3500 years ago a bunch of people decided to build a tower to the sky and now I have to worry about keeping up my Duolingo streak

no, i don’t have a “dream job.” i want to spend my days reading and writing and lazing in the afternoon sun. i want to bake bread and brownies and apple crumble. i want to grow my own vegetables and plant a rainbow of flowers. i want to be with nature. i want to be at peace.

I could recognize any Fall Out Boy song within the first five seconds of hearing it being played but if you asked me the name it would take me a few minutes and I would probably say it wrong

i wonder what war soulja boy fought in

wish there was a washing machine type thing for humans... i too would like to gently whumbltmgrwhgbsvbsh and be cleaned

the most brutal fucking scene in television history

im a person who wants to do lots of things trapped inside a body that wants to SLEEP at all times

This is the way you’re supposed to do pranks!

I know for a fact I’ve told this story on here before but I’ll never get over the time when I was working retail and I was cashing out some lady so I asked “cash, debit or credit how are you paying, ma’am?” And she said “that’s none of your business.” And demanded to speak to my manager about my invasive question

rain doggo 

(via)

I'm....

this next trick is a little something i like to call “bulking out my bibliography with articles I barely looked at”

unrestrained summer fun

New pants

ppl w curly hair are so important