adestayskz - Tumblr blog

adestayskz · 24 days

Note

This has been in my mind all day but the thought of skz ninth member saying she could identify others with her eyes closed leaving the boys curious if she could guess who's fucking her with a blindfold, if she gets it correct she can cum

this was such an incredible ask!!!!!!!! literally one of my favourites ever. and i just cant explain how fun this was to write so thank youuu!!!!!😍

Warnings: 18+mdni!! ot8 unprotected sex, saliva, sensory play(blindfold), hair pulling, spanking, nicknames, cumshots, banter, mention of voyeurism, multiple positions, size kink(not body size;only cock size), mention of breeding, sensory play (blindfold)

wc: 3.7k

~~~~~~

"Go on then," Seungmin says, gesturing to the empty couch situated perfectly in the middle of the room.

"This is going to be too easy. Being around you guys all the time, I know all your tells," you say, plopping down on the dorm's shared couch.

Here are the rules:

No members talking

No members moaning

No kissing

Once you guess it right, they pull out

Rewards if you win:

All members get to finish on you

You get to cum with their help

You're in the 3racha dorm surrounded by your 8 other members whose eyes are glistening from curiosity at what's about to unfold. You'd made a bet, of course you'd made a bet, that you would be able to identify which member was fucking you, no exceptions. They, of course, denied that was possible. So, here you are lying half naked, waiting to prove them all wrong.

Chan steps to you, kneeling down beside the couch, fingertips hanging off the side. His eyes are searching yours for any glimmer of hesitancy - any second thoughts. There of course was none. The slow burn of his stare makes a shiver run over you and you can see the wheels turning in his mind, you just wish you could pin down those exact thoughts.

"Felix? Blindfold." Chan raises his hand behind him, anticipating the cloth but not taking his heated eyes off of you.

You smile inwardly, knowing you're sure that you've gotten yourself into the best situation you could have. They're all hot, gorgeous even, men in their 20's ready to fuck you dumb over a bet. Their sex drives high, they're ready to dump load after load and that thought does not leave your cunt dry to say the least.

You've heard and seen all these men make themselves cum over and over again. The walls aren't that thick. But whether they know that is another story.

Now you're going to be getting a taste of what it's like to be on the other side of those walls. You can't help the elation that slides up your throat. These are your other 8 members. You've seen each other at your lowest and your highest, and now you wonder how this bet may play out in the group dynamics.

Who knows, it might just be the best thing you all could have done together...

Felix gives the black fabric to a patiently waiting Chan.

Changbin's giggle echoes through the room as you wink at him. He's just too cute.

"Bin, I'm cumming for you first." You smirk as you succumb to the darkness that is the blindfold taking away your vision. Blocking your most vital sense.

Changbin huffs out a clearly sexually frustrated sigh as he runs his hand through his hair. You hadn't even begun to think how even just the idea of this happening might have the members' imaginations running.

"Not gonna know which one of us is first though, angel," Hyunjin responds with a soft tease in his tone, close enough for you to hear the little whisper in his breath.

"Angel? Oh, careful Hyune...After that nickname paired with your cock, I might just fall in love."

"Everyone shut up this is taking forever," Seungmin says deadpan, flipping off the light. He was always impatient.

"You idiot she's blindfolded, we don't need them all off" Lee Know says, "she can't see anything anyway."

"You do it then," Seungmin bites back at Lee Know playfully.

"Boys, boys, let's all just simmer down hm? Keep this a zen fucking zone."

Han gets up, increasing the light in the room with the dimmer switch. Hannie - ever so attentive.

The room is silent, members grinding their teeth, stretching their fingers, waiting for your cue, presumably.

"We just gonna sit here chatting boys? Or is someone gonna stick their cock into me? I'm ready to win a bet."

The room bustles, voices whispering and winding to a halt as the first contestant climbs over you.

The couch shifts under you like a ship listing in the deep ocean.

Your back is supported on the couch, blindfold secured around your head, panties still on but already showing a thick wet spot.

A chill of self-consciousness floods you just for a second before it's replaced by the confidence of having your 8 members focused fully on you as they wait to fuck you in turns.

The first mystery man's hands slide the fabric down your legs, exposing your cunt to all 8 of your members. You feel so bare, so vulnerable, but so goddamn powerful. You can almost hear their hard swallows as all their eyes are glued on you, their cocks tripling in size in anticipation.

"Someone put it in," you say, tapping your fingers on your chin like you're bored.

Suddenly you're breached, their length sliding in effortlessly into your wet cunt. Your walls immediately shiver around the foreign feeling, clamping down. They're so deep it feels like a bubble might just pop deep inside your belly. The member's hips stop halfway as a gasp rips from your chest, an electricity running to your fingertips.

You stammer, "b-big," as their hands caress you, rubbing gentle circles over your skin, complimenting the deep, slow strokes. Their hands are large, fingers thin but sculpted so beautifully. He slides the rest of the way in, saliva dripping out of his mouth onto your tits. The warm liquid splashes onto your peaked nipples as their head dips down just to swirl it in circles with their tongue.

"H-Hyune!" you yelp mid-moan, knowing there's no way in hell that's not him.

"Fuck how?" Hyun says, stopping his movements and reluctantly pulling out.

You grasp your tummy as the removal feels so sudden, leaving you empty once more.

"You and your oral fixation baby, you're a deliciously messy, messy fuck," you say pinching your nipples, the wetness still stimulating you.

It's silent again as he climbs off the couch and another member replaces him.

You feel your cunt clench and flutter as you wait to be filled again.

The next mystery member teases his thick satiny tip in and out of you, inching himself in and then pulling out. The stretch is even bigger than Hyune, narrowing down your options to just a few.

"S-so p-patient," you exhale, pondering a few members that could bare minimum fit the category of patient.

He sinks in, pressing his chest firmly onto yours, his shirt blocking skin to skin contact. Your back arches as you adjust to the size of him as he bottoms out.

"F-fuck" falls out of your mouth as his hips pull back just to jolt forward again.

"Mmm, n-needs to feel close to who he's fucking," you pant, trying your best to focus on the task at hand.

He hits your spot immediately, his thrusts gentle but deep.

"Channie baby," you say in confidence. "F-feel you pushing into my c-cervix, can't not think of b-breeding can you?"

With a huffed laugh, he pulls out, leaving you empty and aching once more.

"Yep," he says, nodding his head and swiping his forehead in defeat. He starts to speak, likely wondering how you know he thinks of breeding all the time, but he stops his train of thought.

Just then you visibly shiver on the couch, thinking of all the times Chan has thought of breeding you. Sneaking into your room at night, just to fill you with his cum.

"Fuck," you hear a distant voice mumble in response to your body writhing.

The next member handles your frame differently, a little faster, planting you flat on your stomach.

He climbs over you, not wasting any time before bullying his cock into you. He's placed your legs close together, so when he slides in it feels like your cunt expands ten-fold, pressure building like it's your first time.

You notice he's a little thinner than the other two, the new angle puzzling you as to who it could be. You feel him pull out and plunge back in, as you wait for his tell.

You were puzzled for another minute, little moans running out of your mouth. Confusion subsides once his fingers grab your waist, peppering kisses over your hot skin wrapping around your waist. He's not so much thrusting anymore as rutting into you, his breath hot on your neck. He's needy, borderline insatiable. He's fast with his rutting, like he's speeding to get to the finish line.

Then it hits you.

"Jeongin," floats out of your mouth gently as the rhythm of his hips seems to have hypnotized you.

His pelvis continues pressing into you desperately as your ass cushions his every rut, a loud moan now breaking out from his throat in agreement.

"N-needy, just as I thought, still fucking me even after it's over, you say, chuckling.

You hear him puff out air, hands squeezing your skin trying to convince himself to pull out. Finally, he musters up the strength to slide out of you and off the couch.

"Fuck she's tight, how'd you guys stop?" he asks, panting.

"Number 4 here we go, my cunt needs more." You're feeling needy yourself, but you'd never admit it.

This member wants you leaning over the couch, ass in the air, your elbows just resting on the back of the couch, barely stable.

A loud smack lands on your ass, jolting you forward. You hiss from the sting, the deliciously painful bliss of it just as he nestles his silky tip into your gooey cunt.

"Lee Know," you get out before you even feel him fully penetrate you. It was too easy.

He pauses his movements as Chan's voice sounds.

"Are you sure?" Chan asks, trying to get into your head.

"Y-yes," you say right as the 4th member slides into you fully, not letting you adjust to his size.

His hands are bound in your hair as his hips speed up, his cock knocking into your spot with lightning speed, the intensity feeling like he's about to tip over a glass full of water.

"F-fuck Minho, m-more," you say before you can filter it out of your mouth.

"More?" Lee Know says, a smug tone painting the letters as he gives your ass another slap.

"Oh really angel? He gets to keep fucking you?" Hyunjin says, attitude thick in his silky voice.

That seems to snap you back to the reality of the situation as you swallow hard.

"Minho," you say, signaling him to, unfortunately, pull out.

He retreats with a growl, clearly frustrated from lack of finishing.

"You're intriguing Y/n."

"M-more than just your ninth member, I'm like a seer of all things," you say, snaking your head around towards where the now mumbling voices are coming from.

Your body is starting to tremble, the lack of your vision unlocking and magnifying all other senses within your body. Each touch from them is more rounded, each sound is sharper, you feel like a goddamn vampire with supernatural senses.

Hands grab you once more, pulling you down onto the cushion but keeping you slouched facing the front of the couch. You yelp from the surprise of changing positions so quickly, your hair getting messier by the second.

"Ooh surprises, I love surprises," you say just as the new member's warm hands hold your legs open in a wide v-shape in the air.

His rounded tip dips in once, twice, before sending all his weight into your cunt at once. The stretch was obvious.

A blood curdling moan rips out of you at the weight of the thrusts he's giving you. His hips are at a different angle than the others before him, his hips waving in an effortless thrust; one that scoops out your insides in the most intoxicating way. The smooth thrusts angle upwards, massaging your sweet spot that makes your eyes roll back.

You get lost in the rhythm he's giving you, not wanting your blissed out state to stop.

Suddenly you hear Minho clear his throat, snapping you back to reality.

"H-heavy c-cock, f-fucking incredible stroke game, wants me pliable...B-Binnie I know that's you...sp-splitting me in two."

Your cunt is pulsing around him, the stretch stinging so good your toes curl so hard, threatening to lose feeling.

He pulls out and you reflexively whine, "t-too fast." You trip over the words as your cunt feels utterly abandoned.

"Y/n, you're something, you know that?" Binnie says still stroking his hardened cock as he assumes his place next to the other members.

"'M aching." Your voice is thinner this time, like you're slowly slipping into a dream. You've nearly forgotten all about the bet, now you just have tunnel vision for your own release.

You were right, it was the best decision you could have made - doing this bet. But it was also torture having each member pull out when all you really wanted was to say fuck the bet and let them all have their way with you.

But your pride was not letting up.

The 6th member interrupts your thought as you're positioned onto your back, flat. The new set of hands press your wrists above your head, their fingers gentle given the sudden movement.

The new position makes your teeth capture your lips, tugging hard.

He takes a second to get comfortable, cock vibrating as he trembles from the pleasure of nudging his cock inside of you. He bottoms out in one thrust, pausing to collect himself once in.

All movements on his end have ceased, like he's trying so hard to control himself.

You don't even need one more thrust to know who that is.

"H-Hannie baby, you're trying so hard n-not to ruin me or yourself by cumming right...now."

You hear a hiccupped moan flutter from his pretty lips as he pulls out like he's caught fire.

"F-fuck," he says, turning away and closing his eyes to stave off the impending orgasm.

"Cute," Felix says breaking the silence that has droned on since you started this whole thing. "You look like you're actually gonna splatter cum all over yourself right now."

"H-hey you don't understand how w-warm sh-," Han retorts, but trails off as you hear him bite down on his hand.

You chuckle, amused by his lack of control. How his tip is just dripping with precum ready to explode.

"Yeah Hannie, I know you can't help it baby, m'just wanna take care of you." You say it with a little twist in your voice like you're egging him on.

Your body convulses suddenly, not long away from an orgasm ripping through you from the constant friction you've endured. You shut your lips tight, trying to calm the storm inside of you.

"N-no one slide in yet, or I'll cum."

"See I'm not the only one!" Han tries to defend himself.

"Y-yeah but you haven't just had 6 cocks in you," you laugh and can just sense the redness creeping into his cheeks.

Your members give you a minute to suppress the feeling in your stomach threatening to tear you apart.

"Okay, go," you say, ready for more.

Two more, you can do this, you coach yourself internally.

The next mystery member wants you on your hands and knees but still on the couch. A caress of their soft hands on your ass has you grinding back to get more.

"Mmm already making me beg...okay, I see you number 7."

They spread your ass cheeks before circling their tip on your stretched out cunt. He slides his cock up to your other, much tighter hole. He alternates nudging your sensitive holes, his hand massaging your ass in harsh circles.

With a grip on your hips, his whole length enters you. He's big, just like the rest, but there's a lean to his cock that you feel, prodding you in a new, gorgeous corner of your walls.

His fingers are digging into your skin hard, but his thrusts are just steadily increasing.

"Patient too, but wants their way with me," you whisper, circling your ass backwards to catch him deeper.

"Seungminnie you just wanna fuck me like your little pup don't you?"

He stills.

"C'mon Y/n. H-how?" he says, utterly shocked but still pumping you as you've grabbed his wrist now to try and keep him inside.

"I've heard you fuck your fist moaning. 'Such a desperate pup," You mimic him with a low growl just like you've heard many, many times.

"You like watching me like a perv?" Seungmin teases.

"You can watch me anytime Seungminnie, might even let you help."

You can hear his head shaking through the lazy corners of his laugh at your bold statement.

He gives your ass a little slap before climbing back off the couch, joining the others.

"Last one. Then you can cum." Chan says, his voice shaky from his own stimulation it seemed.

Member 8 wants you back on your stomach but rather than take you flat, he tucks a pillow under your hips to raise them a few inches.

"F-Felix baby, why even bother? I know it's you," you say through a very tired voice.

You hadn't realized how much they'd drain you one after another.

"You wanna cum don't you? Gotta guess all of us sweetheart," he says in a thick, deep Aussie accent that resonates in your ears and travels right back down to your core.

"Fuck Felix," you pant, feeling that rubber band tighten in your stomach again. "Don't play with me, its been a long night."

He adjusts the pillow once more, bending down to whisper by your ear, "might want to hold on sweetheart."

Reflexively, you press your ass towards him more, wrapping your fingers around the pillow beneath you.

"Just...like," he says, sliding the first inch in, before bottoming out with a flick of his hips, "that."

"Mmm" you hum. "Lixie, the t-type to look innocent but fuck you d-dumb," you say, your body jolting with each harsh thrust of his hips.

He speeds up not wasting any time in getting you both to your highs. Being the last member to go, he doesn't seem to be worried about pushing either of you too far.

"Wanna c-cum on your cock L-Lixie."

You know it might not be fair, to only let Lixie be the one to bring you over the edge, and on his cock nonetheless, but you thought you might die if another one pulled out of you not letting you release on them.

"I need to cum on c-cock."

Felix grabs the blindfold, pushing it off of your head and your eyes blur, colors looking more contrasting than you remember.

Blinking to adjust to the light, you see all 8 of your members stroking their cocks above you.

"What do you think hm?" Felix addresses the members. "Should we let her cum on my cock?"

"I-I won, I choose," you say through your teeth, feeling like you might explode if you don't get to cum soon.

"She's right, let our little bunny choose," Changbin says, kneeling now, stroking his cock at a new angle.

"W-want to be on top," you say.

You're straddling Felix now, reverse cowgirl as you watch the members mouths open, tongues swiping their lips, pained pleasured expressions painting their features.

You reach out, feeling around each one, going from member to member, running your shaky hand over their leaking cocks.

Never would you have guessed you'd ever be in this situation, having all 8 of your members wide eyed and at the mercy of your cunt.

And it felt fucking phenomenal.

Their eyes are all mesmerized by you, Felix's eyes glued to your ass bouncing up and down on his cock. His head is thrown back, his pouty mouth open in awe.

You ride him a little harder, his cock hitting your spot as your clit goes haywire from stimulation.

"Fuck m'gonna cum," you say, fingers dragging on Felix's thighs as you feel the rubber band finally snap deep in your belly.

As the wave washes over you, Hyunjin kneels in front of you beside Changbin, suctioning his puffy, warm lips over your nipple. The slight sting from how hard he's sucking makes you scream out as Felix drills you from beneath, helping you ride out your high.

Lee Know fists your hair, yanking your head back

"That's it kitten, 8 cocks enough for you?" he menaces.

Your body finally gives out as Felix and Chan hold your body up, preventing you from toppling over. Your muscles are seized with pleasure, your eyes closed in bliss.

"Fuck Y/n, babygirl, we've got you," Chan says, hands on your waist as your body continues undulating.

You make it a mission to make eye contact with each member as they furiously pump their cocks.

Hyunjin is the first to let go, the fixation on your breast tipping him over the edge. His mouth is sucking your nipple still as he shoots out ropes of warm cum on your chest and stomach.

The sight of him falling apart seems to trigger the rest of the members as they crowd around you releasing onto your sweaty, glistening skin nearly one right after the other.

Moans fill the room as they cum to the scene of the aftermath of your orgasm, as your body still jerks, electricity still running through you.

Felix taps your ass, "u-up m'gonna cum." He lifts you, counting on Chan and Lee Know to leverage your weight as you shoot up off of Felix's cock like a rocket. You bend forward, both members helping you to plant your hands on the floor so that you don't fall on your face.

A deep groan followed by heavy pants come from Felix as he empties himself on your back and ass, his warm cum making designs on your beautiful skin.

The front of your body is all sticky, cum falling off your skin onto the floor from the mess the guys made on you.

"Holy shit," Seungmin says, lying flat on the floor, spent.

Felix helps you upright and helps you off of his lap. "Y/n, fuck" Felix says, eyes looking like that definitely will not be the last time that happens.

You try to stand but your legs feel injected with jelly.

Chan catches your misstep. "Woah Y/n, you good?"

"See I told you, I know all your tells boys," you say, so pleased with yourself and utterly satisfied.

6K notes · View notes

adestayskz · 24 days

Text

No Contact

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

Word Count: 7.6k

Tags: ANGST with a happy ending, amnesia, memory loss, grief, pining, yearning, hurt/comfort

Summary: It was one of the worst car accidents the city has seen. You weren't supposed to be in that car, but you were. When you lose your memories from the incident, Chan is ordered to stay away for your recovery's sake; but it takes a larger toll on him than anyone could have imagined. Until one day, he just can't take it anymore.

A/N: inspired by this post. Angst ahoy <3 I had too much fun writing this. Maybe I like writing emotions. Enjoy <3

—————————————————————

No contact. That’s what Chan was told was best for you. That’s what was going to help your healing process.

No contact whatsoever. No texts, no calls, no little surprise visits. No fucking contact. None.

He was told it would just hurt you if he talked to you— that he would just make it worse. That you would only become more confused and upset. It would be absolutely detrimental for him to see you.

Hell, it might even make you worse.

It’s killing Chan slowly. Every single day feels like torture for him. The days get exponentially worse. He feels like a hollow shell of his former self, like the wind goes through him when he steps foot outside. It feels like his shoulders are permanently sagged forward.

But the worst part is that you don’t even know it. You don’t know how he’s collapsing inwards like a dying star.

It was one of the worst car accidents the city has seen in years. A friend was driving you home that night; Chan had begged to be the one to pick you up, but no, you said it was fine, the friend was heading that way anyway. Why make the unnecessary trip?

You told him he needed sleep. Always putting his needs before your own. You always did.

He should’ve put up more of a fuss. He should’ve put his foot down. He should’ve already been outside the house in his car with the passenger seat warmer on by the time you left that stupid party.

He should’ve gotten out of the car and opened the door for you and had a cold bottle of water waiting in the cup holder. He should’ve kissed you on the cheek and asked you all about your time. He should have been there.

But he wasn’t.

A drunk driver slammed into the passenger side of your friend’s car at a speed that you shouldn’t have even survived.

Miracles do happen, though. But what a price to pay for a miracle.

For as long as he lives, Chan will never forget the sheer panic and terror he felt when the call came in from your mother. You were already at the hospital undergoing emergency surgery.

He was the last to know.

After all, he wasn’t your emergency contact. He’s only your boyfriend.

Was. Was your boyfriend. Was? Is that the right word? He isn’t. But he is. There was no breakup.

Is that what he’s going through right now? A breakup?

You’re not on a break. But what is this? What is this loss? This severance is so horrible.

It’s fucked up. It’s a fucked up, amnesia induced breakup.

Memory loss is a funny thing. Doctors scratch their heads and shrug their shoulders without any answers. The brain is a tricky thing.

Chan did what he was allowed to in that hospital. He sat in that stark white room under those harsh LED lights and he waited until you were awake. He even waited much longer after that because only two visitors were permitted inside your room at a time— and he wasn’t about to force his way in and kick one of your parents out.

He let your sister go in first. He even let your cousin go in before him. But when it was finally his turn…

He never got to see you.

“The last five years?” Chan asked with a tight throat. Did he even have any more tears left to cry? How is there any liquid left in his body?

“She says doesn’t remember anything, Chan.” Your mother’s voice was just as hollow as his. “She was asking about her freshman roommate.”

A doctor stood in between him and your mom. “It’s best if we don’t throw everything at her at once. Amnesia victims rarely never get their memories back, but we’ve found that it needs to happen organically. Seeing her will overwhelm her and that could stunt the healing process.”

Chan’s mouth opened and closed several times but no words came out at all. His heart may have stopped.

Does that mean…?

No…

“He can’t see her at all?” Your mother asked quietly. “Not even to visit? He doesn’t have to mention he’s her boyfriend, he can just say that he’s a friend, or a coworker, or—“

The doctor cut her off. “No contact. Not until we’re a bit through recovery and she’s starting to get her memories back.”

Chan was suddenly in a chair.

When did he sit down? The Doctor’s hands were on his shoulders and he was looking down at him with a sympathetic stare.

“It’s not forever, son.”

Chan was only able to nod. His mouth was so dry, the back of his neck felt clammy. His head was spinning.

Books often speak of moments as ‘Earth-shattering’. Of moments so catastrophic that the planet stops spinning on its axis and time stands still.

He gets it now.

The doctor spoke a few more words to your mother before walking away. She looked down at Chan sadly.

Your mother sat on the chair next to him and wrapped him up in a hug. His world was falling apart around him. You were slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t even see you.

Hot tears poured down his face while he sat there with his head in his hands. Why does it feel like he’s losing you? Why is this the only way? Why are these the cards that are being dealt?

Why didn’t he pick you up from that fucking party?

“She loves you, Chan… she’ll come to her senses, I promise, I promise.”

It’s been two months, one week, two days and eight hours since he’s talked to you. That long since he’s known peace. Since he’s known any sort of comfort.

You’re the last thing he thinks about before he closes his eyes at night and the first thing he thinks about in the morning. No matter how many times he wakes up and feels the cold bed next to him, it never dulls the ache in his chest.

It’s not a healthy mindset, he knows. And it’s not that you were codependent on one another, that’s not it at all. You were just… ripped away from him.

Food has no taste. The sky isn’t as blue as it used to be. Clouds don’t make fun shapes like they did with you by his side. The stars are still in the sky, he thinks, he hasn’t had the guts to look at them.

God, you love the stars so much. You always talked about how pretty they are— how absolutely breath-taking you think the universe is. Chan would simply listen, he would always listen. All he ever wanted to do was listen.

How is he supposed to look at anything the same way? How is any day supposed to be normal when half of his life is suddenly missing. What’s the point of making music if you’re not there to listen to it?

5:00 PM is the hardest hour to get through. You don’t open the door to his apartment when you get off work. You don’t tell him about the things that happened during your shift.

He can’t leave little snacks out on the counter for you to eat when you get home like he used to.

Mice would get to it before you did.

His lonely apartment is slowly losing your smell. He could spray your perfume, sure, you keep a bottle at his place, but it’s not the same. You somehow made the scent sweeter by letting it linger on your skin.

All of your old toiletries are still there where you left them. Your spare toothbrush has been bone dry and untouched since 9:28 AM that morning. Your shampoo bottles are still half full and waiting for you on your shower shelf.

It had rained a few days before your accident. You had started a puzzle on his dining room table that day– you told him it was the perfect rainy day activity. It was a picture of different comic book covers. It’s now collecting dust. Unmoved and unsolved.

Just like him.

It was a battle and a half to throw away your leftovers from two nights before your car accident. He felt like he was throwing away your normal life, your tiny domestic traces.

He didn’t want to cleanse you from his life, but you were washing away. Your ghost was eroding with time.

Your spare car keys are still hanging on the key ring. Your rain coat is on the third hook draped right over your work bag. Even your phone charger is still plugged into the wall on your side of the bed.

Did you know you forgot to put your favorite gold earrings on that night? You left them on the nightstand. They’re still there, don’t worry. Right next to the glass of water you drank half of.

Do you even remember them…? He got them for you for your first Christmas together.

There are so many signs of a life interrupted integrated so deeply into his.

You’re a clock whose hands stopped suddenly at 1:24 AM.

This sort of haunting is unbearable. You’re not a phantom in his life, though. You’re something so unattainable that he had once but it was taken away with empty promises of return.

It’s like you’re a shiny diamond hidden away beneath lasers and traps like in those stupid, cheesy spy movies you love so much.

Do you know what he would give to watch one of those with you in his arms right now?

Chan feels like he’s banging on the glass of a one sided window, screaming for you to remember him. Meanwhile you’re on the other side only staring into a mirror, trying to pick up the pieces from before.

Your mom sends him updates on your condition all the time. He knows that you started working at the local library about three weeks ago.

You had worked there in college before graduating and getting your last job. It was one of your favorite jobs you ever had. That library was so special to you.

To him too.

It’s the library where he first met you.

The same library Chan finds himself in front of now.

He shouldn’t go in. He can’t go in. He absolutely should not go inside.

Bang Chan you should not and cannot go inside this library. Under no circumstances should you step foot inside this building where your other half is working.

Absolutely not.

The door emits a soft ding when he opens it. Electronic. Quiet. Peaceful.

There’s a certain type of silence that sits in a library. It’s closer, thicker— warmer. It’s an expected silence. They’re supposed to be quiet.

Chan can hear his sneakers take every step on the carpeted floor. There’s no one sitting behind the front desk; that’s where you usually were.

His eyes look all around, but there’s no sign of you anywhere. A few people toddle around the shelves.

There’s more soft beeping coming from the self checkout. That’s new. They didn’t have that when you worked here years ago. You probably hate it.

On the day he met you, you were wearing a pair of dark green pants and a black long sleeve shirt. Your hair was clipped behind your head and pieces were falling over your face.

Chan was only in the library to look for the bathroom. He was on his way to lunch with a friend, but he just had to stop somewhere. The library was the closest option.

When he had heard the sound of books falling, he investigated and found you in the center of the carnage, the glasses on your nose sat crookedly and you rubbed your head.

Your eyes met. He was a goner.

How disgustingly poetic that he finds himself here now. Where he really shouldn’t be. He was quite literally prescribed a restraining order against you.

Chan meanders around with his hands in his pockets, the silence getting louder and louder the further he gets inside.

Maybe you’re not working today?

No one is anywhere to be seen. He’s checking down all the aisles but he doesn’t see you anywhere.

Maybe it’s for the best that you’re not here. He’s not supposed to see you anyway. He’s breaking the doctor’s rules by doing this anyway.

He needs to leave. He needs to get out of here.

His feet stop in front of the very aisle where he saw you for the first time.

Empty.

You-less.

If he thinks hard enough, Chan can picture you in front of him, laughing quietly with the most adorable, embarrassed blush on your cheeks.

What a moment.

Is it possible to spend eternity in that moment? Obviously internal clocks can be rewound, paused, flipped every which way; can he go back to that day? Can he go back to the day where every single poem suddenly made sense?

He would take any day, really, any day that had you in it. Birthdays, holidays, late night dates, Hell, he’d even take a day where he only saw you when you dropped off a drink for him in his studio.

Anything, he would take anything just to see your smile bloom on your face while he watches.

“Can I help you find something?”

His breath catches in his throat, it feels like he’s physically punched in the chest. That voice. That beautiful, melodic voice. He hasn’t heard it in person in months, only in videos he had on his phone.

Slowly, Chan turns to face the source of his favorite pitch.

His throat immediately tightens.

There you are. You. Beautiful you.

Standing right there. Looking at him like a complete fucking stranger.

“I…” his voice is hoarse. Chan can feel the tears in his eyes begin to form. He didn’t think this through, did he?

You’re staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to say anything. You’re waiting, come on, Chan. Speak up. Say something.

Looking up at the shelf, you look back down at him with a smile. “A history guy, hm?”

No.

“Yeah.”

You giggle. “I always had a thing for History.”

He knows.

“Really?”

“Mhmm.” You respond with a grin.

Specifically Ancient Rome. He knows.

You continue. “Specifically Ancient Rome.”

Chan nods and clears his throat. His palms feel so sweaty. His chest is almost panting. Every single cell in his body just wants to lunge forward and wrap you in a hug.

He wants to bury his face in your neck and sob while you hold him. He wants to tell you that he missed you so much. He wants to tell you how your pillow is losing the scent of your shampoo. He wants to tell you that he’s been DVR-ing your favorite show so that you can watch it later. He wants to tell you about his day. He wants to kiss you until you’re breathless. He wants you to hear the new song he’s been working on.

But—

“If you need anything, let me know.”

You start to walk away.

Chan feels his heart physically break. It’s happening again. He’s on the other side of that one way mirror. It’s happening again! No, no please.

His eyes widen, the words get caught in his throat. Fuck, Y/N, please!

“W-Wait!” he says quickly.

You turn around with a curious look.

“The Odyssey,” he blurts. “Where uh… where can I find it?”

Your eyes light up. “Oh, I love The Odyssey.”

He knows. You collect different translations of it.

“I collect different translations of that book, here I’ll show you where it is.”

With a little hop in your step you lead him towards all the classics.

He watches you like you’re an oasis in the desert— maybe it’s because you are. You’re what he’s been crawling towards for two months.

You lead him all the way to the shelf where the Odyssey lives. Your nimble fingers reach forward and grab one of the copies.

Green nail polish. You still paint your nails green. You picked that habit up a year after he met you.

The memories have to be there, Y/N, they have to be. Chan bought you that first bottle of green nail polish as a joke on Saint Patrick’s Day.

Y/N, please.

“This translation is my favorite,” you whisper and hand him the book.

Chan smiles sadly and takes the book from you, unable to meet your eyes. He knows if he gazes into those gorgeous eyes that he’ll lose it. He’ll fall to his knees and cry.

“Thank you,” he whispers back.

You stand there for a moment, he can feel your eyes on his face. He always has been able to tell when you were looking at him, it’s a little, secret superpower.

From foot to foot, your weight shifts.

You only do that when you’re confused. Why are you confused? Y/N, are you confused?

“I’m sorry…” you start, sounding so unsure. “You remind me of someone…”

It feels like a defibrillator was hooked up to his chest. Chan’s eyes widen and he finally looks up at you.

You’re looking at him so carefully. He can see the gears turning in your head. Your tongue pokes out of your lips and wets them.

Y/N, please.

“I just… I can’t figure out who. Do I… do I know you? I was—” You stop yourself.

Fuck. Fuck! What was he supposed to say? Fuck!

Chan wants to scream. He wants to grab you by the shoulders and cry that he’s your soulmate, that he’s the person that knows you better than anyone else in this world.

Yes, you do, you do know him. And he knows you. He knows how you take your coffee, what movies make you cry, what color jell-o is your favorite.

He knows that you never wear matching socks and you always lift your feet when driving over railroad tracks.

He knows that when you were 6 you ran into the corner of a cabinet and that’s how you got that scar next to your eyebrow.

Chan knows that your entire life you wanted to be an author but you’re so scared of failure that you decided not to chase after it.

He knows everything.

“I just have one of those faces, I guess.” It comes out of his mouth so strained.

You stare back at him so carefully. Do you see right through him?

“Maybe,” you say slowly. You don’t believe him. He knows that tone. You absolutely do not believe a word he’s saying. “Are you sure?”

Chan swallows, he grips the book in his hand tighter. The lump in his throat almost doesn’t go down, more tears prick at his eyes.

“I would never forget a face like yours,” he chokes out.

Your eyes widen and you blush, looking to the side with a smile. You always were a sucker for cheesy compliments.

After thinking for a second, you reach into your pocket and take out a little slip of paper.

“Here,” you say after scribbling something down. Holding it out, Chan sees it’s your phone number. He has it memorized. “If you ever need more books to read… or find… call me.”

Chan takes the paper with a racing heart. He gives you a smile, his dimples showing. “I think I will,” he whispers to you.

Another few moments pass of you just staring at him before you nod and giggle nervously. “Well, I gotta get back to work, so..”

Chan nods and moves to the side. You walk past him.

Your perfume curls around him like a blanket and he craves that sweet serenity he finds when he holds you close and breathes you in.

Three steps after you pass him, you turn around. “Oh, I didn’t catch your name.”.

“Chan,” he answers softly.

“Chan,” you repeat. It goes right through him.

Your voice. Your sweet, beautiful, melodic voice. Finally, he heard you say his name again.

“I’m Y/N,” you whisper to him with a friendly smile.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” Chan has to physically force the word ‘meet’ out of his mouth.

“You too, Chan.”

And with that, you were gone, retreating back into your fortress of papyrus.

—————————————————————

A bad idea was going into the library that day.

An even worse idea was texting you the day after to ask how your day is going.

And then an absolutely fucking idiotic move was asking if you wanted to go to dinner with him.

And the worst part? You said yes.

So, now here Chan was, standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom getting ready for what you thought was a first date, but to him was just a dinner date.

How is he supposed to do this? He’s not, that’s how.

Chan fiddles with his bracelet right before his phone rings.

His heart drops when he sees the caller ID, your mother.

“Ah, fuck…” he whispers before grabbing his phone. Of course you were going to tell your mom, you tell your mom everything.

“Hello?” he asks warily into the phone.

“Hi, Chan,” she says slowly, she sounds nervous, why does she sound nervous.

“How are you? Is everything okay?”

“It’s Y/N…” Her voice lowers. Chan’s heart drops. “Before you panic, she’s okay! It’s um.. she’s getting ready right now… for a date…”

Chan isn’t moving. Yes, he knows you are. He knows it. But words won’t form in his mouth.

“Channie.. I’m starting to wonder if that doctor isn’t right.. I can’t stand the thought of her finding someone else when you’re waiting for her… I tried to talk her out of it but she just seems so floaty and happy. God, I feel sick to my stomach.”

His jaw clenches. Now or never.

“It’s with me,” he blurts.

Your mom goes silent. Then a huge sigh comes out of her mouth.

“I wish I could say I’m angry,” a little laugh follows it. “I think I’m only angry that you didn’t say something.”

He tells her everything, down to the way he pretended not to know you.

“Well, you’re going to have to tell her eventually.” Your mom sounds unsure, herself.

“Or maybe she’ll remember me.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

Chan sits down on the edge of his bed. His eyes are staring at the wall, unfocused.

She’s right. What if you don’t?

“Then, I’ll just … do it all again.”

Silence greets him on the other side of the line. Another tiny laugh comes from your mom. “I always knew you two were perfect together. Just like two magnets, you always come towards one another.”

—————————————————————

“I’ve never eaten here before,” you say with a chipper smile on your face from across the table.

Yes, you have.

“Really?” Chan asks, taking a sip of his water.

“I pass it all the time and always wondered how the food was.”

He looks back down at the old menu.

This restaurant was more than special to him. It’s where he took you on your first date. It’s an old fashioned burger joint with the greasiest, most delicious French fries in town.

The first time you guys came here, you talked and talked until the place closed. And even after that, you drove around and talked until it was late.

“I’ve been here a few times, it’s really good. The milkshakes are some of the best I’ve ever had.” Chan’s sweaty hands fiddle with the menu.

He’s more nervous now than on the first date.

“What’s the best one?” you ask with a smile.

A small laugh comes out of his nose. “The peanut butter one.”

It was your favorite.

“Yeah but then you can’t have any,” you say so nonchalantly, looking down at the menu.

His eyebrows knit together. “What?”

“‘Cause of your allergy.”

He stops.

You stop.

He has a peanut allergy. Chan has a peanut allergy.

His lips purse like he’s going to say something but you beat him to the punch.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out. “I… I don’t know why I thought that.” Your hands grip the menu a little tighter. “Maybe I’m thinking of someone else?”

Chan shakes his head. “No, no, it’s okay. I… I do have a peanut allergy. Maybe I said something before?”

You stare at him for a long second before looking back down at the menu once more. “Yeah… um. Maybe.”

He definitely did not say something.

Dinner continues on. Chan listens to you talk and pretends he’s never heard your stories before and he tells you ones he knows he’s said before.

The entire time, you were beaming at him, just like you used to before the accident. Your face never loses its constant happy glow. He’s not sure that the muscles in your face know how to frown.

You’re the last two people in the restaurant. The staff doesn’t seem to mind. Maybe they recognize you both. Maybe.

A lull dips into your conversation. Both of you know you should leave. Neither wants to. Especially the broken man sitting across from you.

Chan takes the last sip of his drink. The bill has been paid for about an hour at this point. You’re looking down at your lap with a pink flush on your cheeks.

You bite your lip and look up at Chan carefully.

“Are you… are you sure I don’t know you, Chan?”

He stares at you. Did you know that you always bite your lip like that when you’re confused?

“I just… I really feel like I know you. There’s just…” you pause, trying to find your words. He knows you want to tell him about the accident. He knows you want to say it but you don’t want to weird him out.

What the fuck is he supposed to do? What is he supposed to tell you?

“Something happened to me a little while ago, my brain’s been… fuzzy since then,” you explain shyly. “I know you said you don’t know me but I just… I can’t help feel like that’s not true.”

Chan’s jaw clenches, his knee bounces anxiously underneath the table. His head turns to the side in his typical nervous tick.

Your mother’s words echo in his mind, his tongue suddenly feels like it’s swelling to the size of his mouth— making him unable to speak. Should he tell you? Is it now or never?

“I don’t mean to make it weird, Chan.”

He licks his lips and opens his mouth.

Your phone rings.

A sigh of relief comes from deep within Chan’s chest.

Reluctantly, you pick up the phone and hold it to your ear. “Hello? …. No, I didn’t know…. Yeah, of course…. Sure… Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Just as quickly as you answered the phone, you hang up.

“Sorry,” you mumble. “Someone called out of work for tomorrow, they need me to come in.”

“Do you need to get going?” Chan asks, looking down at the time. It’s well past 10 o’clock.

A sad smile crosses your face. “I mean… probably.” The time on your watch flashes back at you. He can tell you don’t want to go home yet.

“Come on, Y/N, I’ll walk you home.”

Chan’s already standing up from the table, picking his jacket up off the back of his chair. You watch his movements and slowly get up, your movements screaming reluctance.

—————————————————————

It’s three dates later when the two of you are walking down the street towards your house. It’s only a few blocks from here, but you both decide to take a tiny detour through the local park.

“I have to say I’m a little excited to meet your friends,” you giggle. “I hope that’s not weird.”

You already have.

“It’s not weird at all. I’m sure they’d like you.” Chan nudges your arm with his elbow, his hands staying in his pocket.

“Changbin sounds like a blast.”

He was your favorite before.

“The two of you…” Chan thinks over his words carefully. “The two of you would definitely cause some mischief.”

And you have.

A tiny lull of comfortable silence falls over the conversation.

Both of you meander towards the swings. A cold wind blows through the air but neither of you react to it.

With a tiny giggle, you sit down on one of the swings and hold onto the chains on the side.

You are just so… you. You’re just your authentic self. Amnesia or not, you haven’t changed a bit. It’s so charming.

“I can’t remember the last time I went on the swings.” You start to move your body back and forth, not too much but enough to get the tiny thrill the toy brings.

Chan walks up and stands next to you, his hand coming out and grabbing at the chain of the swing next to yours.

The brightest smile stretches over your face.

God, it really doesn’t take a lot to make you smile, does it? He guesses that means it doesn’t take a lot for him either since he smiles when you do.

He can’t help it.

He watches you move back and forth, the cold breeze kicking up a bit more and blowing dead leaves across the sidewalk.

“What’s wrong, Chan? Allergic to swings?” you tease.

He rolls his eyes with a smirk. “No, I just far more enjoy watching you have fun.”

Your cheeks flush. If he didn’t know you, maybe he would’ve chocked it up to the cold. But he knows the difference between your blush and the elements now.

“You’re a smooth talker, Bang Chan.”

“It comes easy with you, Y/N L/N.”

Another laugh from you.

“Shameless flirt.”

He puts his hand on his chest in mock hurt. “Ouch! I just speak the truth, that’s all. Not my fault I like seeing you blush.”

Every word that comes out of his mouth feels so natural. If he really thinks about it, he’s in a weirdly unique situation. Not many couples get to start over, to feel those butterflies again. But here he is, his palms starting to get sweaty as he imagines kissing you.

Would you call it a first kiss? Maybe.

It has been four dates. It wouldn’t be.. inappropriate to kiss you, would it? The two of you kissed on your third date a few years ago.

He wants to kiss you so bad.

Should he? Shouldn’t he? God, why is this so hard?

Chan reaches out and grabs the chain of your swing, pulling it to a very gentle stop.

“Uh oh, fun police,” you tease and look up at him with a grin.

Looking down at you, Chan allows his eyes to look over every detail of your face that he already had memorized. You haven’t changed at all except the new scar on the side of your forehead from the accident.

It’s the same eyes, same nose, same chin that he fell in love with so long ago.

The same asymmetrical eyes that you’re so self conscious of but he loves. Your hair is wind blown and splayed every which way. It adds a childish charm to your features.

Very carefully, Chan moves his free hand down to cup your cheek. His warm palm soothes your ice cold face. He hears your breath catch in your throat at his touch.

His thumb swipes over your cheek, fingertips run down the soft lines of your jawline. Eventually his thumb ends up under your chin which he tilts up.

Your eyes sparkle. They somehow capture the light of the lamps around the playground. But they’ve always done that.

You’re always so enchanting.

Is this a good idea?

Is kissing you the best option?

But does he even have the strength to stop himself now?

Almost three months without feeling your lips on his has been torture, and here he is, with you in his hands and there’s still this nagging feeling that he should stop.

One look into your eyes quells that anxiety.

Your eyes keep flickering down to his own lips, the shaky breath you let out is hot against his fingers. Everything feels warmer compared to the air outside.

He can’t take it anymore.

Chan leans down and presses his lips to yours. They’re warm and slightly chapped.

But, my god, he’s never felt anything this heavenly before. It’s like his entire body unwinds. Like a fire was lit inside his stomach.

He moves his hand to the back of your head and keeps your lips pressed against his. Your head tilts to the side slightly. It’s just like he remembers.

It’s just the first kiss, he can’t let himself get carried away. He can’t.

He can’t let his fingers wind through your hair. He can’t melt into your touch on his cheek. He can’t let himself drown in your lips.

But he is.

He’s letting you consume his very soul in one kiss.

How can something feel so healing yet hurt so badly at the same time? It’s like you’re ripping open a wound and bandaging it at the same time.

No matter how hard he tries, he can’t bring his lips away from yours. Your hand slides down to caress his jawline with those soft, manicured fingers.

Your lips open and close over his like mirror images. The feeling shoots straight down into Chan’s gut. It’s like the first time for him all over again.

Those butterflies are going insane in his stomach. Your scent kicks up in the wind and he can’t help but take a large breath through his nose.

God, he can’t stop himself. It feels too good.

His hand moves from the back of your hair to cup your cheek and bring you closer.

He immediately stops.

Why is your face wet?

Chan pulls away from the kiss and looks down at you with concern written all over his expression.

You’re crying. Why … why are you crying?

Your eyes open and you look at him confused.

“Chan?” you whisper. You’re confused too. What?

“Why are you crying, Y/N?” he asks with a thick voice.

Your eyes widen and your own hand comes up to swipe at your cheeks. Sure enough, you’re met with tears.

“I… I don’t know,” you say so quietly. “I-I’m not sure.”

Chan starts backing away, your eyes snap to focus on his. Your hand shoots up to grab at his to keep him there. You’re still so confused.

Emotions are flying through your eyes. It almost looks like someone is clicking a light switch on and off in the back of your mind. A lightbulb is flickering in your soul like a dying neon sign in an old shop window.

Every muscle in your face is twitching.

What’s happening?

“Channie—“ your own voice cuts off by a sob.

Chan’s heart jumpstarts. You haven’t called him that… not in two months… that’s what you and your mother called him before the accident.

Are you…? Are you remembering? What’s happening?

Please.

Slowly, your hand falls from his.

Chan stays there, unmoving like a statue. What’s happening inside your mind right now? It looks like you’re reaching and reaching for something that you can’t quite put your finger on.

He's watching you struggle. It’s like when you can’t remember a word. It’s right there. It’s on the tip of your tongue.

You gulp, your eyes leave his and you look down at your lap. The dirt crunches under your feet as you shuffle your shoes around.

Chan swipes his thumb over your cheek, brushing away the tears. He’s biting back his own.

“It’s okay—“ “I’m sorry—“ are both said at the exact same time.

He knew it was coming. He knows you. But you don’t know him. Not anymore.

But you do.

“It wasn’t the kiss. I—“

“It’s okay, Y/N.”

You know him.

“Chan, I really loved the kiss.”

Chan. Not Channie.

He brushes his thumb over your lips. “It’s okay,” he repeats gently. “You don’t have to explain.”

His other hand comes up and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyes slide shut at the sensation.

Your bottom lip quivers and you pull it into your mouth and bite it. With a tight swallow, your throat bobs.

“It happens sometimes,” you whisper. “It’s from the accident I had.”

Chan continues to soothingly rub your skin with his thumb. Slowly, he kneels down to be in front of you rather than leaning over.

The dirt is cold on his knee. It seeps through the fabric of his pants. He couldn’t care less.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” he whispers back to you.

You shake your head gently, your hands folding in your lap. “No, no. I… I want to tell you. I need to tell you. It’s been happening more and more whenever I’m around you. It’s like every touch, every word you say bounces around my brain and makes me feel the worst case of deja vu.

“Every time I’m with you I feel like I’m trying to recall a dream I had last night but I just can’t remember what it was.”

You’re rambling. You only ramble when you’re overwhelmed and scared.

“Chan, every time I’m with you it feels like some part of me is screaming to be let out.”

Your eyes open and you stare right through him. Chan feels his heart squeeze and almost stop completely. Despite your best efforts, the tears keep coming.

“I was in a car accident a few months ago. I had such a severe concussion that I lost the last five years of my memory.”

How is your voice so even?

Chan’s jaw clenches. Fuck fuck fuck.

He knows. Yes, Y/N. He knows. Fuck, does he know! If anyone fucking knows, it’s him.

“I—“ he starts but you cut him off.

“Please,” you choke out and take a deep breath. “And since then I’ve been getting bits and pieces of my memory back. Sometimes they’re in large chunks, other times they just … come back.

“When I try to think about my life before the accident. There’s this… person there. Someone important. Someone so, so important that it physically hurts me to think about how I don’t know who it is. They’re a constant. And I love that they’re a constant.”

Your hand comes up to clutch at your jacket right over your chest.

More tears come out of your eyes. The whites get more pink the more they flow.

“But I know them. I do! I know them like I know the back of my hand. I-I know they love music. I know they take milk and sugar in their morning coffee. I know they don’t get enough sleep at night.”

Louder and louder your voice gets as you grow sadder and sadder. The sobs between thoughts wrack your chest.

Him. You’re talking about him.

Chan’s hands hold your face gently. His thumbs can’t keep up with how much you’re crying.

Nothing has ever hurt this bad.

You know him. You just don’t know it’s him.

Nevertheless, you continue. “I remember that they have the most obnoxious phone alarm in the morning. I remember the passcode to their phone is 032518. I know that they have this one black sweatshirt that I love to steal even though it’s their favorite.”

Chan’s own eyes begin watering, he can’t stop it. You know him. You know him. You’ve remembered him this whole time and you didn’t even know it.

You reach up and grab one of his hands and place it on your heart. Underneath your jacket, he can feel your heartbeat thudding violently against your chest.

That same heartbeat he’s been dying to listen to while you play with his hair and tell him about your day. The heartbeat he would give anything to hear as he falls asleep. His throat gets tighter and tighter.

“I’ve been surrounded by bits and pieces of a ghost and no one wants to help me. No one will tell me anything, and I’m so confused, Chan. I can tell that there’s something that everyone is avoiding telling me.”

A gust of wind picks up through the playground. It nips at his cheeks. It’s now he realizes how many tears are falling.

A sob tears from his throat.

You grip his hand tighter.

“Tell me It’s you, Chan.” You’re begging. You’re actually begging while keeping his hand pressed against your heartbeat.

“Tell me that you’re the person that I see in my dreams. Tell me you’re the one that loves when I draw hearts on the bathroom mirror after I shower. Please tell me that you’re the one that loves the smell of lemon cookies but can’t stand the taste.”

Oh, god, Y/N.

“Tell me that you’re the one that wanted to pick me up from the party that night but I said no.”

He breaks.

He breaks right down in front of you. Every single ounce of self control leaves his body and he grabs you out of the swing, yanking you towards his body and holding you against his chest. The emotions that were being kept at bay come out like a raging storm.

He falls backwards into the dirt, you come crashing into him. Your arms wrap around him at the same time he wraps around you.

Chan buries his face in your neck, one hand on the back of your head and the other firmly around your waist.

Wails leave his mouth as he holds you to him. They’re deep and come from the very depths of his soul. The wound that’s been open for months is bleeding.

Every lonely night. Every dinner where he cooked for two instead of one by accident. Every long day he came back to an empty apartment. It’s all coming out.

You’re crying just as hard as he is, both of your hands gripping the back of his hoodie like a lifeline.

Your body in his arms is like a piece of a puzzle. Like he’s the dusty one sitting on his dining room table and you finally came in and finished it.

Weeks and weeks of grief come crashing down on him. He can’t lie anymore. Not to you. Never to you.

“It is me,” he cries into your neck, his hand running over the back of your head, feeling your hair slip through his fingers. It’s just like he remembers. “It’s all me, Y/N, It’s me.”

Your cries get louder, your body starts shaking in his arms.

“I’ve missed you, Y/N,” he cries harder. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so much. I missed my girl. Oh my god, I’ve missed you.”

Chan can’t pull you close enough, he can’t get you close enough to his body. You shift around and press yourself into him.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry I didn’t pick you up that night. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry you got hurt.”

Every ounce of grief is surfacing and clawing its way out of his throat.

“I’m sorry I had to lie to you these last two weeks. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I was so broken without you. I broke the doctor’s orders. I needed to see you, Y/N.”

Despite how hard he has you gripped against him, you manage to pull away slightly. You sit up in his lap and look down at his red, tear soaked face. His eyes are puffy and his chest is sputtering with sobs.

Both of your hands cup his cheeks and swipe away the tears the same way he did for you only a small bit ago. There’s a sad smile on your face.

“Please don’t apologize, Channie, it’s okay. I forgive you.”

Channie. You called him Channie.

He cries harder and buries his face into your chest. Your arms immediately come around him and keep him there, fingers threading into his hair.

You’re still crying. Both of you are.

“I know you were just doing what you were told to,” you whisper into his hair. He can hear your voice reverberate in your chest.

All he can do is cry.

Months of build up led to this moment. Endless days of going through the motions just for the next to be as dull and tedious led to him falling into you in the middle of a playground at night.

The only thing you do after that is hold him. You press kisses to the top of his head and whisper that you forgive him over and over.

Each one adds a stitch to the wound, shutting it.

You’re finally in his arms. You’re finally back where you belong.

“I missed you,” he says again, his cries dying down. He doesn't know what else to say. There's so much he wants to tell you, but everything dies on the tip of his tongue.

“I missed you too, Channie. My heart missed you so much.”

He sniffles and looks up at you. You pull your sweatshirt sleeve up and wipe away his stray tears gently.

“Every day it just felt like something was missing. It was you. You were missing.”

Chan can’t find any words to say. He just stares at you.

"I don't care how long it takes to remember, or even if I never do. I need you by my side for it, Chan."

His eyes sparkle at you for a moment but he leans up and captures your lips with his once more. It feels even better than the previous one.

The two of you relish in the contact, holding each other close and clinging to the closeness of it all.

It's taking everything within Chan not to start crying again. He's worried than any moment now, he'll wake up and this will all be some cruel dream.

But when you pull away from his lips, and he opens his eyes-- you're still there. You're still in his arms and smiling at him like you always did.

The burn is soothed.

“If you think about it,” you start with a tiny smile. “We’re lucky— in a way.”

His entire face screws up, even more confused. “Lucky?”

“How many people get to say they fell in love with the same person twice?”

Chan blinks twice before it feels like his entire body thaws.

You and your glass half full attitude. He’ll never fucking get enough of it.

His arms wrap around you again, bringing you down into his chest. You let out a breathy giggle

“You’re never leaving my sight,” he breathes out. “Never again, baby, never.”

“I don’t ever want to, Channie. I never will.”

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adestayskz · 24 days

Text

Sorry, I Love You | Masterlist

pairing: Jeongin x fem reader

genre/warnings: smau, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au, friends to lovers, unrequited love, will they, won’t they dynamic, abusive relationship, alcohol abuse/alcoholism, emotional/psychological abuse

pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

summary: Jeongin is in love with his best friend and he has been ever since he met her back in high school. He’s not sure how Y/n feels about him and in order to persevere their friendship, it’s a secret he keeps to himself. But when Y/n starts showing interest in one of their new neighbors, Jeongin starts to worry about the future of their relationship.

status: in progress

taglist: closed!

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

Parts:

Profiles & extras: leads | ensemble | extras | age order | playlist

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20 (fin)

—

Buy me a coffee?

299 notes · View notes

adestayskz · 1 month

Text

can’t get you off my mind

all good love stories start with a drunk stranger, don’t they?

warnings: mentions of alcohol, fem!reader

genre: fluff, comfort

word count: 4k

it starts at a bar.

or really, it starts with a man at a bar. one that you’ve seen before in passing, a familiar face in a sea of more familiar faces. someone who you’ll later learn is one third of your best friend changbin’s production team, someone who you should have met years ago probably, someone who you would find is the perfect puzzle piece that fits into your jagged edges.

but right now, he is just a man at a bar with a beer in hand and a ridiculously dopey smile on his face.

“marry me, please,” he says, absolutely serious but it’s a bit diluted from the way his words were slurred around the edges. “or i’ll have to kidnap you.”

“excuse me?” you raise a brow at him, his image swimming a bit as you turn your head to fully take him in. you’re not drunk, but youre a couple glasses of wine deep and you’re not known for being fully articulate whilst sober anyways.

“i swear i’m going to marry you,” he says, eyes wide as he looks at you. “you might be the most perfect person i’ve ever seen.”

you’re not overly fond of men you haven’t met hitting on you, but this one seems a bit harmless. if you ignored the part where he said he would kidnap you. at least he wasn’t grabbing onto you or trying to touch you - that would have sent your fist flying towards his face and probably a swift exit from the bar. it was a little weird that you didn’t find him weird, but in retrospect you must have known, even then.

“okay, listen,” you put your hands on your hips, giving him an unimpressed look. “if you find me when you’re sober, ask me again and maybe i’ll reconsider.”

“okay,” he nods, hair moving along with his movement like a puppy’s ears. “i can do that. i’ll find you, i promise. i’m gonna marry you, did you know?”

“so i’ve heard,” you roll your eyes, already feeling a bit fond about him. you didn’t think you’d meet him again, but you were sure that you’d look at this night with a fond smile later.

he sends you the brightest smile you think you’ve ever seen on a person and scampers off, and you stand rooted to that one sticky spot in the bar for longer than you want to admit.

–

he’s in the back of your mind when you wake up the next morning, in a better mood than most - you never liked waking up early, it always took you a good hour and some coffee to be able to stand without grimacing. this morning though, you float around your apartment as you get dressed with a small smile on your face.

a cute stranger who kept his boundaries and called you perfect? that wasn’t something that happened often, at least not to you.

the floatiness followed you all the way through your morning routine until you found your feet stopping outside the coffee shop that you and changbin all but owned. you had no stock in it, but you’re sure that you supply them at least half of their revenue, you probably sit on their rickety chairs more often than your actual couch at home. this place has nursed you through every college class and job interview preparations and beyond, and if it ever closed you might lose time off of your life span.

your movements from the door to the counter to your usual seat were robotic, muscle memory taking over while your head did somersaults through the clouds. it’s only when you take the first sip of coffee, the bitterness and heat hitting your tongue in a delightful dance, that you notice it.

another man is sitting next to changbin. a man that looks awfully familiar, and it takes you a moment to realize why. it’s the man from the bar.

“changbin?” you keep your eyes on the other man as you direct your question at changbin, trying hard to keep your face neutral. “explain?”

“i’m chan,” the man interjects before changbin can answer, reaching his hand across the table for you to shake. it’s warm, his grip somewhere perfectly in the middle of too hard and too soft, and he lets go after an appropriate amount of seconds. despite the neutral passivity of the gesture, you feel something ignite within you, and it threatens to sputter out when you catch no spark of recognition in his eyes. was he that drunk last night that he doesn’t remember you? do his sober eyes not find you as perfect?

“he crashed at my place last night,” changbin’s voice filters through your turmoil, and you finally break away from chan’s gaze to level him with a look. “and he needed coffee, so i brought him along. chan, this is y/n, my best friend.”

the conversation that followed flowed more freely than the coffee dripping from the machines behind the counter, and you almost hate how much you like it. chan is a little goofy, the man from the previous night shining through moments of seriousness and rapt attention.

by the time you had to leave to go to work you felt like you knew him. you learned where he lived (close to you!), that he worked with changbin (he’s a producer!), and that he loved all animals but he adored dogs (he has one named berry!). just an hour of casual conversation had led to you needing more of him in every aspect of your life, but still in the back of your head lived the thought of him not remembering you from the night before.

changbin leaves first, citing some meeting he had to run to in the middle of a yawn, and when you were left with chan the embarrassment began to set in.

“i’m going to marry you,” he blurts out, startling you so much you almost jump out of your seat.

“what?” you ask, a mixture of surprise and disbelief combining into a confusing vortex within your head - was he going to go through this again? you didn’t know if your heart could take it.

“i mean, i remember you,” he says before you could awkwardly excuse yourself and commit to getting to work early for the first time in a year just to escape being in a room alone with him for much longer. “i’m sorry, i was just embarrassed. i didn’t want to make a fool out of myself in front of changbin.”

“oh,” your breath leaves you all at once and you slump into your chair, understanding hitting you like a train. “that makes sense? i think?”

“i’m going to marry you,” he repeats, a mischievous glint in his eyes, the boy from last night shining through. “one day. i’m going to do it.”

“take me on a date first,” you tease back, a genuine smile stretching across your lips when he laughs, a full bodied thing that drew in eyes from the patrons across the room. for once, you didn’t seem to care that others’ eyes were on you. he made you feel comfortable.

“what are you doing tomorrow?” his mouth turns upwards into a beautiful smile that you can’t help but return.

“eager, are we?” you open your phone, sliding it across the table with the new contact page open on it. “i’m free.”

“you’re the most perfect person i’ve ever laid eyes on,” he says, as serious and genuine as the way he had proposed to you last night as he taps his number into your phone. “sorry if i’m a bit desperate.”

“don’t apologize,” you take your phone back, making a mental note to text him later. “i like it, for some unearthly reason. you’re cute, chan.”

the sound of his delighted laugh follows your footsteps all the way to work.

—

he picks you up for your first date at noon, right on the dot. he wasn’t a minute late, a polite knock sounding through your apartment just as the hour turned, as if he had been waiting and watching the time outside the door.

god, is everything about this man endearing?

he’s wearing shorts and a light sweater, looking like something out of a posh magazine. his hair is curly and swept off his forehead and he’s wearing a smile with the most adorable dimples shining through.

he leads you to his car and you have to hold back an impressed whistle. you knew changbin and his team did well for themselves, the name 3racha all over the credits of songs on the radio, but this car was nice. you were going to have a talk with changbin about why he still drove the same beat up sedan he’s had since college but that was a thought for later. right now all you wanted to think about was the man who held the door open for you to slide into the passenger seat and was now holding your hand over the middle console.

“do i get to know where we’re going?” you ask, peering at the map open on his phone but it tells you nothing more than that your destination was 15 minutes away and that he had to make a right turn in one mile.

“it’s a surprise,” he says, voice a little nervous but it was masked with excitement. wherever he was taking you, you would be happy to be there if he was this happy the whole time.

four songs on the radio later, one of which you teased him for when he revealed that he wrote it, he was pulling into a parking lot illuminated by flashing colorful lights. he had brought you to the fair.

“i’ve never been to the fair!” you bounced a little in your seat, wriggling in excitement. “i’ve always wanted to go, how did you know?”

“lucky guess?” he shrugs, avoiding your gaze as he cuts the engine and unbuckles his seatbelt.

“changbin told you, didn’t he,” you smile at the thought of chan asking his friend about what you’d like. it was cute, a word that you were probably exhausting when thinking about him even after a day of knowing him.

“yes, but,” he flushes, the tips of his ears burning red. “i asked him after i had decided to come here, just to make sure it was a good idea. i didn’t steal it from him.”

“hey, it’s okay,” you squeeze his hand in yours that he had yet to let go of in what you hoped was a comforting gesture. you didn’t know what brought him calmness yet, but you wanted to learn. you wanted to learn everything about him. “now, take me to the fair, bang chan. i was promised a date.”

he finally meets your eyes again and he’s grinning so happily that you feel like you had just won a prize. who needed a fair when you had your very own carnival game right here?

it turns out, you did. by the time the sun was beginning to set, your arms were full of various plushies that chan had won for you, each one earning him a hug and a kiss to his cheek. you treasured every single one, the fluttering in your chest when he stepped up to the booths to throw and shoot various things never ceasing.

“let’s go to the ferris wheel,” you tug at him with your free hand, thanking the skies when you see no queue there. “i bet the sunset looks beautiful from the top.”

he’s quiet when he follows you there and into the carriage, his thigh pressing against yours as he slides in next to you, but you don’t notice in your excitement. it isn’t until the wheel ticks to the top and stops that he grabs your hand again, trembling a little.

“chan? are you okay?” you ask, concern warping your voice as you turn towards him. your movement rocks the carriage a bit and he turns pale, ducking his head into your neck to hide.

“yeah, ‘m okay,” he murmurs, his eyelashes ticking your skin when he blinks his eyes shut. “just don’t like heights very much.”

“oh my god, why didn’t you tell me?” you cry out, jumping a bit and regretting it when you rock the carriage again. “nevermind that, what can i do? it’ll go down soon, you’ll be alright.”

“just keep holding my hand?” he squeezes your fingers lightly and your heart melts. you may have made a joke that he was just trying to trick you into holding his hand any other time, but the fear in his shaking body was real and you’d never tease him for that.

“of course,” you press a kiss to his hair, moving your other hand slowly to wrap around your intertwined fingers. the wheel begins to turn again, swaying the carriage as it descends. you keep your grip on his hand tight the entire time, all the way until you’re on your feet again on steady ground.

“i’m so sorry,” you begin to say, the horror of subjecting him to his fear creeping up now that the crisis has passed.

“i’m going to marry you,” he says, cutting off your apology and lifting your hands to his mouth so he could press a kiss to the back of yours. “no one’s ever been able to keep me that calm. thank you.”

you were left speechless after that and all you could do was smile at him, the ghost of it not leaving your face for the rest of the night.

–

your thirty first date with chan ends with you crying into changbin’s arms, utterly confused and the feeling of despair creeping up your veins. you had met him your cafe as you had done several times since the fair, but when you arrived he wasn’t there. he came late, dark storms in his eyes and a hard set to his jaw and you didn’t understand what had made him like that. the usual smile and twinkle in his eyes were missing, and when you and asked him about what was wrong he had snapped at you in a way you hadn’t been talked to in years.

you had left after that, brushing him off when his eyes had widened and he reached for you while calling out your name. you know that you should have given him a chance to explain, but at the time you were too hurt to consider it.

you made your way to changbin’s apartment without thinking, your feet taking you to safety before your head could catch up. changbin had taken one look at your face before wrapping you up in his arm, walking you to his couch so he could cuddle you properly while words spilled out of you like a leaky faucet. you felt like you were back in college, crying and blubbering over a boy who had rejected you at a party, and you hated it.

you didn’t notice changbin sending an angry text to chan, but the sound of changbin’s door opening with a bang startled you out of your tears. chan bursts in like a whirlwind, his hair sticking up at weird angles and a look of panic on his face as he takes you in. he reaches the couch in a few strides and falls to his knees in front of you, holding a crumpled bag from the cafe in his hand and taking your cheek gently into his other. his thumb wipes at the tear tracks there and you could practically taste the guilt emanating off of him.

“love, i am so sorry,” he starts, ignoring changbin when he scoffs at the apology. “i shouldn’t have snapped at you, i had no right to do that. i got some bad news this morning and i wasn’t feeling my best, and i should have been honest with you. i’ll never do anything like that again, please forgive me? i’ll do anything.”

it was more his voice than his words that did it - he sounded so desperate, like he was trying to hold

onto a ledge that was crumbling, threatening to hurl his body into eternal nothingness. you knew him, you knew he was sorry, and against your first instinct you trusted him when he said he wouldn’t do it again.

“is that an almond croissant?” you eye the bag in his hand.

“it’s two almond croissants,” he nods fervently, his hair swishing back and forth with the movement. you sit up, sliding out of changbin’s arms and onto the floor in front of chan. chan’s arms replace changbin’s easily when you lean into him, and it feels like coming home.

“it’s not like i have a nice couch you could be sitting on,” changbin mutters as he leaves, shaking his head fondly at the two of you before making himself scarce.

chan kisses you, cradling your head gently into his hands, and they’re so warm. he slides his lips against yours, slowly like he’s taking his time memorizing the planes of your mouth to commit to memory. even after kissing him dozens of times you still find new things to learn about each other.

“i swear,” he says, pulling away to meet your eyes. “i’m going to marry you, someday.”

“keep getting me croissants as apologies and we’ll see,” you say, sniffling into his neck.

—

your eighty seventh date was spent in your bed, your head spinning like both hands on a clock simultaneously and your body exuding more sweat than you ever have.

chan is wringing out a cool cloth to place on your forehead and it feels so nice that you moan.

“i’m sorry,” you mutter, and chan has lost count of the amount of times you’ve said it at this point. “we had a date and i ruined it.”

“we were going to see a movie,” he says, running a hand up and down your spine. “and we will. we don’t need a movie theater when we have a screen right here, hmm?”

“but the popcorn,” you complain, closing your eyes in bliss when he runs a hand through your hair, scratching gently at your scalp. an apology for being so sweaty was at the tip of your tongue but you hold it back in favor of enjoying the feeling of his touch.

“i’ll make you all the popcorn you want when you’re feeling better,” he promises, dropping a kiss to the side of your head. “for now, how does soup sound?”

“popcorn soup?“ you ask, a wave of dizziness taking over your body; if you weren’t lying down already, you’re sure that too would be falling over.

“yeah, baby,” and even in your delirium the fondness in his voice was prominent. he couldn’t hide it even if he tried. “i’ll make you some popcorn soup. get some rest okay?”

you’re asleep before he leaves the room, and you only wake up when he shakes your shoulder a bit and helps you into an upright position. he feeds you bites of what is definitely not popcorn soup after putting a movie on your laptop, the screen sitting at the foot of your bed. the both of you fall asleep before the movie finishes, but you don’t mind.

he stays with you for days, making you soup and tea and toast and feeding you medicine and being an all-around angel as he nurses you back to health. by the time you’re better you think you’ve fallen back in love with him several times.

as you had expected and warned him about, he catches your sickness the next week, and now it’s your turn to be his nurse. you try and do the same job he did, but his delirium seems worse. the silver lining is that his fever isn’t as bad, so you’re babysitting a babbling boyfriend more than a sick one.

the night before his fever breaks is the worst, since he doesn’t even recognize you. you shake your head at his silliness when he asks who you are and calls you pretty. you smile when he takes your hand in his and asks you to come closer.

you tear up when he tells you that he has a girlfriend that he loves very much and so even though you’re pretty he can’t do anything else because his girlfriend is the prettiest one in the whole world. you let a tear slip when he tells you that he can’t wait to propose to his girlfriend and that he’s going to marry her someday.

you tell him that you have a boyfriend that you're going to marry someday, trusting that he wouldn’t remember it in the morning.

—

your hundredth and fifth date was not unlike your fifth, or your tenth, or your ninetieth. two and a half years later, you were just as endeared by him and he was just as obsessed with you - even more so, if it were possible.

he takes the time to tell you how gorgeous you look when he picks you up just like he does on every date, and you hide your disgustingly fond smile for him behind his back like you do every time you see him.

he parks and runs around the car to let you out like he does every time you habit this restaurant, a little fancier than your usual best but it was a favorite of the both of yours - across the street from the bar the two of you had met at.

you start walking before he does, letting him jog to meet you and complain about how you left him, just like you do every time. before him. you might have thought the monotony would have gotten tiring, but he had a fantastical ability to make every moment feel like the first despite their practiced nature.

he calls your name from behind you right on schedule and you hum in acknowledgement, turning towards him absentmindedly. the second you lay eyes on him you’re completely alert, though; he isn’t jogging after you, but rather he’s kneeling on the sidewalk, a small box in his hands as he smiles up at you.

“i’ve told you that i’m going to marry you more times than i can count,” he starts, eyes shining like the stars twinkling in the night sky above you. “but this time i’m asking you.”

“chan,” you choke out, hands coming up to cover your mouth as it quivers. tears spring to your eyes and you silently curse yourself - you always thought you’d be level headed when you got proposed to, but nothing could have prepared you for this, not even the thousands of declarations he had made to you prior.

“i love you. you’re the only one in the entire universe that i need more than blood or breath, you’re the song that runs through my heart and the fire that leads my path when i’m lost,” his voice is thick, like he’s trying to hold back his emotions long enough to get his words out. “i never thought that i would feel so strongly for someone, i never thought that i deserved a love like this until i met you.”

he pauses as you walk closer to him, letting you approach him before he continues.

“my love, my eternal light,” he’s tearing up now, blinking fast to keep the salty water at bay. “will you marry me?”

“chan,” you start, kneeling down next to him and taking his wrists in your hands. “i never told you this, but ever since that first day i knew. i knew that the drunk idiot that was hitting on me would be my husband.”

he chuckles, smiling delightedly as the tears finally spring from both of your eyes in unison.

“so?” he trails off, searching your face with his eyes, waiting.

“oh!” you tighten your grip on him in an apology. “of course i’ll marry you, gosh i love you so much.”

2K notes · View notes

adestayskz · 1 month

Text

A MODERN LOVE STORY.

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

When your tinder date who was supposed to be just a hook up becomes your boyfriend within a week.

pairing: han jisung x f!reader genre/tags: pwp, smut, fluff, jisung is such a gentleman, fingering, oral (m receiving), piv, unprotected sex (wrap before u tap), major size kink, slight daddy kink (not surprised), jisung has huge dick, jisung cums on readers face, i think that's it Imk if i missed any o_0 words: 4.5k

**old repost from my deleted blog

Dating apps were never really your thing, you’ve always been an “old fashioned” kind of girl. You’ve secretly dreamt of meeting your lover in a grocery store or bumping into them at a library where you instantly fall in love. Unfortunately, you can’t be delusional forever, your Prince Charming isn’t going to just come knocking for you at your doorstep. Unless…you find someone who can come to your doorstep but through an app, Tinder. You decided to give it a try and see what all the hype was about after your best friend Ryujin raved about all the hot guys she was meeting— and banging.

You often found yourself quite jealous of all the good sex she was getting, she could have anything she wanted all at her fingertips. You were always horny and looking for the next toy to play with but you decided maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to try and find a cute guy to hook up with and relieve some quick stress. You may be old fashioned but you weren’t too uptight to have a hook up once in a while.

You downloaded Tinder for once in your lifetime and wrote in all your info, chose your best photos, and made a silly little bio. Your bio was just ‘looking for a fun time, need someone who can break my back, not my heart’ you know it super lame but most guys like corny shit like that anyway. You swiped for ages and ages, barely giving anyone a right swipe because you were way too picky. They had to be top tier in the visual department even if they were just a one night stand, you’ll always have standards. You were getting tired of swiping and just about to call it a night up until you swiped on the next profile. His name was Han and he only lived 2.5 miles from you.

As you were scrolling through his profile, you couldn’t stop thinking how hot he was, his hair was blonde, and he always wore the same cross necklace in his all photos. You read his profile some more and saw that he has a dog named Bbama and you smiled at how adorable his dog was. You instantly swiped right after seeing the dog pics and you couldn’t believe you matched with him already. Your heart kind of skipped a beat for a second and you closed the app immediately. You didn’t think he’d be so quick to match with you and you wanted to message him but your pride got in the way. You figured he’s way too fine to even message you back, he probably gets floods of messages from girls asking. You decide to play it cool and not say anything, instead you took a screenshot of his profile and sent it to Ryujin.

She texts you back a couple minutes later and says she thinks he’s really hot, you’re glad she approves but you’re not surprised that she wouldn’t. You go through his profile again and see that he has his Instagram linked to his Tinder, you go to his Instagram account and continue your stalking spree. You see a bunch of pics of his dog, food, and mostly outdoorsy stuff. You didn’t figure him to be the wilderness type of guy but he was, he’s been hiking all over different mountains and has photos of him at the very top. You were in awe of how fearless this man was, you were swayed already by how he presented himself.

Your phone buzzes with a new notification.

‘Han sent you a message’ Tinder alerts you of 2 new notifications from him. You open the messages immediately, a huge grin plastered on your face as you read what he said to you.

‘Hi y/n’

‘What’s your favorite food?’

‘I’m taking notes on where I need to take you on our first date’

That was very smooth but also straightforward, you liked him already.

‘Pho, I could eat it everyday’

‘You’re already planning our date? lol’

You sent the messages and texted Ryujin straight away, telling her how much of a success this was already going. She tells you how much she was right all along and how you’ve been missing out this whole time, you just giggle at her shenanigans.

You get another notification from Tinder and it’s from your favorite new guy already.

‘Yes, how could I not? You’re a 10/10’

You smile to yourself when reading at that comment, you never really saw yourself as a perfect 10 but if someone this highly attractive sees you that way then you must be a smokeshow. Han sends you another message,

‘I can pick you up tmrw at 5? Dinner is on me babe so no need to bring a wallet ;)’

You bit your lip at that last sentence, who would’ve known someone this sexy could be your sugar daddy AND fuck buddy? Ok well maybe the sugar daddy part was just a joke. It definitely turned you on knowing that he’s willing to spend his money on you without you feeling guilt about it though.

‘See you at 5 <3’ you reply to him.

The very next day you’re in the car going to your date with Han. The moment you laid eyes on him there was a lustful nature that came out of you. You didn’t even think it could be possible but he looked even better in person, the pictures didn’t do him justice whatsoever. His jawline was insane, it was sharp and looked absolutely perfect from his side profile. His hair was a little messy but in a really cute way, he had a small silver stud in his ear and wore his cross necklace like the one in his photos. You couldn’t believe it was really him in your driveway, he had to be the most beautiful you’ve ever seen. He wore a plain black T-shirt with baggy jeans and converse, he looked effortlessly cool. He was driving with one hand on the wheel and the other was playing with his radio. He was trying to get the Aux cord to work properly but it just wasn’t cooperating with him, he decides to just leave it alone.

“So uh.. anyway is this your first Tinder date?” He asks trying to break the awkward silence.

“Yeah, actually it is,” you tell him “I’m not the hugest fan of dating apps but I decided why not give it a shot.” You say as your shrug your shoulders.

“Ah I see, well you met me so that’s a good sign so far right?” He asks with a goofy grin on his face, you couldn’t help but giggle at his quirkiness.

You talk for a bit more in the car and get to know each other, as you’re getting nearer to the destination he comes to a stop into a parking lot. He gets out of the car first and opens the door for you on your side.

“M’lady,” Han says in a funny voice, taking your hand in his as you get out the car. You’re loving his silly and fun energy so far, it’s definitely bringing your mood up as you had no expectations for how this would go.

The date ended up going extremely well, you both couldn’t stop laughing and cracking jokes together. Everything felt super lighthearted and easygoing with Han, you felt like you could say just about anything with him, feeling like you’ve known him for much longer than a couple of hours. He bought so much expensive meat for the both of you at the restaurant and the pho was fantastic. You’ve never been to this particular restaurant before as it was a bit too out of your price range, you were surprised when he told you he ate here frequently. You wanted to ask him what he does for a living but you don’t want to seem rude. You ate as much as you could and he definitely ate way more than you, lightly making fun at the way you eat. You do eat pretty slow so you aren’t shocked by the way he’s noticing that already.

You like the way Han eats because he stores food in his cheeks like a squirrel, usually that action would give you the ick but with him you find it quite endearing. Once you both finish eating at the restaurant he takes you to a pier where there’s pretty lights near the water. It was a nice day to go out on a walk so he grabbed your hand and led the way down the path. You guys talked so much for hours about any and everything, you talked for so long that you ended up watching the sunset together, then looked at the stars. When you looked down and noticed that you’ve been holding hands with him this whole time, but you didn’t want to point it out to Han incase he’d let go.

You’ve spent a total of only 5 hours with this man but you really do feel as though you’ve known him your whole life. He was so fun to talk to, handsome, and literally the sweetest person ever, it made you question how someone this perfect could even be single. You really couldn’t wait any longer for him to end up in your bed tonight and that’s exactly what you planned to happen. As the night progresses you ask him if he wants to come back to your place for the night. He looks surprised yet obliges and drives back to your apartment. It was pretty late at night and you only had your tiny lamp in the kitchen on, so you couldn’t see much of where you were going. You turn around to face Han who’s been staring you up and down this whole time.

You didn’t even have much time to take off your jacket before Han’s lips were all over yours. His hands roamed all over your body and yours were now tangled in his messy blonde hair. He startles you for a second when he picks you up and lifts you onto the marble kitchen countertop, not breaking the kiss once. He bites down on your lower lip slightly, making you gasp so he can easily slip his tongue in you. His movements were gentle and he kisses you so passionately, one of his hands comes up behind your neck and the other is stroking the apex of your thigh. As you both pull away from kissing, he stops to stare at you for the longest second.

“You are so beautiful y/n,” he says, stroking your hair and tucking some behind your ear, then he kisses your ear and licks it. He continues peppering a few more kisses downwards and to your neck, beginning to suck lightly, causing you to let out a quiet moan. He leaves a couple small hickies around your neck and kisses your lips once again. You tug at his T-shirt and motion for him to take it off, he does as he’s told and removes it from his body. You get a faint look at his chest since it’s a such little bit of light in the kitchen, from what you can see however, he looks perfect. When he comes closer, you can feel his rock solid abs, you know he works out but you weren’t expecting him to be this fit.

You go back to making out for awhile and his hands are now laid on your chest. He cups both of your boobs in his hands and kneads them through your thin shirt, he realizes this isn’t enough for him so he slides his hands underneath your shirt. He ran his fingers against your nipples and starts to pinch them lightly, making you moan directly into his mouth. He groans when you bring your hand lower to his pelvis, trying to locate his belt so you can tell him to take it off. You finally reach something you presume to be leather and you grab it, bringing his body closer to you in the process.

“You want me to take this off huh?” Han asks, pointing to his belt but all you see is his erect dick print through his jeans.

You nod your head profusely, “yes pleasee, right now!”

He grins at you while slowly taking off his belt, throwing it down on the floor and now he’s stroking his cock through his pants. You hear him groan a little bit as you can see him palming himself, wanting to take him in your mouth so bad.

“Let me give you head,” you say almost desperately, you didn’t mean for it to sound so needy but you really wanted— no needed his cock.

“Okay,” he says smiling back at you, “sounds great to me.”

You get up from the kitchen counter and now position yourself on the floor, on your knees. You never pictured yourself to be the one sucking a random guy off Tinder’s dick but hey, things just so happen to turn out that way. You unzip Han’s pants and gently pull them down, he was wearing pink supreme boxers and you expected nothing less from him. You pull down his boxers too and his erect cock springs up out of them like a slinky. Eyes growing wide in awe as you couldn’t wait for his giant, thick cock to go into your mouth. You start to stroke his length and realize that one hand won’t be enough to do the job, you have to use two to get a good firm grasp around it and even then it’s still a few inches off.

You contemplate how you’re even going to fit all of him into your mouth but you think of the consequences later. You continue pumping his cock with your hands and he moans lowly under his breath. You lick the tip of his cock and he winces a little, that must be his sensitive spot. You suck on the tip and guide your mouth to slowly take in more of his cock, keeping a suction-tight grip on him as you keep lowering your head. You get to a point where you start to physically choke and gag on his cock, your saliva was getting everywhere now, all over your chin, your chest, his cock, and some even spilled on the floor. You know you have to be a good girl and take all of him but you never had someone this big before.

“You have such a nice dick,” you blurt out while taking a break, wanting to please him more than anything.

“Thank you baby,” Han smiles down at you while you bring his cock back into your mouth, this time breathing through your nose you have a better chance at taking him all. You were successful and managed to get most of it inside your mouth, maybe just a couple centimeters off. You kept at it, sucking his cock like your life literally depended on it, shooting your head back and forth making you feel dizzy.

“Mmm yeah… that’s it baby… just like that-” Han moans out for you with his eyes closed shut and head thrown back, you’re making him feel so good right now.

“I think I’m gonna cum y/n…”

You continue what you’ve been doing for the past 15 minutes or so, sucking his cock at an even faster rate. You look up at him and give him a sultry look with your eyes, you need to feel his cum all over you.

“Please cum on my face daddy,” you tell him, you used to let your ex cum on your face all the time and you were craving for that kind of thing at the moment. You keep deepthroating him and making gagging noises in the process, wanting him to know just how hard you’re working for his cum. He lets out a long moan and keeps saying he’s about to cum, you tap his dick on your tongue so you can get a taste of his load shooting out and then… you suddenly go blind. Han’s load comes out so fast that it got everywhere, causing some of it to get into your eye. You couldn’t see for a bit and rubbed your eye, feeling a thick, sticky substance on your left cheek. Han’s cum was now painted all over your face, some even got on your shoulder and landed on the floor. You smiled at how much cum you caused to come out his dick, feeling awfully proud of yourself.

You get up from your knees and start kissing again, he brings you back to the counter you were originally sitting on and he toys with the waistband of your skirt. He pulls your skirt down and begins rubbing your pussy through your underwear, dragging his fingers along your slit and teasing you. You whimper as you buck your hips up, wanting to feel his fingers on your clit. He finally moves your panties to the side and starts rubbing his middle finger against your swollen clit.

“Damn, you’re wet as fuck…” he says, looking at your glistening, wet pussy. He circles your clit and spits on it, mixing your juices with his saliva. He then dips his finger inside your hole, you let out a moan as he starts pushing his finger in and out. The sound of his fingers going in your wet pussy sound so dirty yet so blissful. He kisses you as he keeps fingering you, spreading you open with another finger. You’re such a moaning mess and it’s all thanks to Han’s wonderful fingers. You were arching your back at the sensation you were feeling, his thumb is now rubbing your clit while two of his fingers are still inside. You wanted his cock so badly, but you were going to have to ask nicely for it.

“I need you…” you whine to Han, you don’t know why you were too shy to say what you needed the most though.

“Need what baby?” He asks with his fingers still deep inside your sopping cunt, you were aching for something bigger and it’s making you go crazy.

“Your cock… need your cock, please!” You practically beg at this point for it. Han’s smile grew wider as he saw how needy you were already acting for him.

“As you wish pretty girl,” he says, taking his fingers out and licking the juices off of them one by one. He takes his cock in his hand and rubs it along your folds, he feels how soaking wet you are and it’s already enough to make him want to burst. He doesn’t think he’s a fast cummer (is that a word?) but for you, he’d nut instantly. He slides his thick, long cock into your little pussy, making you audibly gasp in pain and pleasure.

The size of him is enough to make you want to never be able to walk again, but you think once he’s done with you he’ll be leaving you permanently bed ridden.

“Just relax baby, you can take it all trust me..” Han assures you as he continues to slide his length inside, your wetness mixed with the sounds of his dick makes for the perfect porn audio. Your legs were spreading wide open and rested on his shoulders, he was taking nice and slow strokes at first. He wants you to become more adjusted to his size, he’s finally able to get all of himself in. You look down at your stomach to see a giant bulge, his cock was so big that he practically took up half of your torso.

“Ready baby?” Han whispers in your ear, asking for the okay to start thrusting deeper into you. You nod as you were finally getting used to him, he goes a little faster and starts to build a steady pace. His cock is hitting the back of your walls nicely and you feel every inch of him inside you. The cross necklace he was still wearing dangled over you, which was pretty ironic for the sinful act you two were committing at the moment. Wrapping your arms around his neck as he moves deeper into you, stretching you out like the little whore you are. You feel yourself growing wetter with each thrust and he’s grabbing your waist tightly with both hands.

“Your pussy feels so fucking good… my god..” Han says moaning, his eyes are closed again as he keeps fucking your tight pussy. You took his cock so well, you were so proud of yourself.

“Your cock feels amazing daddy,” you whimper out to him as you continue moaning his name, feeling like you’re about to cum already. Han’s breath becomes more irregular and his strokes are getting messier, you can tell he’s reaching his climax as well.

“Let’s cum together.” Han coaxes, holding your hand while fucking into you, his cock fits all the way inside without hurting you now and all you feel is immense pleasure. You nod your head in agreement with him and focus on reaching your high. A wave of ecstasy washes over you as Han hits a certain spot in you, his dick is so big that it can reach little places you never felt before, it’s an incredible feeling. Your head swings back as you feel your orgasm approaching, you let out a few curse words and catch your breath. Han feels his release coming too and quickly pulls out, he pumps his cock for a little bit with his right hand and watches his load shoot out onto your stomach. He lets out an erotic groan as he finishes off his last bit of cum and strokes his cock a little more.

“Fuck that was the best sex I’ve ever had..” Han says while panting, grabbing your face to pull into you a breathless kiss.

“Yeah, that was definitely amazing,” you respond after pulling away, smiling at his first impressions of you.

It was now midnight and you were both exhausted, you two were too fucked out to do anything else and Han was way too tired to head home that night. You didn’t mind Han staying over at your place, to be honest, it felt pretty normal. As you both got into bed he gave you tons of forehead kisses and cradled you to sleep, his embrace felt safe and protecting. You never wanted to leave his presence and neither did he.

It was the early hours of the morning and the sun is beaming on your face through the sheer white curtains. You wake up to a familiar smell coming from your kitchen, it was the smell of eggs and pancakes cooking. You put on some clothes quickly to head to your kitchen, you see Han in nothing but his underwear cooking you breakfast. You looked at the clock and saw that it was only 7:04 am, how is he already awake at this time of the morning? You make your way on over to him and give him a chaste kiss, telling him good morning. He finishes up cooking and grabs some plates for the both of you. You couldn’t believe your eyes right now, your Tinder date that you just hooked up with last night is now cooking you breakfast. You want to feel like you’re living in a dream but the more you keep blinking the more real this situation feels.

“Ready to eat babe?” Han asks, handing you a plate full of food. You nod, still trying to process everything that’s going on but you don’t want to keep questioning it. You sit at the table with Han and eat your food. You both talk as though everything is normal, still making little jokes with each other like yesterday’s date. The food he made was pretty good and you were wondering what other hidden skills he may have been hiding. You’re now questioning what could be wrong with him since he’s so perfect, why hasn’t someone like him not been snatched up yet? As you finish eating you head back upstairs, Han follows you.

“What’re you doing?” You ask him, turning around to face him in confusion.

“Im just following where you’re going,” he admits sheepishly.

“But why?” You genuinely want to know why he’s considered still being here and isn’t fleeing after finally getting what he wanted.

“I want to stay here for a while,” he says while looking away at something else, he was a bit shy to ask if he could stay over for another day.

“For how long?” You ask, wondering if he’s serious about his infatuation with you.

“I- I don’t know, can I just stay for one more night? Please y/n?” He holds your hand, gently caressing and rubbing it.

You feel conflicted, on one hand you want someone you can feel connected to on a deeper level but the other hand is making you want to keep this relationship as no strings attached. You sigh as you see the glint in his eyes, his eyes were all it took for you to give into him.

“Okay” you say, he smiles as he hears your swift response. He presses a soft kiss against your lips and lets you lead the way back to your room.

Four days have passed and Han is still staying in your apartment with you. You decided you didn’t actually hate his company and that it was just the fear of commitment that made you reluctant. Han was different though, he brought a side out of you that no one else has. He brings you flowers, makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, listens to your problems/needs/wants/desires, shuts up when he’s supposed to, and does anything you say at the drop of a hat.

He’s the perfect guy for you and you met him on something you wouldn’t have tried if it wasn’t for your best friend. You’re still in shock by how you and Han are basically in a relationship now, I mean who stays at someone’s house for almost a week if they weren’t falling in love? You should be happy yet you’re nervous, you’re nervous about telling Ryujin, what if she thinks you’re moving too fast? You didn’t tell anyone about this “relationship” yet since you’ve never rushed into things this quickly with someone.

Han was a great person and you knew that with every fiber of your being, you just didn’t know if others would see that through just a few days of talking. You know you’re going to have to do it at some point since you’re actually thinking about getting serious with him. Han has been nothing more than amazing to you and if everyone else doesn’t see that then they’re crazy, you can’t convince everyone to like him but you start to feel as though it won’t be an issue for him. You think he’ll fit in just fine with everyone in due time ♡

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adestayskz · 1 month

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PAPER RINGS

yang jeongin x female!reader

✩ SYNOPSIS: an old friend of jisung’s comes back to seoul, transferring into jyp-u. she falls for one of his friends he made. y/n aka star has never believed in love at first sight until she met yang jeongin.

✩ PAIRING: yang jeongin x female! reader

✩ WARNING: suggestive themes, suicidal jokes, explicit content, problems with ex, mentally abusive ex, not so good relationship with family

✩ GENRE: smau, fluff, angst, smut, written, love at first sight, crack, college au

✩ NOTES: i’ll try to post once or twice a week, depending on how work is and if it’ll be stressful or beat my ass.

[star’s pimps✨] [annoying friends👎]

[others]

01: coming back

02: who is that fine ass guy?

03: visitation rights

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adestayskz · 1 month

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Happy Place - [ Han Jisung ]

🐿 SYNOPSIS : A place from your dreams becomes a reality thanks to your boyfriend.

GENRE : fluff, established relationship

PAIRING : han jisung × fem!reader

CONTENT WARNING : slightly dark thoughts in the beginning but mostly fluff!!

WORD COUNT : 2K

AUTHOR'S NOTE : This is actually a place I think of very often. Hope you enjoy <3

You had grown accustomed to the dark thoughts that brewed in your mind when you sat alone without anything to do for too long. They plagued your dreams, morphing them into nightmares that caused you to wake up in a cold sweat every night, panting as if you had run a marathon. You were always falling down down down a deep dark hole, the sensation of light growing only ever growing far away, a distant place you could never reach as you tumbled down the rabbit hole. At one point in your life, you were sure you were destined for darkness. It pained you to see others so happy over the smallest of things when you couldn't find joy in anything. Life had become mundane. Waking up and willing yourself to go to work was a difficult task. You had lost interest in eating. Everything was just… dark.

That was when Han Jisung entered your life. You believed he was the universe's way of saying sorry for putting you through so much shit for character development. For the first time in your life, you found another human being you knew what you were talking about. Who knew what pain you were describing, what shadows lurked on your mind, and he was the perfect remedy because he too was like you. It was ludicrous how he knew exactly what to do for you. He knew when you needed a person to listen and he knew when all he had to do was be next to you and give you a big hug in the end (and he gave the best hugs).

You slowly began seeing the light again. Like the video tape of you falling down that dark tunnel was being rewinded. You woke up with a smile. You had a pep in your step. You started eating again, mostly due to the home dates you and your boyfriend had in your apartment late at night with takeout boxes on the coffee table and the two of you sprawled out on the leather couch watching TV. Little things like good morning texts made your heart flutter. You finally understood what all those romcom movies were talking about.

“Baby?” Jisung's voice came out, deep and tired as he rested on the couch next to you. Your bodies were almost always pressed together, always in touch like you were all he needed to charge up to face the next day. You always thought you weren't an affectionate and touchy person until Jisung. Or you believed you were only like this with him. He lifted his head from your shoulder to look you in the eyes to say his next words. “If you could be anywhere in the whole world right now, with anyone at all, where would you be?”

You blinked. “Anywhere at all?” You repeated, thinking on his words for a few moments, putting your head on his shoulder. “I would be… at my happy place. With you.”

“Your happy place?”

You nodded. “A place I think about when my thoughts get too overwhelming and I start losing sight of what's important.”

“Where is it?” He asked, brushing the air out of your face as he looked at you, brown eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“A lakeside cabin. Somewhere secluded. No noisy people. Surrounded by tall trees. A serene blue lake filled with colorful fishes.” You described.

“Wow, you put a lot of thought into it.” Jisung chuckled, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer. “And what we do there?” He asked, eyes set on you as he waited for you to tell him about your happy place. It truly seemed like it gave you joy, based on the way your eyes were shining with excitement to tell him all about it.

“Hmm… You could ask Minho to teach you how to fish and we could eat curry with what we caught. We could go onto the lake in a little paddle boat or we could go swimming in the afternoons.” A smile was growing on both your faces as you continued talking. “We could hang up fairy lights on the front porch of the cabin. And have a campfire at night, toasting marshmallows.”

“We could lay down some blankets and sleep underneath the stars.”

“I could teach you constellations.”

With every word you added, Jisung's heart swelled with more and more love for you. You could've talked about an extravagant place, going to fancy restaurants and exotic sightseeing locations. But you chose this simple, little dream. “And what would seal the deal hm?”

“You singing with your guitar underneath the stars. Just for me.”

“What song should I sing baby?”

“Rewrite the stars.” You replied almost instantly. “I think it describes the both of us perfectly.”

Jisung's throat got a little tight with emotion when he heard that. He swallowed back tears as you suggested the song. He often related that song with you, one lyric coming to his mind in particular — you'll be the one I was meant to find. “I would love to sing that song for you.” He said, voice cracking as he tried to conceal the intense feelings building inside him.

Your smile faltered when you noticed the tears pricking his eyes. “Ji… why are you crying?” You were worried you said something wrong, something to upset him. He seemed happy with your words until then, so what was wrong?

“It's nothing, I'm just…” He laughed softly. “I'm just imagining it... seeing myself sitting and singing while you're sitting there, listening.” You smiled at the revelation, relieved that they were the good kind of emotional tears. You placed your head back onto his shoulder as he squeezed you closer, a faint kiss pressed onto the side of your head as he held you.

Jisung's job offered very less time for the two of you to be together, so you relished the moments you had. A weekend rolled by a few weeks later, he had the two days off and he asked if the two of you could stay at his parent's house. You agreed to the idea because you loved his family and you were excited to meet them again after a long time.

“I can't wait to see Bbama again.” You chuckled at his words, placing your luggage in the trunk of your car and shutting it. His dog stayed with his parents because of his busy schedule, so he was always thrilled to go meet his proclaimed son after long. You also adored the white, fluffy Bichon Frise, he was always so energetic and lively — exactly like Jisung.

You got into the driver's seat and Jisung got in beside you. “Have everything?” You asked him.

“I think so —” He paused. “Oh wait, my coffee. I left it on the dining table.” He turned to you with those doe eyes you knew he knew you wouldn't be able to resist. “Baby… could you grab for me?” He asked, an innocent smile playing on his lips that only widened when you sighed in defeat and got out of the car. You came back with the thermos and placed it in the cup holder. “Did I ever tell you how much I love you?”

You rolled your eyes as you turned the engine on. “Oh, did you put the location in the GPS?”

“Yeah. Just have to follow that and we'll be there in about two hours.”

The car ride was fun. Jisung blasted his Spotify playlist, both of you belting out lyrics to the songs as you drove down the highway. Your brows furrowed when you took an exit and even more when you took another turn you swore wasn't on the route to your destination. “Ji… are you sure you put the location correctly?” You were almost one hundred percent certain when you had to take a left down a dirt road, tall trees looming on either side. The traffic from the highway died out behind you and you were pulled into a place of tranquility.

With a cheeky smile, Jisung replied, “Trust me, I know exactly where I'm leading you.” He took your hand and leaned his head back in his seat, eyes fixed on the road as a gentle smile played on his lips. “We're actually just a few minutes away from the place now,” He reassured you, his tone playful despite the calmness, just like he has been the entire drive.

You were unsure of his words but continued forward nonetheless… until the brown building came into view. “You didn't…” You had nearly forgotten telling your boyfriend about your dream place, but the memory of that conversation came crashing down as you pulled the car to a stop next to the cabin.

“I did.” He said in a matter of fact tone.

“How…” You stepped out of the car carefully, as if it were all an illusion that would fade away if you moved too fast. Your breath hitched as you took in the view. It was almost exactly how you imagined it. A big deep blue lake stretched out in front of you, the sunlight reflecting on the surface making it sparkle. A dock was nestled to the right, a paddle boat secured to a pole. As you took more steps in front, your mind wasn't able to comprehend anything anymore. A campfire pit was dug out next to the beautiful cabin. The porch had fairy lights dangling above. Mouth open, you turned to Jisung. “How did you…”

Jisung chuckled and followed you out of the car, wrapping his arm around your waist as he looked at you from the sides, smiling broadly as he saw the look on your face. He squeezed your waist gently before letting out another chuckle. “I have some connections, and let's just say this is not the first time I've used my connections to bring some joy into my girl's life.” He kissed your cheek. “Now tell me... How do you like my surprise?”

“It's amazing. It's... it's exactly how I imagined it. It's... holy shit..." You chuckled in disbelief, excitedly jogging up the steps of the cabin. Your fingers traced the wooden sign hanging next to the door. “Home.” You turned around. “You're unbelievable.” You smiled, ear to ear because you were so happy.

Jisung climbed the stairs behind you as his heart pounded loudly in his chest, a massive grin still on his face. Your smile was all he wanted to see, and that was enough to make him feel the purest joy in his heart. This moment, seeing you so happy and surprised, is everything he could have hoped for. He wrapped his arms tightly around you and held you close, planting a sweet kiss on your forehead. “I'm happy you like my surprise. I really wanted to make this cabin perfect, just for us.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too baby.”

Your happy place. With your person. There was nothing that could have topped the feeling you were experiencing at that moment. Han Jisung was truly… the greatest thing that ever happened to you. He squeezed your hand and led you inside. You smiled and followed him.

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adestayskz · 1 month

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GIVE ME YOUR TMI — [18+!]

AN INTERACTIVE STORY

“Well,” he starts again, “in case you ever need someone to take care of you, you know that my room is upstairs, baby.”

🌷 Caught up in lots of uni stress, you help your friend Minho with studying for the upcoming exam at his place. The tension between the two of you has been growing for some time now and you are just waiting for him to make a move on you. But then there’s also your other friend—Minho’s roommate Jisung—who is desperately looking for your attention. Soon, it gets pretty obvious that the two of them just want to find out who will be your choice, secretly hoping you will spend the night with both of them. However, that’s entirely up to you!

❕ [READ CAREFULLY] You, Y/N, are the main character in this interactive story, falling for both your friends Minho and Jisung. In order to choose whoever you want to end up with, simply select an option after reading this chapter [options will be highlighted and have a link attached to them] and follow the path!

📖 CONTENT INFO: minho x reader, jisung x reader, college au, minho and jisung are roommates and rich boys, smut with plot and a bit of fluff but also the tiiiiiniest sprinkle of angst, friends to lovers, a pretty lighthearted story after all the drama i have written in the past months lmao [warnings under cut]

🖊️ WORD COUNT: ~9.0K [or 13.9K in total if you read all options]

🩷 AUTHOR’S NOTE: Your queen and pioneer of interactive stories [24 to 25 in 2022 and Red Lights in 2023] is back! I am suuuper excited to share another one that I have been working on for some time :) I hope you like this simpler oneshot with only two of the members [my ult bias and my wrecker] too! If that’s the case I would be very grateful if you shared your thoughts with me by reblogging, commenting, sending an ask etc.! Thank you for always being here and being so supportive, it’s insane. Have a wonderful day and enjoy reading this little story. 🫶🏻 — Yours, Tan 🍓

⛓️ CONTENT WARNING: [not too specific to prevent spoilers], explicit sexual content [includes dom/sub dynamics, oral f + m receiving, semi-protected sex, semi-public sex, marking m receiving, edging, reader gets blindfolded and has to guess who kisses, touches, etc. her (I’m so sorry, this story suddenly became wilder than planned), use of names like princess, baby, good girl, angel, slut, whore], slight jealousy but not much

The characters do not portray any of the skz members in real life, the names are just used for fiction. Minors do not interact, this post contains mature topics. By reading you consent to nsfw content and agree that you have read all the warnings above carefully.

“I’ll make it up to you, I swear. But I’m running late,” you shout through the speakers of your phone.

The subway is cramped, severely cramped and it takes every strength within you—mentally and physically—not to spill the two paper cups’ liquids all over an innocent passenger sticking to your body. The fact the coffee is so hot that you’re burning your fingertips by solely holding the items makes everything harder. Especially, since you’re simultaneously trying to balance your posture—cursing internally every time the wagon rushes around a sharp corner—and the device that’s caged between your ear and shoulder.

The other people are already looking at you, possibly you’re once again speaking way too loud. But it isn’t easy, drowning out the obnoxious voice of your friend who is on the other side of the phone call. It makes sense that he invites you to his place—his apartment is way more spacious and closer to campus, just in case you need to borrow some books for your assigned study session today.

But you’re a natural when it comes to running late. Even if you get ready earlier, you always manage to leave the house past the time you have meticulously scribbled down in your phone’s notes app. It’s what you have to do—taking notes and planning every detail of your daily life. No matter if writing down when and what kind of meals to have, when the next deadline will be occurring, what’s on sale at the supermarket this week or when to take a break, allowing your exhausted lungs to take a deep deep breath of oxygen.

Easier said than done, especially in a big city like the one you’re living in—you’ve said goodbye to healthy and regular meals due to lack of time caused by your studies.

So, that’s why you’re very much grateful to have a friend like Minho. You help him with studying for your shared finance and macro economic classes, whereas he always invites you for food and drinks. He can be glad to be born in a richer family, allowing him to not think twice about every won he spends. But he doesn’t necessarily show it, he doesn’t brag about his money nor status.

“Y/N, it’s okay,” Minho says. You’re almost at your destination by now and the subway is getting more and more crowded, barely fitting any new people. “Just be careful and ring the bell when you’re here, yeah?”

That’s what you do once you’re standing in front of the modern apartment building. The sun is still setting early—after all it’s just the beginning of the year and the semester. It explains a lot about your current lack of motivation, but hopefully both Minho and the two cups of coffee that you’re balancing between three fingers will soothe your mood.

“You’re finally here,” your friend announces once you flaunt into his spacious place. You’re greeted with the huge living room, the scent of lavender lingering in the air.

“Sorry it took me so long, Min.”

You take a seat at the long dining table right next to him. He’s already got everything prepared—the study supplies including several electronic devices, sheets of paper, highlighters and pens, snacks such as a tray filled with fresh fruits, detox water and juice, as well as the infamous smirk on his face.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. We’ve got enough time, yeah? This just means you have to tutor me faster.”

You chuckle, taking a sip from the water. “Or you have to understand the theories quicker.”

Minho flicks the page, getting back to the exercise you last worked on. He can already feel his brain go all foggy at the sight of all the numbers on the paper, threatening to cause him a headache.

“I’ll try my best. I want to impress my talented tutor, you know?”

Especially since it's not the first time he’s throwing in some words that can be taken as a clue for flirting, it is almost embarrassing that you already feel the pace of your heart increasing at his sentence once again. That’s just how Minho is, how he speaks, how he behaves. He’s constantly searching for an excuse to get your attention, subtly adding a few teasing words in between the lines he drops—constantly making you wonder if there’s more than just this bond of friendship between you.

“Don’t worry about me, Min.”

Whereas Minho is embarrassed about the fact his palms always become sweaty whenever you use that specific nickname for him. It makes you seem even cuter, even more innocent. These days, the boy’s dreams are filled with none other than that – corrupting you, shaping you, making you feel good, using you to make himself feel good, worshiping your pretty body.

“Do you get it?”

Eyes wide open. Escaping the zoned out state. Fuck. You probably have noticed.

“Can you explain one more time?” He asks. His voice is quiet but you mistake it for lack of focus. You haven’t noticed.

“Of course. How about a break after that? I really need it.”

Ever since he met you last semester, Minho has been having some type of crush on you which he just can’t seem to get rid off. He almost feels embarrassed about it, but that’s just how it is now. The tutoring lessons both make it better and worse, this way he can spend some time with you but also feel himself getting more and more insane because of it.

“Sure,” he says, bringing his focus back to the current exercise.

🌷

Indian takeout is your choice of today’s study lesson’s retreat—Minho made you decide and, of course, invited you. The vegetable curry you’ve ordered smells delicious, letting your taste buds float on cloud nine. The both of you very much deserve it after such a long time of eating up all that finance and historical literature, your vision blurry from focusing on black letters swimming on cream white paper sheets.

“Do you like it?” Minho asks, handing you some more of the naan bread—the one with the cheese filling. You haven’t tried it before, but your liking for it is increasing.

“Yes! A lot. Thank you again. Next time I am–“

“No, no, no. You’re not. Y/N, you’re such a big help for me. That’s the least I can do.”

You nod, continuing with the bite you’ve carefully laid on your spoon. The cold breath from your mouth sinks the temperature of the meal, making it easier to swallow the spice.

“Yo, did you order some for me too, Minho?”

There’s that certain obnoxious voice that fills the room again, the one that’s the reason why Minho has to scream on the phone with you all time to drown him out. He’s loud, he’s quiet, he’s vivacious, he’s introverted, he’s lazy, he’s hard working. But all in all—he’s his roommate, Han Jisung.

He’s your friend, too, but you’re closer with Minho. The three of you often hang out whenever you’re done studying. You’d like to get to know the younger one more, as you seem to share some interests and general habits, but perhaps both of you are too introverted or shy to propose that idea. Still, whenever Minho is around, his roommate turns into a confidence filled goofball that loves nothing more than talking and teasing—especially your study partner and sometimes you.

“It’s too much, you can have some,” Minho tells him without meeting his eyes.

Jisung scoffs. You still haven’t looked at him or rather he hasn’t replied to your glances, pretending you’re not in the same room as him. He sometimes does that. In the back of your mind you are wondering if that’s to make you crave his attention but then you remember it’s time to take your anti-delululu pills and stop believing he’s got a crush on you.

“Do you think I’m a pig who wants to eat your leftovers?”

Minho shakes his head and you witness his eyes rolling to the back of it. “Whatever. Take it or leave it.”

Jisung decides against the latter option. He sits down at the table, choosing the chair directly between his roommate and you.

“Hey, Y/N, how’s it going?” Jisung asks you, speaking to you for the first time that evening. He’s got his hair grown out, the black waves dangling down almost to his shoulders and the sweatpants and shirt indicating he’s just gotten back from another producing session. Yes, your friend has a little music group—or whatever the hell you wanna call it—named 3RACHA, that is pretty famous on campus.

“I’m fine, how’re you?”

He nods and takes a bite from the naan bread, dipping it in the chutney before and once the taste spreads over his tongue he hums a sweet melody.

“Did you choose the food? And Minho paid?”

You’re caught off guard. Now you really feel like a burden. Even though Minho has explicitly invited you, coming off as a gold digger is the last thing you want to be perceived as. But this might be the case here. Jisung has often caught you eating food after study lessons with his roommate so perhaps that’s what he perceives.

“No, it’s just– that’s his tactic with every person he wants to fuck,” Jisung smirks.

What?

You poke a bit around in your food, taking your anxiety out on the cauliflower, unsure what to respond. But you’re sure about this. Minho isn’t just inviting you to get his hands under your skirt. You wouldn’t decline an offer though. But he isn’t interested in you that way. He definitely isn’t. Earth to brain, shut the fuck–

“Don’t listen to him, Y/N. Jisung is just teasing you at my cost.”

But Minho is not sure about this. He does want to fuck you, yes. Sensually. Rough. Passionately. Deep. Hard. But that’s not the reason he’s paying for your food. He’s just being a gentleman and would do it nonetheless. He’s highly grateful for your help, seriously.

“Well,” Jisung starts again, “in case you ever need someone to take care of you, you know that my room is upstairs, baby.”

You want to roll your eyes and scold him but instead a scratching feeling erupts inside your throat once your body mistakes your lungs for your esophagus, making you choke on that stupid piece of cauliflower. Blood rushes up to your head, tears are pricking on your lower lash line. But Minho is fast to hand you a napkin and your glass of water.

He gives a small smack on your back, hoping to help you with the ongoing fight with your body. But said body and mind are entering another quest right now – the idea of how his hands would feel colliding somewhere else with your very much naked skin. A spank on your thigh, on your ass, on your pussy–

“Are you good again?”

Fucking embarrassing. Especially when you witness Jisung’s mischievous smirk on his face.

“Yeah, thank you.”

🌷

You find yourself in Minho’s bedroom upstairs now. For another quick study session though. It’s the first time you’re in his private space here, since the two of you usually study either in the living room or meet up in the library right after your classes. There’s no particular reason for him not bringing you here earlier—despite the fact it’s easier to focus and study when sitting on a big dining table with a somewhat okay posture. Your body now located on his bed, your spine rather equals the shape of a shrimp.

There’s a particular reason for him to bring you upstairs especially now, though. Jisung has invited some friends spontaneously, occupying the living space with both a group of people and his obnoxiously loud voice—you are so gonna bring a sound-level measuring device with you next time.

Although, if you are completely honest—you don’t own such an instrument and there’s got to be another way to find out who is—

Oh. No, no, no. Brain, please don’t go there. Barricade the impulsive thoughts now. Build a wall, a really thick wall. Shut the fuck up. You know exactly where these spirals of ideas guide you to—it’s nothing new after all. You’ve been having alarmingly risky fantasies these past weeks and you blame it on the upcoming finals season that they at some point developed into actual dreams. Unfortunately, the evolutionary step of them turning into reality has been failing to materialise so far.

“Why do they make us learn some physics formulas?” Minho sighs out of the blue.

Well, it’s not entirely out of the blue. You simply haven’t been paying attention to any sounds coming out of his mouth since your mind is focused on the way his lips are moving and you feel awful for it. Say thank you to the stress and the lack of intimacy in your life lately.

“The professor has a PhD in physics,” you explain, rolling your eyes. Bring back your fucking focus to the present, Y/N. It’s getting embarrassing. But are you really here to be blamed when Minho looks this good? You’re convinced he’s the reincarnation of some Greek God, just put here on earth to mess with your head while you should be paying attention to some calculations you will never need in life again after you—hopefully—passed this stupid exam.

Minho lets out a piled up lump of air, as his head falls back in exhaustion. “Surprising. Not.” He closes his eyes and with the position he’s in, you can see his Adam's apple, the light from his nightstand table falling right onto it. Life is so unfair.

“You okay, Y/N?”

Your breath hitches.

Has he noticed you ogling him? He probably has. But who the fuck looks so perfect while doing exactly nothing? You can’t be blamed here, right? You solely have eyes and Minho got into the view of them.

“I-I’m fine, sure,” you say with a suppressed giggle that emphasises your embarrassment.

“You’re sitting there like a shrimp, by the way.” He suddenly stands up from his seat, taking long strides towards his bed where you are sitting, crawled under a blanket he gave you some minutes ago. “No offence though. It’s just not good for your back.”

The worst thing is. He’s right. You’re still simping for him in your head while Minho points out how bad your posture is. You entered a new level of awkwardness now. Great.

“Oh, that’s where the pain is coming from,” you shyly reply with a chuckle, quickly sitting upright but this doesn’t lessen the discomfort in your upper body.

Your friend sits down and scoots closer, before he tilts his head, “You’re in pain and not realising it’s from your awful posture?” A laugh spills from his lips.

“Hey, don’t bully my posture, Lee,” you reply, scrunching your eyebrows together while a faux pout appears on your face. You cross your arms in front of your chest, pretending to be offended.

“I am just speaking the truth, it’s not my problem you can’t handle criticism, princess,” he teases you further, clicking his tongue.

Princess. Oh, god. This is getting out of control quickly. At lightning speed, to be precise. You’re aware he doesn’t mean it in a flirty way—for what you know, he may just call you a diva instead.

“Want me to do something about it? I can massage you, if you like–“

Your eyes are widening and your mouth immediately falls agape.

“Sorry, that was a bit straightforward, I know how you are with physical touch and all and I’m–“

“That would be great. My body is really sore just from sitting all the time,” you explain.

There’s nothing wrong about it, right?

You’re just two stressed friends that are caught up in a busy exam season trying to get through all this. Minho has offered it after all. There’s nothing more behind it. He just likes you platonically. Unfortunately. But that you are sure of. Otherwise, he would have already made a move.

“Then, turn around. Or—wait—maybe lay down on your stomach? Is that alright with you?”

You’re gonna go insane at any second. “Sure.”

You do as you’re told, shifting in your position before you roll over and lie flat on your belly. Minho hopes you don’t notice the fact that he’s staring at your ass for a bit too long but fortunately you’re already turned around and therefore can’t see him. Your face is tilted to the side, as your head is attached to your hands that are crossed and laying flat against the bed underneath you. You hope you don’t fall asleep in this very comfortable position until the weight of the mattress shifts and you feel two legs dip into it right next to you.

Your friend is sitting on top of you, his crotch almost pressed against your ass and he’s praying to all the Gods he can think of so that you don’t notice the hard on he’s starting to sport inside his pants. Minho is quite sure now that this wasn’t the smartest idea he’s had in a while but he’s thinking a bit too much with his dick whenever you are near.

He gets into a comfortable position, right before his hands land on the middle of your back.

“Are you ready, Y/N?”

You nod, “Y-Yeah. Just start whenever you feel like it.”

He begins with slow movements, trying to get to know your body as much as it’s appropriate. It’s a shame you’re still wearing clothes but he gets that you wouldn’t just go naked for him to get massaged. At least not yet. You’re not at that stage of your friendship and whatever it evolves too. But for now, Minho will take everything he can get and won’t complain in the slightest. This is heaven on earth. The outlines of your curves, the soft flesh that his fingertips are touching—separated by a few layers of fabric but who cares.

It feels so damn good to have Minho’s hands roaming all over you. It does help you a lot with your back pain but unfortunately—and you hope it won’t be noticeable anytime soon—your panties are going damp from all the arousal that is gushing into them. The way Minho leans forwards, rubbing over your ass with—what you expected to be—his growing erection makes you feel all dizzy.

Is he really getting turned on by this? Because you are, too, and if he’d slip his hands under your shirt, rip down the rest of your clothes and ask you all nicely, you’d allow him to bury his cock deep inside your hole. That you are sure of. That’s also not a new fantasy of yours, after all.

Fuck. Bring back your focus to the present. Minho is just a man and this doesn’t mean he wants you too. It’s just his body reacting to something very natural, right?

“God, I’m really stiff, huh?” you ask, laughing a little about yourself.

Yeah and I’ll get a bit too stiff down there too if you don’t stop moaning like that, Minho thinks, rolling his eyes to the back of his head. But he keeps going. Those soothing motions continue, making you relax under his gentle touch.

“Fuck—so sorry for the sounds I make,” you grunt, a sweet little chuckle slipping right between those animalistic noises, “but it feels too damn good. You should do this professionally, Min.”

“No, I’d rather keep my skills reserved for you only,” he says, clicking his tongue.

You gulp but then his thumbs dig into the soft flesh again and you’re hit with another one of those crazy sensations that makes it impossible to focus on anything else. Another moan spills from your lips and you hear the alarm bells ringing, telling you to rather stop this.

But you do want Minho. In any way possible. However, you still have an appointment with your roommate and friend Chaeryeong which you suddenly remember, that you really shouldn’t miss.

Okay, and perhaps you’re a little bit of a coward. Although you don’t know why. Minho would make you feel so good, that you are sure of. But perhaps you aren’t ready yet to face the big question of what happens after this considering your great friendship. You know that there’s more than this coming from your side but then again you also catch yourself thinking about his roommate in the same way on a daily basis and you feel awful for playing with their emotions like this in your mind.

“Shit, okay… I feel a lot better already. Thank you so much for this,” you suddenly say and Minho’s motions come to a halt.

He can tell that you got cold feet but he won’t question it. Your friend gets up again and gives you enough space to stand back on your feet, too.

“No need to thank me, princess. Anything for you, yeah?” he says with another one of those winks because he just can’t hold back.

You get all shy, grabbing your stuff and heading towards the door. He follows you to the exit of his bedroom, before you say, “I think… I should go. I am meeting up with Chaeryeong at home in half an hour .”

“Of course. I can bring you home,” Minho says.

“It’s okay, Min. No worries,” you reply.

He gets a bit closer but your distracted brain soon grasps that he only wants to properly say goodbye to you. Minho pulls you into a hug then—a bit longer than usual which is very unusual for someone like him—while he whispers into your ear, “Text me when you’re back home and all. Thank you again for today.”

“I will. Promise. And no worries.”

You let go again and give him a last shy smile, praying he doesn’t notice how startled you are and how much heat has risen up to your head but you are sure you’re doing the worst job at hiding it.

Walking down the stairs, you almost trip all over your own feet until you make it to the entrance door of the ridiculously huge apartment.

“Y/N, you’re already going home?” Jisung says, when you walk right into his vision.

You’ve managed to get to the door, your hand almost seizing the knob but the other one of the two roommates decides to mess with your head by talking to you now too. Yes, it’s just talking. But you’re still so startled from what happened just minutes ago and the fact that Jisung changed into some tank top, showing off his muscly shoulders and arms doesn’t make it any easier for you.

“Yeah,” you tell him, giving him a small smile.

“And my roommate isn’t bringing you home?” he asks, eyebrow raised up and his head tilted.

You shake your head, “He offered it. But I have another study session with Chaeryeong, my roommate. It’s alright and not dark outside yet.”

“Okay. I wanted to ask you something if you still got a minute,” he adds.

“Sure.”

Jisung reaches inside his pants pockets with his hands, getting a bit shy now for whatever reason.

“You’re tutoring Minho in economics, right?”

“Yeah, I do,” you reply, getting a bit confused. Jisung knows exactly what his roommate and you are studying, why is he asking that now?

“Great,” he speaks again. “For whatever dumb reason I chose an economics class this semester and I am struggling. Would it be too much to ask for help from you? I think one or two hours for reminiscing will be enough but I also get if you got too much going on–“

“Oh, no. It’s fine!”

“Ah, you’re an angel. My guardian angel, if you will. I can text you later and we can discuss the details,” he proposes.

“Yeah, of course,” you say with a bright smile.

God, how he adores those. Jisung could straight away melt and turn into a puddle. That’s the issue. His teasing and talking and bad excuse of flirting sometimes isn’t just because he’d love to have you on top of him, bouncing on his dick while your nails are gripping into the flesh on his back and you’re dearly struggling not to cum for yet another time—no, it’s more than that. He absolutely adores you and likes having you in his life, although he’s not as close with you as Minho is. But he can change that and this is the first step.

“Perfect. Can I pay you somehow?”

You look at him confused, once again, “No, it’s fine! No worries about that. You’re my friend. I won’t take any money from you.”

“No, I’m gonna repay you. I promise. Get back home safe,” he tells you and you decide against arguing with him at least for now.

“Have a nice evening, Jisung.”

🌷

When you arrive at your student apartment, your roommate isn’t there yet. So, you drop down your bag and freshen up a little in the bathroom before you prepare everything for Chaeryeong and you.

Sitting down on the dining table in the little kitchen living room thingy you share, you grab out your phone and notice a message sent to you by your roommate.

[Chaereyong, 19:55]: I’ll be there in a few minutes! I’m bringing iced coffee and cake with me so please forgive me my dear!! 🫶🏻

You chuckle to yourself and quickly text her back, before you open the chat with your other study partner and newly found massage expert.

[You, 20:02]: Made it home :) Thanks for the food again!!

Is this message too much? Too little? You are still so absolutely confused and startled about what happened back then. You were dangerously close to having your good friend take the stress off your body in very different, pretty much forbidden ways. Well, don’t make it sound as if you are caught in a bad remake of Romeo and Juliet. The forbidden part is solely your inability to face your own feelings that you have for your good friend.

A reply from him awakens you from your spiral of thoughts.

[Minho, 20:05]: Thank you for helping me with studying, Y/N. Have a nice evening 🩷

You quickly answer.

[You, 20:07]: You too Min 🩷

You are fast to place your device away until you receive another message.

[Jisung, 20:08]: hey, my guardian angel 👼 do you have some time tomorrow afternoon? my exam is already next week and it’s killing me 😩

You laugh a little, both about him calling you his guardian angel and the difference in the way he texts compared to Minho.

[You, 20:09]: yeah, sure!! At 15:00?

You watch the screen until you receive two texts within a few seconds.

[Jisung, 20:10]: it’s a date then ;) looking forward to it thank you again

[Jisung, 20:10]: *study date xd

Well played, Jisung. Not obvious at all.

[You, 20:11]: see you tomorrow :)

The door opens and Chaeryeong enters right before you get the last message.

[Jisung, 20:11]: see u tomorrow , Y/N 😌

🌷

“So, should we just start with the basic concepts?”

You find yourself inside Jisung’s bedroom upstairs, currently helping him with the issues that are occupying his head when someone mentions the word ‘economics’. There’s a huge amount of food and snacks here, as well as your favourite drink from your favourite cafe near their apartment building—a small thank you because you are tutoring Jisung.

He’s leaning against the chair, you’re sitting right beside him but something tells you that he is focusing on anything but the studying happening in front of him.

“Yeah, sure,” he says, wrinkling his nose when he sees the numbers and letters that are becoming a total blur in front of his eyes. No, this whole study date wasn’t just some cheap ploy to get your attention but it’s a welcomed side effect. However, it’s also a great way to lose attention about what’s really important over and over again.

But there’s just something about you that makes his heart race as if he’s an astronaut, as stupid as it sounds. Whenever you look at him, talk back at one of those silly things he says, his pulse quickens up to a ridiculous speed. Jisung is caught in a dilemma whenever he comes home and finds you studying in the living room with Minho.

On one hand, each day that he gets to see you automatically turns into his favourite day of the week. But on the other hand, the fact that you spend so much time with his roommate makes him jealous.

He knows he isn’t in a position to feel that way, you’re just friends after all and you’re kinda closer to Minho as well, given that you are the same age and happen to major in the same subject. Still, he can’t fight those dumb little feelings that take over him whenever you are near.

Studying with Jisung has two perks for you. First—very simple—it helps you revise the material for your own exam, given the fact that your friend’s test paper will be about the basic stuff to which you are taking an advanced course this semester. Second—rather complicated—you can spend some time with him. In his room. Being close to him. Having an excuse to stare at him for a little too long while studying and just blame it on the fact that you want to make sure he’s understood everything based on his mimics.

Oh, Y/N, what the fuck have you gotten yourself into here?

Who on earth likes two of their friends that also happen to be roommates at the same time? It couldn’t get any more heart wrenching, could it?

Well, there is no drama yet and you won’t create any of it. Although this means you have to hold back and won’t engage with any of them despite what you really want. It was already unbearable to refrain from taking another step when Minho massaged you yesterday. You’re unsure if you will be able to withstand any of your inner desires when being in a room with Jisung for too long.

However, tutoring goes fine and your friend seems to understand what you’re trying to explain to him. You get a lot of exercises done, repeating all the terminology he needs to know and after two hours, he tells you that this will be enough for today and you agree.

“Do you have any more questions?” you ask, bringing your eyes back to one of the papers in front of you.

“Hmm, are you and Minho dating?”

Okay, screw that. You’re seriously not sure how your heart is gonna survive this. Is he perhaps jealous? Nah, you doubt that. This is just typical Jisung behaviour, searching for anything to tease you.

“I was referring to the topics of your exam…” you say, hastily blinking, and trying to not entirely lose your mind. He’s just messing with you. That’s all.

“And I was referring to my roommate and you. I heard cute little moans coming from his room the other day when you were over,” Jisung adds, clicking his tongue.

That–

Okay, calm down, Y/N. Calm down.

“That was… we didn’t–“

“Yeah, I’m sure you didn’t,” he says with a wink. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m fine with sharing, you know?”

You look at him dumbfounded. Are you still so sure he’s just teasing you?

“Sharing?”

“You know what I’m talking about. Don’t make me beg you to give me your TMI, Y/N,” Jisung whispers with a pout.

The room suddenly feels one hundred degrees hotter and tinier, as if supernatural forces are pushing you closer to him but in reality neither Jisung nor you have moved even a centimetre.

But you can’t go down that road. Although you want to. You want both of them and you know this isn’t gonna be easy. Which is why you need to stop all this before it even starts.

Right.

“I… yeah, I know what you mean… but we can’t. We’re friends, Jisung. I value that a lot.”

Or perhaps you’re just a coward. And a lot scared to mess things up because you might lose both of them. God, why do you always need to overthink everything to this extent?

“Yeah, me too. But this doesn’t have to hold us back from following what we both truly crave,” Jisung says, his voice dropping lower by an octave.

You gulp, “What do we crave?”

You know exactly what he means. You’re just playing dumb now to give your head, heart and that arousal erupting in your lower stomach some break. Focus, Y/N. Focus.

“Well, I can only speak for myself but I love the way you look at me whenever I tease you. Or whenever my hand subtly grazes over your body like this,” Jisung brings his fingertips to your thigh, wandering over your pants but stopping right before something happens that you both might regret—despite the animalistic urge inside you, “I dream a bit too often about what it would be like to have you in my lap, you staring right down at me, grinding over me and—fuck, since when am I so confident talking about this?”

Jisung suddenly pulls his hand away when he remembers where he is and with who and what he just spoke out loud. You’re gonna think he’s a total perv now.

But all you do is chuckle and say, “I don’t know, I’m surprised too. But I like it, Ji.”

You like it.

Then where’s the issue?

“So, what’s holding you back?”

“It's… well…” you can’t really find the words.

“Everything’s okay. I’m not making you choose. There’s no pressure ever, yeah? If this makes you uncomfortable, just forget that this conversation has ever happened.”

He slows down a bit. Stressing you out is the last thing he wants. You’re friends after all and your well being is what comes first here.

“Okay… I feel so bad about it but…”

He sighs, “It’s about Minho, isn’t it?”

“Y-Yeah.”

Surprise.

Of course his older friend and roommate is what’s letting those second guesses appear in your head. He should have known and secretly he has.

“It’s fine, I get it,” Jisung says, nodding.

“I just need some time to think,” you admit.

“It’s alright, really,” he repeats.

You give him a smile and stand up, taking a quick glimpse at your phone and the clock on the screen that reads five in the afternoon. Fuck. You almost forgot that you still have to pick up a package from the post office. Caught in your exam stress, you spend a little too much money on useless stuff the other night when you were shopping online out of frustration. But it’s okay. You can always send it back.

“Thank you again for everything, Y/N. I’ll see you again tomorrow?”

Right. Tomorrow. Same place. Same time. And after that another study session with Minho.

“Of course! See you tomorrow,” you say, as Jisung pulls you into a quick hug that lasts a little longer than usual before you leave his room and walk down the stairs.

You’ve managed to get to the door, your hand almost seizing the knob but the other one of the two roommates decides to mess with your head by intercepting you. Minho is suddenly standing there, looking at you with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He’s wearing a tank top just like Jisung did yesterday and for a second you wonder if they planned this.

“Oh, hey, Min! I didn’t know you were here,” you shyly greet him as you awkwardly wave.

“Ditto. Have I missed something?”

His head is tilted, as he looks right at you.

You shake your head no, “Oh, no. I just helped Jisung a little with his upcoming exam, that’s all.”

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow evening for another study session?”

“Of course!”

And faster than he’s able to add anything, you’re already rushing out that front door.

🌷

Only when you make it back home, your heart drops down its pace enough for you to take in your surroundings and all the noises a student apartment building offers.

What the hell was that?

Oh, right. Your stupid heart. Making everything worse than it already is.

You’re caught in a real dilemma although you are sure by now that you’re the one who is complicating things by a thousand levels. Unfortunately, not one of the character traits you are proud of.

Chaeryeong isn’t back yet, probably still at work but you know that you can’t just sit here now after that steamy study flirting session with Jisung and running right into Minho on your way out after that massage yesterday. You’re wondering if they are aware of the fact you find them both attractive. Hell, they probably know. You don’t quite do a good job at hiding it and everything makes you feel as if they might reciprocate those complicated feelings you have for them.

Fuck. What should you do?

One thing is sure—you can’t stay here and wait for your roommate. Of course, Chaeryeong is the best friend you can have but on top of all the stress she’s going through right now you don’t want to add on to this. Some introverted time will do. Get out. Do something to distract you. Right.

You change into different clothes and grab a thicker jacket, before you reach for your bag again, leave the apartment and lock the door.

In order to deal with this situation you are left with a few options that feel right to you.

First, you could go to the library, perhaps wait a few hours there for Chaeryeong and get more studying done or simply read a book or watch Netflix. This has always helped to distract you.

Another idea would be to take a walk in the park since it’s still sunny and warm outside and perhaps get some drink like a coffee or a matcha latte on your way, just letting your thoughts free and coming up with a solution.

However, you could also head back to Minho’s and Jisung’s apartment now instead of tomorrow and discuss things. But then again, you’re not quite sure if you’re bold enough for that and if it’ll lead you anywhere.

Fuck, this is more complicated than it should be. But it’s time to make a decision. Will you go to the library to distract yourself, take a walk in the park or visit Minho’s and Jisung’s apartment?

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