everyone’s all “marvel this” and “dc that” well I’m tired of it. from now on the only hero I want to hear about is the psychic scissor man

Apparently dating back to 2015, the almost 10 year old shitpost generator does show its age, but all the more it beautifully captures the tone and style of tumblr shitposts of the era. It's not dated, as much as it is a historical artefact.

(Hit it like) hit it like rom-pom-pom-pom (Get it hot) get it hot like Papa John (Make a bitch) make a bitch go on and on (It's a fem) it's a femininomenon!

Chappell Roan - Femininomenon

adhd will have you fighting for your life to do beloved hobbies that bring you nothing but joy

every time i start to feel cringe for being too deep in the hyperfixation i remember the intense depression i have waded through and have to remind myself that enjoyment is fleeting (so grab it with both hands), and life is for loving (so hold that love close), and if anyone thinks i’m cringe they must not be having a very good time (and i hope they can find a good time soon).

it’s monday i’m in the labyrinth

The wild thing about being obsessed with your own DnD campaign is that there's absolutely NO fandom content for it except the stuff that you make

Like, what do you mean only six other people in the entire world have heard of Dave the Ice Elemental whose job is Freezer at the Fantasy Starbucks?

the thing that's baffling to me is that she frequently writes about the hardships of being in the spotlight, which I understand, it's a common theme... but from what I can tell, she has done nothing but try to be famous her entire life? she clearly wants to be the most popular, famous musician in the world? it seems to me that she really doesn't know who she is or what to do if she's not ~*~Taylor Swift~*~ the superstar... which is why she's released another very long album only a year after her last one, despite nonstop touring. she's not a child, these are things she has decided to do with her life, and if it's making her "tortured", that's kind of her own fault.

taylor swift’s work wouldn’t be nearly as insufferable if she wasn’t constantly trying to present herself as some sort of tortured underdog. like, okay, she has endured hardships, and a lot of people, especially white men, are shitty towards her for purely misogynistic reasons. that sucks, i agree. but she’s never been an underdog before. she was born to well-off parents who did everything they could to start her music career when she was barely even a teenager, an opportunity that lots of people would kill for. now she’s extremely famous and wealthy, and everything she releases is destined to sell millions of copies and receive glowing reviews in nearly every publication. she is not an underdog, and i have trouble believing she’s particularly “tortured.” she’s not even an alcoholic, despite claiming to be one on the opening track of her new album! people like to defend her lyrics by saying she’s just playing a character, which i don’t believe for a second, but even if she was, i don’t think i want to listen to someone like swift play the character of a tortured underdog, not when there’s so many musicians out there who are actually tortured underdogs. it comes across as hollow. “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me,” sung by one of the wealthiest, most famous, most critically acclaimed musicians in the world, who was born to loving parents who personally helped her start her career, who once said she’d never been to therapy because she “just feels very sane.” if you’re going to play a character, maybe pick one who we’re not supposed to pity.

you ever see a patch of unmowed grass so good it makes you wanna

the shelter: this cat is very timid and quiet. she spends a lot of time hiding, and we have never heard her make any noise

the cat after being in my home for a few months: *meowing because I'm not paying attention to her* *meowing because she entered a room* *meowing because she ate the last of her food* *meowing because I came home from work* *purring*

go here and let me know what your short term top artists from spotify (within the last 4 weeks) are in the tags!

Kayfabe au?? 👀

*clears throat* At some point between the high republic era and the prequels era, the Jedi order realized they were flat broke. rent on coruscant had been steadily increasing as more and more galactic governmental organizations headquartered themselves there, and being an order of peacekeeping monks who spent their days mostly in quiet meditation didn't exactly bring in a ton of cash. so they decided to start holding their practice spars in a public amphitheater, and charging a few credits for admission. people outside of the order have long been fascinated by lightsabers and lightsaber fights, so what's the harm in showing off a bit? it's not like this will eventually lead to restructuring the entire order around flashy combat and stage personas and an organized fight schedule... right?

Obi-Wan Kenobi is one of the best fighters in the entire galaxy. his events always draw huge crowds and surging ticket prices. his compelling plotline ("killed" the heel who took his master out of the ring) is part of it, his dramatic (sensationalized) forbidden romance with a mandalorian duchess is part of it, and his dashing good looks are a substantial part of it. but still, Kenobi isn't happy. the new president of the Saber Combat League is also a senator who seems all too content to use the League as a distraction from the outbreak of war across the galaxy. shouldn't the Jedi be involved in this? (they aren't. but shouldn't they be?)

said senator, Palpatine, is also pushing them to their limits. more fights, more dangerous stunts, more real injuries. the plotline is getting more and more convoluted as the fighters who bring in the most credits have to face each other over and over again, for increasingly ridiculous reasons. he thinks he has fought his own padawan, Anakin Skywalker, about a hundred times now. (Anakin is one of few people with more star power than him - a past as a champion podracer, a chosen one origin story, and an open secret marriage to a queen-turned-senator will do that.) Popular heels are brought back from "the dead" - including his least favorite, Maul.

in addition, while the league has long been welcoming of reoccurring villains from outside the Jedi order, some of the people who have been set up in fights recently seem... off. they couldn't possibly be... sith, could they? no one has seen a sith in centuries. surely Maul, the man who wounded Qui-Gon and ruined his career in the ring for life, was lying about being a sith? surely Dooku, a man who left the order to pursue politics, is lying about being a sith? it's just promotion, right? He's skeptical of Palpatine's leadership (and how much profit he's making off the Jedi), and he especially doesn't like his burgeoning friendship with Anakin.

now because i'm a ventrobi shipper, the inciting incident is Asajj first appearing in the ring as his newest enemy - a heel. she was recruited from the slave gladiator arenas of rattatak and is desperate to not. go. back. but he doesn't know that, because she doesn't say much in the locker room before the fight. he just knows she's intense and vicious and hot. and their fight chemistry is so good, they end up slated to fight each other again and again. Anakin is acting like he's not jealous (he is, mostly because he ends up fighting unknown nobodies and he craves a challenge); Satine is upset because there are now rumors of an affair in the tabloids (they haven't been a real couple in over a decade); and Qui-gon is wary about this new woman's connections to Dooku. but Obi-Wan can't stop himself from leaning into their flirtatious banter, and pressing for more information about her.

at some point, Palpatine decides that the script calls for Ventress to be written out of the plot. in a moment of vulnerability before the fight where this is meant to happen, she breaks down and tells him about what it will mean for her, and Obi-Wan realizes that to save her, he might have to go against Palpatine, and maybe break kayfabe in the process. they improvise, and in the big moment when he's supposed to realize she can't be saved and run her through, he instead says he's realized he's in love with her, and they share a big dramatic kiss. the crowd goes insane. Ventress goes from a decently popular fighter to the hottest ticket in town, even when she's fighting other people. anakin is furious, not only because palpatine is his new best friend, but also because no one upstages him like that. Qui-gon is... pleasantly confused, but proud - whatever happens from here, it's going to be messy, but if anyone can right this league, it's his stubborn former padawan.

the best part about this insane unhinged au is you can ship whatever you want in it. Cody is Obi-Wan's manager, Padme is a guest of honor at every fight, any Jedi or villain you like can be in the ring. it RULES and i have so much fun with it. it is not written anywhere (except here)

count dooku after indulging in his daily milano cookie

^^^ larian outright said it was because they liked the team they worked with for bg3 and that entire team was laid off. so why should they work with hasbro again? if a stunning overperforming success makes them think more executive involvement is what's needed?

Incredible power move to make one of the most beloved crpgs ever made using a modified dnd 5e system, make a ton of money and shit on most AAA game studios in the process, then say “cool. Anyway fuck dnd 5e and wizzards of the coast. We’re doing our own thing now.”

y'know the phrase "kill the cop in your head"? the premise here is more, "sit the cop in your head down and gently persuade them that it's okay to turn in their gun and badge and find a new job". your judgemental inner voice isn't a thing you need to shut down or ignore, it's a part of you that means well but has learned some harmful, incorrect strategies for protecting you. there are no bad parts! just ones that need to relearn. absolutely fascinating approach

I've been reading No Bad Parts, which is about internal family systems therapy, and immediately off the bat it is giving me better mental health advice than any other book, article, or healthcare worker ever has. highly recommend, especially if you currently or in the past dealt with self harm or overwhelming emotions

I've been reading No Bad Parts, which is about internal family systems therapy, and immediately off the bat it is giving me better mental health advice than any other book, article, or healthcare worker ever has. highly recommend, especially if you currently or in the past dealt with self harm or overwhelming emotions