alexclaremont-diazbutnot
virgil, no!!
you said you read me like a book but the pages are all torn and frayed
sid itur ad astra ~virgil
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I just realized this jacket is so underrated for Steddie.
Because Eddie would be an absolute menace about that shoulder pocket. He'd keep trying to sneak things into it just to see how much he can get away with.
He gets away with it all the time.
Eddie is so damn proud of himself. He is the reverse Artful Dodger. Absolute sleight of hand god. Natural 20 every damn time.
Meanwhile, Steve just patiently waits and deliberately keeps looking away until he's sure his gremlin boyfriend's fingers are no longer wriggling into his pocket. The biggest challenge is not laughing at Eddie's fake innocent expression when Steve looks at him right after another mischief. He finds it absolutely hilarious that Eddie genuinely seems to think he's being super sneaky, so he keeps humoring him.
Occasionally Steve realizes his shoulder is getting considerably heavy, or something starts digging into his flesh, and he sighs and empties it all into a designated drawer in his bedroom. It's already full of little rocks of all shapes and colors, acorns, dry flowers, kids' marbles, bubble gum wrappers, bird feathers, beer caps and old movie tickets.
It's absolute trash, technically. A trash dragon hoard. But he doesn't have the heart to throw it all away. And he's glad he didn't, by the time their one year anniversary arrives, because Robin (who's in on the joke, obviously) gives him the coolest gift idea.
Steve arranges all the items inside a frame and covers them in epoxy resin. When he presents his gift to his boyfriend, Eddie's a total mess of simultaneously laughing, crying and trying to devour Steve's face. He proudly hangs this masterpiece up above his bed.
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I love flustered and uncertain Steve as much as the next person but Steve Harrington has game and he’s going to lay it on THICK to get his man.
Steve starts by consulting with Robin and Dustin on Eddie’s various interests and how best to make it clear he wants to kiss him on the mouth
Dustin is initially horrified at the thought of something going wrong and make his life harder because then he’d have to deal with two moping dads instead of two pining dads. He knows they both suck at being rational so he needs this to not blow up
Steve starts buying little things for Eddie to begin the ‘courting process’ as he’s calling it (hey he’s going to get in character and woo his damsel and druids master or whatever)
These gifts include: a set of dice, a big heavy duty safety pin, blank tapes (yes he’s hoping to get a mix tape out of that one), sewing thread (because Steve pays attention dammit) and a hair tie ‘you can’t hide away that pretty face all the time Munson’
Steve is on fire, he’s inviting eddie out to dinner, movies, even asking about the local gig scene
The thing is, Eddie has no game. Negative game in fact, the guy punches trees, rolls around in the dirt and can’t even look at Steve without blushing or saying the most out of pocket thing that he agonises over later when he’s lying in bed and trying to sleep
Eventually, eventually, after Steve has played all his cards and Eddie is suitably flustered once again, Steve is leaving Eddie’s (he was getting an education on Judas Priest). Steve is dedicated to his chivalrous approach to just as he’s at the door, he leans in a press a kiss to Eddie’s cheek murmuring ‘thanks for the enlightening experience Eddie, maybe I could return the favour next time’
Before Steve gets fully out of the door Eddie has pulled him in by the collar, thrown caution to the wind and kisses Steve breathless. He leaves the trailer walking backwards and still in conversation with Eddie, bumping into his car and waving as he drives away
The next day he goes into work Dustin happens to be there, conspiring with Robin on Steve’s next Eddie related movie. Steve pushes both doors open, sunglasses on and announces to a very busy family video ‘Harrington still has it baby’
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eddie making this cute face specifically:
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Why is it always ‘queer people are projecting their identities onto characters’ and never ‘straight people are presuming that their identity is the default’?
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i want oblivious idiot-to-lover eddie but specifically autistic eddie who’s well aware that he is Feeling Things but doesn’t understand how to interpret the sum of the sensations/thoughts he’s having as romantic love.
“i’m not in love with him, i just think he’s interesting to look at. and the veins in his hands are nice. and i feel a weird pang in my chest when he speaks and i have this ridiculous and near constant urge to feed him soup on my couch, is that— is that what people mean by love?”
and robin just like “….dingus. please.”
“what?! how should i-”
“-what do you mean ‘what’? did you think it was going to feel like literal fireworks in your chest or something??”
“i don’t know!! maybe!”
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Thinking about Eddie, who keeps finding Steve cuddling up with everyone in The Party except him.
Steve and Robin spooning (Robin is always the big spoon) he's used to, they nap together all the time.
But then, there was the time he found Dustin all curled up next to Steve on the couch, Steve's arms holding him close. Dustin's beat-up edition of The Hobbit open on Steve's lap.
And that morning after a sleepover where Steve wasn't in his bed and Eddie found him cuddled between El and Max in his parent's unused queen size bed, Els face buried in Steve's chest and Max clinging to his back, doing the best imitation of an octopus Eddie had ever seen, Max hand reaching over Steve to hold El's hand. (Eddie had run to get Robin's polaroid and taken a picture) Turns out Steve went to say good night but ended up being dragged into their conversation about how stupid boys were and ended up falling asleep.
And then there was that afternoon he was skating with Max and they found Lucas and Steve snoozing in the grass after basketball practice, Steve on his back, arms behind his head and legs crossed and Lucas using Steve's stomach as a pillow.
Weirdest one was Steve and Argyle in the Wheeler's basement that one time Nancy invited them over cause her parents weren't home. The excuse was they were too high, or at least Steve was since Argyle's tolerance is way higher. But seeing Steve sprawled out on the couch with Argyle on top of him, laying between his legs, cheek mushed over Steve's pecs while Steve lazily combed his fingers through Argyle's hair, changed Eddie as a person.
Just...everyone clinging to Steve and Eddie witnessing it all and dying inside because, when is his turn?!
The worst part is he doesn't even want what everyone else had. He wants to be the one to hold Steve, not the other way around, he wants to cuddle him, caress his hair, to hold him close and be his pillow, and offer his body and mind as comfort for the boy who offers everything of his to others and asks nothing in return.
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Just thinking about barista Eddie with his big hair all up in a messy bun, and he’s a supervisor so he’s stressed, but he’s pro his team of little coffee nerds (max, dustin and Erica probably) and very anti-asshole customer
So office-job bisexual Steve is just minding his business walking into The Daily Grind and sees this lanky sexy as hell angry man just ripping a customer a new one for disrespecting one of his team members
Robin: “Steve you’re staring.”
Steve: “Robin, I love him.”
Robin: “Then you can go order our coffees, dingus.”
Steve: “oh my god Robin I can’t talk to him!”
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Pleaseeee I need the live stream audience’s (and their fbi agent) reaction to Steve pulling the nail bat out to defend Ozzy’s honour. The series is so amazing thank you for giving it to us!
Considering the fact that Eddie got Steve to sit down on the bed, kissed his forehead, and then left Steve, Ozzy, and the live-stream to go ‘talk’ to Dan, the unanimous reaction among the chat was, what the actual fuck.
Steve, mindless to the live-stream, flops back on the bed with a loud sigh and doesn’t even complain when Ozzy, still wet from what little time he had in his pool, jumps up on the bed next to him. Steve ruffles Ozzy’s wet fur and tells him, “You deserve nice things, buddy. If an asshole breaks your things, you have every right to break their face. That’s justice, right?”
Ozzy puts his paw on Steve’s chest and Steve nods, “You get me.”
Meanwhile, the chat is blowing up with people being like ‘adorable’ and ‘cute’ and ‘I wish he’d pet me like that’ while other people who aren’t incurably horny are just like, ‘are we going to talk about the bat? Why the fuck does that thing exist? Why does it look used? Why is it being wielded by a middle school teacher with fucking ease???’
“He’s a jock,” Eddie answers. “Of course, he has a bat. All jocks have bats.”
‘NOT WITH NAILS IN IT’ The chat explodes.
“Home security?” Eddie tries with a shrug. “I’ve been trying to get him to GET RID OF IT for decades now.”
Steve doesn’t even lift his head when he says, “I got rid of my axe.”
“You had your axe taken away from you,” Eddie replies because that was true. After the gates were officially closed, the government confiscated everything that so much as breathed in the direction of the Upside Down. Both Steve’s axe and Eddie’s sweetheart were taken.
The only reason the nail bat survived was because the government didn’t know it existed.
A couple days later when half his live-stream chats are still filled with people being like ‘why was he so comfortable holding it?’ and ‘this is a prop from a music video, right?’ and ‘please answer or I’m going to actually die,’ Eddie does provide an answer. He says, “Try googling Hawkins, Indiana. I think that’ll answer all of your questions.”
It does not.
It actually asks a lot more questions.
The introduction of the somewhat-alluded-to-before nail bat to the Steddie Conspiracy Forums causes absolute chaos. No one can agree on anything. It validates so many theories and creates dozens more especially when Steve lets it slip in the background of another live-stream that Jonathan actually made the bat and Steve just never gave it back.
Meanwhile, the only benefit to Steve’s particular brand of shitty parents is that he learned how to girlboss gaslight gatekeep from absolute pros. Anytime one of his students asks him about the nail bat, Steve acts like he has no idea what they’re talking about. He has literally never heard of such a thing, “Like the animal? Their fingernails?”
As for their agent.
Their reaction was heard across all the office cubicles in the basement of the building. Just a loud, disbelieving, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?”
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"Platonic with a capital P!"
Happy birthday to miz @scoopertroopers! 🎂🎉 (insp)
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EVERYONE who likes/reblogs this post will receive a unique picture of my cats when I get home from work
EDIT: I promise I will get to everyone, it’ll take a few days, but you WILL get to see these kitties!!!!
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