I woke up a few hours ago, and just lied in bed for a while, thinking about a bit of everything. you were on my mind too, but I don't why I didn't even remember it was your birthday. as I kept thinking about you, I suddenly realized that oh, april 8th. it's... his birthday today.
34 years ago on this day, you were born. had you been alive... you would have turned 34 today. it breaks my heart that you didn't even make it to 30. you left way too early.
it's strange how during these nine years that I've known you, so much has changed about me, yet I still remain as charmed by you as ever. yet I still love you and everything about you just as much as I did when I first became a fan, if not more. it's strange because I am not like that. but I guess you were just always that to me: an exception to everything.
I don't quite know how it makes sense to wish a dead person a happy birthday. but I am still going to do it, just because I genuinely mean it. and also because I just realized the duration of someone's existence, whether they're dead or alive, is something that is always worth celebrating. and what's more worthy of celebration than the duration of your existence, dear jjong?
so happy 34, jonghyun. I love you.