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an-old-inca-poet-blog · 4 years

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scared and educated

I had been having an urge to start some type of project, but never got around to it. Being the begging of a new year I decided to make it my new years resolution. However I was struggling to come up with a solid topic. So on new years eve instead of doing some honest brainstorming I was out getting hammer like the rest of the world.I mean like totally shitfaced, trailer trashed, obliterated, whatever you wanna call it. As unlikely as it seems though i had a dream that same night well i wouldn't call it a dream though. More like a hybrid between a nightmare and the most breath taking thing you've ever experienced.

You see it was memorable,but at the same time choppy and static like if video was on a low resolution while loading a chunk of the video playing and then stopping again.

At first i was in front of my computer in my study writing at an alarming speed as if my life depended on it.I could see the words but apparently i was typing so fast it looked as if i was scrolling and i was unable to read them. i felt a deep yearning in my heart though while i was there as if my heart never truly existed before that exact moment. Like you were a kid and somehow just figured out how to fly or catch their own shadow would be if they had been trying for so long. What was the meaning behind these words that were flying past my face?

Was it some billion dollar idea i was just documenting so i wouldn't forget later, a secret i had to uncover waiting to be exposed, a journal perhaps, none of these really had any meaning to me so why did this specific thing make my heart yearn for something.

then i was someplace new and there was a man not too old but not young either in their 20-30 range and we were in some type of facility.he didn't say anything to me either just serenely stared at me. not in a way that was bothering just in a way as a father might look upon his son or daughter from afar at the Olympics. just proudly in awe of the moment and their love for them.

and the presence i felt from this man was nothing id ever felt before. calming yet stern. joyful yet realistic. present but yet so otherworldly.

last there was a great abyss, darkness beyond belief, it felt as if i jumped head first into a black hole. great pain and anguish.

i woke in a lake of terror and sweat. had i not known it was sweat i wold have thought i pissed the bed.

I need to write a fucking book.

the next day i started my topic brainstorming

being the psychologist that i am i figured my best suited topic would be about psychology. it seemed like a no brainier although just because you know a lot about something doesn't mean you can write a book about it.

for a few days while driving back and forth from my work i was mulling over topics. and i decided i wanted to write about how different disorders affect different people and what those same people used to behave according to their file at least.

i emailed a few local specialized hospitals because i wanted to go and visit and talk to patients with the most extreme cases of these disorders to make my writing more interesting

finally i got a response to go to one of the more major hospitals in my area and in the state since i live within an hour and a half away i scheduled a weekend where i could go there all three days friday through sunday to get some material.

friday came and i was on my way there slightly nervous in extreme cases patient can some times act very irradicaly to new people but i was informed i would be accompanied by satff at all times

i met went through the typical diagnosis patients like multiple personality, schizophrenia, extreme bipolar, some strange anomaly cases and the last person was diagnosed with religious delusions and had been here since 2012

he we 33 when he was admitted

we walked down a long hallway to a cafeteria and there was a man in a wheelchair with a beard and long brown hair. and immediately as i entered the room i recognized the presence. the face had eluded me from the dream but this prescence was undeniable

as we walked over getting closer the man beckoned me over lovongly calling me by name

“Hey anon you wouldn’t believe how much joy it brings me seeing your face knowing you chose to come here’

i was astonished yet also expected something explainable to happen. i mean i just had real deja vu of this very moment so how could i be surprised but i was.

i followed his orders and took a seat infront of him as there was a chair waiting for me.

he says after i sit down” i haven't done this in ages but i guess times are like they were back then”

back then? back when?

“oh you know “ as he tried to make what i interpreted as a boat floating in the ocean gesture with his hands

whats that supposed to mean?

“well let me put it this way the book you write is going to be more than a best seller and i heard that from a good authority as he pointed up towards the cieling.

the all of a sudden he reached over and gently gasped my wrist i didnt back away i wasnt scared just startled

“can you see them?”

see what?

i hadnt noticed in my peripheral many bright lights light they just put high beams on a new care on but it was just out of my field of view.

then i looked around.....

thousands

thousands upon thousands of beings i can only describe as angels stood filling the cafeteria.

all just shy of the 12 ft ceiling each shined as brilliant as the next.

with their hands together as if they were praying

and i think they were

but then came the most beautiful music that would grace my ears as countless orchestra instruments played in unmatched unity and perfection

a voice which sounded like many chimed words i knew but didnt understand all so familiar.......(part 1)

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if you read this far thank you your time and attention

part two will be out soon so dont worry if you like it let me know

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an-old-inca-poet-blog · 4 years

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Dear Beloved,

I retreat for the hills now as shadows do during sunrise,

The warmth of my land and kingdom escape me to the sound of the jungle as I ascend,

Foreign invaders once thought to be gods trail me like panthers although they are men,

So what is the great sin of I, that they accuse us, My people and I,

That in fact we are savages, ignorant of civilization, lowly of culture,

Whilst I travel towards our mountains of marvel, our feats of engineering, the pinnacle of civilization upon our continent,

Yet I am the king of savages, ruler of animals with faces of men, emperor of the ignorant,

NO, I am no savage, my people walk upright and are not animals, and we are far from ignorant,

Savage are men who glance upon another culture and immediately begin schemes of genocide and destruction,

Animals are those that can’t comprehend other culture simply because its different and choose to bury it in an attempt to relinquish its existence,

Ignorant are the people that assume we were bested because they were better.

Ignorant are those who write history as they only write one side truthfully.

So dear beloved remember as men and time fades away, as rulers and borders change, you will always be the land of the INCA.

#poetry #native #history

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