a-real-fast-goose
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look at me I chose a galaxy background woo
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she said hi sorry do you mind if i give birth in your boat real quick
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spiderman. opinions on rhode island
your mom rhode my island last night
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Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit
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The pencils breaking into smaller pencils
And why they treating word pencil like a slur. Reblog to scare ai losers away 🤭
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You roll up to the Wizard Battle and your opponent takes out his spellbook but it’s just one of these
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So remember how I bought a motion activated night light for the toilet?
Well the cats seem to have discovered it. So I went to for a late night piss and was greeted to an ominous sight
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How to Ride a Werewolf
Now remember, a lady rides sidesaddle, NOT astride. Your mother would be in hysterics at the very idea that a daughter of hers would ride a werewolf astride! Why, next you’ll be showing ankle…
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If Pikachu were real, it would not be a very pleasant animal. An enormous mouse that shocks you like an electric eel. I would run from these beasts
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Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated
Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-
Me: he needs to be sedated
Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-
Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off
Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate
Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him
Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him
Me:
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what if i told you that a lot of “Americanized” versions of foods were actually the product of immigrant experiences and are not “bastardized versions”
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