Out Of Context Things Director Lazard Has Seen On The SOLDIER Floor #2
• Genesis carrying around a mop, talking and laughing with it as if they're friends.
• Sephiroth doing a cartwheel mid-walk.
• Zack in the men's room, applying clown makeup while sobbing.
• Kunsel carrying a box of random items and yelling "STOLEN ITEMS FROM RUFUS SHINRA. GET YOUR STOLEN ITEMS FROM RUFUS SHINRA" and Sephiroth approaching him with a 20 gil.
• Sephiroth and Angeal fighting over a pineapple, trying to pull it from each other's hands.
• Angeal and Genesis crouched down behind the couch in the break room, eating a cheesecake away from Sephiroth.
• Zack playing chess with Dark Star, claiming "Damn it! How are you so good at this?" while actively losing.
• Sephiroth with half his hair stuck in the elevator, calmly sipping his coffee with a sign that says "this is my punishment" around his neck.
• Angeal and Sephiroth cooing over an exotic plant in a baby stroller.
• Angeal trying to coordinate a group photo of Sephiroth, Genesis, Zack and Cloud. There was a lot of screaming, arguing and "WHERE ARE WE FUCKING LOOKING?" from Genesis because Angeal had 4 different cameras set up.
• Genesis in a lab coat conducting a science experiment to see if Sephiroth feels threatened by said lab coat. Upon seeing Genesis, Sephiroth reflexively broke his knee.
• Sephiroth taking a nap in the middle of the hallway, complete with an eye mask, pillow and sound machine. People were stepping around him.
• Genesis and Angeal carrying a kayak towards the stairwell.
• Angeal carrying Genesis with a broken leg back from the stairwell 20 minutes later.
• Cloud narrating everything Sephiroth does. "Sephiroth is now opening the door to the training facility. Sephiroth has paused. Sephiroth is now looking at me confused, which could easily be confused for his thinking about lunch face."
• Zack, blowing on a whistle, instructing a squats class.
• Zack and Cloud, both blindfolded, walking with their arms linked. They ran into a revolving door. and caused a metaphorical traffic jam inside it that ended with claustrophobic Sephiroth breaking the glass to free himself.
• The following conversation that piqued Lazard's interested greatly:
Zack: Would you like a smoke?
Cloud: Of course.
*Zack pulls out a tin of smoked ham*
• Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal and Zack holding a Séance in the middle of the day in the break room. They refused to say which entity they were communicating with.
• Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal and Zack running out of the break room screaming 20 minutes later.
• During a blackout, when Genesis was seen carrying around a candelabra like it's the 1700s and reciting an old version of Loveless. Someone threw the candelabra out the 49th floor window 10 minutes later and told him to put a sock in it.
• Zack stuck in the vending machine, calmly eating the snacks while Angeal, Sephiroth and Genesis argue over how to get him out.
• Genesis running after a copy of Loveless on a string. Sephiroth is behind a corner pulling the string.
• Sephiroth and Genesis, in The Calm Down Box™ playing Uno, screaming at each other, defeating the purpose of The Calm Down Box™
• Angeal and Genesis dragging Sephiroth (unconscious) out of a meeting. When asked if he was okay, they responded with "we had him fake a fainting spell to get out of the meeting." Sephiroth (still "unconscious") responded with a thumbs up.
• Angeal in The Calm Down Box™ with a taser, harassing anyone who came near him with it.
• Zack and the other Seconds using a prop skeleton dressed as Genesis as a practice dummy.
• The same skeleton sitting in in Genesis' office while a recording of Genesis reciting Loveless plays on loop.
• A tonberry dressed as Sephiroth walking around, terrorizing the operatives.
• Genesis in The Calm Down Box™ playing the flute and sobbing.
• Angeal playing the guitar and singing a happy campfire song while Sephiroth and Genesis were on the ground, fist fighting.
• Genesis, Sephiroth and Angeal dressed as knights while Zack and Cloud manned a single horse costume. When asked what was happening, they replied with "It's the apocalypse, but due to inflation we could only afford three horsemen and one horse."
• Zack sitting in The Calm Down Box™ except he placed it stop a skateboard and was actively trying to escape while Angeal ran after him.
• Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal riding around in a three-person bike. They crashed into a sliding glass door they didn't realize was closed.
• Sephiroth sitting in The Calm Down Box™ chugging a bottle of tequila.
• Sephiroth, Angeal, Genesis, Zack and Cloud playing twister. Utter chaos. Zack's ass in Angeal's face, Cloud has turned into a pretzel, Sephiroth and Genesis are literally tangled and stuck together.
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What do you think happens if DarkStar sees it's reflection on a mirror?
Do they see a good dog? A potential rival to their daddy's love that needs to be exterminated? Or a new best friend to play with?
• Dark Star comes across the giant mirror left out in the hallway and gazes into it.
• They see a loyal, excitable puppy playing with a tennis ball. Look at how happy it is, look at how content it is with so little.
• Dark Star continues to watch Zack's reflection behind them, wondering when he'll return the stolen tennis ball.
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