@aliciajoy: quote from 6 year olds at class last night. Kid 1: "I want to dance like you one day, Miss Ally." Kid 2: "I want to have boobs like you one day, Miss Ally." #keepingitreal

Text | Ally & Logan

Logan: Me not getting it up would be on you not being able to turn me on.

Logan: Yeah, because everyone knows everyone married with kids are fucking happy. Your little amateur diagnosis is cute though. Typical psych student.

Ally: Sorry. Two inch dicks don't tend to excite me enough to really try.

Ally: Hey, I'm never getting married and never having kids. But having some sort of family does tend to give you a reason to break out of that hermit shell.

Ally: It wasn't a diagnosis, it was an educated guess which you proved right. Don't you play poker? Oh wait, I guess it would be bingo for you.

Text | Ally & Logan

Logan: You'd like that too much.

Logan: Creeping in my window now?

Ally: Probably. Until you couldn't get it up and then my night would be ruined.

Ally: HAH! No, law student remember? Plus a minor in behavioral psychology. You're a classic case of a submissive political worker who has no personal life. No wife, no kids, no hobbies. I would feel bad for you if I were a better person.

Text | Ally & Logan

Logan: 48. Don't be rude.

Logan: Yeah, cause nothing says living like liver damage and hearing loss!!

Ally: What are you gonna do? Spank me?

Ally: It's better than working every day until 8 pm, ordering from the same two take out places and looking forward to soap operas on the weekend.

“Because they’re richer and don’t mind stepping on people to make more money that they don’t need?” Somewhere in the world, she was certain the hypocrite alarm was blaring because of her. 

“Hey, do you ever think about how fucked up it is that we allow others to be in charge of people? Like, companies have bosses, countries have presidents…and I dunno. It’s just fucked up because why are they better than anyone else?” He blinked. “I’m a little more stoned than I thought I was.”

“That’s still fantastic, Landon! The front page is a big deal!”

“Look- Just look at this! My article is front page!! Maybe not the headliner, but it’s front page!! This is awesome!”

mason-kellum:

“–do you think I’m a failure?” He asked, speech slightly slurred as he drowned the whiskey coke down. “Is that relative? And if it is– do you think it’s more about your capabilities or what you want out of life?”

“Ugh, I spent all day debating the merits of being a fuckboy at work. Do we have to have the same conversation here too?” Good thing he was her friend, otherwise she’d have been out of here by now. Ally held up a single manicured finger as she finished the rest of her drink, setting it down with a clumsy thunk before talking. “I think, that you’re way smarter than you credit yourself for. You got into a good school and then med school, and that didn’t make you happy. But honestly, I think you would be a failure if you just assumed everything in your life was a success. You’re 25, you’re not supposed to be successful yet.” That wouldn’t have made sense to sober Ally, but she had absolutely no filter when she was tipsy. Plus, everything she was saying went against what she had been taught all her life. She went to take another sip of her drink, pouting at the empty bottom of her glass. “Aw, boo! Where’d my drink go?”

“Ugh, I hear ya. My neighbors have gotten to the point where when a delivery truck comes down our block, they assume it’s for me.”

“I swear someone needs to ban me from Amazon. Moving here has caused me to buy way too many things and I think my neighbors are starting to think that I have a major shopping addiction.”

✉ || Matt ⇄ Ally

Matt: I know you're all about being "fashionably late" to shit, but it's gonna be a packed house on Sunday. So if you want a seat, or even a good standing spot from where you can see the game, I stroooongly suggest you get there early.

Matt: And by strongly suggest, I mean, do it.

Ally: How early is early?

Ally: I don't need to see the TV, as long as I can still see the cute fans I'm as happy as a clam.

text || Ken + Ally

Kennedy: Come out to the bars!!

Kennedy: I know it's only Tuesday but I wanna dance and I'll buy you a drink or two ;)

Ally: You sure drive a hard bargain!

Ally: I never turn down free drinks, no matter what day it is.

grace-marcone:

“Of course, anytime. I’m sure you can take care of yourself I just wouldn’t want it to get to that point but I’ll stop hovering I promise.”

“It definitely wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened to me. You can’t tell me you’ve never taken a cute photo of yourself and wanted to show it off?”

sgt-colin-cleary:

“I might bring back that word now that you mention it,” he nodded with a laugh. “Thanks. I’m not hammered, Ally. And I’m not trying to hijack your night. I can find a way home, I won’t drive,” he promised, scratching the back of his neck. “Ginny,” he laughed softly with a nod. “Things are going good, so far. It’s still pretty new. How about you– any prospects?”

“Oh, great. Me and my big mouth. What’s next? Ascots and pastel pants?” She fished a bill out of her bra, passing it over the counter and casually shrugged at Colin. Her going out purse was small! She didn’t have room to carry her bills and her keys in the bag. “I don’t mind. You used to drive me home all the time even if I’d only had one beer.” Ginny. Right. That was the girl that was always sending Mia presents to the office, or dashing off with her at lunch. Ally was sort of envious of her boss for it ... she didn’t have a best friend who’d do that for her. “That’s good! I’m happy for you.” Her nose wrinkled when he asked if there was anybody in her life right now, immediately shaking her head. “Hell no, definitely not. I was seeing someone for a bit, but he and his daughter moved out of town. Oh! I started teaching my own dance class?” 

Text | Ally & Clay

Clay: Who buys those anymore? Only 40 year old pervs who won't get a divorce. I'll call you pretty again.

Clay: I like it, but I need more angles

Clay: Thank you, just get me the best legal defense possible

Clay: Because you're acting like it?

Clay: Well I know you've never had to fake one with me so I'll buy you guys the next round next time.

Clay: Ahhh that makes sense, probably safer too. Is he better now?

Ally: Oh, sorry. I should have said subscriptions to dirty websites? 😒 You wouldn't.

Ally: Sorry buddy, this skirt is too tight for me to spread my legs properly. Can I interest you in some boobage?

Ally: I'll do my best. Just try not to leave any bodies laying around, those are kind of hard on an innocence plea.

Ally: I am not! I made a rhetorical joke and you got all defensive thinking I was threatening her? And now I'm pissed off because this is feelings and we don't do feelings. Can we just drop it?

Ally: I guess? When we took him to the hospital we found out he'd had at least 2 heart attacks that he didn't seek treatment for, so he had to retire. But at least he's still alive.

etiennejoyce:

“The kid has enough toys, he doesn’t need to be playing with mine,” Etienne stated, sounding twenty years older than he was. “I kind of do. I’m curious now. Yes Ally, I know you, just apparently not that side of you. Where the hell was this when we were in high school and I was a hopeless virgin? Y’know just because I’m with a guy doesn’t mean the sight of a chick will kill me.” 

“Aw, but Ettie! He’s so cute with his chubby little cheeks!” Her siblings were lucky that she was only a few years older than her nieces and nephews. If they had been born when she was 23 and had a steady job, they’d have been spoiled rotten. Unfortunately, her friends had drawn the short straw. “Well, I’m not just gonna show you my nudes folder! I’m not nearly drunk enough. We’re all bi, it’s 2017! I just don’t want you to be one of those friends who maintains eye contact with my nipples.” She opened and closed her mouth a few times, deciding to throw caution to the wind with a shrug. “This side of me has always been there, I guess. I had the biggest crush in the world on you, for a long time. But you treated me like a sister, so I didn’t say anything.”

aria-logan:

“I think it’s about as useful as being able to touch your tongue to your nose.”

“Well, at least it’s good for getting guys to buy you drinks?”

sgt-colin-cleary:

“I like that. He’s got some spunk, huh?” Colin shook his head, shoulders rising to a shrug. “I’m fine. It’s just been a long week… getting back into classes and stuff, you know?”

“I think in his days they called it groove?” She didn’t even want to count the amount of empty glasses in front of him, bregrudingly sliding the glass she was holding hostage over to him. “Well - if you’re hammered, I guess I’m driving. Could I have a diet coke, please?” She asked the bar tender, trying to remember how they could not talk about things without taking their clothes off. “So - how are things going with ...” all right, she had no idea what the girlfriend’s name was.

Text | Ally & Logan

Logan: You say it like it's a bad thing. Maybe you need to and that way you don't have to have your loud parties at the house.

Ally: That's because it is a bad thing? Aren't you only like, 40?

Ally: Maybe you need to learn to live a little!