I just want to cry nonstop, hoping to be okay

If you don't love me tell it to my face, don't cheat on me 💔💔💔

I was so foolish to trust you, I thought your different from them but you are all the same, im wondering what did I do to have this burden.

Napaka pangit ng bday ko, lagi nalang 😞 parang gusto ko nalang mawala

SOMEDAY...

For myself

I claim that may dreams and plans will come true, that I was able finish my college degree this semester, established a career and eventually start up my own business while serving and ministering to my beloved church and I claim to have a simple and happy married life with Paul Norman D. Castro and good mother to my future son and daughter, I dream to be the best wife to my future husband and still a good daughter to my parents and sibling and a person who’s ready to help my friends.

For my parents

Mama and daddy I love you so much, It’s an honor to be your daughter, Daddy I'm thankful that you came in to our life, thank you for always making my mother happy even she is always cranky. Daddy It’s a privilege to be your favorite daughter even I’m not your biological daughter, you loved us as if we are your own daughter I love you so much daddy, Mama I’m sorry for doing things that can hurt you, I’m sorry I’m not like your favorite daughter but I’m always here for your I love you Ma, My greatest plan for my parents is to give them so much loved and a honeymoon vacation since they both loved adventure and travel.

For my partner in the future

To my future husband Paul Norman D. Castro, I’m sorry I’m not perfect, I made mistake but thank you for the love that you gave me, I’m happy to have you I’m my life, we are both longing to each other and I know it’s tiring to wait but let’s just keep the faith and never let go what we entrust to the Lord, all I want is to have a happy and simple life with you and I dream for you is to minister again, may God bind us closer then before despite of the distance between us I love you so much mylove.

For my future children

To my future children France Hayley and Clark Paul, I can’t wait to see you, may you have a heart to serve the Lord and do good deeds others.

SOUL.ENERGY.SPIRIT.HEART

Friends: I always try my best to help them more often I extend an extra mile to them and sometimes I break the rule just to help then, I also keep in touch with my favorite friends and show them that I’m always here to support them the best why that I can, I consider my favorite friends as my family, to all my favorite friend you know who you are I love you I’m always here for you even when we get old. I want to use this opportunity to thank you for being part of my life and struggles, thank you for the laughs and misunderstanding from there I learned my mistake, I love you my favorite friends may we all succeed and achieve the desires of our hearts, may God guide you and protect you always my favorite friends, love yaaah!!!!

Acquaintance: for acquaintance its almost the same with friends I will try my best to help others as long as I can because that’s my love language helping and serving.

Elders; for elders I am more patient to them and understanding regardless if they are my family, I also consider them as leader, I listening to their life experiences and advice.

Leaders: I love hanging out with people who lead, not because they are popular but because I loved to hear their struggles and success stories, I loved hearing how they cope up with stress and how they handle pressure. I submit to my leaders and listen to their advice and life story because from there I was able to learn things that I can apply to my life specially if it’s about life values, I also respect their own point of view and admire how they handle though times in their life.

MY REAL TREASURE, FAMILY

My first heartbreak is my family, but my love of my life is still my family, they may have flaws, they make me cry, insecure, jealous but people change and I’m happy they change for the better just like me, I change for the better, I change because I realize that in order for them to love me I need to show them how much I loved and care for myself, life is very unpredictable but worth to live, I’m happy and grateful to the Lord that they are my family and I will always be thankful that I have them, I'm proud that have a courage to tell them how much I love them my mom, dad and my sisters. they may not thought me how to love myself, but they though me how to be disciplined, well-mannered and life golden rules that I’m still able to apply in my life and share it to others so that others will be inspired. even if I will be given a chance to choose a family, I will always choose the one that I have, I may not be expressive to show them I love them but deep in my heart I love them so much. We may have bad memories in the past but I still love them with all my heart, and because of those bad memories I have with them, I able to learn to trust myself, to be confident and to love myself and protect myself from people who want to hurt me, I pray that my family will remain blessed and grateful to everything, may we be bonded despite of struggle that we are facing every day emotionally, financially and spiritually, may God protect my family all times and friends that I considered family. I’m proud and happy to have my family and they will remain on my heart for the rest of my life.

MY FAILURE, MY TEACHER

The biggest failure that I had was not loving myself, I live a life with full of doubts, insecurities, jealousy, ungratefulness, greed, and lack of confidence, I tend to hurt myself physically and overthink on things I thought I’m not capable of. I can say my childhood life is not a happy memory because I'm not able to experience to socialize with kids in my same age I actually don’t have friends in my neighbor because my parents don’t allow me to play with them and as I age, I develop a habit of not trusting myself and overthinking that I will mess up all the time, I’m not able to make it or not able to accomplished anything I felt I’m the worthless person and I thought I need to be loved in order to love myself, and I kept on searching that love to other people and I kept on failing to find it. But you know what I reach a point and realize that the only time I will feel the love that I deserve is when I love myself even the ugliest part of it, the only time people will love and trust me is when I love and trust myself and to add to that once you love yourself you will be surprise to the achievements you can acquire. But don’t get me wrong loving oneself is not enough you also need to push yourself to become the best version of you, continue learning and growing to achieve your dream life and never ever depend your happiness to things or people, and learned to be happy with others achievements and use it as your inspiration in life and lastly never be afraid when someone is better than you because there will always be a better and greater person and you should be happy with them.

THIS IS ME

Franchesca Mickey F. Cruz

Wazzuuup!!! It’s me the ever curious Accusing Lamb, when I was young I kept on wishing to have a better life, a richer family, a better parent, a whiter complexion, smoother hair, smarter, taller, prettier and intelligent, I was so insecure to my oldest sister who always have high grades and jealous to my other sister who always stand out because of her beautiful looks, I despise everything that I had and wishing to have a what they have, I almost hate myself because I'm not the favorite daughter, sometimes I messed up my older sisters things because I’m so jealous, and to add to that my mom always me feel like I’m the ugliest among my sisters. As I grow up, I hide myself and I never appreciate what I had, I became less confident, I don’t trust myself, I feel useless since no one appreciate me, there was a time I wish to just die because I feel worthless. As the years go by I was so desperate how to be my older sisters, I was trying so hard but still no one appreciate me, I don’t feel loved in my own family so I desperately reach love out side my family but then I fall in love, i love in with the wrong person who bought so much burden in my life as if I want to end my life because of so much pain and struggle but, I’m still blessed because God gave me wisdom and strengthen me to end that toxic relationship and renew me, my mind and my heart. I start to loved myself and embrace my flaws, I began to discover things that I thought I was not capable of, and I learned to appreciate my small achievements and to love myself and learn how to trust in the Lord and serve him with all my heart.