am i afraid of my own creativity?

i just had a very interesting thought. i've heard it said that as adults, when not supported or encouraged as children in our creativity, we loose it going into adulthood. even with support, the reality of the world beats the creativity, spontaneity, off-beats thinking and acting that fosters creation out of us.

as an adult, trying to live my life freer from the constraints of reality and tapping into my artistic, creative side... i find myself finding any excuse to not dedicate time to creating. laundry to fold. work thoughts to think. distractions of social media. thing that are not urgent or important or even really necessary. has the crushing weight of our social expectations turned my excitement around being creative into fear? has it created a sense of overwhelm rather than joy when i finally have free time to enjoy creating something?

or should i give myself more grace - is it just a side effect of my anxiety, my adhd, my depression, that doing things that the world has taught me to associate with 'productivity' gives me tangible satisfaction of accomplishment that i could equally (or even more so) get from creating?

trying to remind myself from now on: creativity is productive. creativity is not laziness. creativity is not something to be afraid of or overwhelmed by. creativity is productive for the self and soul - if it were not, society would not try so hard to crush it in an effort to redirect that energy to what it deems valuable. creativity frees us from those expectation, and should be embraced.

here, have a luna pic for cat tax

Daydreaming about houses overgrown with climbing plants

instagram | the.dahlia.house

by shelleycarline_design

Basket of freshwater jellyfish. For salad.

By: Svetlana | ingwervanille

why is it like this everywhere i just want fall and winter 😭

i felt that i hadn’t appreciated the flowers enough so i took time to see them sparkle in this warm august shower

Mushroom Lamps // The Snowmade on Etsy

(by Hëllø i’m Wild)

instagram | birgittetheresa

Ac fall vibes ❤️🍁🍂

Acta non verba

instagram | easthilllfloral

Book gargoyle

Van Gogh details