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The Girl That Fell Out Of A Tree
C'est la vie. Joga de capoeira. Make love not war.
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A calendar year of life-changing habits
I like to begin the year with some New Year’s Resolutions and whilst I very often veer off track quite quickly and crumple into a pile of guilt, I’ve learnt over the years that it’s not the quantity of my resolutions, but the quality, that counts. I need to make resolutions that resonate with me, become part of my day, my community. This year I’ve decided to incorporate one new habit at a time into my life. Despite being one rather fallible individual, I am extremely passionate about small change leading to big impact and here I’m setting out twelve life-changing habits that I believe are possible to make throughout the course of one calendar year. The order is not extremely important as each habit holds power on its own. The important thing is to adopt each habit fully and unconditionally before moving onto the next. You need to love each habit, make it work for you and only then will you start to see just how tangible and powerful these small changes can be.
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January – Reduce, Reuse, Recycle (and compost?!)
An easy (but addictive) habit to start off with – recycling. Start now if you don’t already. Make reduce, reuse, recycle your life motto. Get a recycling container that’s bigger than your waste bin. Check the packaging of the things you buy. Check your local recycling. Locate recycling points in your area and loop them in to shopping trips to save time and energy. You’ll quickly become that colleague in the office that polices the rubbish bins for plastic bottles. Many councils also offer a food waste stream, which is used to generate green energy or you can compost the waste at home.
February – Reduce Meat and Dairy Intake
We don’t really need as much meat and dairy as the world (or our stomachs) tell us. If going vegan is one step too far (my husband is nodding), try meat-free-Mondays or skip dairy for a few weeks each year. It’s good for you and for the planet. With more and more veggie options available out there, you won’t be lacking choice, flavour and nutrients.
March – Shop Cruelty-Free
Whilst we’re on the topic of animals, my next step was to go cruelty-free and leather-free. It’s easy to reduce our meat and dairy intake to prevent animal suffering without considering the bigger picture. Leather is not a by-product of the meat industry. And just because bunnies don’t wash up or brush their teeth doesn’t mean our kitchen and bathroom cupboards are necessarily cruelty-free. Although I was extremely shocked by the number of products in my house that did not sport the leaping bunny logo or claim to be free from animal testing, it only took a couple of swaps and a bit of googling to restock my cosmetics and cleaning equipment. And shopping cruelty-free doesn’t necessarily mean breaking the bank with outrageously priced hipster products hand-crafted in someone’s yurt. Since animal testing is actually illegal in the UK, many supermarkets’ own brands will be cruelty-free (hello Tesco) and there are some great low-cost cosmetics out there like Superdrug’s own range, BWC and Sainsbury’s Purify. Some personal favourites include Ecover, Lush, The Body Shop, Faith in Nature and Original Source.
April – Grow Your Own Veggies
Spring is the time to start planting, or so I’ve heard. Unfortunately, I’ve never had much luck with growing anything (indoors or outdoors) but I’m keen to make 2018 the year I successfully nurture something edible. A good friend of mine recently purchased an allotment and now has tomatoes and courgettes for all eternity. Other possible options include local farmer’s markets or organic alternatives.
May – Buy Fair-Trade (Food)
There are some foods, however, that we cannot grow in our backyard or indoor greenhouse. One thing that strikes me again and again in this ever-more-globalised world is that I (really) have no idea where my food comes from. Although I reluctantly have to put a proportionate amount of trust in my supermarkets, there are a few choices that I know will definitely benefit those who grow and pack the food I buy. After being introduced to STOP THE TRAFFIK many years ago, I’ve learnt a well-kept secret of the industry that the foods most susceptible to child slavery are chocolate, bananas, tea and coffee. If you only make one swap to Fairtrade this month, make it count. Sure it may cost a few pennies more, but it’s more than worth it when you know that your cupboard basics are not fuelling the international slave trade.
June – Buy Fair-Trade (Clothing)
I’m sure we are all well aware (or “blissfully ignorant”) that sweat shops and child labour are still very much present in today’s clothing industry. And thanks to the increasing demand for fast fashion and cheap clothes, this trend isn’t declining any time soon. Although there are many brands that are fair-trade and sweatshop free, my main advice is to start in charity shops for the wardrobe basics and put pressure on big brands to change their production practices. Ethical consumer provides an excellent visual guide to shopping.
July – Cut Out Non-Recyclable Plastic
We’re already half-way through the year and I feel we’ve made some big changes to our buying habits. It also makes us more mindful of our connection to those around us and how each small choice can have a global impact. This month is the most challenging habit yet: cutting out non-recyclable plastics. My husband and I took on this “fast” from single-use plastics for Lent and it was the longest 46 days of my entire life. I was prepared for having to cut out crisps and biscuits and ready meals etc. But I was not ready for the extra time spent checking all of the packets of spinach in four different supermarkets until I found one that was recyclable (after two weeks of searching!). And with all good intentions of making our own bread and pasta, it’s incredible to think how much of the grub, gadgets and gifts we buy is coated with metres upon metres of non-recyclable plastic – plastic that will stay on this planet for the rest of eternity (or add to global warming during incineration). After the initial trauma of not being able to pick up a quick coffee and sandwich on the go and having to plan and prepare every single meal in advance, we settled into a rhythm of buying all of our fruit and veg loose (much to the cashiers dismay), stocking up on frozen goods in cardboard packaging and going without cheese for a couple of weeks. My top tips would be:
- Bio-degradable cling-film made from plants
- Bamboo tooth-brushes (some are better than others!)
- OraCare toothpaste (cruelty-free and in partnership with TerraCycle)
- Join a local zero-waste Facebook group for daily tips and encouragement
August – Reduce Single-Use Recyclable Packaging
Now we’ve cut our waste right down and we’re recycling the majority of packaging and composting food-waste, it’s time to reduce the amount of single-use products we buy. Time to purchase that pretty Ecoffee Cup (and get discounts on hot drinks out!), make use of re-fill facilities and buy in bulk where possible.
My husband and I recently visited U-Weigh in Hythe, a beautiful and typically English town on the Kent coast. Here you can bring you own containers and fill them up with pasta, rice, lentils, sultanas, popping corn, nuts, seeds, flour… you name it, they’ve got it – loose and in bulk. The owner laughed when I asked how long they’d been there. “Thirty years!” he said, although back then the shop served a very different purpose: mainly offering basic everyday products locally and at a reasonable price. Now they have a new kind of clientele: the zero-waste generation. Shops like this, as well as Ethos in Maidstone that offer refills of washing and cleaning liquids are the start (or rather the return) of a waste-not-want-not attitude to consumerism. And it’s up to us to support the movement.
September – Cut out Palm Oil
I wasn’t really aware that non-sustainable palm oil was still creeping into a large number of food products and cosmetics sold in the UK. A French friend of mine mentioned to me recently that she hasn’t eaten Nutella for years as her stand against palm oil – a French person abstaining from Nutella?! She must have good reason. It struck me that I always looked for the words in bold on packaging, checked for the little vegan symbol and then headed straight to the recycling possibilities; I completely glossed over this little ingredient. Nevertheless, after a quick bit of research I discovered that the palm oil industry is linked to major issues such as deforestation, habitat degradation, climate change, animal cruelty and indigenous rights abuses. Huge areas of rainforest are cleared to make way for palm oil production, land which could then remain infertile for years. There are, however many happy alternatives such as rapeseed oil and sustainable palm oil – just check for the RSPO label. After another round of packaging checking and research, I began to famliarise myself with products to avoid and the alternatives. Spoiler alert – you’re probably going to have to get a new favourite biscuit!
October – Speak up and get writing
By now I’m feeling a lot more aware about the ingredients of the products that I buy and the food that I eat. However, I can’t avoid the occasional snack on the go or an emergency purchase when we run out of toilet roll. It helps to remember that some changes are outside of my control. For bigger changes such as urging cafes to stop offering plastic straws and cutlery, asking councils to provide better recycling facilities or encouraging snack companies to re-think their packaging, we’re going to have to get writing, tweeting and petitioning. This year I’ve got a new found respect for Twitter and the ability to hold corporations to account publically and force them to respond regarding the ethos of their products, the recyclability of the packaging and the traceability of the ingredients. I’m sure my local MP is fed up of the emails I send but until we have Tetrapack recycling facilities in this borough I will not stop! This month I’m encouraging you to contact your MP or local council, sign a petition for an issue close to your heart and write to your favourite snack company and push for change.
November – Switch to Ecotricity
A nice easy one for the end of the year as we head back into the cold season. Switch to Ecotricity. The only UK supplier of 100% green electricity from renewable energy sources and 100% frack-free green gas. Although their customer service leaves a lot to be desired, the switch was quick and easy and they even gave us a free £25 Luch voucher – what’s not to love?
December – Start Volunteering
Finally, we’ve reached December. Christmas is coming, we’re feeling great about our life choices and the new habits we’ve incorporated into our lives. Now it’s time to give something back. Use those spare hours on a weekday evening to help at a local homeless shelter. Research active charities in your local area. Find something you’re passionate about and invest time and money into something worthwhile that gets you out of that work, gym, sleep repeat cycle. Helping others has been proven to fight depression, improve confidence and self-esteem and build community. Doing good does you good.
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Let’s support each other on our calendar years of life-changing habits. Comment, share and encourage.
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Veganuary
As we get older we learn what we like and what we believe to be true. These tastes and beliefs have probably changed and matured over time and we look back at our younger selves as unrecognisable heaps of naivety. And then in ten more years’ time we repeat the same despairing assessment on our wasted youth. As an introvert I do a lot of thinking and spend a fair while in my “mind palace”, which takes up a rather inconvenient amount of time and energy. But I have come to accept this as one of my quirks and every now and then I cater to its needs by setting aside some time to sort through all the emotional junk in my brain and free up some space for some new realisations.
Every New Year’s Eve I reflect on the year gone by and think of everything I have achieved. I write this down to reassure myself that my life on this planet wasn’t a complete waste of time and then I turn the page and create a list of things I’d like to achieve next year. Despite best intentions, this list is always extremely long and usually turns into a five year plan, but it’s a nice cognitive behavioural exercise that keeps me sane from one year to the next (although I’m sure my husband will have other things to say about my sanity…)
Top on my list this year was: “GO VEGAN” right before “Try carb cycling” and “Go to the gym more often” – which I know are definitely not SMART goals – and then further down the list more mundane things like “Get windows cleaned”. Before I knew it I was writing a to-do list and a weekly plan of how I wanted my life to shape out in January. Luckily the wine kicked in and I was asleep before I got too carried away, dreaming happy thoughts of who I was going to become in 2018.
Now, half-way through January I’m reasonably impressed with myself. No, the windows have still not been cleaned and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life (career-wise), but I am actually enjoying this cruelty-free vegan life choice that I’ve made, so much so that I wanted to write about how attainable it is (disclaimer: subsequent blogs will probably contain more vegan propaganda).
I’ve always been a closet lacto-free vegetarian and for a long time I’ve kept my beliefs to myself. I fell in love with a carnivore, which is hilarious to several of our friends, and I know several people are praying for me, as if vegetarianism is a terminal illness. Most of the time I just laugh along with it, but recently I’ve become a bit more mindful of my feelings and responses. Maybe it’s the millennial spirit in me that desperately wants to be loved and save the world simultaneously or maybe it’s just because we’ve reach a tipping point in society and people are finally waking up (myself included) and learning that a few tree-hugging vegetarians are not going to make the changes they want to see in the world. It was hard for me to admit, but as anal as I am about recycling and avoiding plastics and as dedicated as I am to only buying Fairtrade coffee and chocolate and not supporting the meat or dairy industries, I am still only one person. And whilst there are still people in high places who believe that it’s a-OK to fill up our oceans with plastic, to frack for oil and to exploit animals for our greed at the expense of our planet (and our future), then we eco-warriors* need to step up our game! *I use the term eco-warriors inclusively - in the sense that every individual on this planet must act as a steward and take responsibility for the actions of the many.
So this blog comes with a warning – 2018 is the year for activism and I want to start off by showing just how attainable it is to:
1. Go vegan (without growing a hipster man-bun and bathing in avocado)
2. Source cruelty-free products (without breaking the bank)
3. Act as an advocate for planet Earth and humankind (as a way of life)
Watch this space…
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If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.
Glenn Clark (via travel-quotes)
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Season of Easter Part 2: The disciple Jesus loved
The account of the crucifixion in John’s Gospel has always moved me.
Yet I always found it strange the way John would describe himself as “the disciple Jesus loved”. At first I imagined John as the “favourite”, the one that Jesus “liked best”, perhaps the disciple Jesus was closest too and I could not relate to this almost hypocritical yet unashamed depiction of oneself as the “best” disciple.
Yet recently I was reminded of the video by Mike Donehey from Tenth Avenue North and I realised that this is actually the most humble way John could have described himself. He does not identify himself through his personal gain or worldly achievements; he simply describes his identity in Christ and that he is loved by God.
Mike expresses it much better than I could here in his video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBYocn4FXgc
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Season of Easter Part 1: Free
The season of Lent and Easter, as a Christian, is a period of the year where I see the most spiritual growth in myself. This year was no exception, but the time was rather more challenging than usual.
Upon my return from Germany I entered a time of healing and slowly but surely God stitched up the wounds of worry and soothed the burns of anxiety. I started a new job, learnt to drive, bought a car, booked a date for my wedding…On the surface it all seemed a very natural and positive progression of “normal” adult life. Yet this year, for me, has indeed been much more than that. It has been a restoring of my soul, realigning my heart and mind with God’s purpose for me and learning to put my wellbeing first.
Lent is traditionally a period of fasting, of sacrificing something that could distract our minds from God. Over the years I have sacrificed many different “worldly” things during Lent: chocolate, alcohol, Facebook, sugary snacks, clothes shopping etc. However, this year God prompted me to give up something different entirely: to give up feeling guilty. When God first nudged me about this I laughed because it seemed such an intangible and unmanageable task for my strategic brain. I couldn’t imagine 40 days and nights (at least) of guilt-free living. My second thought was to question the task further – are we even “allowed” to live without guilt?
The answer resonated clearly and I was uncertain as to why I had not ever fully comprehended this fact before throughout my walk with Christ:
“Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1
i.e. If we are not condemned, we have no guilt. In actual fact we should not have guilt.
Guilt is a natural response to the lies of the Devil. Guilt is a worldly symptom of failure which leads to self-criticism, self-doubt and other such delights of Satan. Guilt is destructive. And these are the very chains Jesus broke when He died for us on the cross. Living with guilt is like living at the crucifixion, it’s like ‘staring at the grave’, as the pastor said this morning, when actually we are living POST-resurrection, the battle is WON, we have VICTORY over death, we are FREE from the chains of guilt and sin, RELEASED from the slavery of the instincts that tell us we are not good enough. Therefore we are indeed allowed – in fact we are obliged – to live a life without guilt, without condemnation, for this is the true purpose of Jesus’ death on the cross: to set us free and restore the perfect relationship between us and God. As Saint Paul writes:
"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.“ Galatians 2:20
This is not to say we are exempt from conviction, or from stumbling, taking a wrong turn, losing sight of the cross temporarily, but as soon as we turn our face back to Christ, it is there we find the guilt once again lifted, our mistakes forgiven and our hearts set free to worship the One who sacrificed all for us. We are but saints that sometimes sin, as my pastor puts it.
So during this Lenten season, I tried (and failed and tried again) to live each day guilt-free – whilst remaining mind-full. Guilt-free did not mean for me a reckless life of sin and greed, nor did it make for easier stress-free days or a more relaxed approach to sin. It simply meant I was learning to live the life Jesus had died to give me, in the freedom of Christ.
“It is for freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
Amen
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Chapters
Wouldn’t it be a treat to be able to sit down and write our life stories BEFORE they happen? To set them all out in nice little neat, equally-sized Chapters. Create a whole series. A saga, even. A novel that you can see start and end, develop and unravel, whilst knowing, quite securely, that it will all be wrapped up in a perfect happy-ending.
I don’t know how often I entertain the idea of planning my life out, preparing myself for what I hope will happen next. And after my accident I promised myself I wouldn’t, that I would let God be in control. Yet day after day I find myself running off the tracks, always ending up in the same place.
Hopeless, helpless, heartless.
Almost tempted to return to the place I was pre-Holy Spirit. Pre-freedom. Pre-saving. Pre-identity in Christ. Spiralling into black depression and red hot self-hatred.
And yet not even the most controversial of authors like to repeat Chapters in their books. No one wants to read a novel where the characters screw up over and over. Where the protagonist becomes its own antagonist. Where the goodie turns out to be a pathetic, weak excuse for a hero. And yet that’s what my Book looks like. That’s what Our Book looks like. In actual fact, that’s what the Bible looks like. That’s the Book God had to read over and over and over.
And yet He still continues to read.
“But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” Psalm 86:15
Currently one of the darkest Chapters of my Book is coming to a close. A Chapter that opened with such hope and excitement, one that saw the man of my dreams get down on one knee and ask me to marry him, one that saw me start life as a professional linguist, one that saw me move abroad and develop a heart for God’s people on the continent, one that threw me into the darkest streets of one of Germany’s poorest cities…
Yes. The Chapter didn’t develop how I pre-wrote it. The real Chapter didn’t go to plan.
In my version I didn’t have to work 50 hour weeks to scrape by. I didn’t have to suffer bouts of exhaustion, insomnia, depression, disillusion, despair. I didn’t have to wonder if marriage would ever happen, if life was still worth living, if things could actually get any worse…
But in my version I also didn’t see myself giving my entirety to God.
To provide, which He did. Generously.
To love and hold me, which He did. Hourly.
To protect me, which He did. More than I will ever know.
To teach me, once again, that I am but a jar of clay.
These past six months have been strange. And every day I have (at times reluctantly) asked Christ to give me oil in my lap, to keep me burning and asked him (desperately) why on Earth I should keep burning.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
So now I can close this Chapter saying it is WELL with my soul.
I can close the Chapter with PRAISE. Giving GLORY to my God.
I await my next Chapter in England with ANTICIPATION. With JOY. With HOPE.
“For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Romans 8:24-25
And most of all, with OBEDIENCE and PATIENCE.
I may not know what this next Chapter holds and I may be tempted every second to write a few draft versions. But I know that leaving it to be written by God’s hand will make it a Chapter worth reading.
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18
And with Christ, there is always a happy ending.
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Why Vote?
Whilst SUSU elections are currently taking place I thought I’d put a little (hopefully encouraging) opinion out there as to why I jumped at the chance to vote.
From an all too feminist background I suppose it was drilled into me from a very young age that it was my right to vote, that people died so that I could have this right, and that it was very much a disgrace to democracy not to vote.
Because we do indeed live in a democracy and the fact that you can choose not to vote does very much highlight this truth. And yet, quite frankly, the poor turnout for university elections (as well as local and national elections in 2010) disgusts me. The attitude towards voting, especially amongst younger generations, has become increasingly negative and with the current state of political affairs, it is natural to be angry at a capitalist system that favours the small rich minority but it is completely unjustified as a reason to simply not vote.
Nothing has changed and my vote won’t make a difference.
Apparently your vote has a 0.005% chance of making a difference in the general elections because of course that is all it is – one vote! But how can we be so narrow-mindedly British and forget that we are not alone in this country made up of 64 million single voters. France’s former president Nicolas Sarkozy was shocked at the support for the Far-Right National Front party in the French Presidential Election of 2012 as France stood up in a national confrontation against him. In Canada the margins are frequently so small they require a secondary vote. In the UK, if more people had voted, perhaps we wouldn’t be left with this ridiculous coalition caused by confused voters. If every individual voted, really took the time to figure out what they believed, politics wouldn’t be such a foreign world to the masses and chances are we’d see some changes in our country.
I don’t agree with any of the political parties.
Really? Have you really sat down and carefully read every individual manifesto? Do you really not care about the social injustices in this world or can you just not be bothered to get involved, because it really is just too easy living in a democracy? Is it really so inconvenient to walk to the nearest polling station and put a cross in the box that most suits your hopes for the UK. When we take a quick glance at the political corruption in other parts of the world, can we not realise the depth of our fortune to be living in one of the most peaceful and just countries that does indeed listen to its citizens? My advice to the UK is to get curious about politics, get informed, get angry and get involved!
I am angry at MPs and their broken promises; I don’t believe that we live in a democracy.
Nearly half of Britons say they are angry with politics and politicians. The broken promises and disproportion of wealth has been driving people away from voting polls. But how is anything going to change if half the people are not valuing their vote? A low turnout at voting polls tells the politicians that we indifferent, not angry. Unless no-one votes at all and the country is left without a government, like Italy in 2013, social groups in the UK will remain without a voice and without the right to complain. If you don’t agree with a policy, write to parliament. If you don’t want the big parties to wallow in their power, vote for a marginal party and give them more seats in parliament. Granted, the party might not ever rule the country but their policies certainly might get a voice with more seats. If you want to see change, be the change. It really is as easy as that.
The world of politics is just a rich “Old Boys’ Club”.
Wealthier people are more likely to vote, therefore politics are always going to revolve around their needs. Now, in an ideal world, some people are always going to have more than others. However, the distribution of wealth in the UK is far from ideal. According to a recent ICM poll, the richest 20% have 60% of the wealth, almost twice as much as everyone else put together, and 100 times more than the bottom 20%. If, however, the 80% of the less-wealthy Britons voted, politics would certainly take a turn for the better. There less than 1000 people in parliament and compared with 64 million people in this country. If every single one of us voted, general elections would be far from a popularity contest, instead they would truly represent the wishes of this country.
Secondly, it is sadly still true that politics is dominated by men, but the fact that women are allowed to enter parliament in a professional position is a positive sign of development. In a male-dominated Westminster culture it is difficult for women to be valued and respected in politics; however, this is not to say that they haven’t tried and won’t continue to try to make Britain a more equal and just place.
Your optimism is unrealistic.
We are on Earth for such a short and temporary period of time. It is entirely selfish to think we are here to make money and better our own lives. Indeed, what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? (Matthew 16:26) Instead we should do what little we can to give money and better the world. It may seem entirely futile to the less optimistic among Britain, but social injustice is not going to change unless we collectively do something about it. Postal voting, the internet, social networking – modern technology is making it ever easier to get our voices heard collectively. Each collective group, however, is made up of millions of individuals with unique minds and talents and opinions. We can all bring something to this world, and in the UK we all have a right and a duty to. Please vote.
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Under construction
"As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12
I love Berlin. It was a love that started as nothing, as indifference and then one fine autumnal day when the sun was shining over the River Spree and I looked down over the city from the 360˚ café in the Fernsehturm on Alexanderplatz. I realised I was in love with the capital. And then every day since as I find new hidden arty cafes, fall under the shadow of another cathedral copula and jog through a new park I feel a humbling sense of joy knowing that I get to live here for a month.
But it’s not just the beautiful and stunning parts that get me, the beauty of Tiergarten and the immensity of the architecture; it’s the rundown train stations where the rather talented buskers sing their souls out and the graffiti-ed buildings in the dark corners of East Berlin which have seen so much, lived through so much, desperate to tell their stories to the world. It’s the language and the languages that dance through the streets and the bars that live through the day and the night.
Interestingly Berlin is still a working progress. Since the fall of the wall, West and East Berlin have been trying – and somehow succeeding and failing simultaneously – to reunite. Everywhere the roads are being dug up, tram ways are being restored, castles are being renovated, here and there old shops are being made new thus a simple journey from A to B usually takes an awful lot longer than planned. But luckily there seems to be far fewer rules in Berlin than in the rest of Germany, jay-walking is frequent and the cyclists are anything but cautious. I think they are the real owners of Berlin. Trams arrive late, buses sometimes never arrive at all and far too many beers are taken onto the U-Bahn than would be deemed ‘legal’. Protests are frequent, spontaneity is key and despite the globalisation and modernisation of the capital where McDonalds and Starbucks can now be found at Checkpoint Charlie, the whole city just seems to live and breathe its history. On every corner there’s a museum (usually next to a temporary Curry-Wurst stall) and around every block of flats there’s a sudden patch of green, usually sporting a lake with ducks. Summer invites tourists to get on a boat or a bike (or a Segway if you’re into that) and simply experience Berlin. Look at the history, the landmarks, the pride and sorrow of a broken Berlin. Touch the walls with the bullet marks. Breathe the restless air of revolution. Hear the song of the German capital. Sense the tragedy, the heart break, the memories. And then finish off a day in a Kneipe, putting the world to rights over a beer.
We are a world under construction. A world that needs uniting.
"He did not say this on his own, but as high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the Jewish nation, and not only for that nation but also for the scattered children of God, to bring them together and make them one." John 51-52
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Control
I’m a girl; I like to be in control. Of life, of situations, of myself, of my feelings, of events and of the way other people treat me. I know full well that’s impossible but I still like to try and sometimes it’s very painful when life reminds you that you are in no way in control of anything that happens.
This week has been challenging; for one thing the weather has been terrible and that always gets me down. Especially when my only escape from work is an uplifting walk through the sand dunes or a jog along the beach or simply sitting on the steps of my little wooden hut watching the world go by. Rain, grey skies and thunderstorms have meant that I’m confined to sleep or general inside-ness. Unfortunately sleep has been impossible for the past few weeks due to back pain, headaches and a problem with my nervous system brought on by the physical work of the youth hostel and the constant ten hour working days. So I’m in pain. I’m tired. And it’s raining. And yesterday I got written off sick by the doctor.
And during that time God tells me to stay faithful. To stay strong. To stay focussed. To keep my eyes on Him. To count my blessings. To let Him be in control. To go against everything that our selfish desires lead us towards. (James 1:12-22)
Because He is faithful! He is strong! He is focussed on our lives, He is focussed about loving and protecting and blessing us! He is in control because He knows what’s best for us! He needs to be in control because His plans are perfect and holy and He knows that we can’t do it without Him. (Lamentations 3:22-23)
Sometimes the road is hard, but we only make it harder if we try to go it alone. Most of the time God’s plan isn’t the easiest either, but it does lead to peace, wisdom and bringing more Light into this beautiful world.
And when I understand that, then Langeoog radiates with beauty even under its dramatic grey skies pouring with rain.
Amen
Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.
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Birthday
Today I celebrate yet another birthday in a foreign country - but under the very same weather conditions as the ones I was born in; torrential rain. Rain on Langeoog is not this polite British summertime shower, it’s all-out thunderstorms, hail and cold wind – exactly not what you expect in August! So today hasn’t been as eventful as I planned. No beach, no swimming in the sea, no BBQ, no singing songs round the campfire. But I did have cosy tea and cake inside the youth hostel, made by my lovely German colleagues, and a long lie-in, which was exactly what my tired body needed.
I know that God has given me a desire to travel and I can only pray that I am being a Light and Witness to Him as I journey around, meeting people, learning about them, being placed in environments with clashing personalities, stress and generally “foreign” behaviour. My time on Langeoog has been busy and challenging to say the least and being away from home for my twenty first is not the easiest way to celebrate a milestone year. Most of all due to the fact that my birthday is not really about me. It’s ironic that we always focus on US as the celebration of the day; how many years WE have managed to stay alive; how much I have achieved in my life etc etc. But in reality it’s my mother and my family that I should be celebrating: the one who gave birth to me; the ones that raised me; the ones who I need to thank for making it 21 years into life. And although it may not be much – most of all because I feel so far away from home right now (literally on a dessert island) – I write this blog for them, to thank them for everything they have done in my life, for all their support and love and prayers (they definitely know who they are!). Today I am celebrating YOUR part in my life. The years and the days and the events that I have witnessed are almost irrelevant if it wasn’t for the presence of my incredible family: biological family, Church family, extended family abroad and of course my Father in Heaven.
And whilst I was fretting about my absence from home, Max said something quite beautiful to me. He suggested that living and working on this beautiful island, seeing all of God’s creation from a pretty at-one-with-nature point of view, is like God’s birthday present to me. It’s true that I feel entirely blessed to be here, and even if I am working too hard, I know that I’m playing a small part in helping this youth hostel remain open, helping the guests to have an enjoyable holiday, helping my colleagues to stay motivated and experiencing what it is like to live and work for Christ, using the skills He gave me (languages) to serve Him.
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Footprints
Yesterday was Sunday, the most perfect Sunday. I woke early (it barely gets dark here so far north, we only have a few hours of complete darkness in the summer) and went to Church where we all held hands to say the Lord’s Prayer in German, which was a lovely moment. I had been feeling rather detached from reality so Church was a welcome blessing. But little did I know, it was just the start of a very powerful day.
When I returned I discovered that my closest colleague is also a Christian and we spent a few silent moments just grinning with the joy of the Holy Spirit at how perfect and wonderful God’s plans are. How amazing his judgement and timing are. How blessed we are to know that.
Then I managed a nap and woke to such bright and encouraging sunlight, which tempted me then to go for a walk along the beach. And what a spiritual experience that was. A romantic walk along the beach with the love of my life – God of the universe! He reminded me that I am never alone. Wherever I go, although languages and landscape may change, God remains the same and loves me the same. I looked at the sand and was reminded of the poem “Footprints” and that powerful last line: “when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.” Last night I truly felt that God was carrying me, letting me rest my tired feet, and my weary soul.
The God made me look up at the sky at the perfect moment where two aeroplanes had just crossed paths making a beautiful picture in the sky reminding me that He is risen, He is alive and He loves me. Wholly and entirely and unconditionally. And He is protecting me on Langeoog, where all the glory of His creation is revealed in its purest form – animals, sand dunes, untouched shores, a million stars and perfect sunsets.
Hallelujah for the Sabbath! Amen.
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International Women’s Day
I didn’t always think of myself as a feminist. In fact, I didn’t really understand why the mission of feminism was important at all. What about all those strong women who dream of being house wives, whose ambition is to make the clothes cleaner and the cakes tastier? Those who wouldn’t complain if women were forbidden to wear trousers and had to prance about in beautiful princess dresses and receive flowers from their sweethearts? Those who love the idea of being “feminine”, of having a husband to protect them, of being the bearer of children, of being naturally submissive or being able to sing in tune? Those who don’t resent the fact that their leaders are male nor that they will never be able to lift hundred kilogram weights?
And yet of course, I am writing this from a biased perspective and already considering those stereotypical notions makes me cringe. I can’t deny the fact that I went to an all-girls Grammar School, was born into a predominantly feisty female family and have not been denied any opportunity that was given to my fellow male counterparts. No doubt had I been born two hundred years ago, I would be wailing at the thought of not being able to play capoeira or have access to a decent education let alone study languages at university and being generally treated like a second-best, second-rate, second-class citizen. And this is at a time when the words of Malala Yousafzai starting hitting home.
“We realize the importance of our voices only when we are silenced.”
― Malala Yousafzai, I Am Malala
These days everyone is fighting to be “equal”. Equal rights, equal opportunities, equal pay, equal marriage and so forth. And I suppose constant exposure to all these issues can be quite desensitising, especially when you think you have it pretty good…
My previous confusion around feminism was born out of a privileged childhood where girls and boys were both treated equally and with respect and that we should all focus our careers towards science and engineering. Where we were taught that we shouldn’t dream of being “equal” in the sense that boys and girls are “identical”, but instead that we are equally deserving of respect, rights and opportunities as a diverse mixture of a beautiful unique creations in God’s eyes. Then, of course, I grew up and learned about countries where women are banned from driving or who aren’t entitled to an education, where girls are married off as child brides and where others are gang raped on buses. And immediately I realised that whilst there were women in this world still suffering as a result of sexism, I have no choice but to be a feminist.
The suffragettes fought to give women a voice and every day I thank God that I live in a world that allows me to vote, to study, to work and to be respected for who I am. But this is not the story for the majority. Yes, women have a lot more freedom than before but whilst girls and women are still trafficked into prostitution, married as children, prevented from attending school and encouraged to aspire to nothing, I see no other choice than continuing work to destroy this image of women as “objects” and “possessions” and to save women from economic hardship for the sake of their gender. Everyone should be able to reach their full potential in this world.
However, I am aware that the feminist debate seemed at one point to be spiraling out of control. Some women were so hungry for power and control and they became so wrapped up in freeing themselves from discrimination that it came at the expense of the well-being of men, their fellow stewards on planet Earth, many of whom were also fighting the feminist battle. But media hype should not be using these few radical feminists to develop the face of feminism. And that’s why feminist men and women need to keep speaking out, no matter how equal they feel.
“I raise up my voice-not so I can shout but so that those without a voice can be heard...we cannot succeed when half of us are held back.”
― Malala Yousafzai
We are currently living in an imbalanced world, where a thirst for power and control has created an ugly hierarchy in humanity, a hierarchy that drives leaders to exploit those under them, the rich to exploit the poor, the strong to exploit the weak. It is easy to become blind to this, which is why I write today. We need open our minds to these issues and keep recognising that there is work to be done, collectively, as men and women. As Malala says, it all starts with education and we need to stop putting people in labelled boxes and ultimately realise that roles and skills should not be assigned to genders but to individuals as human beings. We have no choice but to be feminists.
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