Life Elevated

Sorry I couldn’t be there for the meeting or write a post entry yesterday (lost my phone to the darkness- BUT FOUND IT ON THE WAY BACK!!)

I had a pretty full AND wonderous weekend of hiking with my amiga Cecile. Both hiking and spending time with cecile are good for the soul- so it was a double combo!!!

Honestly, I think there was so much value in our trip- from the conversation to the experience, to the peace of mind that comes from being immersed in nature.

I love nature for that reason- through being in it, your internal world shifts. I think maybe it’s because its the closest thing we have to the original ideal, in the sense that nature has not been disconnected from God the same way human beings have. And when you are surrounded by nature, you cannot help but desire to rise to it’s level of purity and beauty. There is no space for superficial thoughts- or at least not for long. I find the longer we spend in nature the clearer our minds grow, the calmer our hearts become. You may enter the woods tangled, but come out sorted. You are challenged by the cold and the terrain- but somehow you don’t wish it to be any other way. Because nature maintains it’s integrity, it allows you to see where you are. 

TP speaks about nature consistently, especially when making analogies. But something I admire about TP is that they were like nature- in the sense that when you find yourself in their presence of them/their word, your heart can’t help but be moved. Because TP maintain their integrity, and it allows me to see where my heart is. I feel very blessed to have their example in my life.  

The process of obtaining freedom

I'm sorry I haven't posted for Thursday or last night- My time management has been out whack for the passed 2 days, and to be honest- I have been feel a little challenged by this condition, I didn't want to write something just for the sake of making an entry. But yesterday was full of good juice and wanted to write about it (so this is my belated Friday post :)) As many touched on, luke spoke at roots and it was awesome!(let's fit it L00K!) Something I left thinking a lot about is how I want to grow into someone who is worthy of their freedom. That freedom is worth the most when it's upheld to its fullest potential . Another thought was that because freedom is so powerful it is often facilitated with fear/force. As if it's a privilege one can be stripped of. No one was ever meant to be stripped of their freedom, similarly we were never meant to have such a distorted understanding of it. I think that's why the reality grows so sticky. The DP speaks about how true Freedom cannot be outside principle, responsibility and accomplishment. And how these things are intrinsically connected amongst each other. I wonder how we can change the secular definitions of this word to be more on this train. even maybe our own false concepts of this word will be confronted. a big issue is that society is chasing something it has not been able to fully and properly define. And when we chase things which do not abide by the principle/laws of life- fulfillment (or true freedom) will be far harder to find.

Friendship

Friendship is such a beautiful thing, I remember someone saying once that it is one of the only voluntary bonds we create . I'm currently on route to Chicago with Natalia as she's moving across the country. And honestly, it feels so surreal. It's been a long and great journey of friendship indeed. Although our belief systems and opinions have grown to be quite different , I never felt our love and support for each other did. I love this girl so much- and I'm so proud of what she's doing with her life. When I reflect about our friendship, the thing which comes to mind is back when I was on DONE , and Julius the director, would always say that the most important thing is that we learn to love each other . I feel this is what TP always exemplified as well. They really loved people- they always saw people for their heart, potential and value . And treated them as such- I think that's a huge part as to how they moved so many people . I want to learn to see and love people like that. Beyond differences. Anyway It's late - so sorry my minds a bit fried ! But love y'all- and thank you for being such loving people !

Original Mind Time

I was reading the CSG, and this quote stuck out to me:

"Although I have a destiny, where is my body trying to go? Where is my mind trying to go? Toward what is my life being oriented? Where is my heart trying to go? My wishes, hopes, and ideals -- where are they trying to go? Even if we cannot answer these questions, we must still follow the path to our destiny.”

Something I have always valued about our upbringing was being taught and encouraged that so much of what we need is already within us, in our original minds. And it is more a matter of how we cultivate and grow that inner conscience to become the head honcho- out into the front line of our character and actions. I liked this passage because I think sometimes I can get overwhelmed or lost in the business of life- and these couple questions, when asked back to back, helped clear some of the brain fog up. It helped me to kind of take note of where I was at. I think I am still trying to understand and discover my answers to these questions, but beyond answering that, I tried to ask myself, “and what am I doing about it?”. 

I’m trying to find a way that I can live my life center upon the internal, where my original mind and God are the subject. How to incorporate this naturally and consistently in my mindset. How to respond to those aspects as the priority, and not the secondary, despite the changing environments. Towards what are our lives being oriented? In our ideal and in our reality? And then how to better navigate between the two.

No Coincidences

Tonight- I got a call from the one and only CHAAAADD JOHNSON!

He had asked me over the weekend if there was a time we could call, without much explanation, which I thought was random but of course why not!

so tonight he called me and asked me 2 questions; what makes me want to invest in this faith and who is True Father to me.

COINCIDENCE?? I think not. I legit was thinking to myself, “GG, God- you really have a way with timing lol.”

I really enjoyed the conversation, and honestly, it gave me a lot to digest and reflect upon. And I’m not sure if I’ll even be able to express it well in this post.

BUT, one thing we got talking about was hope and action. About how in today’s society it can be so hard to hold onto hope/ the possibility of an ideal. Because of the lack of integrity, because of the lack of example, and because of the presence of evil. However, if there was ever a time to have hope- it may be more crucial now than ever before. If we dissolve or compromise what we’re striving for, what will become of the future? Furthermore, how are they to have hope? I’m not sure. But perhaps the best way to keep hope alive is to embody it in our actions. To have hope in goodness, through being good, to build hope in virtue, by being virtuous etc.

When I reflect about TP, and my life, I am grateful they have given us an insight as to what God had hoped for. And i want to work hard in my life to understand the depth of that hope and what TP were trying to bring. Because in the end maybe hope and purpose are intrinsically connected. And that the greater my hope is, the clearer my purpose can become as to how our lives can be used in God’s plan.

Let it Go(d).

Today was exhausting, not gonna lie. I had an early start to my morning and it was like go mode until I got home fell asleep on my desk lol. 

Sunday service was really enjoyable to me, we got to serenade the congregation via disney enchantment- which may have been awkward but I feel we held our own and I felt so grateful everyone just went for it- even the boys supported us as we sang let it go. LOL.

Dan shared a bit of HDH at the start of the sermon and it spoke about how you cannot be a father until you’ve been a child, you can’t be a leader until you’ve been a disciple. in other words, until you’ve placed your heart into the perspective and position of another person, you won’t be able to fulfill that relationship to it’s potential, or better yet even your own. It got me thinking about relationships- with God and with others, and how God’s heart approaches each relationship.

I feel like God always starts in humility, connects through honesty and loves through consistency. I know I am not there yet in my character. I still struggle at times to connect and understand all that we are meant to be for one another.But i feel like the greatest tool God gave us was eachother. And I want to be able to have this kind of heart towards people, specifically towards our kids at the WS.

An unexpected friend.

I met up with Natalia at a Starbucks so a studying date which we both knew wasn’t really going to happen.

I love Natalia- and I am ever grateful for our friendship. It has a sort of awesomely harmonious dynamic. 

ANYHOW we were just drinking our drinks, sharing and conversing with each other as we do, and the guy sitting behind Natalia, would periodically turn around and smile, we noticed it and kinda laughed about it and continued talking. As the hours passed the Starbucks started to grow more and more empty, and eventually this guy, us, and few others were the only ones left in the space. 

The guy eventually came up to us, he was a really cool, relaxed 35 year old.   He started talking to us about karate and a technique he was personally studying (lol, random). After talking about self defense and martial arts for a while, he apologized and said he’d let us get back to what we were doing. But before he went back to his seat, I had to ask why he kept turning around and reacting to our conversation earlier on. 

We all start laughing and he was like “ah dang yall noticed that, honestly I wasn’t creeping, I was just so intrigued by the conversation. You guys have such a cool dynamic together and I just wanted to be talking on the level yall were talking on.” Something like that, he said the energy of our friendship was refreshing .

We continued talking all together for the next 2 hours, about politics, traveling, society and the human condition. It was most enjoyable and fascinating. And unexpectedly resonating. 

Generally, its hard for me to be open to these sorts of conversations with strangers- particularly men, because I guess we’ve been trained to identify intentions and agendas. Like who is this guy? Why is he speaking with us? Of course being aware is important, but something I think I tend to judge  But early on in the conversation I had a strong feeling that this guy is genuine and we don’t need to worry. 

I’m still processing all the things we talked and shared about, but the one thing I found pretty awesome was just the depth and openness the conversation had. Something we talked about was how each person has an unique genius about them: a particular area or realm where they are excel. And how the best people are the ones who can draw that original genius out of people. 

I really enjoyed that conversation we all had, and I left with 2 thoughts:

There is so much in each person, and in order to help the world, we need to believe in it, and not shy aware or prejudge an opportunity to learn something from someone new.

Also that I want to work on being someone who can draw out other’s unique genius.  

Being Heard.

Today was a packed day ! GSN was very nice and funny. Felt like YG was the thing I needed this week. And I was so glad it could happen. 

When I got home I got into a long discussion with my Dad about a few topics which we had opposing views on. Something I am always learning from my dad is how to listen. My dad is a great listener. He listens with humility and always makes me feel my opinions are valued. Especially when we are disagreeing. 

Jonathan Sacks shares an interesting insight on the Jewish faith;

“ The verb used by the Torah in place of “to obey” is sh-m-a. This is of the highest possible significance. It means that blind obedience is not a virtue in Judaism. God wants us to understand the laws He has commanded us. He wants us to reflect on why this law, not that. He wants us to listen, to reflect, to seek to understand, to internalise and to respond. He wants us to become a listening people.”

I really like this explanation, that God’s goal is not that we obey- but that we internalize his way through truly hearing him out.  I feel like that’s how my parents run our home- I never was told to obey with a “ because I said so.” My parents always made the effort to explain their reasoning, and they would trust in out ability to listen to the heart they had behind it.They also would take the time to listen to us. 

When I think about it, listening is harder, but deeper. Someone who listens can piece together what the next steps are, some one who obeys waits to be told. Whether its my relationship with God or people, I want to always be sure to listen well, so that they will feel sincerely heard, and that I can genuinely understand. 

Remember Your Purpose

Today was a good day, going off what Cecile said- having God on the mind really does shift your daily filter.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m taking a basketball class this semester. And I am by no means a baller (lol, seriously, that sport is not in my fundamental motor patterns). As the semester winds down, we’ve enter the final stages of skill assessment- TOURNAMENT MODE DUNDUNDUN.  And honestly, I’m really not the best player out there, but I truly believe I have the most fun. I think I am generally a pretty free person, but in the beginning of that class, I felt much more reserved and just kept to my friends. But now I dish out high fives like holy wine (lol terrible analogy, sorry.)

I was reflecting on why this is, and I realized how much freedom a life with God comes with. It got me thinking about how often God can feel free to live? It just hit me that I want to be a free channel for God to experience his world. Even if its as simple as while I’m playing basketball. When God is on my heart, so much of the self concern and insecurities seem to just fade away. You need not feel hesitant or restricted, because if God’s having a good time, then its worth while. Having God helps me see everything through a much wider lens. I am just realizing more and more that being with God is being in peace. 

After basketball I head straight to work, and today we had a departments meeting on “Remembering Your Purpose”, it was geared toward how to implement your go-green passions in your day to day life.  One guy shared about how he brings his own fork and spoon where ever he goes so he doesn’t need to waste plastic single use utensils. He said his reason, “is not about changing everyone off plastic, but giving them something to rethink.” 

This line kind of stuck with me  God brings so much to our lives, yet there are still so many people without Him.  How beautiful it would be if our actions can help the world rethink God.   

Friends of Faith

Today was a fairly full day! 

I came home and was just feeling very filled with gratitude.  Probably because I was coming off a endorphin and happiness high from gymming and hanging with Michelle.

Michelle is a great human, I think she makes God happy. We got to catch up for tonight after our normal tradition of working out and then getting yummy kombucha and chatting :: A quality I really value in Michelle is her empathy and understanding, man Shell, you’re a great person. I always leave our hangouts feeling refreshed and loved.

Overall, I just ended the day reflecting on how grateful I am to have so many beautiful friends of faith in my life. I sometimes forget how uncommon that sort of thing is to come by. I was thinking about how painful it must be for God to watch people feel alone, and how much joy he probably gets when we can see us all bind together. When I think about how God is actively working in this world, I can see it so clearly in the kinds of people my friends are, and their impact on the people around them. 

Honestly, everyone on this staff team are such exceptional people, who are striving to be consistently better. Call me cheesy, but I just feel so lucky to know so many genuinely beautiful people.

Between Peace and Chaos

This evening I went to go out with a good friend of mine, Chloe, from work, to grab some (you guessed it)...coffee!

Chloe is some one who I really love and value having in my life, shes a devote Catholic and an awesome person. And although we don’t get together so often, each time we do I feel we can learn and gain from each other. Tonight, however, I was feeling really overwhelmed with various assignments and responsibilities I have coming up this week, and in short did not feel like I was the best energy or person to be around. But we made the date and I was committed to that.

She was sharing about a podcast she was listening to regarding peace and chaos. It spoke about how in life, what matters most is where we place our peace and where we place our chaos. For example, when the environment and schedule surrounding your day to day is chaotic and busy, but internally you are at peace- then these things are manageable. Conversely, if things seem to be peaceful and managed externally, but you are internally unsound, then nothing will feel totally right. 

I feel like recently I’ve been a bit chaotic in both areas, and as I was listening to Chloe I really felt God was speaking through her to me.  God wants us to be fulfilled in life, not too busy for it. You can do anything, but you can’t do everything. And the question is not if you can quantitatively accomplish everything in your schedule, but rather if you can qualitatively. 

I still struggle to find this balance between peace and chaos, but after meeting with Chloe I felt like it was God saying not to judge yourself based on quality, but rather do something about your quantity ( in other words, rather burning yourself out trying to keep up with everything, set your self up so you can succeed.) 

Thanks for reading :) sorry its a bit long.

My internal morning coffee

Happy Monday!  As you all know, I love coffee, and am more than likely addicted lol.

BUT- this morning, I was super tired and woke up late, and had to rush out the house without my morning elixir . But I did have Hannah as a shotgun rider, which is even better.

Honestly, I feel like I could make a God post about Hannah every day this week if I wanted. Hannah is a very special person in my life, for me, her presence is therapeutic. Probably because she is a high key angel of patience and love LOL.

 Anyhow, each Monday we get to start the week together driving to school in the early morning for an hour, and it really helps me get ready for the day. Hannah and I will talk about a multitude of things during the ride which almost feels like some sort of HDH. This morning we were talking about trusting God and vulnerability. And even though I was so tired and unmotivated leaving the house, by the time I was leaving the car I felt reflective and grateful. It’s amazing what kinda of impact the conversation of higher things, or the company of a kindred soul can do. I feel so thankful to be so free in our relationship, and I feel that she has always been a strong anchor for me when it comes to striving for God’s perspectives and heart. 

Support system.

So because today we were talking about support systems, I thought i’d share about my work environment. I always felt very blessed to be in our MD community and felt great support and love through it. I guess we touched on it how often times its not the same when it comes to environments outside of the church. However, I can honestly say I feel very comfortable with each of my managers and coworkers. MOM’S is a good company, one of our motto’s is “find your gratitude.” I believe each team member really embodies that attitude, and it’s that same spirit that has made our work place like a mini family. I laugh, hug and high five people constantly while I’m at work. And although my hours are whack and it can get overwhelming, I am really grateful to have such authentic connections there. 

As a final note for the condition, thank you all so much for sharing. Reading these has really been refreshing and enjoyable for me. Y’all are such great people, with brilliant minds and its awesome lol.

Would-a,could-a,should-a.

Today I went on a nature walk in the Patuxent Nature Center with Dan Drost and Cecile. On the drive over, Dan was telling me about this inspirational speaker names Tony Robbins. Generally, I’m not the biggest fan of inspirational speaking, because most of the time I find them to be overly sappy and simplified. But that’s probably a bad attitude.  

HOWEVER! I was pretty intrigued by Mr.Tony, I found him pretty authentic and provoking. One thing he was talking about was that often times the reason we’re not satisfied with the way life is going is because we have far too many ‘shoulds’ and not nearly enough ‘musts’. Meaning so often we talk about I should do this, I should do that- “I should call that friend.”, “I should change my health habits” etc. But the problem with should’s is they are only accomplished when it is convenient. And convenience doesn’t build consistency.

Must’s, on the other hand, are what are the priority. And when I thought about it, and was honest, I realized a lot of my 'must's' lie in external things; I must work, I must go to school etc. Sure this can give you external consistency and security- but it will dry out your internally.

“A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.” – Tony Robbins  

Maybe it was what I needed to hear, but it was definitely a big reminder for me that my priorities need to lie in higher things, and that needs to be backed up by actions- not just ‘shoulds’.

My not so little brothers.

My life has been significantly impacted ever since i became an older sister to my 2 charismatic, and unique younger brothers. Gaining little brothers was something I could have never fathomed but it has given me such joy. But I often worry I am not enough for them. I could do a better job in making more time for them. I worry if I'm even able to understand their hearts and feelings. It's crazy because now a days I'll just look at them and wonder where the time went. To me my brothers have hearts of gold. And it pushes me to be better , more attentive and reliable. I am so proud of them and who they are becoming. Bottom line is that they are really 2 people I care deeply for and want to be better for. They are people who deserve the urgency in my life. Anyway. Just wanted to write down and share because I'm really looking forward to doing this workshop with them.

Who we are

Today was a good day. I was feeling pretty grateful all day, especially since I was able to spend it with people I love. 

We have a small DP study group that meets on weekly to read and explore the DP.

The whole night was really mentally and emotionally stimulating for me. With lots of cool discussion and perspectives. One of the things that I continued to think about on my drive home was about daring to challenge the norm. When I think about the DP, that’s really what it was- a challenge to what religion knew and was comfortable with. And through embracing that challenge, I believe people could grow a deeper understanding of God, the world, and its purpose. 

I think humans have a unique resonance to truth. And I feel a lot of True Fathers legacy was born through impacting the way people think. It wasn't about changing people, but awakening what was already within. I'm starting to think that that's what this sort of impact is all about; when we are able to move someone's innermost spirit. And when I think of it that way, it becomes clear that the power and potential of intentional impact is priceless. 

👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

Every week, on Wednesday, my dad and I go out and do something together. Tonight we decided to go out for dinner, which is something we never do in my family. My dad and I get along pretty well, but to be honest it’s not always so easy to connect. Both of us are more reserved and it’s not always easy to open up to each other. Anyway, tonight as we were eating and talking, i was reflecting on how similar we really are, how a lot of who I am has been influenced by who my dad is and how he was raised. I think so often when it comes to the idea of leaving a legacy, I tend to think about it in terms of myself. How will I be remembered or what will I leave behind? In reality however, a legacy extends far beyond the individual. It’s something that is almost alive, something that can be passed down and constantly added to or improved upon. It’s not always about producing a finished product, but about investing into the future. I hope that my efforts will add to the legacy created by my parents and all those that came before them.