So now that introductions are over i guess we roll right into the meat of this blog. 

This week was nominal

I had a slight cold earlier this week but it seem to have subsided by now. 

I feel that my job undermines my intelligence, but not as much as my younger sister.

She has pontential to be even better that me but choices to waste her talent.

Back to the subject of my work( have to work on non tangential write)

I work at a wing shop as a waitress. Though im the fastest, and most effiecient i have never gotten the employee of the month.

This fustrates me. Because i know that i have never gotten one order wrong or not a plate to late to the table. 

My boss tells me its my interpersonal skills i need to work on.

Im not cut out for the unlogical process of this place

Im thinking of leaving the nest. No matter how much i save staying with my parents. I can no longer focus there. But not just there anywhere really. 

What can i do?

- Lizbeth X.

So see if you can follow. 

The other day i was walkin home from work, yeah i know im still there. There is nothing else, though i still dont wanna be there. Anyway walking from work and i stop by the shop on the corner to get something to beat this dry ass heat. 

Well i get in the store and i find that same girl from a while back. This time see didn't notice me. I watch as she burrowed through rack after rack of chips like a hamster. This girl was weird. After she got her snack she walked up to the counter. Look up at the cashier and quickly averted her eyes as if it burn to make eye contact. Just then as she turn to avoid the eye contact her hair which was until now draped across her face, parted till i could see these eerie green piercing eye. I wanted to bye Felicia this girl like she did me the other day but those deep sad eyes had me frozen. I don't get it man. Shes not particularly cute or fun looking, but i cant take my eyes off of her. 

am I

man i can get caught up in these female

but this is sticking to my soul

I don't know what to feel. 

-jamal

YOOOWWZZAA

Good evening peeps boooi do i have and update for you.

Recently i got into this new anime  #attackontitan you should 

CHECK IT OUT!

I also got to go to a con over the weekend it was. It was nutS!

The  rave was cool and all the artist were the best. I got a last of us print and was all like 

Ive also being thinking about starting a lets play channel so keep an eye for that. I think my first game will be my most recent purchase Dust an Elysian Tale. For all of you furries out there this is that game to get. And for the Norms Its a pretty awesome RPG.

My friend is trying to get me to play mmo but those can be a beast to get out of once you sucked in. Plus all of the elin action kinda makes me uncomfortable.

On that note im signing off guys. Hit me up. Who know you might even see me in the future with a bit of a sway. lol jk no fan services for you all.

though expect to hear my voice on my lets play KDGURL: game til you wat.

NIGHT

（￣ー￣）KENNEDI

I have been past out for a unknown number of days. Not that it matters as one day bleeds into the next. I wonder if my little girl was here would the day go by so insignificantly. 

Had to find a new residence today because the shack i was residing in had been over run by those monsters as i lay having nightmare after coma inducing nightmare. Though my nightmare might prove to be more real than my waking hours. At least in them i can feel something, even if it is only fear. Here on the outside of my consciousness i walk around with these monsters as if we are comrades. I hold no feelings for these worthless beast. 

Cant really say that i hold much value for myself though. If it weren't for those brief moments of normality ( for the lack of a better explanation) I would have offed my self long ago.  

One happen the other day. I was climbing the stairs of the new building i'm in when for a brief moment I said to of the rotting creatures in front of me flash and turn into a women and her child. The woman was shielding the child and the child was point in my direction. Frighten that one of the creatures had snuck up behind me i turn to see. There was nothing. i turn back to focus on the mother and child basked by the bright clean walls and illuminating florescent lights, only to find the same old familiar decaying pay and to of the creatures hurriedly scuttling past me headed for the stairs. For that instantaneous moment i didn't smell the death of the world i lived. 

Am I losing my mind.

I must push on for the hopes that i can find my way.

-Malcolm

Let me get something perfectly clear. 

There is a certain way that everything is meant to be. This ordnance can be dictated by firm logic and stead fast diligence. This is my Modius operandi.

So today i will present you with the facts.

I'm twenty seven, educated and married to my occupation.

I enjoy reading and fact checking wikipedia pages in my free time

I have a semi photographic memory and a slight dyscalclia

Though this tends to trip me up from time to time it doesnt make me any less efficient.

With that said don't misunderstand. This is no shady back alley dating profile. I divulge this information in the hope that it makes your reading experience easier to follow. What every i say, any misjudgment of my character can be clarified by refer to the previous information. Do not mistake me for the asinine people that usual blog. I am doing this to decompress not for your enjoyment.

Work was eventful. My evening was typical and I sense that my friend might be harbor some feelings for me.

Item 1. Make sure to nip any notion of a non platonic relationship in the bud

hmm who would have thought

i feel slightly better already

the first non idiotic idea from my sister

there's a first for everything

signing out,

Lizbeth X.

I have a feeling that im going to be changing careers soon. Who know even locations. Im gettin tired of the same routine. It get fustrating when you know that you can do way more. You kept telllin your self

'Man this is the day, this day is mine. No ands ifs or buts. We a going to get it together were gonna do it better than before.'

The shit is outta hand. Been goin round in circles for the last five years.

It time to hit the road and go. So.. Whats stoppin me?

Look I aint no pussy, i can handle mah business, but im not gonna just leave and fail. Coming back like a dog with his tail between his legs. I just need a little more time, some planning you know just to get a feel for it...

Hey though ya boi is keepin it tough. I got most of my bills on lock and i aint starving so i feel i have come a long way. 

Im done jusifyin though. What you feelin to day world. how are you getting past your anxiety. I'll get it right but for now i gotta crash.

Later yall

-Jamal 

So the net is ablaze!

Starting my new blog cause my opinions need to be heard.

Hello my tumblebuddies. 

Everything is happening so fast. I can't WAIT, til the next gen consoles arrive. I have already taken a whole month off after the release just to get adequately and intimately assimilated with my gaming overloads.

Which one will i choose? Wellll......

im not going to tell you

Im gonna keep you on suspense for a little longer, I will tell you this though. Next console will be black... lawl.

Anyway really pump cause in the next couple of weeks im gonna be staffing a con. FEEL MAH AUTHORITY.

Cant wait to see all the awesome cosplay and the great swag ~it gives me the goosepimlples~ lol

My friends tell me im getting to old for this but im sure this is whats gonna keep me alive.  I just hope i get a hold of me a strapping of age CLOUD or VASH this time. oh the shirtless costumes are the best squee some glomps are definitely in order.  Anywho I got to get up for work in the morning so ill have to feel you in with some deets about the latest series Im watching Nyannn.

Byeeaaazzzz My lovelies 

#kennidi 

First of i have to apologize. No cat today,

I just haven't been feeling it lately. But i Promise its next on my agenda.

Being an extreme introvert brings me to certain highs and lows when it comes to inspiration. I find it hard to associate my works worth when normally i have no interest in sharing with anywhere for fear of rejection. I guess you can say i have fear of failure.

Just with failure of general being rather than acceptance. Oh well O.-

Sometimes, just sometimes i find the outside worth so fascinating. I mean how do you do it. all seven odd billion of ya =O

I die a little inside knowing there is more than me and my mom but right outside my house there are billions, count them, billions of people. living in millions of different ways, speaking thousands of languages, and with hundreds of variations of style inspiration and moral responsibilities.

I almost seem insignificant. So yesterday and today i stayed in a corner in my room under a blanket. Some call it anxiety, I call it processing.

Its a lot out there. And though i want to be able to interact with it all and to be reveled by the masses. I cant see my self talking to the mail man that i see every day.

I will master this though cause if  7 billion people can do it ever day why cant I hmmmmm    (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

sorry got a bit over excited anyway tomorrow is a new day. Expect a cat cause a sensible feline is what you shall get.

Wish me luck

~Lindsey

Lately

I find my self thinking of my daughter....

If there was one thing left in this putrid world that had any life it would be her. But im sure by now she has been swallowed by these sea of corpses. I talk to my therapist again about her. She says i should get better so i can see her. Wise words coming from a stuff animal. Though im not the one thats sick, Its the rest of the world. Its been five years since the virus spread. I dont know how i became immune to it but sense my exposure i can no longer see her. Even though im not a corpse like the masses around me Im sure the infection is attack me cause i have moment where i am enveloped in hallucinations. I dont really like to think of them as such, because for me they are more like dreams. In these Dreams the infection never happened and society is thriving. i could even swear i can hear the sweet melody of my daughters favorite lullaby. Cant think of her right now! I have to find something to eat. Why do i keep this hopeless existence going.   

For now I think its in hope that one of my delusion will show me her.

My sweet chipmunk.

                                                                                      -Malcolm

Man.. today was wild.

Kinda backward mixed up in a twist kinda day.  I dont normal care about the people at work but they made me so mad today. Ole girl at the helpdesk was straight trippin, on my ass every five seconds. The vendors could chill for a sec and tell me the answers i need. I mean dude trashed my ticket. Working in tech support is hard for a brotha. And to top it all off i came home and got into with the girl. I can't win. But neither can the spurs by the sight of that final score. Some days i wonder what it would be like to just escape. It gets tough being down here living from day to day paycheck to paycheck. Though i have to say I'm better off than most. I just thought there would be more. Like i struggle project, get my education, and beats some odds coming out as one of the better sibling. Though my life style puts some strains in my relationship with my family. Working so hard has kept me away from the majority of my friend. Fuck I cant deal to much longer. Was at the convenience store the other day and some girl looked at me like i was the plague. Its sad to see such hatred still in the world. Thats something for you to think about. Crush da haters. Live da life.

                                                                                       -Jamal

Holla

Hiya!

Another day for us, Right?...

Who am I kidding, for there to be an us it would we require a me going out in to the world and talking to a them. I wish i wasn't so .... dumb.

Like serious in the presence of other people i turn into the pinball wizard, no sight no hearing and definitely no sound.

I'm glad i can talk to you. Though i image no one is seeing this so its easier for me  to talk to nothing. But hey, its a step eh? I tell ya what guys, I got really close to talking to the cashier today at the convenience store. 

He asked me 'Anything else little lady'

And i open my mouth. I'm sure that i was going to say something. But i immediately closed and rush out the store. I'm sure ill be in full conversation mode by the end of the week. Heh....

Anyway I'm starting a new project today. TODAY! I will draw for you a cat, not just any cat you see. One with whiskers and a monocle and top hat. It will be quite fancy. Who knows i might even show ya when I'm finish.

Man keeping my self busy during summer break is hard. I mean during the school year i had home work and constantly looking toward the ground to avoid eye contact. Man those were some work days but its kinda boring at home. 

Mom says  I should go out a makes some friends. I've so far convinced her that i have tons of friends and they are just all on family vacations. Man if she knew of my crippling shyness she'd probably send me to summer camp. (Shudder) I don't think i could survive :(

Anyway i had to get off here, its time for amateur hour and the art studio (my attic :P).

Thanks for listening guys you don't know how much it means that you are not real. 

~lindsey =^_^=

Its funny how a small series of events change existence for everyone. I wouldn't know though, for me everything is in a constant state of flux. Its hard to communicated verbally to others, my sickness mixed with mumbles cause for words that are never within ear shot. My therapist says that writing will help straighten my thoughts. Since my writing is as coherent as my speech I decided to blog. My therapist tries her best to help me regain access to the 'real world'. This keeps me skeptical of her because I'm sure i am the only one able to see clearly. How we fall, how we hate, how we cower. We as people are in a state of decline. Its not surprising though seeing as how everyone around me are decaying. The reanimate dreading along from one day to the next in puzzling patterns.  I could try to reach out to them, but who talks to the dead, though for now the dead might be my only outlet of interaction. It helps to get this out. Though no one can see this. Not anyone left to see this. I'm going to stop trusting my therapist, after all shes just a stuffed rabbit that my daughter gave me before she was taken away. What does a rabbit know. My world is real, probably more so than yours. I think for now ill shuffle out into the streets, blend with the corpses, so i can feel like i belong. Have to be careful though almost came into contact with one the other day. I don't think I'm allowed to touch them.... I might cease to exist. Funny thing, existence.

                      - Malcolm