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*minor inconvenience*
Parr: Well this really scrambles my eggs
Boleyn, crying: Just say fuck
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Conversation
Howard: My heart gets heavy thinking about the giant trash island in the middle of the ocean.
Cleves and Aragon: Yeah England is a joke
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Conversation
Howard: Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals. We'd probably plant so many and save the planet too.
Parr: Yeah, too bad they only produce the oxygen that we breathe.
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Howard: My name is Katherine with a B, and I’ve been afraid of insects my whole life.
Aragon: Wait, wait. Where?
Howard: Where what?
Aragon: Where’s the B?
Howard: There’s a bee?!?
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Parr: I am homo...
Boleyn: *perks up* what?
Parr: ...sapien.
Boleyn: ...oh.
Parr: I’m also gay,
Boleyn: *chokes*
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Cleves: And now for the daily Gay Update with Anne Boleyn. Anne?
Boleyn: Getting gayer.
Cleves: Thanks, Anne.
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*playing kickball*
Boleyn: alright Cathy you’re done. I’m taking you out.
Parr: what? Sorry you’re not really my type—
Boleyn: No, out of the ga - wait what do you mean I’m not your type?
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*when Henry finds out K Howard is cheating*
Henry: Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of tangerines!
Howard: ...But you only gave me one tangerine.
Henry: *pulling out an axe* Yep!
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Boleyn: Grumpy, sleep-deprived Cathy is kinda cute.
Howard: Yeah, so is a mountain lion, but you don’t approach it!
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Boleyn: I refuse to be polite.
Boleyn: Or heterosexual.
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Seymour: Henry wasn’t that bad.
Other queens: Yes, he was.
Seymour: He meant well.
Other queens: No he didn’t.
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Boleyn: When I have ever bragged?
Aragon: Yesterday you called your own face “proof of God’s existence”.
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Conversation
Boleyn: If I cut off my leg and swing it at your head am I hitting you or kicking you?
Aragon: You're most likely mentally scarring me more than anything.
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Conversation
Karaoke Night
Parr: L is for the way you look at me...
Seymour: O is for the only one I see
Aragon: V is for the very very extraordinary...
Howard: Egg.
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Seymour: What’s Anne doing in the garden at 5 am?
Howard: Trying to catch a frog.
Seymour: Why?
Boleyn, armed with a pail and a hell of a lot of determination: Why not?
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Seymour: Cathy, you’re awesome. You deserve the best partner ever.
Boleyn: *zipping by on neon purple Heelys holding two cats and screeching like her head is on fire*
Parr:
Parr: I want that one.
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Boleyn: Cathy, how do i become a jellyfish?
Parr: Jellyfish have no brains. You’re already pretty close.
Cleves: okay, WOW
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