akystaracer22
Akystaracer22's shitposting extravaganza
he/him primarily pronouns. This space is LGBTQIA+ friendly (especially the T). I’m in a lot of fandoms rn but I guess I’m now a Hazbin Hotel fan.
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My favorite pirate joke is “why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at c” not because it’s THAT funny but because it’s a relatively simple joke that nobody ive told it to has ever correctly guessed the punchline for because they all think it’s gonna be a joke about arrrr
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sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis
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Daily reminder that we do not actually live in a dystopian movie put the apocalypse down and back away slowly. You know when your cleaning a room and you pull everything out of it's draws to sort through it and you're like "what the fuck have I done I'm never going to be able to tidy all of this" I think that's the stage we're at in the world. Thanks to social media we've pulled out all the messed up shit from the cupboards of the world, it was always there but now we can see it and we're going to have to sort it all out we made this mess and we can fix it. Falling to the floor sobbing will not clean a crusty room. A group of people working systematically (preferably with music in the background) will.
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Mythbusters have 3 categories of myths
the general public doesnt know how physics works
the general public doesnt know how lying works
oh crap this ones real
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“the arts and sciences are completely separate fields that should be pitted against each other” the overlap of the arts and sciences make up our entire perceivable reality they r fucking on the couch
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Congratulations on your kitten!
A few (a lot) bits of advice from someone who raised 4 kittens:
Watch your step. It's very easy to accidentally squish them. My kitten used to hide in a pillowcase and she was so small that you wouldn't even notice. Pat down everything before you sit.
Kittens are small enough to hide in EVERYTHING. I thought two of mine were lost. They were just sleeping under a closet.
Kittens usually will try to escape the room as soon as possible. Be careful when opening doors so they don't get out.
Cats will meow a lot to get your attention so you'll open the door.
Don't run around them. They get scared.
Cats will try their best to get food. They will break dishes to get anything with dairy (they push them off the counter). They can open pizza boxes, take off covers. I wish I was joking. They also love to claw open flour bags and dump flour everywhere. Keep your food somewhere they can't open.
Cats love plants. Keep them out of reach or your cat will eat them.
Cats will eat everything. I mean everything. Do not leave food out.
Do not let the kitten get somewhere high. They can get up. But getting down is another story. (usually this is rectified once the cat gets older).
There is a very high chance the cat will sleep on you if you go to sleep.
Cats CAN open doors. Kittens can't, but older cats can.
Cats think strings are toys. Which means if you wear those pants with strings at the waist to tighten them they will attack you
Cats like to eat hair for some reason.
They will try to drink out of the toilet.
Some cats like to knead you. It's painful bc they use claws. Wear thick pants if they're on you.
It is VERY hard to pick up a sleeping kitten when they're on you. Even if you need to go somewhere.
Thank you!! :D
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Charlie's Angels
Did it cuz I need a new wallpaper lol
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Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).
When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".
When the boat is still being built, your say "it".
When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".
When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".
When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.
If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").
If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")
If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").
If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.
If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.
I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.
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Those people who constantly reblog your stuff but you never really talk:
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my fave greek history story to tell is that of agnodice. like she noticed that women were dying a lot during childbirth so she went to egypt to study medicine in alexandria and was really fucking good but b/c it was illegal for women to be doctors in athens she had to pretend to be a man. and then the other doctors noticed that she was 10x better than them and accused her of seducing and sleeping with the women patients. like they brought her to court for this. and she just looked at them and these charges and stripped in front of everyone like “yeah. im not fucking your wives” and then they got so mad that a woman was better at their jobs then them that they tried to execute her but all her patients came to court and were like “are you fucking serious? she is the reason you have living children and a wife.” so they were shamed into changing the law and that is how women were given the right to practice medicine in athens
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me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit
mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
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