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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 3 years

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prompts list (150)

fluff

"you look better in my clothes than i do."

"i believe you."

"is that my shirt?"

"can i play with your hair?"

"you can tell me anything."

"isn't the view beautiful?"

"my mother adores you."

"they're not you."

"if you cry, i'll cry-- and that won't be fun for anyone."

"did you just kiss me?"

"i've dreamt about this."

"is that a drawing of me?

"i didn't mean to say that but yeah, i love you."

"of course i will."

"wow you're photogenic."

"i thought you'd never ask."

"quick, kiss me!"

"you cancelled plans for me?"

"i've never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time."

"that is not what the instructions say."

"you remembered?"

"stop looking at me like that!"

"has anyone told you that your eyes sparkle in the moonlight?"

"how mad would you be if i kissed you?"

"you're hugging me too tight!"

"my lipgloss is all over your lips."

"that's the first time i've ever seen you smile."

"you're lucky you're hot."

"i didn't know you could sing."

"you weren't supposed to hear that!"

"shut up before i kiss you."

"you give me butterflies."

"i can't think around you."

"i just wanted to make you laugh."

"kiss me better."

"why'd you stop?"

"you wrote me a song?"

"i'm not scared but if you are, you can hold my hand."

"you ramble and it's adorable."

"are you blushing?"

"did i say that out loud?"

"hey, only i can call them that!"

"have you ever thought about how much worse our lives would be without each other?"

"i meant it when i said for better or for worse."

"that's the sixth time you've complimented me today."

"nothing else matters except for you."

"we could run away."

"the world could be on fire and i'd still be happy as long as i'm with you."

"they're such an idiot. my idiot but still."

"this isn't adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you."

smut

"do you think of me when you touch yourself?"

"stop before someone sees!"

"do that again."

"ten? i only need five."

"on your knees."

"enjoying the view?"

"that was the prettiest sound i've ever heard."

"i didn't think you were into that."

"i trust you. do it."

"next time we get into an argument, i'm reminding you that i took your virginity."

"against the window? are you insane?"

"i'm going to ruin that pretty makeup."

"now everyone's going to know you're mine.

"i could do this all day."

"louder, i want them to hear you."

"you can finish if you beg."

"do you want to come on my fingers or mouth?"

"you won't be able to walk tomorrow when i'm through with you."

"how funny do you think teasing is now?"

"after that little stunt? you're not getting off that easy."

"lay down and stay still."

"are you doing that on purpose?"

"i didn't like the way they were looking at you."

"have they ever touched you like this?"

"i never noticed how beautiful filthy words could be."

"were you masturbating?"

"my boyfriend/girlfriend would kill us."

"keep quiet or someone'll hear."

"not so cocky now, are you?"

"is that new?"

"who gave you that?"

"are you jealous?"

"show me you're mine."

"i've been waiting all day to do this."

"does that hurt?"

"lipstick's a good look on you."

"we should skinny dip."

"as beautiful as you look, all i want to do is rip that dress off right now."

"were you checking me out?"

"this isn't what i had in mind when i yelled fuck you."

"call me that again."

"did i do that?"

"i'll try it for you."

"i think we just found a new kink."

"i always hated spankings as a child."

"leave the heels on."

"i'd rather have your hands around my throat but the necklace will do."

"what would people say if they knew you were such a slut for me?"

"shut up and pin me down."

"i thought your laugh was the prettiest sound in the world. i was wrong, it's your moans."

angst

"do you love them?"

"you're not sorry."

"how did you find out?"

"don't lie to me."

"am i not important to you anymore?"

"i didn't realise i was such an inconvenience."

"do you think about them when you look at me?"

"how many times am i supposed to forgive you?"

"don't raise your fucking voice at me."

"i trusted you."

"are you ashamed of me?"

"it was open and i read it."

"i can't deal with you right now."

"did you ever really love me?"

"i see the way you look at them."

"if you can't live without me, then die."

"i don't believe you."

"all you had to do was stay."

"i knew you were too good to be true."

"i don't need help and i don't need you either."

"some things aren't meant to be."

"all my friends told me you'd break my heart."

"you were my dream come true but turns out you're a fucking nightmare too."

"you deserve better."

"it's not safe."

"i wish i'd never met you."

"i can't look at you."

"get out."

"was it worth it?"

"how could you let them say that about me?"

"there's just no pleasing you, is there?"

"why don't you give a shit?"

"how many times are you going to look me in the eye and lie to me?"

"i can't do this if you don't trust me."

"find someone else then."

"don't touch me!"

"they were there. you weren't."

"i don't want to spend another second with you!"

"is your image really more important than us?"

"you win."

"this isn't what i wanted to happen."

"i'd take our relationship back in a heartbeat."

"you two deserve each other."

"can't you listen for one second?"

"you'll be happier without me."

"if you loved me, you wouldn't have done it."

"don't you try to explain yourself!"

"you can't take back what you said."

"i don't see the same person i loved when i look at you anymore."

"why didn't you fight for us?"

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 3 years

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Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone of any nationality and ethnicity.

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone in the LGBTQ+ community.

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone with a disability or disorder.

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone who has experienced or is experiencing trauma.

Reblog if your page is a safe space.

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 3 years

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You’re The One

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of hospitalization and injury, and of course, fluff

Prompt: “I was doing fine. Really. And then you waltzed back into my life like you never broke my heart.”

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 3 years

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Strings

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: spoilers of/before season 8

This was one of the best times of the year. You loved the holiday spirit (because not everybody celebrates Christmas, Karen) and the decorations. It was amazing how even a divided world could come together and celebrate its own traditions and partake in customs.

You had been hunting with the Winchesters for years. At first, it was just helping out on a few missions whenever they needed back-up, but then the apocalypse came, and they needed more than only themselves.

For three years, you pined over Sam Winchester. It was damn near impossible not to. He had a certain charm about him, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Perhaps it was the selflessness, or maybe it was the compassion and empathy. Or, maybe it was his warmth toward everybody. Regardless, you fell for him silently.

Dean had always told you that he was into you as well. He just had a hard time accepting it because everybody else in his life had died.

You, somehow, never died. It was hell watching Sam, Dean, and Cas die time and time again, not knowing if they’d come back. It was horrible seeing Sam without a soul, Dean with the Mark, and Cas being possessed by Lucifer.

But, in the fourth year, you finally broke the silence. It was rushed and seemingly out of nowhere, but it was worth it. It was Christmas of 2009, and everybody was drinking (it was debatable if it was for the occasion or to forget the world’s problems). Cas had left, Dean had gone to bed, but you and Sam stayed in the map room.

The music was loud, and Sam was drunkenly dancing around, and it hit you all at once. The emotions were louder than the song, so much so that it seemed to deafen the noise around you. You were captivated by Sam’s smile and the way he satirically serenaded you, and your heart was beating harshly inside your chest. “Sam, I love you,” You had blurted. He slowed to a stop, took a second to comprehend what you said, and then he pulled you into him for a kiss.

Now, it was Christmas of 2013. You and Sam had been together for four years, but the relationship still held that same spark. Sure, the butterflies may have gone away, and you had both said those three little words more times than you could count, but those feelings were replaced by warmth. It wasn’t nerves that you felt around him; instead, it was safety.

“Did you get the beer?” Dean’s voice called, snapping you from your thoughts. You looked up from the kitchen counter and saw Sam coming down the stairs with a few bags.

“I never forget it,” Sam smiles. You put down the oven mitt and meet him halfway down the stairs, helping him with some of the bags.

“Is this all the bags?” You asked. He hums a yes and presses a chaste kiss to your lips before you both head back into the kitchen. “Dean, get out of the filling!” You scolded. Dean looks up at you with a cheeky smile as he pops a finger in his mouth, licking it clean from pie filling. You swat him away and place the bags on the counter.

You enjoyed the domestic feeling that Christmas in the bunker brought. This was the first Christmas that you had a place to call home, and you made damn sure to take advantage of that. Therefore, you already had dinner made, and you were working on dessert right now. Sam had gotten liquor and eggnog for everybody. Cas was gonna be here any minute, and you made food for him, too (since he lost his grace a few months back).

It was gonna be perfect.

Sam helped you set the table while Dean fetched Cas. The four of you sat down and ate an amazing meal, and then you exchanged your gifts. You had made a deal a few years back to just get small ornaments or keychains for each other, and you stuck to that.

For Dean, you had engraved a bullet casing for him. For Cas, you got him a baby angel ornament with some cheesy saying along the lines of “our angel isn’t in heaven”, and then crossed out the word angel and put “human” over it (Cas had appreciated the joke). For Sam, you put a vampire tooth on a chain. It was from a hunt earlier in the year; you saved him and never let it go.

Dean and Cas got you normal-ish ornaments that held a memory from this year, but Sam’s was a little different. It was a string on a hook. He said that he’d explain it later, but for now, it was just that--a string.

You guys continued the night’s celebrations by having dessert and drinking the night away. Nothing warmed your heart more than seeing these men, who were normally had so much bullshit on their plate that they were constantly preoccupied with saving the world, smiling and laughing. They were letting everything go, if only for tonight.

There was a point where the music got slower, and the four of you settled down a little bit. You were surrounding the table, which now only held your drinks and a speaker. Dean and Cas were seated in two of the chairs, you were on the table itself, and Sam was making a drink. When he came out, he set the glasses down and then held the string from earlier.

There was something about the way Sam was looking at you. You knew that look--it was full of love and it said “I would do anything for you”. At first, you thought that it was just the liquor hitting him, but then he started talking.

“I have hated almost everything on this planet at some point or another,” He started. “But never you. Even when I was soulless, even when everything was falling apart, I had you.”

“Sam, where are you going with this?” You asked cautiously. He wasn’t sober right now--not entirely drunk, either, but definitely inebriated.

He gives a soft laugh before continuing. “You’ve been there for me through everything, even when it would’ve been safer for you to leave. What I’m trying to get at, I guess, is that we don’t know how much longer we’ll be around. And I really want you to be here, with me, until we don’t have any more tomorrows.” He looks down at the string, sets it beside you on the table, and then pulls a ring out of his pocket. Getting down on one knee, he looks up at you with the most hopeful eyes you had ever seen. “I know that legally we can’t get married since I’m on the FBI’s most wanted list, and we don’t have the money for an actual wedding, but will you marry me?”

“Sam, are you serious right now?” You asked, a large smile on your face. You took a quick glance to the three men in the room, seeing their equally big smiles. You look back at this man in front of you, on one knee, holding a ring up to you and asking for your hand. Words aren’t coming to you right now, so you just nod your head and wait for him to stand up so that you could hug him. You hold each other tightly, enveloping yourself in everything Sam has to offer. After he pulls away, he puts the ring on your finger and kisses your hand, and you have to stifle back tears of happiness.

Sam then grabs the string and forms a loose knot with it, holding one end out for you to take. You do, and together you pull it tight. The string made sense now. He wanted to tie the knot with you.

Dean and Cas are cheering you both on, which makes you laugh. “Alright, get over here,” Dean said, waving you to where he was. “I gotta get a dance with my new favorite sibling,” He smiles.

You and Dean share a dance while Sam and Cas talked on the opposite side of the room.

“He’s been wanting to ask you for months,” Dean mentioned. “He was just waiting for the perfect moment.”

“I love you guys so much,” You smiled. After the song was over, you did the same thing with Cas.

“I’m happy for you guys,” Cas smiled.

“I want you to walk me down whatever make-shift aisle we have,” You tell him. “I know you aren’t exactly a father to me, but you’re my best friend.” It was true. It wasn’t like you had any family to witness it or walk you down the aisle. It was just you, Dean, Sam, and Cas. And that was all you needed. The most important people were there to celebrate with you.

Finally, after your dance with Castiel was over, it was Sam’s turn.

“Thank you,” He muttered, leaning his forehead against yours.

“I love you,” You responded, leaning into his touch.

“I love you, too,” He smiled, gently kissing you.

Sam was absolutely right when he said that tomorrow is never promised. You fought monsters for a living; there was no telling when one of them would win. But, as long as there was a tomorrow, you would spend it by Sam’s side.

#strings #sam winchester #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fan fiction #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester fanfic #supernatural fan fic

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 4 years

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MY ENTIRE HEART IS IN A PUDDLE ON THE GROUND. YES YES Y E S

A Permanent Hug (from You)

Pairing: Sam x Reader Warnings: Nothing just teet-rotting fluff A/N: It’s unbeta’d, it’s fluffy and it’s also 4 am and I wanted to write a little drabble on this song. It’s shit but that’s okay. Enjoy :)

Thanks so much for a beautiful night that’s okay, hope you get back alright In fact, it’s pretty dark it’s pretty chilly out there tonight.

I’ll be fine, I’ll be smiling all the way shivering maybe, but that’s okay cause I’ve got the memories to keep me happy and warm

“So…” I smiled brightly up at the tall man next to me. His hand was holding mine, long fingers enveloping mine in a comforting warmth. Too bad it wasn’t warming up the rest of me, cause Damn was I shivering. “Thanks for taking me out tonight, I had an amazing time.” I instinctively squeezed his hand.

“You’re shivering” Sam stated concerned.

“Nah it’s okay, my house is close anyways. It’s a little chilly but I’ll manage” I’ll be smiling all the way, because of you, don’t worry. I wanted to say but this was after all our third date, I didn’t want to freak him out.

You came forward and looked me in the eye I can feel your breath You can hear me sigh

Take my jumper Wear it, you’ll need it on the train home.

And everyone will know That I’ve been in love, tonight A permanent hug from you.

Sam stepped closer. His breath hit my face, smelling of buttery popcorn and coke with a hint of mint. I sighed from the closeness, not registering his arms moving before he was draping his jumper around my shoulders.

“Wear it. You’ll need it. And I hope you’re aware I’m walking you home. I’m not a douche” He smiled a bright smile and honestly, nothing sounded better that wearing Sam for the next minutes.

“What about you?” I asked, arms sliding in the oversized piece of clothing, heart swimming in the amazing smell of Sam on it. Spontaneously, Sam’s arm went around my waist and pulled me closer. I gasped a little but grinned up at him.

“With you right here, I’ll be perfect” He shrugged with a smile, head dipping down to rest against mine. I breathed, grin still on my face, stomach swarming with those damn butterflies.

Sam was that awkward, shy, adorable and incredibly lovable dude from the library. I’d glance at him from behind my book from the first moment he walked in. A couple of weeks in I grew a pair and approached him and the rest is history, as they say.

Now, for the first time ever, my lips touched his in a gentle kiss that set fire to every molecule of my being.

“I’ve been meaning to do that for a while” He breathed.

“I’m glad you acted on it” I smiled wide and pecked his lips again.

“You look better in this thing than I ever will” His hand tugged at the material and a blush spread on my cheeks, before I quietly thanked him, held his hand and started walking again.

Less than ten minutes later we were standing in the porch of my house, in each other’s arms, smiling like teenagers that just got their first kiss.

“When will I see you again?” I whispered, conversation sank between toothy grins and rosy cheeks in the misty night.

“Whenever you want” He pecked my lips again and held me for a second. I went to take off his jumper before he shook his head “No, no, keep it” I looked up at him

“You sure?”

“One hundred percent” He smiled. I kissed him again before we parted with whispered goodnights.

So here I am My mind is going wild I’m smelling you constantly Oh the desire, for you to be here like you were just seconds ago

And I feel like I’ve stepped out of this world Into a rom-com A novel ‘Cause I am a girl who’s in love And I’m wearing your jumper tonight

The second I stepped through the door I squealed, burying my nose in the fabric that enveloped me entirely. It smelled like him and my mind span in vicious circles, repeating the memories of this wonderful night that I just had. I had to restrain myself from calling him and telling him to stay with me because it was too soon and I knew it. But, jesus, I really wanted him to be here, instead of his jumper. For now though, I’d take it.

I had to be out of reality, this is not me talking, this is a stupid teenage girl from a rom-com. It had to be.

I sighed in content and walked to my bedroom, falling on my bed with a dreamy sigh and a stupid grin on my face.

I may be alone right now But I’ll be soon in your arms And not just the material ones I’ll be wearing you For days Until once again we will say

Thanks so much for a beautiful night, That’s okay, hope you get back alright In fact, it’s pretty dark, it’s pretty chilly out there, tonight.

I curled up, kicking my shoes off my feet and wearing my pajamas, with Sam’s jumper on top of everything, his smell surrounding me beautifully.

I couldn’t wait to see him again and I was sure that this material of clothing was my favorite and from then on would be practically second skin.

My phone notified me of a new text and I pressed the on button to check it

Sam: Goodnight gorgeous.

My stomach did all sorts of slips as I squealed and buried my nose in the fabric again, happier than I’ve ever been

Me: Goodnight <3

And it certainly will be with you on my mind.

Tags: @imagining-supernatural @impala-dreamer @percywinchester27

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 4 years

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Hi, quick reminder that just because you may have been diagnosed with that mental illness recently does not mean that you haven’t been struggling since you were young with it. Majority of mental illnesses aren’t MEANT to be known about (DID, OSDD, etc). People are diagnosed at 10 years old. People are also diagnosed at 50 and there is no “right” age to be diagnosed with a mental illness.

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 4 years

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I’m Better

Title: I’m Better

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,151

Warnings: NSFW, Male Receiving

Summary: Dean walks in on the reader sucking on a candy cane, he cant help but fantasize about what you would look like sucking something else instead.

Prompt: Candy Cane

A/N: Day 4 of 25 here. Again, if you would like to be tagged in the 25 days of Christmas thing i have going on, please send me an ask.

Dean wandered around the kitchen, looking for anything else that might be out of place or anything he might have forgot to put away when he was cleaning it. The kitchen was his sanctuary, he loved having one. Sam and Y/N didn’t complain either. They both loved his cooking, more so because they couldn’t do so themselves. That and Dean didn’t let anyone near his kitchen. Thankful that it was done, he rubbed his hands along his denim clad thighs and headed to the library.

When he got to the library he stopped in his tracks. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. There she was, his best friend Y/N, sitting at the far table in the library. Her feet were propped up on the table, her sock covered feet wiggling in the air. That’s not what got him. No. What got him was what she was doing. She had a candy cane, a good sized candy cane in her mouth. Her lips wrapped around the small peppermint flavour sugar stick. And fuck did she look attractive doing it.

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 4 years

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A Call For Help

Title: A Call For Help

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,447

Warnings: Mentions of Almost Relapse, Mentions of Self Harm, Depression, Sadness, Fluff.

A/N: I’m sorry but I needed to get this out. This is more for me than anything else. Feedback is appreciated :)

Your name: submit What is this? <![CDATA[// <![CDATA[ document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', myHandler); function myHandler() { var v = document.body.innerHTML; var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt").value; v = v.replace(/\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, input); document.body.innerHTML = v; } // ]]]]><![CDATA[>]]>

Pacing. Back and forth, back and forth, itching, craving, longing for that desperate release that would take that horrendous weight off of your shoulders. They were right there, sitting in a clear plastic bag on your desk. You looked over at them every second you wanted to do it, in fact, you could barely take your eyes off of them. They were so shiny and clean and completely unused. They were calling out for you, practically begging for your attention, you wrist doing the exact same. You needed it, you wanted it so damn bad.

You grabbed the bag off of your desk, examining the small silver blades. There had to be six of seven in the bag. The bag you had Dean hide in his room. In all honesty, you had no idea why he hadn’t just thrown them out instead of hiding them. You found them within ten minutes, but you blamed that on you knowing the older Winchester like the back of your hand.

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 4 years

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Ice Cream and Impala Talks

Title: Ice Cream and Impala Talks

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,137

Request by @fangirl131996 : I was wondering if you could do a Dean and reader fic where he gets all protective when a guy gets a little handsy at a bar and then helps her through her anxiety.

Warnings: Anxiety, Fluff

A/N: I hope y’all enjoy this one, this one is for a close friend. I hold this one close to me and those of you who unfortunately suffer from anxiety will know the feeling. Anyway, please let me know what you think :) Happy almost Friday y’all!!

A bar. That’s where the three of you ended up. After a long day filled with pointless research and unnecessary arguments over the useless research, the three of you needed to take the edge off, at least before one of you gets so frustrated that they start throwing punches; and by they, you mean Dean. It was his idea to head to a bar, go figures, but you and Sam were behind it one hundred percent.

The three of you sat at the front of the bar, each nursing your own beer. The bar was filled with old drunk men trying to hit on the busty blonde bartender, along with any other woman that came into sight. Luckily you were with both Winchester’s, most men in their right mind wouldn’t dare start something with either of them. You felt safe with both of them beside you.

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 4 years

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 4 years

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Constellations

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: angst lol

Summary: The reader has a chat with God

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 4 years

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ALSO IM SCREAMING BECAUSE ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS @littledarlinhavefaithinme FOLLOWED ME?!!? AHHH!

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 4 years

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The day I don’t reblog this is the day I’m deceased

San Diego

DeanxReader song!fic

Song: https://youtu.be/YnNPRgjnUOM

Beta: @hardertobreatheat-night Word count: 1286

A/N: I meant to post this like last week but life and such happened and I just didn’t want to write/edit anything. But now that life is being a week bit nicer to my face(knock on wood as to not jinx myself) I shall gift you lovely people with my awkwardness! Once again, thank you to the lovely @hardertobreatheat-night, I would be cringe worthy without you!

~~~•~~~

“Shotgun!” You shouted and claimed with the remaining energy you had left as you were a few steps away from the Impala, Dean walking beside you.

“Ya know what, after all that I don’t even care.” Sam said with a tired smirk.

Dean gently grabbed you by the elbow and took your gear from the vampire hunt you all had just victoriously finished. He kissed your forehead and motioned with his head for you to get in the car. Even after more than four years together, he still managed you make you blush. You curled up in the front seat and pulled out your phone from the glove department along with the cassette adapter Sam had gotten and proceeded to pull up your music. You and Dean always had different taste in music, although occasionally overlapping. Surprisingly enough, he would even disregard his “driver picks the music and shotgun shuts his cakehole” rule once and a while, but usually only when it was the two of you in the car.

“You know the rules, Y/N.” Sam said lying down in the back seat and laughing a little.

“Just wait, Sammy.”

You had made this particular playlist for those random and few occasions you got to control the music, a mix of his and your personal favorites. It reminded you of times spent together over the years. Dean slid into the driver’s seat, his eyes locking on the device for a second, but he didn’t say anything and started the car. You took that as your cue to start the music which started off with one of his favorite Led Zeppelin songs before moving on to AC/DC. You snuggled into Dean’s side, got comfy and sang along to the music under your breath. Then, one of your new favorites began to play.

Sometimes I wonder where our lives go

And question who we used to be

Sometimes I feel like I’m the oxygen between

The cigarette and gasoline I can’t sleep cause what if I dream

Of going back to San Diego W

e bought a one-way ticket

So we can go see the Cure

And listen to our favorite songs in the parking lot

And think of every person I ever lost in San Diego (San Diego)

Can’t go back to San Diego

(Can’t go back to San Diego)

Abandoned houses with the lights on

Late at night I call your name

Abandoned love songs smashed across the hardwood floors

I read the sadness on your face

This is the first time you played this song for Dean, but you knew he knew it was by one of your favorite bands; he had a great ear for that kind of thing. At this point, he had one hand on the wheel and his right arm around you.

The chorus always made you think of the time a couple of months before you two had started dating. You had met three years before that; three years since you left your home town. A lot can happen in three years. Little did you know at the time that night he planned to ask you out. But, life had other plans. That night you found out that your best friend had moved out of state, your dad that you weren’t all that close to had died of a heart attack and your dog of old age. Your home town had a few less buildings and old houses, a spot that used to be gravel was now a boardwalk, and the highway had a new exit. So Dean seeing the effect this had on you took you to a concert. It was a sold out show, but he parked the Impala close by and you guys laid on the hood listening to the music over the roar of the crowd and stared at the stars. Even though so many things had changed, you took solace in the fact that Dean was there beside you, and he was the one thing that never changed.

The next night you were two states away, taking care of a simple and sad salt and burn. A couple; the woman had died by the hands of a drunk driver, her husband became a vengeful spirit after drinking himself to death. In the house, love letters she had written to him and about him were strewn all over. And on the coffee table, a neat stack of love notes, poems, and quotes all describing her along with his wedding ring on top.

I can’t sleep cause what if I dream

Of going back to San Diego

We bought a one-way ticket

So we can go see the cure

And listen to our favorite songs in the parking lot

And think of every person I ever lost in San Diego (San Diego)

Can’t go back to San Diego

(Can’t go back to San Diego)

I never needed to hear

All of the pain and the fear

Your secrets filled up my ears

Like the ocean blue I never wanted to know

How deep these cuts on you go

And like a river they flow

To the ocean blue

There was a hunt, two years into knowing each other, that hit you harder than all the others before. A demon, who for some reason reminded you of your dad, maybe it was the way he slung his insults at you, or maybe it was poor souls’ eyes that he was possessing. But either way you froze. He mentioned your dad and how he could see the scars on your soul from him. How you were going to end up just like him and therefor the Winchesters would abandon you. If Dean hadn’t come to and finished exorcising him, you would have been dead. That night you ended up explaining to Dean your entire screwed up existence and why you had welcomed hunting with open arms. He listened to all of the pain you endured from your father, the fear of not being able to help your mom and letting down your grandparents even though they weren’t alive to see your mishaps and failures.

Going back to San Diego

We bought a one-way ticket

So we can go and see the Cure

And listen to our favorite songs in the parking lot

And think of every person that I ever lost in San Diego (San Diego)

Can’t go back to San Diego

(Can’t go back to San Diego)

The song came to an end as you pulled up to the motel, although you were too lost in thought to notice. Dean’s pulled you a little closer into his side and kissed the top of your head before reaching back to tap Sam on the shoulder and let him know we were back so he could get some proper sleep.

“You guys coming?” He asked as he noticed that we hadn’t moved yet.

“Yeah, we’ll be in soon enough, go on ahead and get some sleep,” Dean replied.

He replayed the song and drove us to the nearest field that wasn’t too far away and pulled out an unlabeled tape and replaced the cassette adaptor with it. He pulled you out of the car and sat you on the edge of the hood before going back into the car and rolling down the windows and turning up the volume. As soon as the first notes hit your ears you recognized it as the songs that were played at the concert you guys had gone to. He came back to the hood of the car and laid down on it with you. Sure you couldn’t go back to “San Diego” but the best part of it was right beside you.

Taging: @d-s-winchester @aprofoundbondwithdean

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abaddons-right-hand-queen · 4 years

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*GIF’s are not mine and credit goes to the awesome original creators*

It’s You

Pairing: DeanxReader Beta: @hardertobreatheat-night Word count: 2448 Tags: @d-s-winchester @aprofoundbondwithdean @spnrecs @spnreclists @supernaturalrecs @deanreaderreblog @deanwritings Author’s Note: Hey ya’ll sorry this is way overdue. I just finished my last college exam today so that means more writing time for me! I hope ya’ll enjoy this and I believe this is my best one yet. The part in italics is Dean’s memories just so ya’ll know. Keepin’ it short and sweet with the author’s note, I’ve kept ya’ll waiting long enough.

Without further ado…

Sam’s words echoed in my head as I sat behind the wheel of Baby. Head back, eyes closed, and listening to the rain pound ferociously on the roof. I thought the drive would clear my head like usual as the tires ate the miles of pavement beneath them. Not this time though. Not when I was thinking about Y/N. When I pushed her away after Bobby died, I thought I was doing the right thing, saving her from a life that I didn’t even want to be a part of. Once I was sent to Purgatory, I was only more convinced of my decision. In my eyes she was too pure to deal with the horrors and monsters I had seen and dealt with on a daily basis. She was a badass but she was also soft and a light in my too often dim world and I didn’t want a damn thing dimming her fucking shine.

Jamming the key forward in the ignition, I restarted Baby in frustration. Maybe if I just checked up on her, made sure she was safe, or as much as it would hurt, see her with someone else, maybe then my mind would shut up and stop racing with thoughts of her. I stomped my foot on the gas, the tires sliding with lack of friction from the rain for a second before finally gaining traction. I turned on the radio and as fate would have it her favorite song came on, for once I turned it up and listened to it blare through the speakers as I applied a bit more pressure to the pedal beneath my right foot. Letting my mind drown in thoughts of her and our past together as I drove.

I thought about the first time I met her, a vampire hunt. One nearly nabbed her outside the bar she worked at after closing up. Seeing resolve in her eyes instead of fear was what got my attention. She was different. She pulled out a hidden pocket knife, stabbing him in the upper thigh, stunning him, before twisting the blade and pulling it out. I nodded my head behind me letting her know to get out of here and get safe, she ran towards Sam and I. I remember the smell of her sweet perfume mixed with the smell of alcohol from the drinks she had been making and serving that night as she dashed past me and to her car. Sam and I beheaded the bloodsucker. After a successful hunt we would usually head out the next morning and on to the next hunt, but I couldn’t get her out of my head. There was just something about her E/C eyes that haunted my mind and I headed out the bar, hoping she would be working. Luck was on my side that afternoon because as soon as I opened the door I saw her standing behind the bar, completing last minute opening activities. She looked up at me and smiled before she even really looked, that smile barely faltering as she made eye contact with me and recognized me from the night before.

“What can I do for my best and first customer of the day?”

“Beer and a good conversation with a beautiful woman like yourself would do just fine.”

She smirked as she replied while she fixed up my beer, “I’m not a biscuit, don’t butter me up like one.”

Her humor immediately reeled me in, and in that moment I knew I was screwed. Just as I had asked though, after I fully explained to her what happened last night, what Sam and I do for living, she didn’t end up running away screaming. We had a good conversation… great actually. But as all things eventually do, it came to an end as business started picking and we both knew it with one look. But right before I left she called my name and handed me a piece of paper. “In case you find yourself in need of good conversation,” she said with a wink before turning away and taking care of customers, leaving me no time to respond. I walked out dumbfounded that I got her number without asking, I know I’m smooth, but I ain’t that smooth. I ended up calling her the next morning, delaying our leave again, and asking her out for coffee. Luck was still on my side considering she said yes and had the day off, a rare occurrence for her. Little did we realize at the time the impromptu date we had that day since our day together wouldn’t end with coffee.

We walked around town. She pointed out things around the downtown area of the small town, filling me in with personal stories of her own. The day eventually turned into night and neither of us hinted at wanting to leave. She offered a movie at her place, which lead to her in my arms on the couch. I didn’t make love to her that night and I didn’t when we both woke up that morning tangled together on her couch. That came later, a couple months later when I came back to visit her yet again, although this time after a rough hunt, but I didn’t leave without our first kiss.

I still remember knocking on her door at three in the morning, I usually would have just grabbed a motel room or slept in Baby until morning but I knew she had just gotten off work since I texted her and she told me she’d wait up for me. She answered the door and pulled me inside, instantly wrapping her arms around me like I would disappear any second. Her hair still damp from the shower, the smell of her minty shampoo and conditioner and her floral body wash invading my nostrils. She was wearing a t-shirt I left behind on one of my previous visits with her and a pair of shorts. I still remember her soft voice, mumbling into my chest as she continued to hug me, ask me if I wanted to talk about it.

She always offered to listen if I needed her to, reminding me that it was okay but I always declined. I only ever wanted to see her smile. I just hooked my fingers under her chin and slowly and gently raised her face up to look at me. I looked her right in the eyes and held her gaze for a solid couple of seconds before I slowly looked down at her lips, committing everything I gazed upon to memory. The slope of her nose with her silver hoop on the right nostril, her soft pink lips that felt like kissing rose petals. I didn’t realize I leaned in closer until I could smell the scent of her spearmint mouthwash on her breath. I looked back up to her stunning E/C eyes. She leaned in closer and I met her the rest of the way. Our lips meeting in the middle.

At first it was slow, sweet, and filled with love but soon for whatever reason it became more passionate and urgent, her arms came up to rest on my shoulders, her hands meeting behind my neck gently pulling me closer to her. My hands on her waist pulled her body close to mine, one hand sliding down to her hip, resting there and holding her body close to mine. She took a small step backwards, pulling me with her never parting our lips. We made our way through the one-bedroom apartment like that towards her bedroom until her knees hit the back of her bed, pulling me down with her as she lost a bit of her balance. I shot my arms out so we wouldn’t bang our heads together and that was the first time our lips parted. Slightly panting, we stared into each other’s eyes. She reached her hand behind my neck and pulled my face towards hers to resume kissing. Kissing quickly lead to making out as she kissed the corner of my jaw down my neck running her hands down my chest to the hem of my shirt, tugging on it to let me know she wanted it off. I stood up and took it off. Leaning back down to her, my left forearm beside her head supporting my weight, I looked into her eyes and asked her if she was sure. She gazed back into my eyes, hers filled with love, and told me, “More than anything in my life.” I kissed her with as much passion and love than I could have fathomed, my right hand on her hip, squeezing it, there were bound to be finger prints there in the morning. Her left hand squeezed my bicep while her right hand rested behind my neck. My right hand trailed up from her hip and underneath my shirt she wore to rest on the soft skin of the side of her waist as I trailed kisses from her mouth down the left side of her neck, biting when I reached the curve of her neck and shoulder, I heard her gasp with pleasure. The first of many noises she would be making that night. The feel of her silky smooth legs against mine and the softness of her skin against my chest. Not just some primal need, lust or a way to blow off steam. That night was spent making love to each other, a tangle of limbs and sheets. That was the night after the rough hunt that I realized for the first time I had something to live for besides the protective older brother role that I thought would be the only role I fulfilled in my life. It was the first time since Lisa that I loved someone and made love to someone. It was the first time since Lisa that I realized I could have a life outside of hunting with someone so utterly amazing. And it was the next morning that I slowly started realizing that that never worked out with Lisa, and that she nearly died because of my selfish way. And I would be damned if that happened to y/n.

So it was after that night that I started distancing myself, slowly but surely. I didn’t want to but I didn’t want her getting hurt even more. It went against everything inside me pulling away from her. My chest feeling tight with every action. But the images of Lisa hurt seared into my brain pushed me on, because I didn’t want similar images of her haunting me to. Not when I could do something about it now. I hated myself for getting this close to her, for inevitably hurting her when I would ultimately break things off.

After Bobby died, I couldn’t make excuses any longer and I couldn’t prolong what I thought was the right thing to do. I told myself it’s now or never, I had just stopped saying I love you on the phone either hanging up before we could get to it or just saying a quick you too. I could tell she knew something was up. After all, she knew me too well. The day came and I couldn’t get air in my lungs, it felt like I had a vise around my chest. I felt empty. I was a miserable son of a bitch to be around after that. I drank straight from the bottle in the back seat of Baby, not wanting to talk to Sam and not being able to go to a bar without thinking of you. That’s when I found her sweater slightly underneath the seat. It still smelled like her.

After that there was stabbing Dick and getting my ass sent to purgatory. I was nearly grateful that I broke things off with her then because at least she wouldn’t have to worry about where I was and how I was going to get out, let alone when or if. I was ecstatic this was not something she’d have to experience, and as I spent time there to get out I was glad she wouldn’t have to put up with the person that would be coming back to her.

The words Sam said still rattled in my brain as I stopped strolling through memory lane as I pulled into her town.

“Worry about your own love life and stay out of mine!”

“Don’t go there with me Sam, I had to protect her. “

“Who do you want standing next to you at the end of the day? Who makes you smile? Who is the first person you think of when something good happens and who will you stand to be around when your walls come crumbling down? Because I know. You’ve been miserable without her and you haven’t had your head on straight since. She kept you sane man, so how about you go get her before it’s too late. And don’t give me that bullshit that you’re protecting her, she can hold her own pretty decently in a fight. Besides, she should have a say in the matter anyway.” Sam tore into me as he walked out of the motel.

I was parked in the street outside of her apartment, it was half past three in the morning, and I was staring at your lightless windows like a creep. I leaned my head on the steering wheel as our song softly played through the speakers, my mind once again getting lost in thoughts of her.

“Fancy having a good conversation with a beautiful woman?” She said as I whipped my head towards where she sat in the passenger seat. “You’re either getting rusty or I’m really good considering you didn’t notice me ‘til just now Dean.” She added trying to be humorous but I could hear the tiredness laced in her words, not just the physical tiredness with a need for sleep but a tiredness that resides in your soul with a need for peace. I looked at her, committing every single inch of her body to memory until I finally reached her eyes.

“It’s you.” My voice croaked in a whisper. She looked at me questionably.

“It’s you.” I said more clearly, continuing on with; “you’re the one I want standing next to me at the end of the day. You’re the one who makes me smile. You’re the first person I think of when something good happens, and you’re the one I want around when my walls come crumbling down. You’re the one I can’t stand to live this God forsaken life without. It’s you.”

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