I want. I have to admit that I’m more than a little spoiled,” she giggles, and if she puts an emphasis on his name to make the other woman’s slip up more obvious, that’s no one’s business but her own. Ashley doesn’t want the elder to forget that she’s part of Cash’s past, not his present.

Something about this night is starting to feel like a trap. Cash enjoys art and likes supporting his friends and spending time with Ashley. He isn’t stupid, though. Enrique and Miranda were friends first – what Minkyu and Miranda had was an open secret no one said anything until there was tangible proof – despite finding some shared interest with Min, Enrique used to always admonish the older woman playfully, calling her a cougar, asking why Min was her date to his openings and not her husband, who usually would third wheel under the guise of ‘mentorship’ when he would actually decide to come with. Cash had only communicated with Enrique a few times since he had moved back to New York and assumed an invite to his opening was an invite to restart their friendship without Miranda. 

Maybe he was wrong. 

Adults can be way more petty than teenagers, especially the older ones like Miranda and Enrique, bored with their privileged lives, Cash wouldn’t have been surprised if the two decided that he would invite Cash and see how the night played out, alcohol is flowing – creatives are the most dysfunctional types, Cash would know. Miranda fixes her face to  speak again after Ashley and Cash decides that it’s this interaction has gone on too long for his liking and there is this nag at the base of his neck like an alert – they’re waiting for him to blow-up. Minkyu always had a temper, even at Hotchkiss; they thought putting him in football, let him run and tackle to get the steam out so he wouldn’t throttle his classmates when randomly triggered would be enough, it wasn’t, yet, it became this unspoken thing to not piss Minkyu off. 

Before they became friends, Tripp tried to see what he could get away with, Minkyu was tall but he was still the new foreign student no one knew about . Minkyu watched a lot of TV shows and movies before coming to America though, and knew it was some type of initiation phase, his fists moved faster than Tripp’s words though, a long friendship grew from the altercation though. What does Miranda expect Cash to do? He feels mildly frustrated, embarrassed that with his habit of trying to predict (control) how things will play out, he hadn’t considered Miranda showing up. Anger isn’t something he feels though so he doesn’t think she won. He glances at his watch to set things in motion, “it was insane running into you but we have an early morning, just came to support Enrique, bye.”  They don’t wait for her to respond, leaving the older woman where she stood, Cash wants to stop by the bar again, he doesn’t though in case Miranda strolls over for a martini and they walk outside and it finally feels like he can breathe again. 

@theaftrparties

people do a lot of silly thingss when they're high, dude so you think you're pretty? if you think shes asking for toothbrushes on purpose... bring something extra (dental related or not) and see how she reacts

or there is a plug in the sink and she doesn't want the hotel to find out so she works unblocking it with a toothbrush handle until she checks out and leaves it to you to take care of, but its a plus you're a 4.5 out of 6

# CASH! ( @anterocash​ )

this high maintenance guest keeps asking for a new toothbrush daily.. starting to think she simply wanna see me first thing in the morning.

send money.

And what would I get in return?

semi charmed life. pt. 2

part one.

The irony of Cash hotboxing in a hospital parking garage is while he’s there to visit someone who overdosed isn’t lost on him. Still, he needs to slow down and recenter. Ryuhwan requires a version of Cash that he needs to smoke out of himself. Cash’s mind can’t handle everything happening in the past three hours, he needs to text his girlfriend, but he doesn’t want to worry her. He wants to punch Minho in the face and put him in his own hospital bed. Cash is feeling overstimulated after the adrenaline of earlier crashes. 

Minho calls Cash for the third time, and he hits ignore again. With a couple of text messages sent seconds later. 

Minho: Cash, I am sorry  Minho: Is he okay?? Minho: I'm so sorry… 

Cash can’t handle both men and groans, slamming his palm into the steering wheel as if that would help regulate him somehow. He does it over and over until it starts to hurt that prick of pain is what he latches to and takes another hit, inhaling one last time; a cloud follows him out of the car when the door opens; Cash sighs heavily. 

— 

Being the visitor instead of the patient is a nice change. Cash can’t deny that as he limps behind the nurse, who insists she leads him to Ryuhwan’s room. He slaps the visitor’s sticker onto his denim jacket, stopping abruptly when she turns to face him instead of opening the door. “He’s asleep,” she says in a hushed tone. Her perfume catches Cash’s nose, and he takes a step back with a nod. He zips his lips shut and steels himself for the next second as she opens the door. Cash blinks. All hospitals are the same, just different colors; they all smell and give off the same vibes. After draping his jacket over the back of the chair placed next to the hospital bed, Cash sits, taken back in time to his own overdose, the look on his mother’s face — Cash is not going to put Ryuhwan through that. He hadn’t even called the younger man’s mother, which would require Cash to call Larry to get her number, and he would ask questions, and Cash did not want to have that conversation with him. 

Cash doesn’t know if Ryuhwan wants the TV on and off, so he doesn’t touch the remote. Stuck with the sounds of the machines and his own thoughts, Cash quickly pulls his AirPods out, shoving them into his ears, slouching to get comfortable; he gets his phone out. Might as well try to unscramble his thoughts, hospital Wi-Fi isn’t horrible, and Cash gets some emails dealt with that he told Seulgi he would tend to himself instead of putting them off onto her. After getting to know Ryuhwan when he wasn’t tossing cans of beer at Cash’s head, they learned they both enjoyed similar genres of music: girl groups being one of them. Cash puts on a playlist of their shared favorite songs and starts tapping away at the screen on his phone.

Min played it easy with drugs until he had no choice but to make a stupid decision after Miranda’s neighbors called the cops on him; he could have just tossed the stash but making a run to do that didn’t seem like a good idea even in Min’s coked out mind that night. The idiot thought the best action was to swallow the eight-ball before the cops figured it out and cuffed him. Min didn’t take into account that he didn’t do that amount of coke at once typically; he thought he’d poop the bag out Narcos style and figure out how to make bail before four pm the next day, except the complete opposite happened. 

He doesn’t remember anything after getting placed into the back of the NYPD vehicle and waking up to a look of pure contempt on Connie’s face. Cash wonders if he wasn’t handcuffed to the hospital bed with an officer standing outside the door listening to Connie rip her only son to shreds.

This isn’t about what happened to Minkyu. 

Cash does everything but look at Ryuhwan while he sleeps; the sounds of him waking up doesn’t change that; he makes a point to keep his eyes fixed on the screen, he idly thinks he probably should have texted his girlfriend, but once again, he’s not wholly sound himself. The weed got the edge off, which makes it easy for him to give Ryuhwan a soft look when he calls out with a rough voice, and Cash pours him a cup of water. Hospitals have the best ice tied with Sonic Drive-Thru because they share similarities. Cash makes a cup for himself, bites the Styrofoam out of habit. Cold water tastes good, no matter what; anti-water heathens delude themselves into believing. 

“Howdy, sailor.” Cash says in English around crunched up ice in his mouth. Ryuhwan laughs, which quickly turns into coughing and drinking water on his end, and Cash thinks yeah, things are going to be okay.

– 

The room is heavy after the nurse leaves them. Once alerted of Ryuhwan’s awakened state, they fussed over him – he could have walked about of the ER after they dropped him off, he would have preferred that, but the ordeal itself was an embarrassing wake-up call and asked to be admitted. He would detox in the hospital and return to his mother’s house. Cash shut that down immediately and said he’d pay for Ryuhwan’s inpatient program; detoxing and going home wouldn’t be enough for Ryuhwan, and Cash knew that first-hand.

“I know you’re embarrassed right now….” Cash starts, thinking of Ryuhwan’s tears in his living room hours before, “But this is not the end of the world if anything….” Cash sighs, leaning back into the seat when Ryuhwan speaks before he can finish his sentence.  

“You don’t have to pay for this. My mom has health insurance through her job. I can just ask –” 

“Dude, you aren’t going to get the help you actually need in Korea, I need you to do something you probably don’t want, and that is to trust me.” Cash implores, and Ryuhwan finally turns the television on; the volume is down low, though, and that’s enough for Cash to keep talking. “Now, before I was so rudely interrupted,” he says in jest. “This isn’t the end of the world, Ryuhwan. I promise life is going to get better after this, and I don’t break my promises often, not unless I have to, but the thing here is, I don’t want to break this promise. I won’t. You have to trust me, okay?”

Ryuhwan looks pained; it’s been a long day. He nods, blinking the tears from his vision to see Cash clearly. 

“Okay.”

The b*ts are b*ck 🙃

tokkiash​

To say that Ashley doesn’t like how this woman is looking at her would be an understatement. People have been looking at her all night, but none like this. It’s calculating and judgmental in the worst way, it makes her bristle but only inwardly, at this point she refuses to give the older woman any satisfaction of anything besides pleasant reactions. Unless a line is crossed, but only time will tell that will happen.

Instead she acts appropriately nice and polite, even though she wants to be anything but. Being called Cash’s wife has her straightening up a little more, a pleased and loving smile on her face as she turns her face up towards him briefly, gaze settling on the woman opposite them once more. Ashley lets Cash introduce them, though Miranda’s response to it annoys her. 

“It’s very nice to meet you too, Miranda. Though I do have to say I disagree with you, Cash is nothing but a wonderful and loving man to me,” she says, and maybe her smile is a little smug, she doesn’t care. Ashley just tightens her hold on Cash subtly, instead.

Ashley is not as stupid as she seems though, she knows what’s going on here. This woman probably thinks she’s being so subtle but she isn’t, and as much as she wants to drag Cash far away from her and this situation, she stays put. Even if she doesn’t like it, she’ll let him handle how this plays out, and as such she easily slips back into silence once again, knowing it was for the best right now if she did.

Cash fights the urge to roll his eyes; he doesn’t need Ashley’s help here but appreciates the feedback. Cash doesn’t want to go into his thirties, still breaking hearts, acting like a terrible partner, not that he was awful to Miranda — perhaps he was too eager to please her without regard for what his actions would cause. Nineteen and enamored, he did not so very nice things back then, for her not to her. Cash tried to block their relationship out pre-coma, with brain healing some of his memories he will never get back; he knows things from retellings from former classmates and reading his journals. His relationship with Miranda remains evident in his head to this day, which gives him migraines.

Should have moved neighborhoods.

Cash is a creature of habit. He thrives with routine; gone are the ‘whatever’ days. If he doesn’t have a schedule, he won’t achieve anything. He thought he could get his old life back with new additions that would only make it better if he moved to the old block. They go to the same grocery store he used years ago, doggy days tucked in the corner of Central Park West; he used to sit and drink cheap red wine and write, reading John Fante out loud to Eva or whatever susceptible woman he could convince he was worth the time spent. He takes the same routes, and Cash has never been happier. Running into Miranda hadn’t crossed his mind that much. Cash convinced himself that she moved to a different city or a new neighborhood; she didn’t have any reason to stay on the Upper West Side: no longer a faculty member at Columbia, her ex-husband divorced her and sold their home (the one he fought a Minkyu in the throes of cocaine rage outside of.) Why was she still around? Wonders the man who moved back because he didn’t want to find a new grocery store.

“I ran into Enrique at a different exhibit, and he invited me to this one tonight,” Miranda explains. He hates how it still feels like she can read his mind. Cash contemplates punching the artist in the face – another of their mutual friends that knew about their entanglement. What exactly was he trying to achieve? As much as it damaged Minkyu’s ego – after rehab and the smoke clearing from his relationship with Miranda coming to light – all the friends Minkyu met through his connection to Miranda picked her side – weirdos, but whatever, they knew her longer, and he could accept that, not without grumbling about it – a mass exodus of social media followers and suddenly everyone has him blocked – grumbling was justified. “Yeah, he emailed me about it a couple weeks ago and decided to make it a date night.” 

Maybe it’s the endless champagne. Miranda and Cash take sips simultaneously, and she makes a slight noise; what others would use for closure only fuels her anger more.  “That’s a pretty dress. Min buy it for you? I mean Cash –” another gulp.

tokkiash​.

It was always exciting to be able to go out with Cash like this, visiting galleries and going to events that she never imagined she’d be able to go to. Ashley loves being shown off, loves to hear herself introduced as someone special and important to Cash, as his future wife. To see the looks that she gets, to know that someone else wants her spot on his arm but they can’t have it. But what she loves the most is getting to just be around him, to hear him talk and explain his thoughts on the art, to hear how smart and well spoken that he is. It makes her feel closer to him, learning how his mind interprets different media or even just relationships with other people.

And tonight is no exception, Ashley has been having such a good time meeting all of Cash’s old friends and colleagues, getting an introduction into his world from before, and becoming a part of it now. She’s good at playing the arm candy, talking and laughing when appropriate, someone that Cash can be proud to have around him. Though, it is nice once they are able to break away from the crowd and wander among the gallery alone, hand in hand. Quiet moments together like this is her favorite, after all.

Which is why it’s unfortunate when they get interrupted by a woman’s voice, and Ashley is confused, to say the least, to hear Cash’s name from before. Minkyu. No one Cash was close to now called him that, not even his closest friends from then. She’s even more confused at the reaction she gets, the squeeze to her hand the quick way that he lets go to turn around. It pushes a pout to her lips though she only lets it settle briefly, wiping the expression off her face as she turns around as well, stepping closer to Cash and looping her arm through his, taking in the sight of the woman in front of them. Ashley’s gaze briefly flickers over the other before she’s looking over to Cash again, feeling more confused now at the way he’s reacting and what he says, unsure if she should speak up or not and so she just stays quiet, suddenly a bit anxious to see how it plays out.

This scenario has played out in Miranda’s head a million times. Every time it’s a different girl, Miranda tries to find something ugly about her to make herself feel better. Not just Minkyu either, but her ex-husband as well. It’s a habit that developed after the only time she ever saw the two men in conference rooms with their attorneys present. Everyone seems to have moved on from the situation except for her. Miranda isn’t stupid, and four million dollars is chump change for the writer, but since he refused to apologize, she had to settle with some sort of justice, even if more than she would have liked went towards legal fees. Minkyu could have counter-sued, but he didn’t. He wanted nothing to do with the situation or with Miranda. Still, he should have thought about her place in his life after he decided to publish a book about the biggest mistake of her life.

“I don’t see why not; who is this?” She looks at Ashley like she's appraising her for sale. Taking in her outfit and how her hair and make-up are done, eyes finally land on the jewelry on her fingers, and Miranda holds back a scoff, sipping her drink. Where does Minkyu get off thinking he can be happy? He didn’t even know about the plans Miranda and Eva had begun to brainstorm until the younger woman backed out at the last second. They were supposed to make Minkyu — Cash’s life a living hell.

Cash doesn’t like the way Miranda is looking at Ashley. Not one bit. “Miranda, this is my wife, Ashley.” They might not be legally married, but Miranda doesn’t need to know this. Cash doesn’t want her to think she’s won; he signed a check, and anyone can give away money. Winning one battle doesn’t mean she won the war. Cash isn’t proud of how he acted back then and doesn’t regret anything; he can acknowledge things should have gone differently. Cash and Miranda have always fed off of each other’s energy, though, if she wants to continue to act petty? So can he.  “Ashley, this is Miranda… she used to teach Twentieth Century British History at Columbia when I was a student there.” The relationship between them being why she’s no longer employed by the university, goes unspoken. Miranda takes the bait, “pleasure to meet you, Ashley. I gotta say you have your hands full with this one.”

Cash knows Ashley doesn’t understand art, and truthfully? He doesn’t expect that from her. A beautiful face and the perfect body. God took so much time making her; he was exhausted by the end and didn’t give her much for intellect. Cash likes that about Ashley, though. Opposites attract and whatnot. But what Cash knows Ashley enjoys? Is getting dressed up and being his sexy arm candy. When invited, he still drags her to art galleries and other events that she probably would not attend if she wasn’t with Cash. He thinks it’s good for her, enriching Ashley's mind even if she doesn’t realize it. Cash thinks she’s smart in other ways though, told her she’s a genius in her own right. Which he believes to be true.

He has the prettiest girl in the room on his arm, and he’s got at least a foot of height above every man. Cocaine used to make Cash feel this confident years ago. After working the room, introducing Ashley to some casual friends he’s made in the art scene, older ones from his university days, they finally look at the pieces that brought him to the art gallery in the first place. Cash opens his mouth to try and interpret what is in front of them when a voice he hasn’t heard in so long reaches his ears.

“Minkyu?”

He squeezes Ashley’s hand out of shock and drops it, turning to face the woman who still dares to call him that. Miranda is probably feeling smug – after close to four years of litigation, they finally managed to settle, leaving Cash writing her a four million-dollar check so she could stop harassing him. He can’t remember if contacting each other is allowed or not. He shouldn’t be surprised she’s there; they enjoyed some of the same things, her husband included. God, this is so fucking awkward, and the chuckle he forces out reflects that. “Hey… Miranda. Should… Should we even be talking right now?”  / @tokkiash

ainslie hogarth motherthing

kofi

Do me a favor. Reblog this if you welcome the use of ask memes as icebreakers between characters that have never, or rarely, interacted before.

dude trust me *lying, manipulating*

“Quite frankly, sometimes we just have to be assholes, don’t you think?”

"Tough love is better than no love at all, right? Or were we the only ones brainwashed into thinking that way?"