✖

✖

© Life Today Magazine

cr | uuuuubeen,jae.ble 

VOGUE Korea May 2015

I can't seem to forgive myself

It's 1AM.

Every since you left me an hour ago, so aim says, I have been wanting you to come back to me. It feels like longer than just a hour, honestly. I enjoyed us today, what were doing, just chatting. It felt a little off at first. I felt like talk wasn’t really something you we up for but after a while it seemed to get better. We were joking around with each other.  

I’ll admit, I was in a bit of a mood at one point but you quickly pulled me out of it. When it comes to you, it doesn’t take much to get me in a better mood. You could say the simplest thing and i’d end up smiling and forgetting about why I was even upset in the first place. I love that you have that power. It’s like you are my hero of feelings. When I am down you come in, without even know about my feelings, you manage to make them disappear.

It’s no wonder you are my King. The ruler of my heart. Managing everything in your life and dealing with a weird woman like myself. I know I say this like six million times but you are truly amazing. A very beautiful human being with a kind soul, patient mind (even though you aren’t the patient type) and a heart like nobody else. I am beyond glad that I met you. There is a reason we did met and that was because I was meant to have you in my life. It was meant to happen so I could realize that I not all guys are the same. There are indeed good ones out there that will treat me well. None of them will treat me like you have, like a queen.

Not every queen is perfect and as your queen, i’ve made that clear with my many mistakes. But without you by my side to point them out, I wouldn’t have been able to learn from them like I have. I wouldn’t have been able to work on fixing things for myself and us. I wouldn’t have been able to realize that sometimes it’s not my place to wait. Sometimes I need to fight for what and who I believe in. And I may be weak but I will fight until I can’t anymore.

Now I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me for being a really big brat. Bigger than the one you actually do love. Or for all the thing I have done/said and those that I haven’t. And I don’t know if you’ll ever trust me like before. I don’t know how you truly feel about me right now. But that will not stop me from working hard to get to the point where you are okay with holding me in your arms. Or where you feel okay with your lips being pressed against my own. I will fix all the piece of your heart that i may have hurt in the past. I will show you on a daily how much you mean to me. How much I love you and how I will always choose only you.

This was suppose to be a message about how much I missed you in the past hour and look were I ended up… I am an rambling mess. I don’t know how or why you put up with this but I thank you for. I will stop now but I want you to know, if it wasn’t clear in this book I wrote, I love you.

All things truly wicked start from innocence.

Earnest Hemingway (via lastisle)

Debates whether or not to post these cute ass messages I missed so much…

Don’t be so vain to think that you ruined me, that you wrecked me, destroyed me. I am the only one who has the power to do that. I loved you, and I ruined myself, I wrecked myself, I destroyed myself. And I will keep doing so for as long as I am breathing.

Amanda Helm - The Day I Learned That I was Broken (via tikerion)

So how've you been? /pokes/

Not gonna lie, kinda wary of you as of right now. Didn't exactly leave off on great terms.