“They burned the bridge, then ask why I don’t visit.”

— Ugo Eze

Did you guys ever see the car that got into an accident with a truck carrying hagfish

Can you even imagine being this person. Imagine you call your insurance and tell them you got in an accident. They ask what happened and you have to tell them your car got fucking hagfished

pro tip

ur friends don't hate you

nobody is secretly mad at you

you have anxiety and that's ok you are loved

[teen sister in a 90’s movie voice] my pronouns are what/ever/major/loser now get out of my room

HEY.

are you scrolling [tumblr] instead of sleeping?

idiot. clown. I cast sleepy spell on you. fuck you. sweet dreams ily

“I would choose five minutes with you over a lifetime with anyone else.”

— Beau Taplin

Sushi Bedroom by Daisuke (2023)

If u want to write a story about a character that's just you but hotter with a dark twisted backstory and magical powers and a pet falcon or something, I think u should just go ahead and do that. Who's gonna stop you? The government?? Fuck the police.

im just curious about what is and isnt a common favorite color

Introducing the Jack of Clubs, the genderfluid pride knight! The Pride Knights deck will be available for preorder this June! (2023) ⚔️🌈

cats will be like oh you're walking somewhere? no WE'RE walking somewhere. and i will get there first. where is 'there' btw

Just so we're all on the same page with the writer's strike.

If during the strike, it's announced about AI generated shows. We are not watching them. Not even out of curiosity. Let them fail every AI generated show they try make.

The human voice can not be replaced by AI. Don't let them try.

A guest just came by my front desk and said “it’s my husband’s birthday today, make sure you say happy birthday when he comes down!” and I love it so much it reminds me of that post that’s like “if I was dating just some guy I would hype him up so much I would walk in and say here comes the most specialist boy make sure you clap and cheer when he comes in or I’ll blow this whole building up” you know that post, but it literally just happened to me in real life.

I know we are all like "people in caveman times would drill holes in their head to relieve headaches" andwe go oh that's so stupid that's so dumb but like. then I get a headache and I'm like.ooooh I get it I get it. Grug prepare the drill.

hey kids following me seriously don’t smoke…i know the commercials are fucking annoying but that doesn’t make it worth it and quitting is hard, i haven’t had a cig in like six months and i still get bad cravings and think about smoking every other day