Little Oblivions- Julien Baker

☆☆☆☆☆ / ☆☆☆☆☆

January 2nd, 2022

“𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕟𝕠 𝕘𝕝𝕠𝕣𝕪 𝕚𝕟 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖, 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕘𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤”

TW: Talk of Suicide, addiction, OCD

I’m a very avid fan of Phoebe Bridgers. Who isn’t? I mean, “Motion Sickness” is absolutely sick and the lyricism in great. Through Phoebe, I found Boygenius, an absolute powerhouse of a supergroup comprised of Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus, and Julien Baker. I went straight from Phoebe’s discography to Lucy’s and for some reason, I put off listening to Julien’s. I’m not sure why I did this, because I realize now I was definitely missing out. 

Julien’s lyricism is absolutely fucking insane. All of the Biblical imagery and just the regular imagery is enough to send any of my former English teachers into a coma. This album was pure perfection and my Cancer moon had me crying throughout the entirety of the album. Every track is just gorgeous. 

The first track, “Hardline” details Baker’s trouble with addiction and relapsing. Deciding that the relapse is inevitable, Baker realizes this and rather than fighting it decides to start “asking for forgiveness in advance/For all the future things I’ll destroy/That way I can ruin everything/When I do, you don’t get to act surprised.” This line absolutely hit me hard. Also the line about splitting the difference between medicine and poison. Baker realizes this addiction is poison and is affecting her personal relationships, but she needs the numbness that comes with the drug. 

The second track, “Heatwave” is a total bop and carries the same strong imagery that’s implemented throughout all of the tracks. Her detailing the “gruesome beauty” she sees in every face. Growing up as a conservative Christian, Baker recognizes the Godliness in everyone’s face but realizes that underneath all of it, humans are ugly. This concept of ugliness and sin comes up a lot. I love the bit about wrapping Orion’s belt around her neck and kicking the chair out from under her. This is such a creative way of talking about suicide. 

I loved “Faith Healer” and the equating of heroin as this sort’ve magical cure or “snake oil,” tying it back to “Hardline.” This album feels like a book, each song building off of the other like chapters and adding onto the plot. The line about the smoke alarm going off, but nobody coming to put out the fire (i.e. her) was devastating. 

I loved “Relative Fiction” just for the line about if Baker didn’t have a mean bone in her body, she would still find a way to hurt those she loves, so her pretending to be this good person is a moot point in the long run because she still manages to damage those she cares for. I can’t explain this song nearly as well as she can, so here’s this: 

A personal favorite of mine is “Bloodshot” because it details two broken people that are so lonely, they’re willing to overlook all of their flaws and romanticize them in order to fill whatever role they need. I really related to this song. 

“Song in E” I think takes my personal cake. I was hardcore sobbing when it came on. This idea that it’s easier for the people you love to just shun you and hurt you because it’s easier to see them angry than disappointed. It makes you feel like a shitty person when you hurt them and then you get second chance after second chance and then when you cry in front of them it feels manipulative. 

Overall- this album was great and I think it might be my favorite album from the Boygenius members (I can’t decide if I like it more or the same as Punisher, but I definitely related to this album more). 

Thank you!!!

This song is crack

If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power - Halsey

January 1, 2022

☆☆ ☆ ☆ / ☆☆☆☆☆

3.75 stars

This was the first album I listened to this year. My friend, Bailey, had been begging me to give Halsey a try and I decided to take her up on that. Knowing I was a fan of Nine Inch Nails, she highly recommended Halsey’s “If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power” (Trent Reznor, member of Nine Inch Nails, teamed up with Halsey to form an unlikely duo). I did a little research before jumping headfirst into the album, as I knew it was a concept album and wanted to make sure I grasped the general gist of the story. From my understanding, this album details Halsey’s trouble with pregnancies and their joy and fear that accompanies the double lines. I love their description of trying to balance this idea of becoming the Mother Mary but by doing so, stifles their previous identity of Madonna, the Whore. Struggling with choosing, Halsey chooses to do the unexpected. Like Troy in High School Musical, having to choose between basketball and music for EVERY single movie, Halsey chooses both. She’s able to find a blissful balance between whore and mother and realizes it isn’t her that needs to change- but rather society. 

I like the production on the album. It feels unsettling, but not so much so that I want to turn it off or sound too jarring. The eeriness adds on to this fear Halsey has whilst pregnant. Will their past misdeeds catch up to her? Will she self-destruct and take those she loves along with her? 

The soft song, “Darling,” definitely stands out to me. I’m a slut for fingerpicked guitar and emotions. Going along with the sweet, lullaby that is “Darling” another stand out for me is “Ya’aburnee,” which translates (to my understanding) to “you bury me.” Halsey laments that she loves her future child and their partner so much that they cannot stand the thought of existing without them- to the extent that she has to die before they do. It’s a sweet, sorta morbid sentiment that I think most people can relate to. 

I love the production on “Whispers.” I love the soft little whispers Halsey lets out and the desperation they feel trying to fill this endless void. Worrying that she cannot be a good parent because of their recklessness and and hyper-sexuality and need to be loved. 

Overall, I really enjoyed this album and it’s honestly a no-skip album. I haven’t seen the film that goes along with it- but I imagine my friend will make me watch it with her when we go back to college after break. 

Thank you!