aasthamoon - Tumblr blog

aasthamoon · 6 hours

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Music is all we have

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aasthamoon · 6 hours

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@teeskz They just keep cumming- I-I mean coming

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aasthamoon · 22 hours

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when you are in love with someone you want to wrap their voice around you like a handmade shawl

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aasthamoon · 6 days

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Morning Coffee.

Despite that cold anchor of grief that sits within my chest, the warmth through the mug in my hands is my reference for reality. Breathe in, breathe out. I can watch it all from the corner of the room, the way I rock back and forth with my morning coffee. With feelings of fear, there is a pollution of the mind that infects me. I do see the mug in front of me one moment but after I blink, I’m even farther away than I was before.

I see my own back in my desk chair.

Chains are clanging somewhere and the scratching on the door only serves to make me more electric.

Right behind me, right behind me, right behind me.

TV static spreads across my brain, draining my thoughts out all at once and as it all dies away, I have nothing left but the black. Shadows move around. Faster than the speed of light, they’re crawling up my back. Their nails bring biting fire to my skin. I blink.

I’m back at my desk, holding my cup of coffee. I picked out my favorite mug today, a bowl-shaped thing, the color of cream and covered in etchings of bluebirds and flowers. The coffee wasn’t hot anymore and the flat, lukewarm taste of the stuff coating my tongue was fitting. Mediocre and not what I wanted, much like how the days have been.

I blink.

I am across the room again and I’m sitting on my bed, in the farthest corner that I can get into. I feel scared. I’m sitting at the desk and now on the bed and I know that I am real, but I don’t know if the me that I see at the desk is real. Maybe it’s a dream or maybe I’m high. I have always feared the moment in my life when I completely detach myself from reality, letting my shadows ruin my life. I would scream at everybody I know, airing out every single horrible thought I had about them.

Is it okay that I thought about killing you, me? Is it okay that I finally scream it at my mother over Christmas dinner? Maybe I would indulge in all of the awful thoughts I have. I’m so scared my awful thoughts will win.

When I wake up at my desk, it is nearly 4 pm. I sat down to work around 10 am.

I do not remember sitting down here. Nothing I require for work is present, I don’t have my computer or agenda. I can’t not see my phone nor can I find my purse. I turn around, immediately noticing the TV screen smashed in, shattered and covering the carpet. The lights are ripped out of the ceiling, exposed wires are hanging down around me and I hear screaming from downstairs but I can’t get up. I can’t move.

I can only watch, shaking and desperate on my bed, the shadows finally breaking down the bedroom door. They smash the windows and force feed the glass to me as I’m sitting at the desk. I throw up blood. I am watching myself throw up blood.

I blink.

I look down at my coffee. The color of sand is so hot that my fingers are starting to burn, so I drop the mug.

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aasthamoon · 6 days

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i am a piece of meat

TW: mention of sharp objects, injuries, plucking hairs

as a child, i would pick at the hairs in the slab of pork belly meat which sat on my plate. it disgusted me. my grandma assured me it was safe to eat, just pluck the hairs out — one by one. i’d lay them neatly at the side of my porcelain plate.

when i got older and hair started to grow on my legs, i did not know what to do. the first time i wanted to trim my leg hairs, i took a sharp pair of scissors to my calf. that day, i cut of a small chunk of my flesh. i never did that again.

once i hit my teenage years, waxing was a familiar routine. i grew to love the sensation of sticking and stripping wax off my skin. the routinely, stick, peel, rip, rub of the process. afterwards, i’d feel like a porcelain doll.

for troublesome hairs, i find myself tweezing them out with a definitely not sterile pair of tweezers. once, my partner came over and asked what they were, i got so flustered i told them i use it to clean my nails. they laughed and told me “it’s okay i pluck my hairs too when i get bored.”

today, i pluck the hairs on my body, disgusted by each strand of thick black keratin. i am disgusted by myself. by my body. i am a piece of meat.

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aasthamoon · 7 days

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reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something

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aasthamoon · 12 days

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Chen Chen

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aasthamoon · 12 days

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i was built to give and

i was built to love.

I’m attracted to safety.

Venting about shitty men after a long tiresome day to the most beautiful person you've ever seen and you know however bad everything maybe, your person will be there to support you, no matter what.

You know your feelings are safe as you lay your head on his shoulders. He listens to your vents and your sighs, all the while holding you gently in his bulked, warm arms, stroking your hair. And you get to protect him just the same.

There is no judgement, there is no danger, there is only love. Safety. That’s all I want. The romance of safety in my lover's arms.

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aasthamoon · 12 days

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Hi thank you so much for making a Blair Waldorf guide for me , please do on how to study like Blair Waldorf as well 🥺

study like blair waldorf

time management

prioritize effectiveness. work smarter. make a list of your daily tasks and simplify from there. which tasks absolutely need to be completed today? do them first. how much effort does each task require? do the high effort, longer tasks first.

persevere

don’t be afraid to admit when you don’t understand something, but don’t give up either. always be willing to learn and have an open mind to new ideas or ways of thinking. even if it requires extra time or effort, do everything you can to be the absolute best you can be.

stay prepared

research and study the topic at hand precisely. study what is given to you, but don’t be afraid to look deeper. expect the unexpected.

keep going no matter what

we all know what it’s like to know you need to study but you’re feeling tired, sad, stressed. while it’s important to give your brain and body time to rest and recover, sometimes it is best to stick it out. get what you need done, done.

use all resources given to you

i know it’s easy to only do what is asked of you (like assignments and modules), but if you are given extra resources, use them! whether it be text books, extra videos, etc., chances are you will need them at some point or wish you had reviewed them during an exam!

confidence

sometimes confidence is half the battle. you’ve done all your readings, assignments, homework, etc., but you’re still feeling like you haven’t done enough or don’t know enough. trust yourself. if you’ve done the work, no one can take your knowledge away from you.

take breaks when needed, but know when it’s time to come back

don’t be afraid to pause your studying for what you need. food, a power nap, more coffee, a walk, a stretch; all these things may be needed during a long study session. pause, but don’t stop. don’t get too comfortable and stop way before you planned. take what you need and keep going.

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aasthamoon · 12 days

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Hi thank you so much for making a Blair Waldorf guide for me , please do on how to study like Blair Waldorf as well 🥺

study like blair waldorf

time management

prioritize effectiveness. work smarter. make a list of your daily tasks and simplify from there. which tasks absolutely need to be completed today? do them first. how much effort does each task require? do the high effort, longer tasks first.

persevere

don’t be afraid to admit when you don’t understand something, but don’t give up either. always be willing to learn and have an open mind to new ideas or ways of thinking. even if it requires extra time or effort, do everything you can to be the absolute best you can be.

stay prepared

research and study the topic at hand precisely. study what is given to you, but don’t be afraid to look deeper. expect the unexpected.

keep going no matter what

we all know what it’s like to know you need to study but you’re feeling tired, sad, stressed. while it’s important to give your brain and body time to rest and recover, sometimes it is best to stick it out. get what you need done, done.

use all resources given to you

i know it’s easy to only do what is asked of you (like assignments and modules), but if you are given extra resources, use them! whether it be text books, extra videos, etc., chances are you will need them at some point or wish you had reviewed them during an exam!

confidence

sometimes confidence is half the battle. you’ve done all your readings, assignments, homework, etc., but you’re still feeling like you haven’t done enough or don’t know enough. trust yourself. if you’ve done the work, no one can take your knowledge away from you.

take breaks when needed, but know when it’s time to come back

don’t be afraid to pause your studying for what you need. food, a power nap, more coffee, a walk, a stretch; all these things may be needed during a long study session. pause, but don’t stop. don’t get too comfortable and stop way before you planned. take what you need and keep going.

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aasthamoon · 13 days

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Dino in concert~

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aasthamoon · 14 days

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barbenheimer 💖💣

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aasthamoon · 17 days

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i was born fortunate.

struggles in my daily life prevent me from being completely grateful of all that i am, and all that i have. but more often than never, i remind myself, ‘i was born fortunate.’

i was born fortunate to have been nurtured and warm in my mother’s arms.

i was born fortunate to have been and still be educated on what’s right and wrong.

i was born fortunate to have a wise aunt who introduced the movie ‘12 Years A Slave’ to me at 10 in 2013.

i was born fortunate to baske in the freedom my ancestors fought so hard for in our long past.

i was born fortunate to occupy my very motherland that foreign oppressors and invaders once took from us.

i was born fortunate to be in the safety of my own home. with food. electricity. water. and everything i need.

i was born fortunate. but my Palestinian brothers and sisters, are not.

i like to believe that i’m restrained and incapable to extend my help but how could i complain, when the rest of them have lost their lives. when the rest of them have half their bodies buried in the rubble.

when they have nothing else to look forward nor be thankful for. no family, a bleak future, with allies and neighbors that seem more like enemies. and all they’re holding on to is a tiny gleam of hope that it all goes quiet. that it’s done. and they no longer have to fight a war they’re losing.

i want to hope that people in need of promise and help be delivered this. it might not be interesting nor written by a renowned writer, but it’s a heartfelt letter by a 20-year-old Asian who’s hoping that this message reaches where and who it should touch.

i grieve for all we have lost and continue to lose.

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aasthamoon · 17 days

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idk poetry romance things?

You know sometimes I think about the names I give my gf and the names she gives to me.

She is my moon. Im her sun.

And considering we are long distance, it got me thinking.

The moon never sees the sun. Not in person. The sun never sees the moon. But somehow the reflect each other. Opposites but made to match. One is soft, gentle, a dark feminine thing of the night. The other a vibrant, energetic loud thing of the day. They cause each other to shine. And that’s how I would describe my relationship with her.

We may be far apart but let everyone know our names.

She is my moon and I am her sun. opposites but made to match <3

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aasthamoon · 17 days

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And sometimes it gets me

When crossing your jet stream

We both did the best we could do

Underneath the same moon

In different galaxies

🤍

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