in guarani there's a standard greeting that literally translates to "are you happy" (ndevy'apa) and the natural reply is "i'm happy" (avy'a) and as americans learning the language we were so distressed like "but what if we're not happy....." and our teachers were like "that's so not the fucking point"

we kept trying to think of any other way to reply but our teachers kept trying to get it into our brains that it's an idiomatic greeting, it literally is not the time or place to traumadump, and as usamerican english speakers we are not some special exception for saying "what's up" with the reply being "not much" instead of "the ceiling"

but anyway while i was working in paraguay -- the country with the largest population of guarani speakers -- i got sent an article by some friends back home like "look! they're saying that paraguay is the happiest country in the world!"

and the methodology was "we went around and asked paraguayans if they're happy and recorded their responses" and i was like. oh. of course you did. and of course you got a 100% positive response rate.

clownfish be like "i know a spot" and take you to a fucking deadly sea organism

i would've fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would've jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i'd be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it

people born in 24 Are 2000 now

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

i am tired of feeling unlovable

So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)

Reblog to increase sample size!

I think Sam Reich needs to do just one regular, normal, vanilla version of Game Changer randomly so that when it ends Brennan never feels safe.

buying a dropout subscription for the sole purpose of finding out what this wenis hype is all about

i love to make fun of notorious white woman Taylor Swift and all of her embarrassing attempts to appear deeper than a plate of soup.

Something something Iskall returning to MCC I'm BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS

ISKALL MCC. WHO FUCKING CHEERED‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

For those of you not on Twitter, MCC is being announced, and oh my god?! This team!?

CPK & Hbomb is a dangerous team and we have Iskall and Cub along for the ride? Dare I say winners POV?

[Hbomb collected another Hermit lets gooooo]

So, who's ready for the Hermitcraft takeover of MCC? /j

My ideal aesthetic is what I'm calling "sexy tomboy". That is to say, I am 100% femme through and through, but I want to look like what a straight man's idea of a "masculine woman" is. I wanna be masc in the way that LaCroix is fruit flavored, just a little extra something to make things a little more interesting