a-pigeon-is-spying-on-me
mardy
20 | she/her
1729 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
bassjunky503
Evolution
Twitter @SatinSensual503
xesceleb
Adult Stars Archive
handsomesilco
Villains defense lawyer
laws-yellow-submarine
One Piece Imagines
unitedwaterproofingaustralia
United Waterproofing
Text
"you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you" if you insist on treating me like a beast then you can't be shocked when i play the part
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
god this tickles me
(OP's tiktok here)
86K notes
·
View notes
Photo
Improbable Compatibility
Store / Patreon
130K notes
·
View notes
Text
I keep trying to write fluff and it keeps coming out either angst or... well. 😳
CW: possessiveness
The villain's apartment was terrifyingly tasteful. Every time they lured the hero back (and the hero had to admit, it was taking less luring every time) the hero was afraid to touch anything, lest they ruin the photoshoot-ready decor. And it was constantly changing. Every time the villain coaxed the hero in, there was some new piece of art on the wall, some new bloom or plant on the shelves, some new silk comforter or fancy bamboo sheets on the bed, sliding beneath them when the villain pinned them down with a toothy smile.
But the most terrifying room of all was the bathroom, and the rows and rows of bottles and jars and sprays. Every time the hero came over the villain would eventually go missing and the hero would find them in here, performing intricate rituals before the mirror.
"You really scare the hell out of me," the hero said, perched on the edge of the marble tub, towel drying their hair. "I mean, corporate sabotage is one thing, but the amount of money and brainpower that you've put into this whole deal..." They waved a hand at the line of products.
"You should be intimidated," the villain said, eye-droppering a pale brown liquid between their eyebrows and at the corners of their eyes and nose. "This serum costs more per ounce than you make in a week."
The hero shrugged cheerfully. "A Big Gulp costs more per ounce than I make in a week."
"You really need a new job," the villain sighed, reaching for the next jar. "Dare I even ask about your skin care routine?"
"Only the finest antibacterial hand soap for this face," the hero said, grin widening.
The villain shuddered as they dipped a finger into a pale pink cream. And then they paused, eyes snapping to the hero with that look that made the hairs on the hero's neck stand up. That predatory look usually meant they were about to fight or... well.
"What?" the hero said, tightening their robe belt and casually sliding onto their feet.
But when the villain rounded on them, eyes dark with intent, it was with pale pink stuff outstretched.
"Wait, hang on," the hero protested, trying to duck away. "You can't put that pricey stuff on me!"
"Oh, but I can," the villain said, easily backing the hero into the corner. They cupped the hero's face, turning it towards the light. "My house. My rules. My things to use as I see fit. Hold still now."
The hero bit their lip and shut their eyes as the villain traced lines across their cheekbones, their forehead, along the line of their jaw. The lotion was cool and the villain's hands warm as their fingers worked small circles across the skin. Not for the first time, the hero wondered if the villain had some kind of secret hypnosis powers. Something that made heroes melt under that piercing gaze and those light, steady touches.
"When you say 'your things to use,'" the hero said through a dry throat and unsteady breath. "You're talking about the lotion, right?"
"It's a cream, you heathen," the villain hummed, tilting the hero's chin higher and stroking a line down their throat mercilessly.
"You didn't answer the question," the hero squeaked.
"I didn't?" said the villain. At the collarbone their thumb dragged across the first of the hero's scars and they tsked. "How can someone as beautiful as you take such poor care of themselves?"
The hero huffed, pulled the robe a little higher. "I guess that's what I have you for," they said.
It was supposed to be flippant, but the villain's eyes went darker. "That's a tempting offer," they breathed, fingers tightening into the hero's shoulder, body pressing the hero harder into the wall. "I could take such good care of you..."
In a flick of light of light and ozone, the hero vanished, rematerializing a step behind as the villain stumbled. "In here," the hero snapped, fists clenched and heart suddenly racing. "Take care of me here. That's not an offer for more, that's when we're... here."
"Of course," the villain said immediately, stepping back, hands raised, only the slightest swallow and blink as they clamped down on themselves with that iron self-control. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep the boundaries of our, ah, arrangement."
Cautiously, the hero unclenched their fists. The villain, moving just a hair slower than normal and careful to telegraph their intentions, leaned past to pick out a different bottle from the cabinet. They were careful not to touch the hero and - dammit - the hero missed that touch.
"I was going to say the cream is all right," the villain said gently. "But I think we can do better." They popped the new bottle open and rubbed a drop between their fingers. A sharp, spicy scent filled the room. "Yes, that's more like it," they said, and turned to the hero with a startlingly meek look. "If... we can try again?"
The hero took a deep breath. It was easy to forget, sometimes, just who they were dealing with. But no. They had their boundaries and the villain was scrupulous in observing them. In here.
Slowly, the hero nodded.
The villain's smile turned toothier. "It's a body lotion," they said innocently, eyes drifting downwards.
The hero crossed their arms. "But you still have three jars and that stick thing left," they said, just as innocently. "Won't your face melt or turn green or something if you stop halfway?"
The villain chuckled again and reeled the hero in. "For you," they murmured, fingers working at the belt knot, "I'll risk a wrinkle or two."
Later, the villain slipped the lotion into the hero's bag. The hero slipped it right back out into a fancy looking vase. Boundaries. The hero was going to enforce them if it killed them.
812 notes
·
View notes
Text
reading for what in kimi raikkonen's voice
Sometimes the rats in my brain come together and start yelling “YEARNING” and in trying to appease them I ask “FOR WHAT” but they are too small so all they can say is “YEARNING” which is a very big word for such a tiny creature, even collectively
117K notes
·
View notes
Text
nico is actually so insane for comparing carlos and charles to himself and lewis and then immediately asking ferarri's race engineer if they kissed after they fought
584 notes
·
View notes
Text
i say "godspeed, soldier" way too much for someone who puts their faith in neither god nor the military
89K notes
·
View notes
Text
something about substances so strong they can only be cut by that same substance (like diamond) gets to me. the self-fulfilling prophecy of it. you can armor yourself against any and all outside threats, but you're still beholden to your own nature.
25K notes
·
View notes
Text
someone shouldve given me a hug why is this so funny (it's not)
Emotional Breakdowns Lead To Passably Poetic Ramblings
26.06.21
word count: 2.15K
I never write because I need everything I write to be evocative. I need it to be painful. What’s the point of writing something if the reader doesn’t hurt? It hurt me to write this, and I hope it hurts you to read.
Keep reading
1 note
·
View note
Text
finding out there's a frankenstein ballet and that it was in october of last year…DEVASTATING
look at this. look at these. im foaming at the mouth
126K notes
·
View notes
Text
Richard Siken, “You Are Jeff” | Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch | R.F. Kuang, Babel: An Arcane History | Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story | Benjamin Alire Saénz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe | Maggie Stievater, Call Down the Hawk | Olivie Blake, The Atlas Paradox
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay I’m currently furious that migraines are often so blindly easy to treat and I had to find this out myself at the age of 26 when I’ve been to a neurologist since I was 11 lol so I’m about to teach you two neat and fast little tricks to deal with pain!
The first is the sternocleidomastoid muscle, or the SCM muscle.
This big red section is responsible for pain around the eye, cheekbone, and jaw, as well as some temple pain. Literally all you have to do is angle your head down a little, angle it away from the side that hurts, and then you can gently pinch and rub that muscle. I find it best to start at the bottom and travel upwards. The relief is so immediate! You can increase pressure as you feel comfortable doing so.
Here is a short and easy video showing this in action
The second is a fast and easy stretch that soothes your vagus nerve, which is the nerve responsible for calming you down. The vagus nerve, for those unfamiliar, is stimulated by deep breathing such as yawning, sighing, singing, or taking a deep breath to calm your anger in a tense situation.
You can stretch this out by sitting up as straight as possible (this does not have to be perfect to work) and interlacing your fingers. Put your hands on the back of your head with your thumbs going down the sides of your neck and, while keeping your face forward, look all the way to one side with just your eyes. Hold that until you feel the urge to breathe deeply or yawn, or until you can tell there’s a change. Then do the same thing on the other side. When you put your arms down, you should clearly be able to turn your head farther in both directions. If the first session doesn’t get rid of your migraine, rest and repeat as many times as necessary. I even get a little fancy with it and roll my eyes up and down along the outer edge sometimes to stretch as much as I can.
If you need a visual here’s a good video on it. I know some of the language they use seems questionable but this is real and simple science and should not be discarded because it’s been adopted by the trendy wellness crowd!
I seriously cannot believe I didn’t hear a word of this from any doctor in my life. Additionally, if you get frequent recurring migraines, you may want to see a dietician. Migraines can be caused by foods containing histamines, lectin, etc. and can also be caused by high blood pressure in specific situations such as exercise, stress, and even sex.
If any of this information helps you I’d love to hear it btw! It’s so so fast and easy to do. Good luck!
119K notes
·
View notes
Text
my girl so morally ambiguous idk if i should call her good girl or bad girl in bed
63K notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't mean this in a dismissive "haha you've got daddy issues" way but I really am coming to suspect that most if not all people who view the opposite sex as like, fundamentally alien on a mental or emotional level really just do not have healthy family relationships. You see it with the weird Trad and Alpha Male guys who can't seem to conceive of women as fully-aware human beings instead of some sort of symbiotes who need men to guide them, you see it with the weird radfems who like to go on about men being incable of feeling real emotion and just being driven by instinct and needing to be ruled over like dogs. I just find it really difficult to imagine arriving at those worldviews if you ever had a mutually caring and respectful relationship with an opposite-sex parent or sibling.
51K notes
·
View notes
Video
499K notes
·
View notes