June through November

I've been very busy this year. I haven't been writing my essays, and I am busy now, but would like to make a quick outline of what happened in my six inactive months.

June: Studying for PE, went to Rensselaer county for my library expedition, played Pokemon Violet and Let's Go Pikachu on my Switch, began substitute teaching, went on a date

July: Finished the library expedition, finished farming a few Pokemon Unite achievements, took my PE exam (and later found out I passed), participated in contra dancing in a new location

August: went to Japan, caught looking at girls on my work computer, started job searching, started boxing, went to Latinfest with an old friend

September: fired from work, went to an event with new friends from boxing, storm duty prevented me from contra dancing, failed a few job interviews, got to learn more about republican ideals from someone at work, moved out of apartment, went to my second job's Wellesley office, farmed Mew in Scarlet

October: studied for actuarial exam, decided to take my second job more seriously, making it my number 1 job to protect at all costs, met up with an old friend to do muscle ups and handstand pushups, in-person interview in NYC (first interview outside of Albany), went to Hartford for the second time this year because a boss at my second job was visiting, went roller blading and met a Crossfitter, went to my first Bible Study, went to church

November: failed two actuarial exams, played Mimikyu a lot in Unite, started roller blading classes, did a ninja obstacle course, rejoined Crossfit and did 100k meters in rowing in just two days, went to my second job's Wellesley and Portland offices, restarted my Nintendo Switch adventures and did my first 7-star raid, friend joined me for contra and Thanksgiving, met a professor from Union at contra

December (so far): saw the Christmas tree lighting in NYC, started working in NYC at a new job, Season 15 sticker from Pokemon Unite, attended Bible study again, met Kenya Grace

And somewhere in there, I started watching Bobbi Althoff, followed the Miranda Sings drama.

I'm hoping to do Crossfit, boxing, and church one more time before the end of the year. I'm definitely going to NYC for work two more times.

April/May 2023

April and the beginning of May were busy for me, so I didn't get the time to write up a summary of my April.

In April, I was studying frantically for Exams 6 and 9 because 69 is a funny number. I bought TIA for Exam 6, which will last until November. I thought I could focus more on studying in April, but I was too lazy to study it over Exam 9. Ideally, passing both would be great, but in reality, I have a shot of passing 9.

With my exams, I plan on taking Exam MAS II and 6 in the fall. Then Exam 7 and 8 in 2024, and hopefully my final attempt at exam 9 in 2025. There are extraneous requirements I need to fulfill, which I plan on getting done in 2023 or 2025. I'm halfway done with my exams based on the old syllabus, 5/10, but now its 4/9 because they took out one exam.

In the second week of May, I attended the CAS Spring meeting, which was one of the best conferences I've ever been to. They launched an app for the event so you can view presentation slides and chat with other participants. Everyone there were willing to talk to me and they were all approachable. Some people I met were a little goofy, and I remember one person who I met that didn't really acknowledge me the rest of the meeting, even though I kept running into her and smiling every time I saw her.

I feel like I need a CAS job in order to bond with the meeting participants more. There was one lady who was so nice, she reached out to a coworker to ask about the team working in the Albany area for me to reach out to. Others said that they had openings and were happy to give me a job.

Both jobs are not going great. I've been too busy with exam studying in April and Pokemon training in May to focus on them. While I am able to keep up with anything urgent assigned to me, I'm not focused on the right tasks when no deadline is presented to me. I'm going to use the first few days in June to catch up.

I'm still going to the gym. I've been going a lot in May since taking a break in April. I tried out their Memorial Day Murph and had a good workout. I'm not sure about my friendships with some of the people there. Some of them make it clear they're not interested in talking to me, and others talk to me but they don't necessarily want to keep connections outside of the gym.

Dancing isn't going so well. I'm not making a lot of friends to stay in touch with. However, I'm having fun wearing my cowboy hat.

I ended up buying a Nintendo Switch because there was a limited edition Pokemon design that I could probably sell for a lot of money in the future. Also, I wanted to bond with my Pokemon friends at Pokemon night a little more. They were happy to see me get one and one of them mentioned something about a Pokemon tournament in Hartford. I ended up going and competing in this regional tournament. There, I met people who told me how the overall format worked, I built a Pokemon card deck, and briefly met the person who invited me to this place. He wasn't too receptive in talking to me.

With girls, its still been prostitutes for me. They're more open to my advances than actual girls and that helps me sleep at night. I really want to sleep with the better looking ones, but they're all expensive or fully booked.

Overall, there were a few big things I did in April and May that defined those months. In April, the biggest events was buying a Nintendo Switch and the DPAM staff meeting. In May, the biggest events of the month was CAS Spring Meeting, Hartford Pokemon Regionals, and Memorial Day Murph.

I'm not sure what the big events in June will be. It might just be a PE study month, although I'm going to try to make progress on my Library Expedition. This was something I started in April when I borrowed Pokemon Diamond from the East Greenbush Library. There are 36 libraries to visit at the end of May, I've visited 7. I plan on hitting a few on June 3, also inviting a few friends along. I just need to get this done before July 4, when its harder because of summer hours. I'll have to hit some of the libraries on a Wednesday.

March 2023 review

I eventually got the girl's number on the last day of March, but she wants to be friends only. Now I'm not thinking about her much, which lets me focus on other things, like actuarial exams and prostitutes.

My prostitute wasn't as into the relationship as she was back in February. Must be an off day for her, but she was still pretty nice and tried to engage in conversation with me. I'll still visit other girls when I get the chance, but this girl is the best. She's a little more expensive, but I'm paying for the familiarity and trust.

My other activities, dancing and volleyball, are still going good. Not as much dancing. I'm starting to form friendships at both this month. My volleyball friend and I went to a different place to play volleyball, also on the last day of March.

Pokemon Unite has been very nice to me. On my birthday, I won a lot of games. I'm playing on the weekends, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.

I'm cheesing work for my actuarial exams. Hopefully I can actually concentrate on studying at least 6 hours a day for the month. My J2 is not assigning me much work, and my J1 is being stressful as always. I'm getting great performance reviews at both jobs. On the days I'm not studying, I'll actually focus on work. However, focusing on studying is hard these days, but I'll make it work.

0 notes

March 2023

I finally got the girl's number at Crossfit, but she wants to be friends. Since then, I haven't thought about her much.

February 2023

The main thing I had my mind on this month was to ask a girl out at Crossfit. I failed, although we are in the acquaintance zone now. She was busy when I asked her to dinner. The next time we talked, she was in a rush to get out. I might try one more time to ask her out, and if she says no, then that's it. Next time, if there's a girl I like, I'll ask her out right away instead of waiting for the right moment. I wanted to wait until Valentine's Day, then only started talking to her a week later since I didn't see her then, then I had more excuses.

I did dancing again this year. I danced three times this month. This is a hobby I haven't done since 2019 at the latest, although my most active years were 2016-2017. I think I only went 2-3 times in 2018 and once in 2019. This time, I have a cowboy hat and I enjoy it more than I did back in 2016. There's no longer any stress about going alone

Volleyball is beginning to become stressful again. I remember why I quit. Teammates not passing to me, teammates that are bad at receiving balls, and people trying to teach me how to play when they are the problem.

Work is still boring me and I feel I'm not learning anything. However, people around me trust that I know what I'm doing and I found ways to cheese my job so that I wouldn't work so hard so I can focus on exams.

Studying for exams hasn't really happened yet, although I really want to focus more on it this month. I'd like to double up on exams 6 and 9 so I'm going to need to be efficient at work in order to catch up on studying.

My relationship with my regular prostitute is improving. We're so comfortable with each other and she lets me stay longer since she has nothing better to do. Business is slow for her and I think she really wants to cuddle, which makes me like her even more. I understand that its still business for her and I shouldn't expect a relationship out of it, but she is still one of the better girls. She's older and is probably more mature than people my age, and I'm glad to have started this hobby.

January 2023 review

My life can now be summarized into work, Crossfit, and prostitution. I'm only enjoying one of the three.

Work is getting worse by the day. So much to do with no trainings on how to do it all.

I'm trying to get my PE for work so I can get another job, possibly in addition to the jobs I already have. I'm only working for the money and I don't care about company goals or values unless there's a benefit for me, such as business travel or opportunities to make more money.

It's frustrating because I messed up the relationship I had with my 2017 employer. I got fired just because I had one bad day. I was frustrated at the fact that I was almost two years out of college and still making $15/hour rather than a $60,000 salary. I realize that just because I have two jobs paying $80,000 now, that nothing could ever change the fact that no one wanted to hire me in the first place. I'm always the last pick. I should've had my PE done in 2020, not 2023. It just makes me really sad that I could've switched over to becoming an actuary much earlier if I had better social skills and luck.

I'm trying to build my body at Crossfit so at least I can say I tried to be what girls want me to be. I'd like to at least have another girlfriend before I turn 30, if not a wife. When I was little, I had a dream that I would end up married and have a few kids, because that's what was ingrained in my head. I didn't know that I was actually supposed to be attractive myself. If they told me it was this difficult, I wouldn't have lived for so long.

In February, I'd like to get more involved in stocks and study more on Exam 9. I might be taking Exam 6, just to try as well, since I'll have access to study materials for free. I'd like to get these two exams done in May, and Exam 8 and MAS II done in October, which leaves me with only Exam 7 to attempt, assuming I pass them all. I'm not planning on doing studying much longer since I want more money, which means more time with prostitutes.

For travelling out of the country, I'm thinking Japan and Europe in the same trip, then maybe Canada. In 2024, I'll do India and Europe, then maybe Mexico. Then in 2025, I'll use the first few weeks to travel to Canada or Mexico, any country close to the US, before my passport expires. Then that'll be it forever.

Because of my lack of social skills, it feels like gaming and writing down my feelings are the only things that comfort me. However, I'm not even good at either. It does seem like my life needs to end ASAP, but I want to experience prostitutes all over the world first. It's probably a waste of money, but it's the only thing that would make me happy in this world. No one wants to be my friend, no one wants to be my girlfriend. I'm not getting married. I have no future and I don't find anything in the world that's worth living for. I'm sure its been this way since 2008.

2023 plan

This year will be my last year in attempting to find friends. One week into the new year and I realize that my social skills are behind and I'll never catch up. People pick on me for it everywhere I go.

My goals this year are:

Travel out of country. This will be my last time travelling out of country. My passport expires in early 2025 and I have no interest in getting a new one in case I get a girl who has no interest in travel. Maybe Mexico in 2024 but that's it.

Exams 9, 8, and PE. I'd like to finally be secured in my profession in engineering while working towards securing a profession in actuarial.

More jobs. I am currently working two remote jobs, but why stop at two?

Exercise: I dislocated my shoulder two days before the new year. I plan on making this year my last year of exercise and trying to make friends playing volleyball. After this year, I don't think my body can handle the pressure anymore. I enjoy this game but the rude people I meet and the body-checkers who think I'm incapable of playing well really make me want to quit.

Prostitutes. I will continue meeting girls this way, and hopefully I can get the confidence to approach girls who have the same ambition as me. I think I need more experience with women and prostitutes are a good way to get that exposure. I'm thinking twice a month in this hobby will suffice.

Gaming. I enjoy Pokemon Unite, although I do want to play the other Pokemon games. I'm thinking of getting a switch so I can play the more modern games. But the same issue arises with travelling: if I find a girl that has no interest, I will want to spend more time with her over video games. I'll stick with what I have, and if I need to, I'll get a Gameboy flashcart, a link cable, and another Gameboy.

My only real friends are the ones I play Pokemon Unite with right now. I plan on trying to share some of their other hobbies like rock climbing. That's an interesting way to exercise and my Pokemon Unite friend talks about doing that with her daughter a lot. I plan on trying it and getting back to her about my progress.

I'm sure there are more goals, but the ones I want to focus on in January are exercise, exam 9, and prostitutes while doing well at my job. I'm hoping to get 1600 in Pokemon Unite before the season ends. I'll need to reach out to some different people to make sure I make it in time.

2022 Review

Terrible year overall. My goals were:

Pass Exam 9

Learn my new job

Pokemon

Hang out with the Hispanic friend

Go to Eastern Europe

I failed at every one of these. I failed exam 9, no one at work can teach me this job, I don't even know what "Pokemon" entailed, that Hispanic friend no longer talks to me, and I didn't go to Eastern Europe because of the war.

I came to the realization that its my fault no one likes me and I don't know how to change that. I have no interests and no one shares the same interests as me. I'm only interested in getting my PE, getting my FCAS, and playing Pokemon Unite. Even then, I have trouble making new friends. I can't fit in anywhere and its frustrating. It shouldn't be this difficult doing things that other people find easy.

I need to stop social media. I'm wasting too much time looking at these "shorts" or "TikToks" when I should be studying or at least playing a video game.

I found a Pokemon Meetup in my area but none of them are professional people with interesting jobs. I got a few contacts but none of them are worth keeping.

I'm getting harassed at work. One guy keeps bullying me and no one else. Its terrible. I want to quit but I also want my PE. He only talks to me when other people are around and it only got worse last weekend because of storm duty for my company. Every time I get near him, he's always making a rude comment.

Christmas didn't even feel like anything this year. I got to go to Buffalo to participate in a storm duty since everything there was a mess and people needed power. At least I get extra money from storm duty.

I also tried out Crossfit. It's more of a class where they actually teach you how to do some advanced exercises. I'm planning on learning how to use the barbell. They have odd names for their exercises but the movements are the same as what I've observed in the past.

My last attempt to make friends was at volleyball. I lost all three games I played. I dislocated my shoulder again but this time, someone was around to help me. I got one person's number. He seems certain we'll meet again. He's a retired electrical engineer. I lost all my skills playing volleyball again since I haven't been playing consistently, and the people around me are frustrated playing with me.

I moved out of my parent's house to get some peace of mind so I can study better and yell at people playing Pokemon Unite for being bad at the game.

My second job as an actuary gets better every day. There is not as much of a learning curve as an engineer, and there's more vacation days. Ideally I'll transfer from life insurance to P&C since I find that field a lot more fascinating than life. However, this is a first good step and I'm learning a lot about the considerations needed to be an actuary. This is the only aspect of my life that's good, and the irony is that I'm not even supposed to have this in my life since its a second job.

October 2022

This year is going by fast. I've been busy with work, which is the reason for the lack of updates. I've been hit with a reality that I'm no longer young and girls see me as a creep. I might not get married at this point while all my friends around me are getting married.

I finally started an actuarial role on top of my engineering job. Now I'm working two jobs, and on top of that, I plan on taking IFM as well. These are all things to distract me from the reality that I might not get married.

I found that being an actuary is very difference than being an engineer. They get more time off and the workload is very light. I can get away with doing my engineering job while on the job, which is exactly what I do to keep busy.

All these years, I've wasted time trying to make friends when all I should've done was work two jobs. Back when I was a student 10 years ago, I should've been studying harder to get better grades so my GPA would be 3.8 instead of 3.5. I would have an easier time job searching, I would be making more money, and I would've gotten my PE by now.

I have no friends except for my high school friend from Alabama, and he won't even hang out with me unless something was in it for him. I have my Pokemon Unite friends, but they can't do anything for me.

I never got to take Exam 8 because of a lack of preparation, which would be useless for Exam 9 preparation. The point was to learn what types of tricks the upper level exams use in order to ask questions, but if I don't know the material, I won't be learning the tricks. Instead, my new study schedule will be IFM in November, Exam 9 in May, PE exam in July, and Exam 8 in October.

I don't recall saying this in my last update, but the "I think I will end the year with no friends. No one is around for me anymore." is becoming more true. Maybe I don't need friends. I find them all boring anyways and I don't know why I keep trying. I can't even join in on a conversation. I've tried so hard but I couldn't fit in. This is more justification that I should stick with what I'm good at doing: making money from remote jobs.

I'd still like to play volleyball at the end of the year. I like the exercise, but no one I can keep in touch with is still playing.

I ended up getting an apartment for a year. I just needed a break from home life. Looking back, it's nice to have some privacy about my second job, but at the same time, I wish I was travelling and seeing the country. I have the money to work from a hotel from time to time, but I don't know how to make friends in these new places.

I still need to get laid by a prostitute. I'll do it as a reward for passing IFM in two weeks.

The only reason why I'm online right now is because my work laptop's security is down right now, allowing me to update Tumblr for the first time since May.

May 2022

2022 is probably going to be another failed year. My job isn’t going so well, with no one to teach me about my role. I know I failed my actuary exam. My hispanic friend isn’t talking to me anymore, probably because I canceled on him too many times. I just found out I’m not really interested in gaming anymore. I’m spending my days wasting around the internet, which isn’t interesting to me either.

To improve my situation, I have started to apply to actuary jobs for real this time. That way, I have a backup if my engineering job doesn’t work out. Also, I am planning on taking Exam 8 as a practice exam, not to actually pass. I found that the harder actuary exams require a particular way of thinking which I am not accustomed to yet, so the more exams I take, the better I can pass future exams.

For my PE engineering exam, I may take it in March 2023 or July 2023. March if my PE application comes through in time, and July, with two months to prepare after I take Exam 9 in May 2023, and possibly even Exam 7 as well.

There is one more actuary exam I can take in November or December of this year. Online Course 3. I’ve taken 1 and 2 in 2020, and this is a new exam they are releasing.

I know I said I was going to write down actuary notes every day in April, but my excuse this time is that Tumblr couldn’t open on my work laptop, even though every other social media works.

At work, I’m having a hard time getting things done. I don’t know what to do, how to do it right, and who to reach out to for help. Emails are taking me a long time to write, and I’m often distracting myself with things I don’t really care about as much. Only thing keeping me going is the subtransmission work, which isn’t even supposed to be my main role at my job.

Also, I noticed myself gaining weight, missing my ex-girlfriend, and not having sex. Hopefully I can reduce this before it becomes irreversible.

I think I will end the year with no friends. No one is around for me anymore. Maybe I don't need friends. I find them all boring anyways and I don't know why I keep trying. I can't even join in on a conversation. I was thinking about playing volleyball again but I don’t know where to start.

Later this year, I want to get my own place, get an actuary job, and get laid by a prostitute. I’m not going to Europe anymore because of the war. Gas prices are increasing and I don’t think I’ll be using a plane anytime soon.

So my schedule will look like the following: get VEE credits and apply to actuary jobs, prostitute in July, start actuary job in August while doing my current engineering job, take exam 8 in November, take online course 3 in December.

Yield curves and EPD

I didn't do one yesterday, so I'm doing two today:

Yield curves

Expectation hypothesis: The yields are driven by the supply and demand for bonds at that time. Since the yields at time 2 is higher, there must be a lower demand for two-year bonds.

Expectation hypothesis: Investors expect yield curve to increase, which is why the yield curve is upwards sloping.

Liquidity preference: Short-term investors dominate the market. The curve is upwards sloping because they require a premium to invest in longer term bonds.

Liquidity preference: The investor requires a premium for the illiquidity of the long-term bond. The investor should not set up the synthetic forward loan because the expected short rate is less than the forward rate.

Liquidity preference theory: Investors demand a liquidity premium for investments not within their preferred horizon. If a long term investors want to lock in a future loan today, then the investor will construct a synthetic forward loan today if the investor predicts the future short rate will increase. To this investor, the liquidity premium is negative and long-term investors dominate the market.

Segmentation hypothesis: Short term bonds have a higher demand than long-term bonds, so it has a lower yield. The yield curve is upward sloping because of this.

EPD

Advantage: Considers severity of losses exceeding assets.

Advantage: Each line can be set to the same EPD ratio

Disadvantage: Does not reflect diversification benefits.

Disadvantage: Need to select an arbitrary threshold

Disadvantage: May not have enough capital to allocate to lines of business.

VAR allocates capital to achieve a given percentile threshold. The severity of losses above the threshold has no impact on allocation. The EPD evaluates the average severity of losses for those situations where losses exceed total capital. The deficit is zero when losses do not exceed capital and the difference between capital and losses otherwise. The expected deficit is a deficit to expected loss ratio. Each can be used to determine capital levels.

EPD is preferred over VAR because EPD considers the severity of losses greater than the VAR point estimate.

Risk pooling and risk sharing

Risk pooling refers to adding uncorrelated risks together. In insurance, it would be adding independent insurance exposures to a portfolio. This reduces the risk per unit, not total risk. The risk is less than proportional to the number of policies insured. This requires more capital and assets. The average expected return is more predictable, but overall losses are less predictable. The Sharpe ratio and total risk increases.

Risk pooling: Buys n assets and takes 1/n position in each. The same total amount is invested as before. The return may remain the same if similar risks are added. Risk pooling lowers variance.

Risk sharing refers to selling shares of a risky portfolio. The total investment remains constant. The investment is spread over multiple uncorrelated risks. This reduces total risk and increases the Sharpe ratio. Insurance companies produce risk sharing by ceding business to reinsurers. This allows them to write more uncorrelated risks then cede a portion of the total portfolio so that the total amount of insurance written is the same as before.

Risk sharing: Keep total investment fixed and allocate amongst additional securities. Insurance companies can sell more insurance but cede some business to reinsurers.

Risk sharing: Keep total investment fixed and allocate amongst additional securities. Insurance companies can sell shares of the company to additional investors.

First quarter 2022

I have to admit that I haven’t been meeting my actuary goals for the year. First three months of the year and I’ve been slacking on studying. I haven’t gotten a good score on any of my practice exams that would make me feel confident in passing in May. In April, I’m going to focus on the written aspect of the exam by doing what I did with Exam 5 back in 2020. I just need to remember that I can play games and find another engineering job anytime, but this exam is only a one time event.

Otherwise, work isn’t going so well. I managed to create drama again, so I’m not sure if I’ll even last a year at this job. I still feel sad about my ex-girlfriend, and my Hispanic friend doesn’t talk to me anymore. My games in Pokemon Unite haven’t been going well either. I’m thinking of just paying one of my friends to play for me while I focus on my actuary. Not much to report other than I’m using this account to write up sentences for my exam starting next week.

Just a short update before next week.

2021 recap, 2022 goals

This year I’ll combine my two essays that I usually keep separate due to my personal time constraints. I find myself having less time to write about important things now that I’m out of school and work is keeping me busy.

2021 was not a good year. Hawaii ruined everything. Hated everyone around me. They were braindead. It tried so hard to be 2018 but at the end it was bad. For work, I lost my old job, and even though it was replaced with a better offer, I never saw myself having to work at another company before getting my PE. Now those contacts at my old job are going to be harder to reach. If I don’t get the necessary signatures I need from my old job, I will have to give up on my PE license completely because I’m not spending an additional three more years to get my license because I have an actuary career to start, and I have limited time left in my life.

My new job has the potential to be great. Its not a design role, which wasn’t very interesting for me since it doesn’t work with numbers. This job is a studies role, which can help me ease the transition over to my actuary job. I haven’t gotten much into it, but hopefully I can get my feet wet in 2022 before I inevitably get fired from yet another job.

Speaking of actuary, I didn’t progress on it this year since Hawaii ruined everything. I started out studying for the PE, and when it became clear I wasn’t able to sit for it, I switched right over to studying for actuary and spent close to $800 in study materials on it.

I left my girlfriend since I knew I couldn’t handle talking to her every night, studying for Exam 9, and learning my new job at the same time. I had to get rid of her or else she would be annoyed at me for not picking up when I want to study. Also, I like playing games too which I know will take up at least another hour of my life, which means I would never study for the exam.

Entertainment wise, it has all been in the Pokemon franchise. Pokemon Masters and Pokemon Unite are the main ones. Runescape is probably dead to me, sitting next to my Neopets account. I remember spending so much time on it, but now with my actuary exams, I don’t spend as much time. Plus, Pokemon is a growing franchise while Runescape has been in the dumps lately. My achievements are more noticeable in Pokemon.

2022 goals

Part of why I failed in 2021 was due to my lack of planning. I need to plan my year better and make each month feel separate from each other, just like every year before 2020. 2021 felt like a continuous mess that didn’t stop at the end of the month, and there wasn’t enough to differentiate one month from the other.

This year, I will keep my goals short and simple:

Pass Exam 9

Learn my new job

Pokemon

Hang out with the Hispanic friend

Go to Eastern Europe

That’s it. No other friends I need to worry about, no social media, no other games, and no hobbies like working out. I just need to set up next year to get my engineering license in 2023, if not in 2022. I’ll also need to update my resume after my Exam 9 in order to account for my new job.

My PTO doesn’t stack at my new job. This means that I can’t store PTO from this year to rollover to the next. They don’t even pay me for leftover PTO. I’m planning on taking 5 days to just study for my actuary exam.

If I do go to eastern Europe, that would be great. The girls there are hot, which I like, and are easy to sleep with (supposedly).

With Exam 9, I plan on doing a lot of practice problems and readings from review manuals (CC and RF). Then I’ll move on to doing a few practice exam questions from the old CAS exams in February, from 2011 through 2016. This gives me six years of questions to go through. Also I’ll quickly skim through the source materials with the review materials next to me. I will also register for the exam if I feel ready. In March, I will take the 2017 and 2018 exams, and one of each of my CC and RF exams. In April, I will take the rest of the CC and RF exams, then finally the 2019 exam. I’ll go through the sections I feel less comfortable with.

With the actuary exams, I think I have an extra 3-5 more years before passing all the exams. I wished I knew about the exams in high school, because I could take Exam P and whatever the equivalents to MAS I and MAS II were at that time. The math for these exams didn’t require any complicated calculus, and the older MAS II was easier to the point where I could easily pass it. I failed MAS II in 2019. Then in college, I would take classes to pass FM and IFM, since now you can take a class rather than an exam to fulfill these requirements. In 2018 I would take Exam 5, in 2019 I would take Exam 8, and in 2020 I would take Exam 9, since COVID happens and I would have more time to study for it. In 2021 I would still go to Hawaii and get my PE license. When I get an actuary job in 2022, all I would have left is exam 6 and 8.

In terms of work in my ideal world, I would know the exact things to say to get the AECOM job, then switch over to HDR when the position opened in 2018. Then I would switch over to my current job when the position opened in 2021. That way, I avoid NYSERDA, I get my PE in 2021, and a growing salary.

It’s weird to think this is what life could have been. I could have progressed faster and been happier this year, but here I am.

Late October 2021 update

I’ve been struggling to motivate myself in the third quarter of this year. Everything has not been going so well. Let’s start with what I planned in my last post:

I successfully did the hook up thing in July, but I was unable to get any actuarial job interviews. In August, I did go out with my girlfriend and I helped my sister. I didn’t go for making PE Exam phone calls. In September, I did not go to Ohio. In October, I didn’t do any of that. Now for the bad news.

The major thing that happened October 1 is that I lost my job because my boss thinks I’m incompetent. I was put on a PIP, which was gay and I didn’t want to do that, so I resigned with a two weeks’ notice and they fired me as soon as I announced this. My company was a great company and paid me for my two weeks’ notice, even though they fired me on the spot.

Now I’ve given up on my PE exam for the year and I’m taking a break from studying. I will continue with Exam 9, which I’ll take in 2022. Then I’ll fulfill many extraneous requirements for the actuary position for the remainder of 2022. I will gain the experience I need in engineering to take the PE exam in Spring 2023. 

I haven’t been motivating myself to study. I’ve been thinking about it every day, but I end up playing games instead. Right now, I borrowed a Nintendo Switch from the library, where I plan on catching every Pokemon 9 times, one for each language. Apparently, if you collect Pokemon from a different language, you get their foreign Pokedex entry.

With my finances, I am officially a Wall Street Retard. I lost money on BB, AMC, and a bunch of other meme stocks, all because I took bad advice from Reddit. I need to learn to play smarter and to dump my stocks before everyone else does. I ended up going for tech stocks like AMD, NVDA, and APPL, and they’ve been making me a lot of money recently.

I have not been reaching out to others as I would like. In July, I did try to reach out to people I met in 2018 and 2019, occasionally talking to them in 2020, but none of those conversations lasted for long. I still have my girlfriend and my Hispanic friend, but those people aren’t worth keeping around in the long run. They require too much from me that I don’t have time for because of studying and gaming.

August was probably my most social month, as I went on a 3-day date with my girlfriend and went to Cornell to drop my sister off at college, where I stayed for three days. They were unique experiences that I’ll probably never get to do again.

Once I’m done with my current group of active friends, I don’t think I’ll be seeing anyone anymore. I still want to go to NYC to hook up with hot girls and get a handsome makeover to attract these girls, but COVID needs to be over first. I’ll have to go with my Latin friend. 

With entertainment, nothing really entertains me these days except Pokemon stuff. I’m going for 100% completion in Pokemon Ultra Moon. That means Battle Agency Grade 50, getting the rewards from Battle Tree, collecting all hidden items and battling every trainer, completing every side quest, and so on. I already finished the Pokedex since I imported my living Pokedex into the game before my Pokemon Bank expired.

Now with my job. I keep thinking about it. In July and September, I realized that I hated my boss. Before him, there was less stress to stay busy. This guy is disorganized and places a lot of jobs in front of me, which can easily take weeks to do. Furthermore, they all have the same timeline, which means there will be a period of time where I’ll have to work over 40 hours just to finish all my jobs. I’m glad I got rid of him, but I’m also upset I won’t be celebrating my 3rd year anniversary with this company. I hate black people.

In November, I’ll start a new job. I’ll stop playing Pokemon, I’ll start studying for my actuary exam on weekends only, and I’ll have to break up with my girlfriend. 

In December, I will continue to do all these things, clean up my room from any previous work items, just so I can start the next year with a clean room, new job, and new life.

Goals in the First Half of 2021

In June, I find myself arguing with my supervisor on the time I spent on projects. Since I am in consulting, utilization is a huge issue, and I find that I'm not able to meet my goals. I received great feedback from my Florida work.

So far in July, I had sex with my girlfriend. Utilization is still an issue. I remembered that my Apple Arcade is almost about to expire. Currently, my focus is on playing Pacman and Oregon Trail using my remaining Apple Arcade days. Its a shame that I remembered too late, since these are great games. I could always pay, but I need to focus on my work and exams.

I have a realization that I don't necessarily have to quit my engineering job in order to do my actuary job. I could work 30 hours a week or less on my engineering job while taking a remote actuary job full time in the western states. Therefore, I will be practicing job interviewing for actuarial positions in the central and mountain time zones since I don't care about those.

Meanwhile, while looking for actuary jobs, I've noticed a few interesting things. One is that there are some jobs that require actuaries that do not relate to insurance at all. There was a video on YouTube about this, which I found helpful. This motivated me to see if there are any opportunities within my company to perform similar tasks. I found there's one in NYC. However, I decided to let my friends apply. I'm hoping to hover over their shoulder as they perform their work to help me learn about data so that I can put more on my resume when applying to actuarial positions.

With my exams, Exam 9 and PE Power have taken a back seat due to Apple Arcade. I'm hoping to make progress towards those exams as soon as possible.

I know I'll have to get back into Runescape to prepare for Runefest with my friend at some point. I'm not sure if its worth playing Pokemon or the 3DS to the extent of how it was back in 2019, but I still keep Pokemon Masters around since it has low time commitment.

2021 so far and goals

I just realized I never posted my goals for 2021 this year. Its been a flop and I’ve been wondering why. I guess this is why.

January: I was eagerly awaiting to go to Hawaii. There, I could escape my parents for the first time since 2016 and not have to worry about COVID as much. I said my final goodbyes to my hispanic friend and girlfriend before leaving, got a checkup with the doctor, and did my final tasks for the Florida project at work before leaving. In the middle of the month, I went to Hawaii and learned the ropes of my new tasks.

February: I learned that my coworkers in Hawaii weren’t the ideal coworkers. They were late, yelled at me, and embarrassed me in front of others. I felt belittled working with them and I didn’t like being made fun of. It was outdoors work and I didn’t like waiting for people. My concerns would often be put aside by the guy in charge, who made everyone’s lives easier but mine. In the middle of February, I started making friends through meetup. I went on hikes and played Spikeball for the first time. The last time I went on a hike was with my girlfriend last year, then back in New Zealand in 2015. I also studied for my actuary Exam 9 a little seriously.

March: Things got worse. My father and sister came over in the middle of the month, and I started getting into arguments with my friends. That’s ok, because my family took up a lot of my time and I didn’t want to ignore them. I just wished things ended on a better note. I had Baskin Robbins for my birthday. My family was required to stay inside for 10 days before leaving, so they helped me with stuff around my apartment that I used to take care of. They got annoying since they took up my space and my father complained there wasn’t enough food. I’m not the one that needs to do the shopping anymore.

April: Worst month. My mother came, my father left for a weekend and spent at least $2,000 of my own money and left the chores for my sister. On top of that, my sister shopped for food and had me drive around, which wasted 3 hours of my life, and this was on a Friday after work. I was hoping they would go shopping while I was at work so all I would have to do was pick them up from shopping, but they weren’t very considerate of me. I was the one that paid for their trip to Hawaii. I got to drive a Tesla while I was here, which was nice. However, there wasn’t anywhere convenient to charge it so my family had to wait at the mall for it to charge. My one friend in Hawaii joined me for a Tesla ride and got breakfast with me on my last week in Hawaii. I haven’t been in touch with him for a month, although there really isn’t any point. I also got injured at work, which gave my other coworkers more reason to suspect something is wrong with me. (When the guy in charge learned about this, he just laughed). In the goodbye party with my coworkers, I spent less than 20 minutes saying goodbye to everyone because my family had stuff they wanted to do, which took up my morning. They were lucky I even showed up at all. The next week at work, I got addicted to solving a puzzle at the Honolulu office, but I didn’t finish. While I was travelling back from Hawaii, I learned I won an award at work.

May: Coming back was terrible too. I had to keep in touch with my girlfriend, and Albany friends have been demanding to talk to me. I haven’t talked to my Albany friends since probably last December when I wished them a Merry Christmas. This month is still playing out, but right now, I have another Florida project at work, I’m talking to my girlfriend every day, and I’m studying for the PE exam and BC calculus for my sister. Going forward, I’m not sure how many layers of complexity I want in my life.

So basically, everyone and everything in Hawaii wanted to set me back.

Now for the rest of 2021. I have to help my sister with her BC calculus exam in June until I can actually take a break. I also have a Florida project, and I’m learning a new role at my company that I was supposed to learn last year. The projects are starting up and looks like I’ll hit the lottery on them. 

I passed Exam 5 in December.

I have two major exams to study for: My PE and Exam 9. I have to take Exam 9 after the PE so the actuarial employers know what look for.

The rest of the year will most likely look like this:

June: Finish up helping out with BC Calculus. On top of this, we are using my Khan Academy account, which will get me closer to the Tesla badge. Except there’s no good way to farm Energy Points anymore since they got rid of the speed challenges. Once I finish BC Calculus, I’ll go back to work at least 2 times a week and start applying for actuary positions in states I don’t care about, like the western and southern ones. I just need to leave the bigger ones alone, like the east coast, Georgia, Florida, California, Texas, Nebraska, Oregon, Montana, or Washington. The goal is to pretend I’m interested then reject them. 

July: Start phone and video interviews with actuary companies to see what the industry is like and what they’re looking for. Hook up with my girlfriend near the fourth of July weekend, like July 2 or July 9.

August: Go somewhere far with my girlfriend for our one year anniversary. Help my sister move into Cornell University and provide assistance to her math classes. Make calls for some assistance in getting recommendations for my PE Exam licensure.

September: Start communicating with my Ohio friend to figure out the best time to visit. Maybe it’ll be another long trip with my girlfriend in October. Definitely take 9/30 off since the past two 9/30 was a disaster.

October: Visit my Ohio friend and see him for the first time since 2004. Wow. Ramp up my studying for the PE Exam. I’ll start to obtain recommendations and hopefully get approval to take the exam. 

November: I have no idea what I’m doing in this month.

December: I celebrate 3 years at my company. I guess I’ll keep studying for the PE exam.

I’ll know as time goes on, and I plan on posting monthly starting now. Hawaii just took too much time away from me.